-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2023 Smog Awards!
Advice Please Smogon- Girlfriends Parents Are Nuts.
- Thread starter MegaBuddha
- Start date
I guess not. Only if she's in eminent danger which she isn't since my family basically provides for her now.
dude, I am really sorry to hear that... They should not be able to get away with that... it's just wrong.
What would happen if your family offered to act as "foster parents" until she turned 18? This situation would make less work for CPS to do, and could be a temporary solution until your GF turns 18. Since it's only 5 months away, I don't see this as a terribly unreasonable option. If her parents are as nuts as you say they are, the toughest part of it would be finding enough time to gather her things and transport them out of the house, without the parents noticing. If she started packing her shit early in preparation for leaving, her parents would notice, so she'd have to try to cram it all into a day. I dunno, it's pretty hairy.
On the subject of the law, you guys need to remember that even though CPS and similar agencies side with the child initially, if the case goes to court the child still needs some sort of physical evidence to ultimately prove her case. Without this, no official charges can be brought to the parents, and the parents can get the court to give them back their child.
To be perfectly honest, I think what you and your girlfriend need to do most is to take a step back and plan to ride out the next 5 months until she can get out of there. As the sig. other, you need to be physically and emotionally supportive to her. She's undoubtedly going to run into more shit before she moves out, which you need to be there for her for.
However, I'm spacing this paragraph apart from the previous to put emphasis on it. You must NOT, under ANY circumstances, physically involve yourself in the situation. Ever. Though you may feel it is the right and noble thing to do at the time, you are just causing her damage in the long run. Your girlfriend should do her best to just avoid any potential points of conflict, and keep to herself for 5 months. Though this may limit the time you get to see her a bit, I think if you love her this should be well within your willpower to do. I went through (and am still going through) a situation with my fiance's father that demanded I maintain a similar position, so I know how it feels.
I know it's hard to stay out of it, but it is the best thing for you both. Just keep your eyes on the prize. 5 more months of Hell and then it'll all be over for good. No more controlling parents, no more stress, no more heartache. 5 months. Keep that in mind and I know you guys will make it.
On the subject of the law, you guys need to remember that even though CPS and similar agencies side with the child initially, if the case goes to court the child still needs some sort of physical evidence to ultimately prove her case. Without this, no official charges can be brought to the parents, and the parents can get the court to give them back their child.
To be perfectly honest, I think what you and your girlfriend need to do most is to take a step back and plan to ride out the next 5 months until she can get out of there. As the sig. other, you need to be physically and emotionally supportive to her. She's undoubtedly going to run into more shit before she moves out, which you need to be there for her for.
However, I'm spacing this paragraph apart from the previous to put emphasis on it. You must NOT, under ANY circumstances, physically involve yourself in the situation. Ever. Though you may feel it is the right and noble thing to do at the time, you are just causing her damage in the long run. Your girlfriend should do her best to just avoid any potential points of conflict, and keep to herself for 5 months. Though this may limit the time you get to see her a bit, I think if you love her this should be well within your willpower to do. I went through (and am still going through) a situation with my fiance's father that demanded I maintain a similar position, so I know how it feels.
I know it's hard to stay out of it, but it is the best thing for you both. Just keep your eyes on the prize. 5 more months of Hell and then it'll all be over for good. No more controlling parents, no more stress, no more heartache. 5 months. Keep that in mind and I know you guys will make it.
I'm really sorry to hear about this. It shocks me to see how her parents act and etc.
Like the previous guy said try to get your parents to act as foster parents for the time being. It's worth a shot.
I wish you the best of luck, January will come soon enough. Persevere. :)
I'll be praying for you.
-Terywj
Like the previous guy said try to get your parents to act as foster parents for the time being. It's worth a shot.
I wish you the best of luck, January will come soon enough. Persevere. :)
I'll be praying for you.
-Terywj
for her to gain foster parents, either the CPS would have to remove her from her home, or her parents would have to give the okay (by either telling the CPS as such or putting her in an orphanage). the CPS will not remove her until a full check is done, which will take months and is useless in this case.
in other words, she isn't going anywhere without her parents say so.
Today Brittneys parents decided we can't see eachother until she's 18. She's grounded until then.
Seeing her at school just isn't going to cut it. I'm going to just go to their church. I know her parents will hate that.
Guess thats the end of this. Theres nothing she can do. Go live with a foster family in god knows where or deal with this and at least see me moderately through the week.
Fuck her parents. I'm now at war against them. Things will happen.
Today she left my house for the last time in 5 months balling her eyes out. I could hear her all the way down the street.
Saddest shit ever.
Brittney's really trying to convince me to have a baby to get out of the situation. Not sure that would solve anything...
Oh and for the record we went to see another officer today. He basically thought she was making the entire thing up and told her the only thing that could happen was her going to a foster family or deal with it. And not family. He said she has no say in where she goes. He talked her out of it by basically telling her it would be someone forever away where she wouldn't ever see anyone again.
EDIT: Okay, not everything. But he thought the paying for her own food and shit was a tall tale.
He believed the abuse. And from then he just talked her out of it.
Seeing her at school just isn't going to cut it. I'm going to just go to their church. I know her parents will hate that.
Guess thats the end of this. Theres nothing she can do. Go live with a foster family in god knows where or deal with this and at least see me moderately through the week.
Fuck her parents. I'm now at war against them. Things will happen.
Today she left my house for the last time in 5 months balling her eyes out. I could hear her all the way down the street.
Saddest shit ever.
Brittney's really trying to convince me to have a baby to get out of the situation. Not sure that would solve anything...
Oh and for the record we went to see another officer today. He basically thought she was making the entire thing up and told her the only thing that could happen was her going to a foster family or deal with it. And not family. He said she has no say in where she goes. He talked her out of it by basically telling her it would be someone forever away where she wouldn't ever see anyone again.
EDIT: Okay, not everything. But he thought the paying for her own food and shit was a tall tale.
He believed the abuse. And from then he just talked her out of it.
This isn't right man... You live in Ohio, correct? I want to look up the laws for your state and see what I can do to help. If anything, I might be able to find a clause where she can CHOOSE where she lives or something, since she's been living in others care before.
Also, don't have a baby. It's a LONG term commitment to a very short term problem.
Also, don't have a baby. It's a LONG term commitment to a very short term problem.
Yes.. Allen County Lima Ohio.
I've looked and can't find anything to use.. But maybe you can.
I've looked and can't find anything to use.. But maybe you can.
I'll do some searches and what not. Hopefully I can turn something up. I really hate listening to stuff like this. Hope I can help in anyway I can.
If she's 17, but you are both out of high school, she might be emancipated... I.E. if she was a senior this year and graduated, but is still 17, she could be legally emancipated.
After 18 she can move herself out legally, am I correct?
If yes, then the only think you can do is wait it out =/ 5 months... wow. If this happens, then good luck, and strength my bro.
If I read this thread wrong, and she cannot move out when she's 18, and is under her parent's guard, then you're going to have to take this to court, and provide evidence. Her testimony alone doesn't qualify. She needs to provide evidence that she wasn't granted access to the vital things in life (clothes, food) and if what you said was true, that she has to buy her own stuff, then that can be used as evidence (just produce some kind of physical evidence).
If yes, then the only think you can do is wait it out =/ 5 months... wow. If this happens, then good luck, and strength my bro.
If I read this thread wrong, and she cannot move out when she's 18, and is under her parent's guard, then you're going to have to take this to court, and provide evidence. Her testimony alone doesn't qualify. She needs to provide evidence that she wasn't granted access to the vital things in life (clothes, food) and if what you said was true, that she has to buy her own stuff, then that can be used as evidence (just produce some kind of physical evidence).
I'm sorry.
Really, I am.
This is really bullshit.
I hope you and your girlfriend will make it out of this ordeal safely.
Here's an idea, though: If you say she's kinda popular, why not get some of her friends (3-5 minimum, safety in numbers) to help pack everything up one day and just take it to your house?
Really, I am.
This is really bullshit.
I hope you and your girlfriend will make it out of this ordeal safely.
Here's an idea, though: If you say she's kinda popular, why not get some of her friends (3-5 minimum, safety in numbers) to help pack everything up one day and just take it to your house?
DO NOT HAVE A BABY. DO NOT.
It will not help the situation at all because,
1. You'll have to pay for the child and support it. You're what? 17? 18? And she's 17 and pretty much cut off from her parents financially, so this would cause more stress not relieve it.
2. It would be really hard to support a family on a high school education. I'm not saying you're stupid, It's just that it is almost impossible to get a good job without a Collage degree of some kind.
3. A baby won't get you out of "this situation." It will just create another one and probably make the current one worse. Think about it, this will be over in 5 months, a pregnancy lasts 9 months, and that child will be there for the rest of your life.
4.Once again, your only in high school. You're not that experienced and, no offense, probably would not make the best parents, despite you're good intentions.
Enjoy your life, enjoy your love. Support your GF through this traumatizing time. Don't have a baby, it won't solve anything, and you'll regret it later.
It will not help the situation at all because,
1. You'll have to pay for the child and support it. You're what? 17? 18? And she's 17 and pretty much cut off from her parents financially, so this would cause more stress not relieve it.
2. It would be really hard to support a family on a high school education. I'm not saying you're stupid, It's just that it is almost impossible to get a good job without a Collage degree of some kind.
3. A baby won't get you out of "this situation." It will just create another one and probably make the current one worse. Think about it, this will be over in 5 months, a pregnancy lasts 9 months, and that child will be there for the rest of your life.
4.Once again, your only in high school. You're not that experienced and, no offense, probably would not make the best parents, despite you're good intentions.
Enjoy your life, enjoy your love. Support your GF through this traumatizing time. Don't have a baby, it won't solve anything, and you'll regret it later.
Raj
CAP Playtesting Expert
I hate to say lol in such a serious topic, but LOL @ having a baby... when your girlfriend can leave in 5 months and pregnancy is 9 months there'd be no point because she'd already be out.
Terribly sorry about you and her's situation. Break one of the windows to the house (and don't get caught!).
Terribly sorry about you and her's situation. Break one of the windows to the house (and don't get caught!).
i don't know what else to say (aside from "definitely")
this isn't the sort of post i'd make in congregation usually but i have kept tabs on this thread for a while and i just really feel for you. i think you know as well as we do that having a baby isn't the solution, so i won't get on at you about that, i just want you to know that i mean it when i say my heart goes out to the both of you. this is screwed up. i hope you can stick it through.
I feel really bad for you. I can't imagine what she's going through, her parents are real asswipes.
Although this is tragic, I'm going to enforce what others have said. Do not have a baby. Excessive drinking is a solution to a short term problem (for depression, sadness etc), but in the long term is an awful idea. The same goes for this. Your parents should definately attempt to foster her, I'm having thoughts in my head about how awful Brittany's parents are.
This is such bullshit, I hope those 5 months go easy on you.
Although this is tragic, I'm going to enforce what others have said. Do not have a baby. Excessive drinking is a solution to a short term problem (for depression, sadness etc), but in the long term is an awful idea. The same goes for this. Your parents should definately attempt to foster her, I'm having thoughts in my head about how awful Brittany's parents are.
This is such bullshit, I hope those 5 months go easy on you.
So today broke it all..
Britt came over today at 7 am because she had to leave her house of course. So she parked her car in a being built neighboorhood 2 minutes down the street from me. I picked her up. We came here. We had the best time.. I held her.. We did all the cute silly stuff wed always do. Then, tried to get pregenant again.
We were making breakfast before she had to leave for work when the bell rang. It was the same cop from the other night. My gpa answered the door.. And had brittney come out. The officer yelled and everything.. Then took brittney away.
They came back with her parents. They denyd everything. The cop took their side all the way saying its too farfetched. My dad stuck up for brittney. The dad went on and on denying everything. The cop even told my dad watc your expressions, I'm as cop and I know when someone is lieng.
Brittney came out of the car to talk too. She said how crazy the mom was. the dad acted like it was irrelevent saying she's getting help. Did you know she sees a counselor? No you don't because yoou don't care about anything but yourself.
The cop just kept backing the parents up flat out telling brittney she's lying. My dad said if you can't take the time to hear both sides you need to find someone elsde who can.the cop says well if child services find anything ill admit I'm wrong. Which of course they won't because at this point how can she prove that they were denying her food or anythingggg?
Then they just kept talking saying brittneys going to be taken out of apallo and go to shawnee so she can't see me at school since I'm the problem.
Brittney is of course freaking out. The cops can't do anything to her parents and now she's done for. Her dad has her look my dad in the eyes and say she's not lying. She does and tells my dad she loves him and gives him a hug. Then she says chad I feel like you guys are my family way more than my own. Her dad looks very pissed off.
After its all done she gets to say goodbye. She tells me logan we have to have a baby its the only way so they can't keep us apart. She hugs me crying begging me please don't leave me. I say of course I'm not..
Then they ask for her things and I give them a shirt or two but that's it. They ask for her cell phone. Fuck no I bought it. They say fine brittney can pay the 175 to cancel it.
She leaves.then I get a call from her work phone. She's balling hysterically. Her parents admit in the car they werre lieng but said it "just wasn't the right time" to admit it. Brittneys losing her car. Any money she's payed on it is just a loss. Shell be put on probation. And she won't go to school with me. She basically won't see me. Ever. Or talk to me. When she goes to court as an unruley child her parents are surely going to make me out to be the problem. How???? He said to my dad he doesn't like me because I'm helping brittney be a jullinquent. How have I prior to I soppose that morning?
They're only taking her from me for one reason. Because with me she doesn't need them. Because with me she doesn't depend on them and have to deal with being in a nuthouse.I'm taking their daughter. I'm everything they arnt. She loves me. And they know she won't ever talk to them again once she's out of that house.
Brittney basically wants us to try to get pregenant every day before school. Hoping that will get her out of that house to at least see me.
I hate them. Idk what to do.
I've been laying here this last hour and a half crying.
Britt came over today at 7 am because she had to leave her house of course. So she parked her car in a being built neighboorhood 2 minutes down the street from me. I picked her up. We came here. We had the best time.. I held her.. We did all the cute silly stuff wed always do. Then, tried to get pregenant again.
We were making breakfast before she had to leave for work when the bell rang. It was the same cop from the other night. My gpa answered the door.. And had brittney come out. The officer yelled and everything.. Then took brittney away.
They came back with her parents. They denyd everything. The cop took their side all the way saying its too farfetched. My dad stuck up for brittney. The dad went on and on denying everything. The cop even told my dad watc your expressions, I'm as cop and I know when someone is lieng.
Brittney came out of the car to talk too. She said how crazy the mom was. the dad acted like it was irrelevent saying she's getting help. Did you know she sees a counselor? No you don't because yoou don't care about anything but yourself.
The cop just kept backing the parents up flat out telling brittney she's lying. My dad said if you can't take the time to hear both sides you need to find someone elsde who can.the cop says well if child services find anything ill admit I'm wrong. Which of course they won't because at this point how can she prove that they were denying her food or anythingggg?
Then they just kept talking saying brittneys going to be taken out of apallo and go to shawnee so she can't see me at school since I'm the problem.
Brittney is of course freaking out. The cops can't do anything to her parents and now she's done for. Her dad has her look my dad in the eyes and say she's not lying. She does and tells my dad she loves him and gives him a hug. Then she says chad I feel like you guys are my family way more than my own. Her dad looks very pissed off.
After its all done she gets to say goodbye. She tells me logan we have to have a baby its the only way so they can't keep us apart. She hugs me crying begging me please don't leave me. I say of course I'm not..
Then they ask for her things and I give them a shirt or two but that's it. They ask for her cell phone. Fuck no I bought it. They say fine brittney can pay the 175 to cancel it.
She leaves.then I get a call from her work phone. She's balling hysterically. Her parents admit in the car they werre lieng but said it "just wasn't the right time" to admit it. Brittneys losing her car. Any money she's payed on it is just a loss. Shell be put on probation. And she won't go to school with me. She basically won't see me. Ever. Or talk to me. When she goes to court as an unruley child her parents are surely going to make me out to be the problem. How???? He said to my dad he doesn't like me because I'm helping brittney be a jullinquent. How have I prior to I soppose that morning?
They're only taking her from me for one reason. Because with me she doesn't need them. Because with me she doesn't depend on them and have to deal with being in a nuthouse.I'm taking their daughter. I'm everything they arnt. She loves me. And they know she won't ever talk to them again once she's out of that house.
Brittney basically wants us to try to get pregenant every day before school. Hoping that will get her out of that house to at least see me.
I hate them. Idk what to do.
I've been laying here this last hour and a half crying.
So the parents basically lied. Holy shit.
Don't get pregnant. That's one big thing I'll tell you. It'll mess up your life and it might not even get her out of the house.
In court, the judge hopefully won't be biased. Make sure you take your stand and tell them all of it. Review every shit that's happened and make sure it's tear jerking. If you can, go see a lawyer and see what you can do. There's definitely a law that says you can't pull this kind of siht.
Don't get pregnant. That's one big thing I'll tell you. It'll mess up your life and it might not even get her out of the house.
In court, the judge hopefully won't be biased. Make sure you take your stand and tell them all of it. Review every shit that's happened and make sure it's tear jerking. If you can, go see a lawyer and see what you can do. There's definitely a law that says you can't pull this kind of siht.
Jesus Christ, dude... this is just fucking insane. All the officers in Lima must be giant douchebags.
They can't get away with this shit. When you're in court, tell everything. Get a lawyer if you can. Hopefully, they won't be like the police and will hear and believe her side.
Also, and I know I'm repeating a bunch of people here, but DO NOT HAVE A BABY. She turns 18 in five months, getting pregnant won't help there. And, you will have to provide for a child on a low income. You need to convince Brittney that having a baby is not the way out - if anything, it's the path of least resistance.
Other than that, I really have nothing to offer, bro. Best of luck to you both!
They can't get away with this shit. When you're in court, tell everything. Get a lawyer if you can. Hopefully, they won't be like the police and will hear and believe her side.
Also, and I know I'm repeating a bunch of people here, but DO NOT HAVE A BABY. She turns 18 in five months, getting pregnant won't help there. And, you will have to provide for a child on a low income. You need to convince Brittney that having a baby is not the way out - if anything, it's the path of least resistance.
Other than that, I really have nothing to offer, bro. Best of luck to you both!
Dear god that's horrible...what kind of a cop does that...and then the parents tell her they were lying...that's just fucked up.
I cannot imagine the pain you and her are felling but please, please, please, don't have a baby, it will not help. At all.
I cannot imagine the pain you and her are felling but please, please, please, don't have a baby, it will not help. At all.
Holy **** on a sandwich...they can't do that, the parents are fucking scumbags, like some have said, try getting your parents to adopt her, or if it really is like a last resort, go to the cops senior officer and complain about it, bring your parents or they'll think your some random kid having a joke, hopefully you can get something sorted...I hope things get better for you. GL.
Wow, I'm really sorry about that situation. I really would entertain calling child protection services or the police right now to report abuse. Easier said than done in the way of actually accomplishing something, but it's worth giving it a shot.
Apparently they CAN get away with that shit, at least for the time being. I also hate to say that sharing her story in court will not work if she cannot present any evidence. Her word is not enough, she needs proof that she simply does not have from what I understand. However, she could still consult a lawyer to see what other legal options she has.
To the op: Yes, do not have a baby. Your girlfriend turns 18 in 5 months? Wait it out if you must. Tell her to think of her long-term happiness, not her short-term happiness. A baby *might* help her situation, but it will cause problems for her later in life if it turns out that the two of you are not ready for parenthood. You two should not just jump into parenthood. Do you think that you two would be able to care for a baby right now? Do you want to care for a baby right now?