Dear Kitten,
You are Theodore Roosevelt.
The 26th, and greatest, President of the United States, you have had an incredible array of occupations and interests. Outdoorsman, writer, police comissioner and the man who made the Panama Canal happen, there is nothing you cannot do.
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Speak softly and find a bigger stick.” Instead of attacking this cycle, you will instead find a bigger stick, permanently increasing your Attack by 1. Your Attack can only go up to a maximum of 5. This action may not be performed on cycle 0.
Because you are as strong a bull moose, “hooker” types roles cannot stop your attack from succeeding.
Because you will shrug off even bullets, any attack directed at you will have its damage reduced by 1. This applies to every attack that is directed at you.
Max HP: 18
Attack: 3
You win if you are alive when Blue Eyes Toon Dragon, L. Ron Hubbard, and Adrian Monk are dead.