Walrus WALRUS, The Return Of. [Won by Ampharos]

[Yeti]

Returning to his second place home:

Wilco - Can't Stand It
Subbed by Gmax
Score: 7.7

This song hits the mark for the category's sound but is unfortunately a little slow with a little less going on compared to the one above it on the sheet. I think this placement will be right. It was a good submission. It picks up a bit near the end.

 

[Yeti]

Which makes Cat 3's winner...

Vertical Horizon - You're a God
Subbed by Da Letter El
Score: 8

That guitar intro is very on-trend for this category lol. This was a good sub, whoever did it really nailed the cat vibe. COULD it be faster, yeah, and then it would score higher lol

 

[Yeti]

Current standings. Ampharos holds her lead for now, but Da Letter El is a mere faster song submission away from overtaking her.

Cat 4 at 8-8:30ish pm Pacific tomorrow 1/13.

 

[Ampharos]

Subbed by Ampharos
Score: 6.9

nice

 

[Yeti]

Category 4: Whiplash
The premise of this round was to submit two songs that, when played back to back, grab your attention because their sounds are so different. I think it lets people be pretty flexible with their submissions.

This category awarded 23 points total, 10 for the first song, 10 for the second song, and 3 for the whiplash value.

It was a rough one for many users.

We have a tie for 10th due to some tied total scores. Kicking off Category 4, in last place part 1:

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze Soundtrack - Twilight Terror ~ Stickerbrush Symphony
Score: 2.5
Leads into: Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze Soundtrack - Punch Bowl
Score: 4
Whiplash: 2.5
Total: 9
Subbed by theangryscientist

Two songs from the same album seems poised to deal with the same problem as two songs from the same series in terms of how disparate can they REALLY be? This first one is a bit of a clunker lol. I never played Donkey Kong games. It's boring af. YouTube is gonna autoplay something after this ends (5 minutes.. why..) and I'm gonna be like whoa it ended? Alright these are pretty different in sound, but that's likely because the first one barely has a sound. The second one is better but I don't like it too much. It gets a little better as listening goes on but in comparison to the high-scoring combo of songs before this on the list, it's just whatever. I'm kinda just thankful when it ends.

 

[Yeti]

The other tie-10th. I listened to these two back-to-back and I think they brought each other down

Gavin Dunne/Miracle of Sound - Mother Earth
Score: 3.5
Leads into:
Tyler Shaw/Aviators - Too Late for a Savior
Score: 4.5
Whiplash: 1
Total: 9
Subbed by Aura Guardian

11:43 song........... this had best be good. It takes some time to get into the lyrics and I don't.. I don't really know. Is this supposed to be progrock? I don't think that genre is for me. It feels like it takes the hype out of rock but the actual melancholy out of emo and combines the flimsy remains into one genre. I guess this is picking up but it suffers from the fact it's long af and there is a LOT of song that needed to be trimmed to make this one actually interesting. THE OTHER ONE IS 7 MINUTES WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think these sound that far apart honestly lol. This one also seems like progrock but a little more indie synth pop going on. It's also slow. It's better than the other song but it's not at all exciting. Please let this submission end...

 

[Yeti]

Another OST submission narrowly avoids last place, and instead takes 9th:

LoZ Skyward Sword: Zelda's Lullaby
Score: 4.1
Leads into: LoZ Skyward Sword: Ballad of the Goddess
Score: 4.6
Whiplash: 1.5
Total: 10.2
Subbed by Lechen

Can u guys pick OST songs that have some life to them!!!!! Not another boring one!!!!! What makes you think a song with 'lullaby' in the name is gonna touch the net in this Walrus? I don't think these two have much whiplash between them but at least the second one is short lol.

 

[Yeti]

8th place is a bit of a catfail unfortunately...

The Duck Song
Score: 5.8
Leads into: The Duck Song 2
Score: 4.7
Whiplash: 0
Total: 10.5
Subbed by CrreamyKitty

I... I fear this submitter may have been confused. Waddle waddle. WADDLE WADDLE!! The duck song is kinda catchy lol but it's not getting a Good score because it's not really a Good bop. Just a meme bop. This is gonna fail the whiplash points completely. The second song is literally the same thing as the first one. But not the first one. So it's gonna score a little lower because I'm bored.

 

[Yeti]

Outperforming his prior performances, we have 7th place:

SOAD - B.Y.O.B
Score: 4
Leads into: Vulfpeck - My First Car
Score: 4
Whiplash: 3
Total: 11
Subbed by Dead by Daylight

The first song, BYOB, starts off making itself clear: we're going for edgy metal. I don't actually like that one singer's voice in this song at all. It feels like he's putting on a weird affectation. I don't really care for this song but it's not straight noise... well mostly it isn't. My First Car is definitely a totally different sound. Both songs are immediately evident as opposite ends of the hardcore spectrum. I will give this 3 points for whiplash, though this submission is held back by the fact that neither song is particularly my jam. The second one isn't bad or offensive but it's so innocuous it's elevator music.

 

[Yeti]

Next up, we have another tie, this time for 6th place. Though the first submitter can be happy enough with their performance, the second has taken a plunge from their previous standing.

Final Fantasy IX - Roses of May
Score: 5
Leads into: Super Kirby Clash - VS. Aeon Hero
Score: 4
Whiplash: 3
Total: 12
Subbed by Lectrys

Another OST submission. Unfortunately I'm in a bad mood from the two mediocre subs above this one so idk how favorable I'm gonna be. I might go downgrade the other ones because this first song is boring but I think less bad than the others. Idk. It's not the worst... I guess it's ok. Yeah that's whiplash lol two very different sounds. This will score high in that column. The second song... well it's less boring but I think I actually like the sound of it less LMAO. That's unlucky. The sad thing is this still gives a better score than most of the clunkers in this cat.

 

[Yeti]

And the other tie from 6th, with a bit of a fall from grace barely making the halfway mark for Cat 4's total points.

Casio Mario World Soundtrack - Casio Hellburst
Score: 4
Leads into: Seal - Kiss From A Rose
Score: 6
Whiplash: 2
Total: 12
Subbed by Da Letter El

The first song here is some guy's ROM hack OST I think? I never liked Mario games so bit of a risky choice sending something trying to be one. I also never played the old consoles that had crappy soundtracks like this, I started on the PS1. I guess it kinda picks up but it still sounds like there's a static layer over the music I really don't care for. The second song I don't think is AS disparate as the two that were above this entry on my sheet, so I will give this a 2 for whiplash. The Seal song is fine but it's kinda just there. Not too exciting. It's one of those that isn't a bad song but isn't making me want to listen to it again.

 

[Yeti]

And now, at 5th place, we start to reach some songs that attempt to be repeat listenable.

Gorillaz - El Mañana
Score: 5.5
Leads into: The Kills - You Don't Own the Road
Score: 6.3
Whiplash: 1.8
Total: 13.6
Subbed by Gmax

The second Gorillaz song of this Walrus. Can it outscore the other one? Well, that isn't hard to do lol. This is unfortunately another slower song so it's not going to place particularly high. At least it isn't another OST. This cat is somehow more difficult to get through than Cat 5 was lmao. I think the transition between songs has been more stark by some other submitters than these two songs have. Most of the shock comes from how quietly El Manana whimpers out lol. The second song is more interesting than most of the other submissions in this category and will outscore them but gets outclassed by the actual heavy hitting songs in Cat 4. It's ok. There are three submissions left and this one has pulled into third with this score. Can it hold?

 

[Yeti]

Our fourth place submitter maxed out on whiplash points and has what I think is the highest-placing OST of the Walrus (so far).

Portal 2 OST - Bombs for Throwing at You
Score: 6.5
Leads into: The Stupendium - The North Pole Corporate Takeover
Score: 4.9
Whiplash: 3
Total: 14.4
Subbed by ImaginaryNeon

We finally reach an OST submission for a game I have played and genuinely enjoy/listen to some of the songs off. Do I ever choose to listen to THIS specific song? No. But it's hard to rank any Portal 2 song low. I will give this subber credit for choosing to NOT send two OSTs so there is more of a different sound between them. The instant jingle bells after a Portal 2 song? That's pretty darn far apart. This second song is a little cringe which seems to be on trend for this artist, but that's ok. The teen years are for your cringe. Song goes on way too long for its gimmick. Brevity is one of the most important components of comedy, which this channel unfortunately has not realized yet.

 

[Yeti]

Thus bringing us to the podium, featuring familiar face Ampharos returning, and first-time placers pulsar512b and UncleSam.

Taking third and improving on her stumble in Cat 3:

Ezra Furman - And Maybe God Is a Train
Score: 7
Leads into: San Fermin - Palisades/Storm
Score: 6
Whiplash: 2
Total: 15
Subbed by Ampharos

I think this submitter thought I would like the first song more than I do, because it's moving and the beat is good. Unfortunately, the artist somehow has a screechy voice for a male when singing. I presume this is a man anyway. Normally you only hear that on female singers. Like if this was covered by someone with a less annoying voice it would probably get into the 8s lol. I put this at a 7 initially, we'll see if I lower it upon further consideration. Again the whiplash doesn't feel as extreme as some other because I feel like both these songs have an indie vibe. There is a definite change but not enough to get a 3. Second song is a little too much of a snoozefest. It's less offensive than other songs in this cat but not enough to breach the actual good score numbers. It just kinda exists and I'm gonna forget about it once it ends. I feel like these scores are too generous for these songs BUT looking at the other songs and their scores, I'd rather listen to either of these two than most of the submissions that have placed below this one, so... I guess.

 

[Yeti]

Pulling into second place purely off the strength of his second song...

Mick Wingert - Spin the Wheel
Score: 5
Leads into: Denzel Curry - Dynasties and Dystopia
Score: 9.5
Whiplash: 1
Total: 15.5
Subbed by UncleSam

This submission feels a little cheese, to send two Arcane OST songs. I don't think the whiplash is actually that great since they're both Ekko-related songs. The first song is a little more yeehaw than I would like but it's not the worst thing ever. I'm only giving this a 1 for whiplash. Dynasties and Dystopia is one of the best songs off Season 1 so it's going to score well but it still feels cheap lol.

 

[Yeti]

And in first place for her first time, it's pulsar512b! With two actually good songs!

Conan Gray - Eye Of The Night
Score: 8.5
Leads into: The Front Bottoms - Father
Score: 8.2
Whiplash: 1.5
Total: 18.2
Subbed by pulsar512b

Actually this first song is kinda nice lol. I was looking at all the OSTs coming up and wondering how bad the scoring would be for this cat when this one cropped up, out here sounding like a regular song with stuff going on in it. Sounds like it was on Miami Vice's soundtrack. I actually don't think the transition between the two songs is particularly jarring. I think that trumpet (?) or whatever it is, is supposed to be pulling a lot of the weight, but it's not really as abrupt as some of the other songs. This second song feels like some indie rocker working through his severe childhood trauma but I actually like it too lol. This entry is scoring low for whiplash but the strength of the individual songs is gonna carry it to a pretty good placement, judging by what else is waiting for me.

 

[Yeti]

Category 4 has pushed consistent-placer harmony into first, bumping previous leader Ampharos to second. Gmax sneaks past Da Letter El for third, who drops down into fourth.

What will Cats 5 and 6, two polar opposites, hold?

Category 5 reveal 8pm tomorrow.

 

[Yeti]

Category 5: Humiliation Kink

Send in a song I will hate. It will be scored normally, but your points for the round will be 10-your score, so the worse your song is, the more your total increases by.

Up first we have a hero to zero moment where our current leader unfortunately, essentially, catfailed

Far East Movement - Like a G6
Score: 8.6
Subbed by pulsar512b

Ooooh noooooo this song has way too hype of a beat to place low. Yeah it's kind of annoying but I'm Devpilled and can handle her sick bass. I actually do look this up to jam to sometimes. This belonged in Cat 1 or something sadly.

 

[Yeti]

Up next in 11th is not as bad of a flop as Like a G6, but still a song the submitter probably did not expect I would like.

Hampton the Hampster - The HampsterDance Song
Score: 7
Subbed by Lectrys

Unfortunately for this submitter I have a very high tolerance of nightcore-type songs. This is kinda fun lmao. Like some of y'all prob think this is awful but I'm vibing.

 

[Yeti]

In 10th, we have not as sharp of a dive, but still an unfortunate falloff if he wanted to remain competitive.

Weird Al Yankovich - Ebay
Score: 6.3
Subbed by Gmax

Is this submitter a Weird Al hater or is this song specifically on your bottom 10? I can't hate on this song lol. It's funny. It's difficult to dislike a Weird Al cover because he usually covers songs that had successful pop beats.

 

[Yeti]

9th place finally leaves 'songs that lost more points than they earned' by being the exact halfway mark.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses - God Shattering Star Metal Cover
Score: 5
Subbed by Lechen

God Shattering Star IS kind of a metal name. The question is, is it unbearably screamy metal or is it just HARDCOOOORE? I don't think it's actually that bad? Do I like this style of music, no, but it wasn't boring.

 

[Yeti]

In 8th place we have someone who also skirted the line of sending something genuinely horrible, and instead sent something I can tolerate.

The Stupendium - AD INFINITUM
Score: 4
Subbed by ImaginaryNeon

This is about to be generational cringe isn't it. Oh actually... once it gets to like :45 there's an actual beat that drops. There is a cacophony of stuff going on but some of it is kinda catchy like that little ditty they sing around 1:20. It's garish af and has too much going on but some of the elements are not bad on their own. Unlike in country where virtually everything needs to be burned to the ground. The civilization can be lost. I don't rightly know where to place this because it was a garbled mess but if you untangle it, those tangles aren't too shabby.

 

[Yeti]

7th place marks the line between "actually this wasn't THAT bad" and "this is why God doesn't save kids with cancer."

Final Fantasy VI OST - Dancing Mad
Score: 3.5
Subbed by theangryscientist

10:46 about 10x longer than most men last. LERD. It's long af but it's not terrible. There is some intrigue to the changes in chanting/music. I don't really want to listen to it again but it's not a wretched abomination. Actually I guess I wouldn't mind listening to part of it again as opposed to something where I outright want to scrub my brain of it. I thougt it ended at 8 minutes but it still has over 2 more gyat danged song.

 

[Yeti]

In 6th place, kicking off the auditory assaults...

Nightcore - Godspeed You! Black Emperor: Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven
Score: .8
Subbed by Da Letter El

I am uncertain what to expect here. I believe this is a song that's already fast so when it's nightcored it just becomes a static screech at some parts? I can't quite tell what is going on here lmao it seems to transition between stuff that's going on with no real rhyme or reason. At least in the nightcore version. Some of this stuff sounds like you're just underwater?? Retuning your television?? Like, what did this stuff originally sound like, because usually nightcores don't become so garbled. There's an elephant trumpet or something at one point? What is going on lmao. People are randomly talking normally at some points in the middle of the song? I leave this video utterly confused by what I've just been subjected to. Is this an advanced form of gaslighting, to distort the victim's perception of reality and make them question so many things at once they are susceptible to your crooked suggestions?

 

[Yeti]

5th place is a very different sound to 6th, but manages to be a worse sound.

Artist unclear - Anthropomorphize
Score: .5
Subbed by UncleSam

"The Long, Boring Song" - as we have been over, the worst thing a song can be is boring. I guess at least the guitar is ok but this dude shouldn't be singing. You know how some people have a face for radio? This dude has a voice for silent movies. Boring is right god dang this thing drags on. And yet it's SO boring it's not really offensive. It just exists. Taking up space. To someday be forgotten and never again listened to. Nobody will remember its name. This song feels like what being on life support when your skull is caved in and you're just waiting for someone to unplug you while your muscles atrophy.