Yes guys, this is the warstory of Smogon's FIRST ever Five on Five Basketball Championship. My memory is pretty hazy so if anyone has any details, please tell me and I can update it.
So after loading up on some Taco Smackdown with the group, Huy, Badintent, TDS, and I pull up to the one and only Smogon Arena and we immediately see some familar faces...
Duy aka Tucker the Chucker
Breaks the game more than Prankster Substitute, I must have chucked up more shots by myself than the entire other team...
Huy aka ShaqHuyle O'Neal
Got that low post game, but also like Shaq, cannot really shoot or keep up with the younger kids.
Omari aka Stereotype
Yes, he is black. And yes, he is good at basketball. True ballers wear basketball shorts underneath their jeans, and this man stands true to that.
Simon aka Bronx Bomber
Baller from the Bronx, drops bombs from beyond the arc like no other due to his lack of low post game.
Paul aka White Shadow
A white boy on the outside, a black on the inside with his tenacious D, shadowing everyone on the court. Passes like a white man.
Min aka The Brit
He's British, he only plays football. I never even saw him touch the basketball. Ever.
Tyler aka 16 and Horny
The youngest of the group and true to his nickname. Overall solid Caucasian player with the occasional jumper.
Alan aka The Great White
He dove for every rebound and had a change up game as he could play post and take the jumper.
Chad aka MVP
The champion of ballers, dominates the low post like no other. Pretty sure he dunked over Tyler at one point
Len aka "Varsity"
Varsity high school baller, struggled to score, so it goes to show that the talent at the game was tougher than Dallas HS Bball.
Jose aka Super Ref
A good 6th man, and an even better jump ball throwing arm. He proved well he can throw it up straight and run in jeans at the same time. Can probably handle the ball with his feet like no other.
Scott aka Speed Lightning
This man can run in loafers.
Luke aka Vanilla Pudding
The standard Caucasian player, can take some jumpers, can occasionally rebound, always passes to the black man.
Andrea aka Andrea
Taking photos of the match and cheering everyone on is one of her specialties. Probably has fundamentals.
Kathleen aka Kathleen
Taking photos of the match and cheering everyone on is one of her specialties. Probably has fundamentals.
So we start off by a little warmup, until the champion arrives on the court in which he will dominate so very shortly. We decided that the first pair of captains will be Tyler and Chad. I do not recall how the draft exactly went, but the final teams ended up:
Game 1: Tyler, Duy, Huy, Paul, Luke vs. Chad, Omari, Simon, Alan, Len
Looking at the matchups, it seemed pretty even with Team Tyler having height while Team Len had the black guy. Chad ended up being way too much for us to handle down low and some BS Rim Hax got the better of our team. In the middle of it, we just could not keep up even needing to substitute Jose in for Huy. Omari was a baller, Len was a baller, Simon was a baller, Chad was a monster, and Alan was a baller. Our team stood no chance as we proceeded to be demolished after being unable to rebound or put up points. Game 1 went to Team Len.
After a five minute break to allow us Pokemon nerds to rest, we decide to change teams up. After taking a few hours to make shots for captains, the dust settled and out emerged Paul and Alan as captains.
Game 2: Paul, Duy, Len, Chad, Huy vs. Alan, Tyler, Omari, Simon, Luke.
The game was a lot more balanced since Team Paul picked up MVP Chad. The two best players were now on separate teams. As most of the players stamina began to dimish, Chad and Omari continued to spin circles around the defenders up and down the court like lightning. The power of Alan and Omari were not enough to take down the mighty Chad. Game two went to team Paul. If I recall correctly, this was the game in which Omari sent Len PACKING back to Dallas. Len went red with embarrassment and the crowd went wild. This definitely proved that Smogon basketball is on par with high school varsity basketball.
We took another break as we watched some golfers golf (to the judgment of Smogon golfer Tyler of course) and some organized soccer league arrived (the whistles of their refs would soon interfere with our game at one point). We shot for captains and selected teams. This time, it would be a very close game as Chad and Alan were the captains selected.
Game 3: Chad, Paul, Scott, Supe, Duy Vs. Alan, Omari, Simon, Luke, Len.
The game came down to the wire. Since this would be the last game, we decided that it would be the first to 16. Chad, of course dominated while I continued to be the black hole that I was with my fancy shots (I had to prove that the WNBA is NOT all about fundamentals and could be flashy as well). Scott, to our surprise, was pretty quick even though he was wearing loafers and was the first defender to attempt to stop the fast breaks that killed us in previous games. The game came down to a score of 14-14 as Paul brought the ball down the court while I lurked in the corner behind the line. A quick pass from Paul and I took a shot. I called game.
Nothing.
But.
Net
And boom goes the dynamite. The other team was in shock as I walked calmly off the court, nbd.
The reporter immediately stepped up to me for an interview and asked me my opinions on the series of games. “It was a good game both teams played hard,” I replied.
It was a great day for ball and we were supposed to go balling more times over the weekend but Pokemon took precedence. I definitely cannot wait to ball again with Smogonites!
Some Photos of the Day:
Omari getting ready to hoop it up
Getting ready for tipoff
Len diving for rebounds.
A lot of balls would not even touch the rim
Omari post dunking
Chucking up shots
Alan going up strong
Len looking confused.
Hustling for dat loose ball.
Chad working that low post
Hoopster Paul tries his J against Luke's tenacious D.
Props:
- Great games all around, we can surprisingly ball for Pokemon players.
- All the players that participated. We must do this again sometime
- Omari for doing what he do best
- Chad
- Photographic proof that this actually happened (Thanks AOK and supe)
- Fucking hoopsters
Slops:
- Taco Smackdown prior did not help any of our athletic performances
- Len, you got DENIED
- Missing some players that could have balled such as Blucookies, Cybertron, Fish, PBB, etc.
- BS Rim Hax
- Pretty ghetto park
- Fucking hoopsters.
So after loading up on some Taco Smackdown with the group, Huy, Badintent, TDS, and I pull up to the one and only Smogon Arena and we immediately see some familar faces...
Duy aka Tucker the Chucker
Breaks the game more than Prankster Substitute, I must have chucked up more shots by myself than the entire other team...
Huy aka ShaqHuyle O'Neal
Got that low post game, but also like Shaq, cannot really shoot or keep up with the younger kids.
Omari aka Stereotype
Yes, he is black. And yes, he is good at basketball. True ballers wear basketball shorts underneath their jeans, and this man stands true to that.
Simon aka Bronx Bomber
Baller from the Bronx, drops bombs from beyond the arc like no other due to his lack of low post game.
Paul aka White Shadow
A white boy on the outside, a black on the inside with his tenacious D, shadowing everyone on the court. Passes like a white man.
Min aka The Brit
He's British, he only plays football. I never even saw him touch the basketball. Ever.
Tyler aka 16 and Horny
The youngest of the group and true to his nickname. Overall solid Caucasian player with the occasional jumper.
Alan aka The Great White
He dove for every rebound and had a change up game as he could play post and take the jumper.
Chad aka MVP
The champion of ballers, dominates the low post like no other. Pretty sure he dunked over Tyler at one point
Len aka "Varsity"
Varsity high school baller, struggled to score, so it goes to show that the talent at the game was tougher than Dallas HS Bball.
Jose aka Super Ref
A good 6th man, and an even better jump ball throwing arm. He proved well he can throw it up straight and run in jeans at the same time. Can probably handle the ball with his feet like no other.
Scott aka Speed Lightning
This man can run in loafers.
Luke aka Vanilla Pudding
The standard Caucasian player, can take some jumpers, can occasionally rebound, always passes to the black man.
Andrea aka Andrea
Taking photos of the match and cheering everyone on is one of her specialties. Probably has fundamentals.
Kathleen aka Kathleen
Taking photos of the match and cheering everyone on is one of her specialties. Probably has fundamentals.
So we start off by a little warmup, until the champion arrives on the court in which he will dominate so very shortly. We decided that the first pair of captains will be Tyler and Chad. I do not recall how the draft exactly went, but the final teams ended up:
Game 1: Tyler, Duy, Huy, Paul, Luke vs. Chad, Omari, Simon, Alan, Len
Looking at the matchups, it seemed pretty even with Team Tyler having height while Team Len had the black guy. Chad ended up being way too much for us to handle down low and some BS Rim Hax got the better of our team. In the middle of it, we just could not keep up even needing to substitute Jose in for Huy. Omari was a baller, Len was a baller, Simon was a baller, Chad was a monster, and Alan was a baller. Our team stood no chance as we proceeded to be demolished after being unable to rebound or put up points. Game 1 went to Team Len.
After a five minute break to allow us Pokemon nerds to rest, we decide to change teams up. After taking a few hours to make shots for captains, the dust settled and out emerged Paul and Alan as captains.
Game 2: Paul, Duy, Len, Chad, Huy vs. Alan, Tyler, Omari, Simon, Luke.
The game was a lot more balanced since Team Paul picked up MVP Chad. The two best players were now on separate teams. As most of the players stamina began to dimish, Chad and Omari continued to spin circles around the defenders up and down the court like lightning. The power of Alan and Omari were not enough to take down the mighty Chad. Game two went to team Paul. If I recall correctly, this was the game in which Omari sent Len PACKING back to Dallas. Len went red with embarrassment and the crowd went wild. This definitely proved that Smogon basketball is on par with high school varsity basketball.
We took another break as we watched some golfers golf (to the judgment of Smogon golfer Tyler of course) and some organized soccer league arrived (the whistles of their refs would soon interfere with our game at one point). We shot for captains and selected teams. This time, it would be a very close game as Chad and Alan were the captains selected.
Game 3: Chad, Paul, Scott, Supe, Duy Vs. Alan, Omari, Simon, Luke, Len.
The game came down to the wire. Since this would be the last game, we decided that it would be the first to 16. Chad, of course dominated while I continued to be the black hole that I was with my fancy shots (I had to prove that the WNBA is NOT all about fundamentals and could be flashy as well). Scott, to our surprise, was pretty quick even though he was wearing loafers and was the first defender to attempt to stop the fast breaks that killed us in previous games. The game came down to a score of 14-14 as Paul brought the ball down the court while I lurked in the corner behind the line. A quick pass from Paul and I took a shot. I called game.
Nothing.
But.
Net
And boom goes the dynamite. The other team was in shock as I walked calmly off the court, nbd.
The reporter immediately stepped up to me for an interview and asked me my opinions on the series of games. “It was a good game both teams played hard,” I replied.
It was a great day for ball and we were supposed to go balling more times over the weekend but Pokemon took precedence. I definitely cannot wait to ball again with Smogonites!
Some Photos of the Day:
Omari getting ready to hoop it up
Getting ready for tipoff
Len diving for rebounds.
A lot of balls would not even touch the rim
Omari post dunking
Chucking up shots
Alan going up strong
Len looking confused.
Hustling for dat loose ball.
Chad working that low post
Hoopster Paul tries his J against Luke's tenacious D.
Props:
- Great games all around, we can surprisingly ball for Pokemon players.
- All the players that participated. We must do this again sometime
- Omari for doing what he do best
- Chad
- Photographic proof that this actually happened (Thanks AOK and supe)
- Fucking hoopsters
Slops:
- Taco Smackdown prior did not help any of our athletic performances
- Len, you got DENIED
- Missing some players that could have balled such as Blucookies, Cybertron, Fish, PBB, etc.
- BS Rim Hax
- Pretty ghetto park
- Fucking hoopsters.
