Disclaimer: All unbiased opinions presented in this post are solely those of the WhiteQueen and do not necessarily represent those of the Smogon staff, TDs, and its community.
This team requires no introduction, as I've been trashing them ever since seeing their line up in the sign-ups thread. The perpetually weakest U.S. team, at #14, team U.S. Central.
U.S. Central
Captain: Zebraiken
Co-Captain: theurbandear -- sorry don't know you
ORAS 1: d0nut -- sorry don't know you either
ORAS 2: Improbable -- and you as well :(
ORAS 3: Living So Zambian -- I only recognize the name because one of my biggest gay fans messaged me this during the Style lock down, "You can refer to very strong users: BKC, Tesung, Dice, Reyscarface, Ojama, Living So Zambian and other big names if you want any kind of help to pratice and teambuild for this game." Guess that means he's supposed to be good?
ORAS 4: Sam -- he hosts the OUPL tournament. Guess that means he's good too?
ORAS 5: Zebraiken -- the last two or three times I got paired against him in tournament matches, unforeseen circumstances forced me to withdraw from our games. Hope he doesn't take that to mean that I'm afraid to play him. I am not afraid of a NU-caliber player
BW: Finchinator -- a motherly figure (Kevin Garrett v2.0) who's a good teammate and a quality player. With that said, you're quite delusional to think that this team can make it out of round one. You told me Central would be strong this year when we chatted. Fucking liar
DPP: Laurel -- this is not sarcasm. I honestly think you are a very good player. You just need to grow some balls and stop being a Reek. Stop putting some so called "big name players" on a pedestral, quit choking on dicks like a homosexual when you're not even lucky enough to be one, and channel some of that Ramsay swagger
ADV: e7e -- sorry don't know you
GSC: Cased -- CasedVictory, CaseKace, RiCH HOMiE CA$ED, Bodybag Bongrine, CasedVictory, Versace Python Cased, ßasedVictory, CasedVictorie, CASEDVICTORYYYYYYYYYY, and MYNAMEISCASEDVICTORY. I know all of his nicknames if that even means anything. Oh. beat Earthworm and I'll be your bitch
RBY: Golden Gyarados -- sorry don't know you
Subs:
fatty -- dude was a poor man version of me in BW UU. Now he's a poor man version of me in ORAS OU
Hikari -- kokoloko's successor... I can't say much more without getting multiple infractions
jpw234 -- I haven't seen my new friend play enough yet to make an accurate assessment
moony -- I think he enjoys warming benches more so than actually playing
Mr.378 -- sorry don't know you