This match was a close, if not highly skilled match. I had gotten afew close games with others after bragging to be "15-0" and getting many challenges, but always got finished when they brought out an uber of their own to fight mine. (Or actually played their predictions right) I wanted to use this team until I won a game with it, and it happened by around the fifth game or so. This game was played on Shoddy on non ladder of course. I was originally dancing along the lines of a full joke team, but unfortunately I got bored trying to think of the last pokemon I wanted and used croagunk as filler (And basically a free pokemon to see up on)
All pokemon including Palkia were not given the optimal movesets, Items, EVs or even nature. I just did them how I felt they should be done on the spot.
Anyway without further ado
My (kranas) Team:
Maumau85710:
_____________________________
Rules: Evasion Clause, Extended Game, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Sleep Clause, Timed Battle
_____________________________
kranas sent out Penis (lvl 100 Metapod ?).
maumau85710 sent out Garchomp (lvl 100 Garchomp ?).
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
Penis lost 78% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Penis used Harden.
Penis's defence was raised.
---
I was actually hoping the Garchomp was the SD variety, but my Penis gets off its token harden, needed to unleash string shot. Most leads with a setup that wasn't dragon dance that I had faced would spam their stat ups only to receive a face full of string shot, effectively making their baton pass useless on most pokemon.
I also faced an starter (wtf?) physical Electivire whose attacks soon proved useless to the might of harden. Metapod is of course effectively a trap pokemon as well, because noone ever wants to suffer the embarrassment of switching out on a Metapod. I suggest Gamefreak give Metapod and Kakuna a recover move in future generations for even more cocoon ownage and it could really shine as a lead.
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
A critical hit!
Penis lost 167% of its health.
kranas's Penis fainted.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
---
Unfortunately Garchomp scores the KO, and my Metapod faints. GJ Penis, if only you had gotten in your string shot, your job would have been complete.
5-6
kranas switched in Michael Jackson (lvl 100 Golduck ?).
Garchomp used Earthquake.
Michael Jackson lost 91% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Garchomp became drowsy!
---
I was stupid and forgot Metapods awe factor that prevents switching, and try to yawn Garchomp to get him to switch even though he obviously isn't going to, especially with a possible sweep on the cards. Now Michael Jackson is going to die to basically anything that is faster then it or has a priority move. I could have also Ice Punched instead of yawning since it obviously doesn't have a yache.
kranas switched in LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ (lvl 100 Farfetch'd ?).
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ lost 98% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Garchomp fell asleep!
---
Farfetch'D had Focus Sash and should have come out after Metapod instead of Golduck.
Garchomp is fast asleep!
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ used Flail.
A critical hit!
Garchomp lost 154% of its health.
maumau85710's Garchomp fainted.
---
Farfetch'D 1
Garchomp 0
5-5
maumau85710 switched in Vaporeon (lvl 100 Vaporeon ?).
Vaporeon used Surf.
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ lost 80% of its health.
kranas's LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ fainted.
---
Killing a Garchomp on your own is more then I could have ever asked for from a Pokemon with your base stats BUFF ME PLZ. RIP.
4-5
kranas switched in Want some candy? (lvl 100 Mr. Mime ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Vaporeon lost 97% of its health.
Vaporeon used Surf.
Want some candy? lost 69% of its health.
---
The Candy Man scores a critical hit, but unfortunately it is not quite enough to take down Vaporeon and he takes a STAB surf quite badly, probably due to no EVs in S.Def. The Mr.Mine here is Choice Scarfed, so he doesn't get any boosts on his special attacks.
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
Vaporeon lost 46% of its health.
maumau85710's Vaporeon fainted.
---
4-4
maumau85710 switched in Armaldo (lvl 100 Armaldo ?).
kranas switched in lol wut? (lvl 100 Croagunk ?).
Armaldo used X-Scissor.
It's not very effective...
lol wut? lost 24% of its health.
---
Not wanting to take critical damage from an the incoming X-scissor, I switch to my giveaway pokemon, Life Orb Croagunk!
lol wut? used Fake Out.
It's not very effective...
Armaldo lost 6% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
Armaldo flinched!
---
@_@;
lol wut? used Protect.
lol wut? protected itself!
Armaldo used Rock Blast.
lol wut? protected itself!
---
maumau85710 switched in Skarmory (lvl 100 Skarmory ?).
lol wut? used Vacuum Wave.
Skarmory lost 18% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
---
maumau85710 perhaps not wanting to waste any time with protect games sends in Skarmory, which of course completely and utterly walls me. Surprised that he has lasted so long nonetheless, I am curious to see how much a resisted Sucker Punch does.
lol wut? used Sucker Punch.
It's not very effective...
Skarmory lost 10% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
Skarmory used Drill Peck.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
lol wut? lost 287% of its health.
kranas's lol wut? fainted.
---
3-4
kranas switched in Want some candy? (lvl 100 Mr. Mime ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
Skarmory lost 103% of its health.
maumau85710's Skarmory fainted.
---
I'm not sure why he didn't want to switch here, the thunderbolt was obvious and Blissey would have taken it like nothing. Then again, there were alot of times he could have switched to Blissey, seeing as my team was almost entirely special based, including the Palkia.
3-3
maumau85710 switched in Armaldo (lvl 100 Armaldo ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
Armaldo lost 39% of its health.
Armaldo used X-Scissor.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Want some candy? lost 354% of its health.
kranas's Want some candy? fainted.
---
I always try to let Palkia go out last if I can, even if it means another pokemon fainting where it didn't necessarily need to, so Want some candy had to go.
2-3
kranas switched in Michael Jackson (lvl 100 Golduck ?).
Michael Jackson used Surf.
It's super effective!
Armaldo lost 115% of its health.
maumau85710's Armaldo fainted.
---
2-2
maumau85710 switched in Blissey (lvl 100 Blissey ?).
Michael Jackson used Attract.
Blissey fell in love!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey used Toxic.
Blissey's attack missed!
---
Seeing Blissey I was close to conceding the game, but with Michael Jackson on the field and an enemy of the opposite sex, MJ could make the fat nurse fall in love with him reducing Blissey's chances of doing much.
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Blissey became drowsy!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
---
And since love and sleep go together well for Michael Jackson, he sends some drugs Blissey's way, sending her to a slow sleep.
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
Blissey fell asleep!
---
Because the only other move I had was Ice Punch, Surf was my best option. I still did not want to bring out Palkia if I could. My only hope was to wear down Blissey until she wakes and then hope that she stays in love until she goes to sleep again without softboiling or attacking.
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is fast asleep!
---
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is fast asleep!
---
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 13% of its health.
Blissey woke up!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
---
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Blissey became drowsy!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
Michael Jackson lost 33% of its health.
kranas's Michael Jackson fainted.
---
Unfortunetly, MJ can't keep the love going, and Bliss bitchslaps him to the grave.
1-2
kranas switched in Godu Phallis (lvl 100 Palkia).
Godu Phallis is exerting its pressure!
Godu Phallis used Aura Sphere.
It's super effective!
Blissey lost 24% of its health.
Godu Phallis lost 10% of its health.
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
Godu Phallis lost 31% of its health.
Blissey fell asleep!
---
I send out my last Pokemon, the REAL evolution of Metapod, Godu Phallis. (I know its spelt Phallus btw) With the drugs wafting Blissey's way, Godu Phallis is ready to take control. Still, Blissey could have Softboiled OR Thunder Waved if she had them...and she didn't
Godu Phallis used Draco Meteor.
Blissey lost 28% of its health.
maumau85710's Blissey fainted.
Godu Phallis's special attack was harshly lowered.
Godu Phallis lost 10% of its health.
---
I go for the Draco Meteor, expecting a switch, though by this point, I felt that my Palkia wasn't going to be able to tough out whatever came last. Unfortunetly a pokemon that will survive any of my moves with ease comes out to finish the match.
1-1
maumau85710 switched in Metagross (lvl 100 Metagross).
Godu Phallis used Protect.
Godu Phallis protected itself!
Metagross used Explosion.
Godu Phallis protected itself!
maumau85710's Metagross fainted.
Curious to see what he will use to spell my demise, I use protect expecting something like Thunder Punch, and instead, his Metagross perhaps seeking to end the match in style explodes!
1-0
kranas wins!
kranas: gg lol
maumau85710: bien jou (Well played)
Unlike me, maumau85710 is mannered in defeat and says nothing more. GG maumau85710! And thanks to all the people who fought me last night on shoddy and didn't leave out of laughter!
Pros (+):
Mr.Mime for killing several of the opponent
Michael Jackson for keeping me in the game
Godu Phallis for his Protect, winning me the game
Metapod for being an awesome starter
Cons (-):
Penis for only getting his Harden off
A lack of strong plays on either side
The original switch into Garchomp with Michael Jackson
Croagunk...as always.
Feel free to flame, comment etc.
All pokemon including Palkia were not given the optimal movesets, Items, EVs or even nature. I just did them how I felt they should be done on the spot.
Anyway without further ado
My (kranas) Team:
Maumau85710:
_____________________________
Rules: Evasion Clause, Extended Game, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Sleep Clause, Timed Battle
_____________________________
kranas sent out Penis (lvl 100 Metapod ?).
maumau85710 sent out Garchomp (lvl 100 Garchomp ?).
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
Penis lost 78% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Penis used Harden.
Penis's defence was raised.
---
I was actually hoping the Garchomp was the SD variety, but my Penis gets off its token harden, needed to unleash string shot. Most leads with a setup that wasn't dragon dance that I had faced would spam their stat ups only to receive a face full of string shot, effectively making their baton pass useless on most pokemon.
I also faced an starter (wtf?) physical Electivire whose attacks soon proved useless to the might of harden. Metapod is of course effectively a trap pokemon as well, because noone ever wants to suffer the embarrassment of switching out on a Metapod. I suggest Gamefreak give Metapod and Kakuna a recover move in future generations for even more cocoon ownage and it could really shine as a lead.
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
A critical hit!
Penis lost 167% of its health.
kranas's Penis fainted.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
---
Unfortunately Garchomp scores the KO, and my Metapod faints. GJ Penis, if only you had gotten in your string shot, your job would have been complete.
5-6
kranas switched in Michael Jackson (lvl 100 Golduck ?).
Garchomp used Earthquake.
Michael Jackson lost 91% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Garchomp became drowsy!
---
I was stupid and forgot Metapods awe factor that prevents switching, and try to yawn Garchomp to get him to switch even though he obviously isn't going to, especially with a possible sweep on the cards. Now Michael Jackson is going to die to basically anything that is faster then it or has a priority move. I could have also Ice Punched instead of yawning since it obviously doesn't have a yache.
kranas switched in LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ (lvl 100 Farfetch'd ?).
Garchomp used Dragon Claw.
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ lost 98% of its health.
Garchomp lost 10% of its health.
Garchomp fell asleep!
---
Farfetch'D had Focus Sash and should have come out after Metapod instead of Golduck.
Garchomp is fast asleep!
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ used Flail.
A critical hit!
Garchomp lost 154% of its health.
maumau85710's Garchomp fainted.
---
Farfetch'D 1
Garchomp 0
5-5
maumau85710 switched in Vaporeon (lvl 100 Vaporeon ?).
Vaporeon used Surf.
LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ lost 80% of its health.
kranas's LOL GAMEFREAK BUFF ME PLZ fainted.
---
Killing a Garchomp on your own is more then I could have ever asked for from a Pokemon with your base stats BUFF ME PLZ. RIP.
4-5
kranas switched in Want some candy? (lvl 100 Mr. Mime ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Vaporeon lost 97% of its health.
Vaporeon used Surf.
Want some candy? lost 69% of its health.
---
The Candy Man scores a critical hit, but unfortunately it is not quite enough to take down Vaporeon and he takes a STAB surf quite badly, probably due to no EVs in S.Def. The Mr.Mine here is Choice Scarfed, so he doesn't get any boosts on his special attacks.
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
Vaporeon lost 46% of its health.
maumau85710's Vaporeon fainted.
---
4-4
maumau85710 switched in Armaldo (lvl 100 Armaldo ?).
kranas switched in lol wut? (lvl 100 Croagunk ?).
Armaldo used X-Scissor.
It's not very effective...
lol wut? lost 24% of its health.
---
Not wanting to take critical damage from an the incoming X-scissor, I switch to my giveaway pokemon, Life Orb Croagunk!
lol wut? used Fake Out.
It's not very effective...
Armaldo lost 6% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
Armaldo flinched!
---
@_@;
lol wut? used Protect.
lol wut? protected itself!
Armaldo used Rock Blast.
lol wut? protected itself!
---
maumau85710 switched in Skarmory (lvl 100 Skarmory ?).
lol wut? used Vacuum Wave.
Skarmory lost 18% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
---
maumau85710 perhaps not wanting to waste any time with protect games sends in Skarmory, which of course completely and utterly walls me. Surprised that he has lasted so long nonetheless, I am curious to see how much a resisted Sucker Punch does.
lol wut? used Sucker Punch.
It's not very effective...
Skarmory lost 10% of its health.
lol wut? lost 10% of its health.
Skarmory used Drill Peck.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
lol wut? lost 287% of its health.
kranas's lol wut? fainted.
---
3-4
kranas switched in Want some candy? (lvl 100 Mr. Mime ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
Skarmory lost 103% of its health.
maumau85710's Skarmory fainted.
---
I'm not sure why he didn't want to switch here, the thunderbolt was obvious and Blissey would have taken it like nothing. Then again, there were alot of times he could have switched to Blissey, seeing as my team was almost entirely special based, including the Palkia.
3-3
maumau85710 switched in Armaldo (lvl 100 Armaldo ?).
Want some candy? used Thunderbolt.
Armaldo lost 39% of its health.
Armaldo used X-Scissor.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Want some candy? lost 354% of its health.
kranas's Want some candy? fainted.
---
I always try to let Palkia go out last if I can, even if it means another pokemon fainting where it didn't necessarily need to, so Want some candy had to go.
2-3
kranas switched in Michael Jackson (lvl 100 Golduck ?).
Michael Jackson used Surf.
It's super effective!
Armaldo lost 115% of its health.
maumau85710's Armaldo fainted.
---
2-2
maumau85710 switched in Blissey (lvl 100 Blissey ?).
Michael Jackson used Attract.
Blissey fell in love!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey used Toxic.
Blissey's attack missed!
---
Seeing Blissey I was close to conceding the game, but with Michael Jackson on the field and an enemy of the opposite sex, MJ could make the fat nurse fall in love with him reducing Blissey's chances of doing much.
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Blissey became drowsy!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
---
And since love and sleep go together well for Michael Jackson, he sends some drugs Blissey's way, sending her to a slow sleep.
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
Blissey fell asleep!
---
Because the only other move I had was Ice Punch, Surf was my best option. I still did not want to bring out Palkia if I could. My only hope was to wear down Blissey until she wakes and then hope that she stays in love until she goes to sleep again without softboiling or attacking.
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is fast asleep!
---
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.
Blissey is fast asleep!
---
Michael Jackson used Surf.
Blissey lost 13% of its health.
Blissey woke up!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey is immobilised by love!
---
Michael Jackson used Yawn.
Blissey became drowsy!
Blissey is in love with foe Michael Jackson!
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
Michael Jackson lost 33% of its health.
kranas's Michael Jackson fainted.
---
Unfortunetly, MJ can't keep the love going, and Bliss bitchslaps him to the grave.
1-2
kranas switched in Godu Phallis (lvl 100 Palkia).
Godu Phallis is exerting its pressure!
Godu Phallis used Aura Sphere.
It's super effective!
Blissey lost 24% of its health.
Godu Phallis lost 10% of its health.
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
Godu Phallis lost 31% of its health.
Blissey fell asleep!
---
I send out my last Pokemon, the REAL evolution of Metapod, Godu Phallis. (I know its spelt Phallus btw) With the drugs wafting Blissey's way, Godu Phallis is ready to take control. Still, Blissey could have Softboiled OR Thunder Waved if she had them...and she didn't
Godu Phallis used Draco Meteor.
Blissey lost 28% of its health.
maumau85710's Blissey fainted.
Godu Phallis's special attack was harshly lowered.
Godu Phallis lost 10% of its health.
---
I go for the Draco Meteor, expecting a switch, though by this point, I felt that my Palkia wasn't going to be able to tough out whatever came last. Unfortunetly a pokemon that will survive any of my moves with ease comes out to finish the match.
1-1
maumau85710 switched in Metagross (lvl 100 Metagross).
Godu Phallis used Protect.
Godu Phallis protected itself!
Metagross used Explosion.
Godu Phallis protected itself!
maumau85710's Metagross fainted.
Curious to see what he will use to spell my demise, I use protect expecting something like Thunder Punch, and instead, his Metagross perhaps seeking to end the match in style explodes!
1-0
kranas wins!
kranas: gg lol
maumau85710: bien jou (Well played)
Unlike me, maumau85710 is mannered in defeat and says nothing more. GG maumau85710! And thanks to all the people who fought me last night on shoddy and didn't leave out of laughter!
Pros (+):
Mr.Mime for killing several of the opponent
Michael Jackson for keeping me in the game
Godu Phallis for his Protect, winning me the game
Metapod for being an awesome starter
Cons (-):
Penis for only getting his Harden off
A lack of strong plays on either side
The original switch into Garchomp with Michael Jackson
Croagunk...as always.
Feel free to flame, comment etc.
