What do you look for in a partner?

For males:

What do you look for in a girl? If you like a girl, how do you get her to like you back, or at least get her attention?

For females:

Although they are rare here, I am sure they exist. Anyway, back to topic, what do you look for in a guy? If you like a guy, how do you get him to like you back, or get his attention?

Me? What I look for in a guy, firstly it's character. He must have moral integrity. That is loyalty, to like me for who I am, and not going to dump me for another girl who is "hotter" etc. Also look for those who are honest but tactful at the same time. I am not one of those girls who base their criteria like: "OMG he's so hot! Look at those six-pack abs!"

Although it would be nice if had those "six-pack" and whatnot. I look more towards character, not physical apperance. You guys? I would like to hear your opinions.
 
First of all, the girl would probably have to be my height or shorter (which is hard, since I'm 5'6). But other than that, I really like girls who have a similar sense of humor as me. In the looks department, I think I tend to find even average looking girls pretty attractive, which is kinda odd I guess. Having blemish free skin is a huge plus.

The thing is, I've been in a relationship for 7 years now, so I probably would have no idea how to let a girl know that I like her anymore if I had to. I used to be pretty good at flirting back in the day though... girls just seem to like attention so that's how I always went about it. Just don't give her so much attention that she'll find you creepy!
 
Not gonna lie, the first thing I notice about girls would be their looks. I'm not that shallow though that I'd prioritize looks above everything else. If a girl were really hot and reciprocated interest but seemed to be self-centered and bitchy, then I'm staying the hell away. I like smart girls who can carry a conversation, as well as those who are funny and can make me laugh with ease. Sporty girls are hot and for some reason I tend to be attracted to girls with just a bit of tomboyish-ness. Oh and I find girls with geeky/nerdy interests to be extremely cute. Basically I like girls who share even some of the same interests as me, since it allows for an easier time connecting/relating to them.

As for getting girls to like me, well let me first say that I'm not someone who believes in "hook ups" so that means no flirting off the bat. Dates are fine but I try to get to know the girl a bit first before asking her out, so I'll know what to expect and there'll be no awkward moments if we don't click. Anyway, I usually try to befriend the girl first and all that shit, and then I rely on my looks/charm/humor to get her to like me. If she doesn't show interest, then at least I've made a new friend, right?
 

alamaster

hello
is a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past SPL Champion
For males:

What do you look for in a girl? If you like a girl, how do you get her to like you back, or at least get her attention?
A pulse.

But seriously, I'm not gonna dance around it; looks are extremely important. If I don't find the girl meeting my physical "requirements" then there's no way I could date her. While that may seem shallow or whatever, it pretty much goes the same for every guy out there. I know what I like and what I want and I won't lead anyone on or anything like that. I don't mind an average looking girl as long as she takes care of herself and makes herself presentable. Nerds are hot too!

Also, they have to be quite intelligent as well, around my intelligence or even above as well. They MUST MUST MUST have a sense of humor, if someone doesn't like/understand my jokes then I'm screwed basically. I like it when people laugh at my antics so if for whatever reason she doesn't then there's no way that could possibly work.

I also like girls that have lives other than me. For example, they have their own friends to hang out with (I don't necessarily hate her having guy friends either, I'm indifferent since I have girls who are friends), decent enough family relationship, and somewhat popular. In other words, signs that give me an indication that she isn't a psycho.

When I like a girl, I try not to make it to obvious. I joke around and ask her questions about herself because everyone enjoys talking about themselves. Flirt for a while and hopefully make a good enough impression that she wants me to ask her out, I do it and then its done. I can usually tell when a girl isn't attracted to me at all so I can back off pretty early. I've also learned through seemingly endless amounts of rejection that asking women out doesn't bother me anymore; if she says no I just keep moving on. The only reasons that I would worry about that is if I work with her (Done this multiple times, don't know how to not make things awkward after the fact) or if I know that I'm not the only guy that likes her and would make things awkward as well.

I'm also going to be moving to an entire new province soon (by myself without family/friends), which is very exciting as well as a little intimidating. I'm going to have to suck it up and remain confident and hopefully I'll be able to form some great relationships there.
 
obviously looks are going to be the first thing most of us notice because that's the first thing we see. i don't have too many specifics on what i look for physically, just so long as she actually takes care of herself and i find her attractive. it's not much of a relationship if you don't enjoy looking at the person you're with.

somebody that likes me for who i am, not my "potential," someone who won't try to change me. yes i play video games. yes i watch anime. yes i know more about star wars than a "normal" person should. you say you think that's cute and you like me for that? ok cool. wait, now why are you yelling at me every time i so much as think about something like that? i'm not expecting someone to share all my interests, but it would be a plus i guess. i just expect someone to understand why i'm interested in the things i am even if she doesn't really "get it." which is fine, i don't understand Sex And The City but i won't stop you from watching it.

confidence, but not to the point of being full of yourself. it's really irritating to hear a girl constantly put herself down, especially to the point of not being able to even take a compliment. if i go out of my way to tell you you're pretty don't argue with me. but being self-absorbed is just as bad. you're not a goddess, i have better things to spend time on than worshiping the ground you walk on just to make you happy.

that being said, i have to be able to enjoy spending time with a girl. not just when we're out, but when we're just sitting around watching TV or something too. the girl i'm interested in now, we had our first date the other night. i took her to my house, and we curled up on the couch and watched the Power Rangers movie. and we loved every minute of it.

when i figure out i like a girl, i won't straight-up tell her but i won't exactly try to hide it. when i flirt i try and joke around a lot, keep her laughing. plus, you know, if i say the wrong thing i can just go back and say i was kidding. i have no idea how to "make" a girl like me other than just being myself and find someone who likes that, so i'll talk to someone until i see signs suggesting whether or not she's interested in me. if she is, great, if she's not, no biggie.
 
i look for hot/pretty girls that are not obnoxious. i am open to many personality types (other than obvious bimbo): i feel that ultimately it is impossible to categorize your "kink" into simple categories such as "being loyal" and "great sense of humour". they can have all these qualities but you don't hit it off because there isn't any of that randomly occurring, totally mysterious chemistry. you can have a friend with all the qualities you like but for some reason are not attracted to sexually... which might say something about the way attraction works (which is to say that it's not according to personal taste).
 
tbh something pretty important for me in a partner is dancing...... if I find myself unable to have that kind of physical/ephemeral chemistry with somebody on the dancefloor, it usually means there will also be a lack of sexual chemistry when we get to the bedroom (or couch, park, bathroom, whatever). I suppose I like girls who are funny, but I am not really picky with that because if somebody cannot make me laugh, then I am usually going to be laughing at them; regardless, laughing is more than enough in the humor department.

My criteria is obviously different when searching for a "long-term" emotional partner rather than somebody that I can chill with/have sex with (i don't know about real one-night stands I have never really had one...). I find that I can kinda be fuck buddies with girls that I definitely know I consider "dumb" in a sense... it doesn't mean they are shitty people I mean I hang out with them a lot but in the end I have a pretty high standard for people I really consider close; so when searching for a real partner I definitely want to be able to talk about things like art and philosophy and people and feel that reciprocated.

edit: I don't "get" a girl to like me back that is ridiculous. I am always very confident/arrogant and honestly I hate to say it but for the most part girls think I am good looking so I have that advantage... when I go out to the club because of the fact that I dance the way I do (sidenote: honestly for all the dudes who believe meeting girls and especially getting girls to approach first is difficult or impossible... dancing is like the best fucking thing you can do! and I don't mean going up behind girls and grinding up on them in hopes that they are into it, I mean stop fucking worrying about the girls and just dance dance dance!) girls kinda flock around and I have to shut them down all the time because I only dance with a girl if she has already impressed me with the dancing and there is that awesome fucking no-strings-attached chemistry. And when it comes to a girl I have feelings for I have never had a problem with approaching her, being honest with my feelings and working from there: earning trust, love, etc.
 

Zystral

めんどくさい、な~
is a Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
I look for a someone who can put up with my shit, frankly. I'm really fussy when it comes to most things, I get really annoyed when things don't go my way, and I tend to burst into screaming when things go from bad to worse.

Someone who'll always be there that I can lean on, and someone who when all is well with the world I can take care of and give the world for a few moments.

I'll be honest - yeah, looks come into it, definitely. Of course, she has to be at a reasonable level if I'm to even approach her, but if I know her and we can put up with each other, then I wouldn't mind going further.

I'll concur - "putting up with each other" is something anybody can do, but I expect this girl to put up with me enough to want to see me day after day, as I would want to see her day after day. Having the odd little disagreement is unavoidable; being able to overcome that and still want to hug each other is what makes it special.

That said, 'putting up with' alone is probably asking for a lot lol. I live and breathe video games and electronics. I listen to my iPod as I go to sleep. I spend unhealthy amounts of time at the computer. But at the same time, I can also be really caring and sweet when I want to. I'd clean regularly, I'd cook almost all the time; maybe on a sunday morning I'll bring you breakfast in bed and play you a song on the piano.

I think towards the future a lot, so when I do look for someone, I try to look for someone who I could spend over a year with and not get bored or fed-up. Someone who can appreciate the bad and take it with the good. Someone cute enough to make my heart skip a beat whenever we dress up to go out.

and then I snap back to reality.
 
The person I would prioritize above everyone needs a good sense of passion, respect, honesty, health, fitness, kindness, drive and humor. They also should practice these virtues.
 

monkfish

what are birds? we just don't know.
is a Community Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnus
depends what you mean by 'partner' but i'll assume you mean in a relationship. obviously there needs to be sexual attraction and ideally she would be smokin hot but thats not an absolute requirement. mostly she should be fun to be around. i have found that with a lot of girls, i get bored of their presence and i would rather be with friends or even by myself. i also like girls to be at least a little intelligent, but not cleverer than me that would be weird.

i feel like every time i have a relationship i discover a new criterion for girls that i hadn't known i had before. for example with my ex i noted that i wanted a girl who enjoyed making friends and being sociable. and with my current girlfriend ive found that i want someone who is independent and has their own life, so that our relationship is simply us enjoying each others' company.
 

McGrrr

Facetious
is a Contributor Alumnus
Some favourable combination of the following:

* Empathetic
* Intelligent
* Self aware
* 6+/10 looks
* Honest
* Loyal
* Pragmatic, but optimistic

Bonus:

* Libertarian
* Good cook
 

Eraddd

One Pixel
is a Community Leader Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Favourable:

Shy
Cute
Intelligent

I'm not into "hot" girls. Like I think they're hot, but I don't think they're my type. Megan Fox is hot, but I just don't think I'd date that kind of girl. I'm more in to the cute side >.>
And I don't make any sense at all

And as for the getting attention: I don't do anything, mainly because I'm too shy to talk to them back LOL.
 

B-Lulz

Now Rusty and Old
is a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Humour is the first and foremost attribute for me. If I find you funny, you'll have a much better chance of making me like you. On the flipside, if I don't find you funny, the chances are I don't think I could hold a serious relationship with you.

Other things I look for are how you act. If you act arrogant it is kind of a turn off because I don't want anyone 'better' per se, more someone that is mine and that I can call my own, and can love if the relationship ever gets to that stage.
 

monkfish

what are birds? we just don't know.
is a Community Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnus
oh i didnt see the second part! yea getting their attention is hella important which is why you ALWAYS gotta look sharp. generally i just try to make a good, confident first impression. confidence is really crucial, if you seem like you can handle yourself socially you will get more attention (or at least she certainly wont be put off by your shyness). a lot of girls say they prefer shy guys but i say strike a fine balance between arrogant, flirty and shy. dont go waving your cock in their face, that is too much, but make sure you make it clear that you are comfortable with their presence.
 
Hm... I suppose my ranking of attributes would be something like this:

1: Personality (including a good sense of humor and drive and a love of life)

2: Intelligence - the more the better. I don't really expect them to match me in intelligence, as I rarely meet people that do. (And I'm not that conceited, I just don't have the time to make this sound better.)


3: Attractiveness - I'm not particularly picky, but I would prefer someone I like to look at. Additionally, I'd want the children to look reasonable.

4: Athleticism - I'm relatively athletic, and would prefer someone who is as well. An enjoyment of playing sports (not watching them) helps a lot.

If I could direct one question at the OP or the community in general, can you see yourself marrying someone who DOESN'T fit one or more of your preferred attributes?
 
An insight into the mind of one of the ugliest men alive:

Despite my own unattractiveness, appearance is a fairly important quality for me. However, I feel like I may have much lower standards than most men, perhaps due to my hideous appearance, and thus find the majority of women at least somewhat attractive. I also do not discriminate between ethnicities, as I find women of all kinds to be good-looking. This means that although I value appearance, I find that most women would satisfy my requirements.

Personality, on the other hand, is a different story. Again, I tend to be fairly forgiving in this department, but I do not appreciate the air-headed kind of girl that is typically protrayed in the media. I generally do not find women with low intelligence attractive, nor do I find self-centered people attractive. I value a sense of humor, as well as kindness/generosity: I feel like I am a kind person myself (perhaps I am mistaken), and want the same in a female. As indicated before, I gravitate towards smarter women, although those of average intelligence have caught my eye before. Another trait that I value extremely highly in both myself and others is honesty and trust. I feel as though this is a quality that many people desire, but few people achieve.
 
What I like most in a girl is an ability to be similar to me, but still act in a female manner. By that I mean that we would have the same taste in Comedy (Seinfeld), while spiting the same bad comedy (Tyler Perry). She also has to be fairly intelligent as it is nearly impossible to have a long-lasting relationship with someone who can't carry on a conversation. She also has to be shorter than me, which isn't too hard, as I'm about average height for a male. Physical attraction is big, but not everything has to be great. As long as I kind find one attractive aspect, I'll usually be fine.

The way I usually attract a girl is by being humorous, in some cases being a total dick, and by later talking to them in a closer manner to let them see my nicer side. Giving lots of attention also helps.
 
I think looks and personality go without saying really, mostly people are attracted to someone they like the look of and then personality becomes the decider in whether you could actually spend any amount of enjoyable time with that person.

Liking the look of someone doesn't necessarily equate that person being stereotypically good looking, everyone has their own quirks and charms. I've been married for 15 years and personally I would say that once you've been with someone for a substantial amount of time what becomes important in your partnership is the ability to work together, to have respect for each other, to let go of petty arguments, to be able to compromise and to be able to make each other laugh :)
 
empathetic, smart (well not like a total moron i mean), witty/makes me laugh. i suppose good looks are a nice "bonus" but it's not really something i seek to find. above all they just have to be a nice person
 
Favorite attributes:

-Always there for me.
-Honesty.
-Likes metal music. (A7X, Slipknot...)
-Fairly attractive.
-Smarter or as smart as me.
-Non-smoker. :)
-Brown or black hair.
-Not too thin but not too fat. (average body)
-Into martial arts.
-Can tell a good joke, and laugh at a good one.
-Makes sneaky, funny comments at everything.
 

Altmer

rid this world of human waste
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
exactly: it should be fun to be around the other person and not feel like an "obligation"

it also helps if you kinda lead her on a little bit to pique her interest, without coming off as completely distant (she'll never attach) or being too clingy (urgh, urgh, and double urgh this was for me in the past because I tend to come off as clingy often, mostly because I don't really do too much with life and just really like being close). you need to make her think and say: "I want you" instead of just throwing yourself into her arms. girls don't like it when you throw yourself into their lap.

It's really imperative that you BALANCE it out because most girls won't like either extreme too much. some lean more towards clingy guys and some less - make sure you find out who likes what and what suits the other person.

to get back to the topic:

- i like clever women that i can have a conversation with because i absolutely hate talking about my interests and having to explain every single concept. this has been a problem in the past, but the last two chicks I was interested in (one of which is my current gf) are both university students and went into physics and medicine. preferably NOT the same discipline, too many common interests hurts.
- looks are nice and I won't fuck a wolf ugly woman but I don't set *too* much store by this one. my current girlfriend is really pretty though. height is always nice physically although for some reason I attract kinda short women. problem because I am twice as tall as most women and tend to have to crane over for kisses
- music lover is a huge plus
- honest
- reliable/trustworthy (nothing worse than a person that you make agreements with and they don't keep them)
- mentally stable. (i had an ex that was kinda mentally unstable) I am fucked up enough to not be able to deal with the mess others leave and am hard enough to be with on my own thanks to my very rational and regimented way of thinking. i need someone that can deal with this.
- being able to speak my lingo is a plus
- i tend to like active women because i am passive and it's a good combo because they balance each other out. another completely passive lady would lead to me getting bored.
 
Altmer, I liked the mention of mental stability. I've met some nice women that seem completely fine to the outside world, but are rather unstable once you get to know them. And sadly it often gets taken out on the significant other.

Oh, and congratulations Ludo on those 15 years.
 

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