Real Life Warstory: Mystery Hispanic Lady

[phoopes]

All right call me crazy, because this thing actually is driving me crazy.

Sunday: I get a call on my cell phone from an unknown phone number. I answer, and a Hispanic woman with a very heavy accent is on the other end of the line. I tell her she has the wrong number, she apologizes and hangs up. Innocent enough, right? Oh no, ladies and gentlemen of Smogon forums, this is only the beginning of a journey that has pushed me to the brink of insanity.

Monday: Similar situation as the day before. The woman calls me, I tell her she has the wrong number, and she apologizes.

Tuesday: The same number that called me the day before now texts me. The message reads, "Iraida." I text back, again telling her that she has the wrong number. I get another message that says, "Iraida." Finally, one last message tells me that she is sorry about texting the wrong number. I'm a bit annoyed, but I don't really think anything of it.

Wednesday: The woman calls me again. I miss the call, but when I see it, I text her again, saying that she had the wrong number. The reply? "Iraida."

Thursday: Shit hit the fucking fan right here. Mid-afternoon, she calls me THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
First time: "Ma'am, you have the wrong number again." "I'm sorry."
Second time: "Wrong number again." "I'm sorry."
Third time: "Please, stop calling me. You have the wrong number." "I'm sorry.

Here are some Skype chat logs from this day:

[8/22/2013 4:55:48 PM] phoopes: okay holy fuck
[8/22/2013 4:56:00 PM] phoopes: four days ago, a number calls me, I answer. "wrong number"
[8/22/2013 4:56:20 PM] phoopes: three days ago, it calls me. "wrong number"
[8/22/2013 4:56:30 PM] phoopes: two days ago, it texts me, I reply, "wrong number again"
[8/22/2013 4:56:31 PM] MackTheKnife: it turns out to be your exs ex
[8/22/2013 4:56:41 PM] phoopes: yesterday, calls me. "wrong number"
[8/22/2013 4:56:47 PM] phoopes: Today, calls me. "wrong number"
[8/22/2013 4:56:50 PM] phoopes: what the fuck
[8/22/2013 4:56:54 PM] MackTheKnife: maybe you know the bloody guy
[8/22/2013 4:57:01 PM] phoopes: And no, it's a Hispanic lady with a heavy accent
[8/22/2013 4:57:12 PM] phoopes: FUCK
[8/22/2013 4:57:15 PM] MackTheKnife: well then tell her for the 5th time this is the wrong number
[8/22/2013 4:57:15 PM] phoopes: CALLING ME AGAIN
[8/22/2013 4:57:17 PM] phoopes: RIGHT NOW (outside edit: moment of the second call)
[8/22/2013 4:57:20 PM] MackTheKnife: and for her to fuck off
[8/22/2013 4:57:34 PM] phoopes: FUCK
[8/22/2013 4:57:36 PM] MackTheKnife: ask who she is looking for
[8/22/2013 4:57:49 PM] phoopes: I can't understand her besides, "sorry"
[8/22/2013 4:57:56 PM] phoopes: like I said, very thick accent
[8/22/2013 4:58:02 PM] MackTheKnife: maybe shes dyslexic
[8/22/2013 4:58:14 PM] Will Orchard: or stupid
[8/22/2013 4:58:16 PM] phoopes: Well she better stop being dyslexic
[8/22/2013 5:00:13 PM] phoopes: HOLY
[8/22/2013 5:00:14 PM] phoopes: FUCKING
[8/22/2013 5:00:15 PM] phoopes: SHIT (outside edit: moment of the third call)
[8/22/2013 5:00:33 PM] Will Orchard: hloy fckunig siht
[8/22/2013 5:00:43 PM] MackTheKnife: why are you so annoying this could be a golden opportunity for a laugh
[8/22/2013 5:00:48 PM] phoopes: Swear to god
[8/22/2013 5:01:11 PM] MackTheKnife: 2 years ago i was called from a wrong number and the guy started shouting at me statistics about his company
[8/22/2013 5:01:19 PM] MackTheKnife: assuming i was his friend or colleague
[8/22/2013 5:01:39 PM] MackTheKnife: and i was just there like "mhm" "yeah i know" "okay"
[8/22/2013 5:01:43 PM] MackTheKnife: it was hilarious
[8/22/2013 5:01:54 PM] phoopes: The only other time I've gotten this many calls was an April Fool's Day prank
[8/22/2013 5:02:02 PM] phoopes: A friend fake listed my house on Craigslist
[8/22/2013 5:02:14 PM] phoopes: That was a bitch to fix
[8/22/2013 5:02:40 PM] MackTheKnife: loooool
[8/22/2013 5:02:46 PM] MackTheKnife: in europe we dont use craigslist
[8/22/2013 5:02:50 PM] MackTheKnife: its such a foreign concept
[8/22/2013 5:03:03 PM] phoopes: It's a foreign concept to me and I'm American, haha
[8/22/2013 5:03:14 PM] MackTheKnife: well yeah fair enough

At this point I bring up the Craigslist happening from a while ago, where a friend of mine listed my house and I got tons of calls. I was suspicious that somebody was screwing with me. I confront the same friend about it, thinking he may have gotten a new phone number or something, but it wasn't him. I really don't know anyone who would go to the trouble of posing as a Hispanic woman to screw with me, so I figured it was just the same dumb person again and again. I was just planning on dealing with it, figured it had stopped after I was clearly exasperated with her over the phone the last time.

Later that night (more Skype logs):

[8/22/2013 9:58:06 PM] phoopes: That bitch from earlier
[8/22/2013 9:58:10 PM] phoopes: is calling me again
[8/22/2013 9:58:14 PM] phoopes: Fuck it, just ignoring it for now
[8/22/2013 9:58:19 PM] imanalt (Chris): is she hot
[8/22/2013 9:58:20 PM] phoopes: Her problem, whatever it is
[8/22/2013 9:58:22 PM] imanalt (Chris): give me her number
[8/22/2013 9:58:24 PM] imanalt (Chris): then shell be busy talking to me
[8/22/2013 9:58:26 PM] phoopes: lol
[8/22/2013 9:58:31 PM] imanalt (Chris): instead of calling you
[8/22/2013 9:58:31 PM] imanalt (Chris): win/win imo
[8/22/2013 9:58:35 PM] phoopes: It's some Hispanic lady with the wrong number
[8/22/2013 9:58:36 PM] imanalt (Chris): oh bs
[8/22/2013 9:58:41 PM] phoopes: very heavy accent
[8/22/2013 9:58:41 PM] imanalt (Chris): tell her she can go fuck herself
[8/22/2013 9:59:07 PM] phoopes: I don't know how in her native tongue
[8/22/2013 9:59:11 PM] phoopes: nor do I care to find out how

At this point, I was about 200% done with her shit, but I wanted to avoid conflict as much as possible so I just let it slide, hoping she'd realize on her own that she called the same number again. And I was sort of right, she didn't call me again... On purpose. The following is a series of angry tweets that I made later that night. (I said seven in the first tweet, but yes, it was only six. I didn't care to count at that point.)

Skype log:

[12:42:46 AM] phoopes: Fucking mystery Hispanic lady woke me up
[12:42:49 AM] phoopes: Buttdialed me twice
[12:42:53 AM] phoopes: left me two voicemails
[12:42:55 AM] phoopes: FUCK
[12:43:09 AM] phoopes: ;_;

Not going to lie, I was crying like a little bitch at one in the morning because she woke me up. But is that the end of my tale? Oh no, it gets better.

Today: I get a text message from MHL. It reads "Iraida." By this point I had looked up "Iraida" but I couldn't really connect it other than it's a semi-common female name somewhere in the world. So, I decided to take things into my own hands. I called her. Paraphrasing here:

"Look, you've called and texted me many times over the last few days. Whoever you're looking to reach, it's not me. Now please, just leave me alone."

Her response?

"You have wrong number."

Mystery Hispanic Lady 1-0 phoopes

G fuckin G.

 

[UltiMario]

Never seen such a one sided match in my life

That wasn't a 1-0 that was like a 6-0

 

[ShootingStarmie]

"[8/22/2013 9:58:19 PM] imanalt (Chris): is she hot"

typical altnub

 

[mattj]

no no
you have wrong nombre

 

[Cresselia~~]

Wait, then either she's pranking you or she's really stupid.
Because she could check the message dialogue on her phone, right? And the text messages you've sent should be grouped together.

Try completely ignoring her.

If you have time to spare, do a recording message, and intentionally ignore her calls, so that she can hear the voice message in English.

If you have already done that, it means that she would have heard the message before, and that her actions were intentional.

 

[Every1XplodeNOW]

This might be a stupid question, but have you tried blocking her number?

 

[Mack the Knife]

What the hell?? I never sent you any PMs... Also, hah I'm not entirely european, I'm half american. This thread is a lie!

 

[phoopes]

jynx: The voicemails were buttdials. She didn't actually try to call me those times. And I ignored those two calls plus the one before that. Maybe her cell phone is old? The one I had years ago didn't group text messages together, but she should have been able to see the call log... I have no idea.

Diverman: I looked into it and I'd have to call AT&T to block the number and I really don't want to go to all that effort since AT&T customer support from my experience has been poor at best.

Mack: Nah, the "MackTheKnife" you see in the Skype logs is a guy from Pokemon Lab. /throwbackThursday

 

[Grey Knight]

According to google Irida is used as a female name in Russian speaking countries .
Something tells me that this woman is more desperate than you.

 

[Mack the Knife]

Ah, for once I thought I was the only guy with that username. It's not a lie I guess. Sorry.

 

[Cresselia~~]

jynx: The voicemails were buttdials. She didn't actually try to call me those times. And I ignored those two calls plus the one before that. Maybe her cell phone is old? The one I had years ago didn't group text messages together, but she should have been able to see the call log... I have no idea.
y

Oh... I'm so sorry for not taking that old phone possibility into account...
Well, I guess you can try pressing the red button directly when you see it's her number, instead of only ignoring it.

However, I take it that you are assuming that she's completely innocent?
I'm not saying that I'm sure about it, but if I were you, I would go for the "play safe" option.

The other thing is, she had been using English, right?
I think it means that the person she wants to find is an English speaker.
If I were you, I would answer "Iraida?" and see if she tells me a lot of information about herself.
I don't necessarily recommend doing that, but I personally would do that. I just personally would like to scout on what exactly is going on.
If she finds out I'm an imposer, I'll just shout right into her ears that she had been irritating, annoying and very stupid. (AND that I had never mentioned that I was the person she was finding. She was the one who told somebody about her name anyway.) Whatever her situation is, I don't have to show any mercy.

 

[coolbiz]

good laugh man, thanks, to many times that has happened to me but with a stupid american who can perfectly understand me but still insists call.

 

[Soul Fly]

This match is a perfect Example why Keldeo should be banned.

 

[X5Dragon]

This is enough to make anyone quit competitive phone pranking, sorry phoobes :/

 

[Stallion]

no no
you have wrong nombre

Was just about to post the following

Now I feel slow and upstaged.

 

[KnightoftheWind]

My mobile phone number had two previous owners. Needless to say I get way too many wrong numbers. One particular funny moment went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Some Guy: Who the hell are you? Put Bianca on.
Me: I'm sorry, but you called the wro-
Some Guy: I said put Bianca on!
Me: Mate, you have-
Some Guy: PUT BIANCA ON!
Me: *hangs up*

Yeah, I might've ruined Bianca's relationship. Speaking of Bianca, I have a series of texts from one of her friends.

???: Bee bee
???: I need your help !!
???: I need you to be a model for a leg wax lol I need practice
???: At my house n cause you know how to do it sort of double bonus

Messing with this chick was so tempting.

 

[Mack the Knife]

Some number from Texas keeps on calling me. I want to answer and tell him to stop but im lazy so i just decline.

 

[PK Gaming]

Iraida

 

[destinyunknown]

Did she call again after your message?

 

[phoopes]

Did she call again after your message?

Update: Mystery Hispanic Lady has stopped calling me. However, I've now gotten six calls and two voicemails from a different number with a different Hispanic woman still asking for Iraida. I've dubbed her Mystical Hispanic Lady. This strikes me as weird because I looked it up and Iraida is a Russian name, but I have Spanish speakers asking for her. I'm not nearly as salty about it this time though, because I've already accepted defeat. I don't know why Latin America is targeting USA East though, if they want retribution they should be picking on Asia for knocking them out in WCoP.