Unfathomably based
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Social LGBTQIA+
- Thread starter dhelmise
- Start date
exactly my thought process
i have been lurking this board for longer than some of y'all have... been alive i think? and i just wanted to say that this thread even existing when i was a gay 16yo wanting to find out why people liked skarmory and blissey so much would be almost unthinkable. this thread makes me happy and i wish a lot of love to all of you
skarmbliss is wlw/mlm solidarity <3
Hey guys I’m just looking for some advice and stuff rn
I would consider myself to be a lesbian. I love women, pretty much always have, and I can’t imagine dating a man as a woman.
However that’s the biggest part that is confusing me right now, I feel like I would love to be a man dating another man. Like I want to be a guy spoon feeding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie into my boyfriends mouth. But I wouldn’t consider myself to be bisexual because the thought of doing the same and being a woman makes me want to gag, but if I image myself as a man it actually seems pretty nice. If that even makes any sense?
Maybe it’s because I’m a little more butch or something or sometimes forget I’m a woman? It’s not like I’m uncomfortable being a woman or anything, it’s a fact that I’m fine with and I love being openly lesbian.
I think I’m probably just weird or something but I wanted to post here to see if anyone relates or understands.
I would consider myself to be a lesbian. I love women, pretty much always have, and I can’t imagine dating a man as a woman.
However that’s the biggest part that is confusing me right now, I feel like I would love to be a man dating another man. Like I want to be a guy spoon feeding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie into my boyfriends mouth. But I wouldn’t consider myself to be bisexual because the thought of doing the same and being a woman makes me want to gag, but if I image myself as a man it actually seems pretty nice. If that even makes any sense?
Maybe it’s because I’m a little more butch or something or sometimes forget I’m a woman? It’s not like I’m uncomfortable being a woman or anything, it’s a fact that I’m fine with and I love being openly lesbian.
I think I’m probably just weird or something but I wanted to post here to see if anyone relates or understands.
Nah you aren’t weird I talk abt this all the time w/ ppl, consider being genderfluid maybe
u can be a woman and a man at the same time if u want. its rly up to u
lowk i just asked my mom for ideas and she came up w/ kathryn and it stuck
I just wanted to say that it is fine having these thoughts and still being a lesbian, there is nothing bad about that.
I have heard from quite a few lesbians that they like yaoi art or mangas or that they loved reading or writing mlm fanfics.
It could be, as the others said, genderfluid related, so you can explore that if you want.
However, if you feel happy being a lesbian and being a butch woman, then I would not feel bad about having these thoughts.
yoyoyo so for asexual visibility week I wanted to share a website that personally helped me a ton. the asexuality visibility and education network (AVEN) contains resources for if you're friends or family with someone who's ace, dating someone who's ace, are questioning whether you're on the asexuality spectrum or not, or if you're already ace and just struggling. for me personally, I knew I was ace when I found this website, but I felt weird about if I was "ace enough" among other things and this website helped me a lot with putting that mini identity dilemma to rest. and maybe it can help some of you guys too! or it could help someone you know. it's super useful and they have a forum too which, while I personally don't use it, has helped a sizable number of people. give it a visit here: https://www.asexuality.org/
fuck yeah bitch own that shit
TW: Abuse/Suicide
Gender is such a weird thing for me. I had this debate since 2012 but no matter how much I try to live my life as a normal cis bisexual girl, but it does not sit well with me. I know I tried to be a trans guy online before i quitting Pokemon from the timeline of 2019-2022 but I was largely unhappy with myself and was really mentally unstable and depressed. I attempted suicide many times but I did not die, I think back to those horrible times and I think it was a cry for help and attention. Thankfully I have not attempted to take my life for a full two years now. My parents are not there for me mentally and would disown me for being trans hence why I was only a trans guy online. With no one to turn to during my darkest time in my life I destroyed many of my Smogon friendships, connections during that time and did ruin my reputation on this website because of my off the rails behavior and being well...insane. During my time away from Pokemon, I did a lot of self reflection to get myself under control and get help which I am in a lot better headspace now. I also thought a lot about why I wanted to be a trans guy and thought I was forcing myself to be one to run away from trauma that happened to me in my life; which is something I do not want to go into detail but it was cases of mental abuse, sexual assault/abuse and as a child was used by an adult man online for sexual pleasure. I do firmly believe I am a trans man as I never see a woman in the mirror, I hate my body, voice, and being called she/her. In social settings I see myself as a guy despite being dressed and referred to as female, dating is super awkward since sex is something I would probably never do again in my lifetime and I am looking for a lifetime romantic companion rather than getting married and having/adopting children. I realize this path will lead to me having to cut off my family which is ok with me because they are anti lgbt controlling and mentally abusive. I am trying to take the steps to move out before my 28th birthday next year to start the process to transition irl. Is it wrong for me to be a trans guy I dunno, but it is what I am. I showed signs of it all throughout high school+,I always picked male characters in game, I tried to dress as less feminine as possible and wore a binder at work only for a long while. I do not feel like a girl ever, wearing dresses, being called she/her, my first dead birth name, my chest and body in general gives me dysphoria. I am sorry to the people I lied to since I came back to smogon about being a girl, because that is not true and it was me lying to myself and what I truly am. I am Zero, a trans guy and am proud of it.
Gender is such a weird thing for me. I had this debate since 2012 but no matter how much I try to live my life as a normal cis bisexual girl, but it does not sit well with me. I know I tried to be a trans guy online before i quitting Pokemon from the timeline of 2019-2022 but I was largely unhappy with myself and was really mentally unstable and depressed. I attempted suicide many times but I did not die, I think back to those horrible times and I think it was a cry for help and attention. Thankfully I have not attempted to take my life for a full two years now. My parents are not there for me mentally and would disown me for being trans hence why I was only a trans guy online. With no one to turn to during my darkest time in my life I destroyed many of my Smogon friendships, connections during that time and did ruin my reputation on this website because of my off the rails behavior and being well...insane. During my time away from Pokemon, I did a lot of self reflection to get myself under control and get help which I am in a lot better headspace now. I also thought a lot about why I wanted to be a trans guy and thought I was forcing myself to be one to run away from trauma that happened to me in my life; which is something I do not want to go into detail but it was cases of mental abuse, sexual assault/abuse and as a child was used by an adult man online for sexual pleasure. I do firmly believe I am a trans man as I never see a woman in the mirror, I hate my body, voice, and being called she/her. In social settings I see myself as a guy despite being dressed and referred to as female, dating is super awkward since sex is something I would probably never do again in my lifetime and I am looking for a lifetime romantic companion rather than getting married and having/adopting children. I realize this path will lead to me having to cut off my family which is ok with me because they are anti lgbt controlling and mentally abusive. I am trying to take the steps to move out before my 28th birthday next year to start the process to transition irl. Is it wrong for me to be a trans guy I dunno, but it is what I am. I showed signs of it all throughout high school+,I always picked male characters in game, I tried to dress as less feminine as possible and wore a binder at work only for a long while. I do not feel like a girl ever, wearing dresses, being called she/her, my first dead birth name, my chest and body in general gives me dysphoria. I am sorry to the people I lied to since I came back to smogon about being a girl, because that is not true and it was me lying to myself and what I truly am. I am Zero, a trans guy and am proud of it.
I'm a lesbian.
Well, that was unexpected. You can just stop reading here if you want to avoid the emotiony bits.
I have been queer for as long as I have been anything more than just a little kid. It's been close to nine years since the first time I started thinking I was different. At the time, for a preteen without a lot of exposure to queerness or understanding of language that might have helped me, the word I used was gay. To be honest, I had little conception of what attraction actually felt like, but I was certain I wasn't like other boys my age, and this made some amount of sense. I started there as many trans women do, and as a result, I haven't ever really had a time in my life where I imagined I might not be attracted to men. For a while now though, or really over the past ten months since ditching the asexual label, where I've... learned the difference between what I like Conceptually and what I like in Reality, I've leaned heavily towards women, and gone back and forth with calling myself a lesbian even while claiming that I was still bisexual and continuing to pursue casual relationships with men and just sort of been a generally disastrous trainwreck without ever stopping to introspect a bit on what all I was doing, and how I really felt. Oops.
So I slowed down a bit. And turns out! real shocker to everyone who knows me! I'm gay. and I'm still not amazingly proud of it actually, but it feels important to approach it honestly. I have realized that for the longest time now I have been indulging what is, at its core, something that I believe is safe to call a very problematic form of compulsory heterosexuality. It has been almost impossible for me to conceive of the idea that I can be a woman, a trans woman, without being at least somewhat sexually attracted to men, and I've made poor decisions to try to Make that true, and that absolutely needs to Stop. Moreover, I find it hard to shake the shame of being both transsexual and a lesbian in a world where nowadays at best, it is stereotyped in increasingly bizarre ways, and at worst it is villainized and demonized in the same ways it always has been. I get uncomfortable with the jokes that are often made, even by other well-meaning queers, about trans women who are lesbians -- I get uncomfortable with many of the ways of viewing or talking about women that have become associated particularly in online spheres with the combination of those two identities. I do not see myself at all in that growing culture of stereotyping, that changing conception of what these words mean, and that lumping together of trans identity and sexuality into one, and I think it's going to kind of suck to have to try to carve a path through that I fear. But it's time to face up and be honest: I'm really not that big on men looking at me, I've got better things to do, and acting otherwise is not the Safe Option, it's harmful and it's even dangerous.
I think now's the part where I'm supposed to have some snappy little joke, but really, I got nothing good... At the end of the day, I'm just a woman, a feminist, and unsurprisingly now, a lesbian. Ready to live life to the fullest and with honesty. I'm nearly 22 years old, and the world is my oyster. You know what I mean?
so i’m pretty much a nobody on this site but it still felt important for me to post this. if u haven't noticed i’ve deleted all my posts from this thread, as well as some others. a lot has changed in my life recently and i no longer consider myself to be a part of this community. as such i will no longer be posting in this thread after this. i know this will earn me enemies but it would feel dishonest and disingenuous not to say anything. i hold no ill will toward anyone in this thread and i am grateful for the interactions i’ve had with you great and supportive people, but i’m just not one of you, and quite frankly, i’m beginning to doubt if i ever was. thank you for reading, and, i love you <3.
I don’t know why anyone of us would get mad at you for realizing that you’re not lgbtqia+ when we’ve gone through something similar just in reverse, I understand that it’s not the same but please don’t feel like you have done something wrong when you really haven’t. I’m not very good at comforting people but I hope this helps :(
sadly i get the impression she is quite evil re: foreign policy so not the biggest of wins.
So, with the aftermath of the election, things are not really looking good for LGBTQ folks.
We still don't know if Trump will have the house by his side, but if project 2025 has anything to say about his plans, antidiscrimination laws for LGBTQ people will be fought to be removed, the loss of workplace protections, HRT and any other healthcare for trans folks would no longer be available through Medicare and Medicaid, and schools will likely be FORCED to use birth assigned pronouns and inform parents of students transitioning.
Basically, it's extremely, extremely scary. And there's nothing we can do about it anymore. Unless Harris can pull 300k votes out of her ass in Pennsylvania and Michigan, Trump will win. And that's not the mention the senate has been long lost with Casey, Brown, and Tester all being defeated, Allred and Osborn not winning, and it not seeming good for Jacky Rosen atm either. (edit: Rosen has likely won in Nevada! Gallego also seems like he will win in Arizona. Casey may have a shot still as theres very few ballots left to count in Penn but the race is very tight so far.)
I know its scary to be queer at the moment. I'm terrified for my fucking life myself and I live in a blue state, so I can't even imagine how people living elsewhere feel, but I think its important to remember that we must not just stand down and we got to continue fighting. We can't give into the fear and despair of this outcome, because thats what the right wants. That's what they want us to do. Queer people have to simply keep up their fight and not back down.
Lastly, I highly recommended that to any transfem who does not live in a safe state I 100% recommend looking into potential DIY options if you have not already. It's unknown if trans healthcare will still be accessible, so please be informed of your options in case things go to shit.
Queer folks have gone through decades of total dehumanization from the outside world trying to just fight for equality. This may seem bad atm, but we can fight back. We will fight back, and we will get back up again. Stay safe, be informed, survive.
Godspeed everyone. Stay safe out there.
We still don't know if Trump will have the house by his side, but if project 2025 has anything to say about his plans, antidiscrimination laws for LGBTQ people will be fought to be removed, the loss of workplace protections, HRT and any other healthcare for trans folks would no longer be available through Medicare and Medicaid, and schools will likely be FORCED to use birth assigned pronouns and inform parents of students transitioning.
Basically, it's extremely, extremely scary. And there's nothing we can do about it anymore. Unless Harris can pull 300k votes out of her ass in Pennsylvania and Michigan, Trump will win. And that's not the mention the senate has been long lost with Casey, Brown, and Tester all being defeated, Allred and Osborn not winning, and it not seeming good for Jacky Rosen atm either. (edit: Rosen has likely won in Nevada! Gallego also seems like he will win in Arizona. Casey may have a shot still as theres very few ballots left to count in Penn but the race is very tight so far.)
I know its scary to be queer at the moment. I'm terrified for my fucking life myself and I live in a blue state, so I can't even imagine how people living elsewhere feel, but I think its important to remember that we must not just stand down and we got to continue fighting. We can't give into the fear and despair of this outcome, because thats what the right wants. That's what they want us to do. Queer people have to simply keep up their fight and not back down.
Lastly, I highly recommended that to any transfem who does not live in a safe state I 100% recommend looking into potential DIY options if you have not already. It's unknown if trans healthcare will still be accessible, so please be informed of your options in case things go to shit.
Queer folks have gone through decades of total dehumanization from the outside world trying to just fight for equality. This may seem bad atm, but we can fight back. We will fight back, and we will get back up again. Stay safe, be informed, survive.
Godspeed everyone. Stay safe out there.
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I can't wait until four years later...
So I can drink to numb the pain.
In all seriousness, as part of a minority that I don't think is being targeted by project 2025 (autistic), and 2 minorities I don't think most people even know exist (aromantic and agender, especially the latter), I am making it out of this relatively well. But I know a lot of people who would be vulnerable to discrimination because of this. The good news is that I don't think he will come back for a third term, as even if he managed to be able to run a third time, him coming back would surely cause even many of his supporters to riot in the streets. The bad news is I am not sure if we can survive four more years of Trump. Even as someone not targeted by the policies, I am very concerned for my life. For one, taxes will increase on the middle class. But far worse than that is the potential that four more years of Trump could have on the climate crisis. This madman could very well make the planet itself uninhabitable. But for now, we just have to wait and hope he gets cocky and does something so incredibly stupid that he is removed from office.
So I can drink to numb the pain.
In all seriousness, as part of a minority that I don't think is being targeted by project 2025 (autistic), and 2 minorities I don't think most people even know exist (aromantic and agender, especially the latter), I am making it out of this relatively well. But I know a lot of people who would be vulnerable to discrimination because of this. The good news is that I don't think he will come back for a third term, as even if he managed to be able to run a third time, him coming back would surely cause even many of his supporters to riot in the streets. The bad news is I am not sure if we can survive four more years of Trump. Even as someone not targeted by the policies, I am very concerned for my life. For one, taxes will increase on the middle class. But far worse than that is the potential that four more years of Trump could have on the climate crisis. This madman could very well make the planet itself uninhabitable. But for now, we just have to wait and hope he gets cocky and does something so incredibly stupid that he is removed from office.
I am going to wade in to the stress of it all right now, because the amount of (understandable! No judgment!) doomering I am seeing in my communities is difficult to idly watch. I want something here that is firmly rooted in the positive, in what we Can do, for eyes feeling hopeless. I am going to do an absolute classic of online queer spaces actually: I am 21 years old and I am telling all you “kids” who are scared right now to breathe and calm down.
I promise to do my best to leave the tongue in cheek comments there.
Alright, I’ll admit, I’m pretty shaken up. I never imagined in my worst scenarios what played out Tuesday night for the United States, the wide ranging support for nominally fascist policies is horrifying on every level. In my own home town, which is a very small rural community, we’re all pretty disturbed by how things went even at an alarmingly small scale level. Absolutely without a doubt things are going to get harder from here, it’s an unfortunate reality that we now have to face. For trans people especially this is the nightmare scenario, and I know I’m anxiously staring down the barrel of what’s to come, wondering how to get through it.
There is nuance to all of this, though. Things are going to get harder now, but they already were getting harder, with the bulk of anti-trans legislation across the country being passed in the past four years. We have always faced challenges in waves, and we have always survived as a community. We have survived across centuries of complete social ostracization. We have survived the twenties, thirties and forties. We have survived the eighties. We have survived the first Trump administration, and we will survive the next one and what comes after it. You cannot tamp out a fire with boot heels that keeps burning under the surface of the ground - it will always resurge and burn like it did before, or brighter.
Right now we have unique dangers but we also have unique opportunities to come together as a community to protect and support one another. We survive not because governments and politicians legislate our ability to, we survive in spite of their unwillingness to. Now more than ever we need to be fostering positive relationships with those around us, seeking to support those who need it, and making plans for the next years to come. The common refrain in times of stress like this is “I don’t know what’s going to happen.” The next part of that statement now needs to be “but I know what I’m going to do.” Build your bridges, create your community resources, band with others to do the same, and be ready to face what needs to be faced together rather than alone. Ask people what they need. Ask yourself what you need. Let this be a motivator rather than a reason to abandon hope.
And that goes most of all for younger queers. There are a lot of genuine queer children on this website, as well as people younger than me in the sense they’ve only found themselves or come out more recently. There is a LOT of that in the real world too. I think that it is far too easy right now to feel deeply scared, to wonder if you should continue on this path or if you’ll be able to, and my answer to that is Please. Please don’t let this unfortunate moment hold you back from a lifetime. It will be hard but now more than ever you should fight for the life you want. The rest of us will be there to pull you up.
So forget “how are we going to get through four years” and instead ask “what are we going to do Tomorrow.” Instead ask “what do I need to get through this, and what can I do to help others do the same.” 2028’s politicians won’t save us - a bunch of dirty scrappy trans women and queers of all kinds will. Always have.
These are not empty platitudes. If any trans woman needs support or assistance, particularly in understanding and managing HRT, and also learning various means of accessing it, please contact me. Right now that is what I can do.
I promise to do my best to leave the tongue in cheek comments there.
Alright, I’ll admit, I’m pretty shaken up. I never imagined in my worst scenarios what played out Tuesday night for the United States, the wide ranging support for nominally fascist policies is horrifying on every level. In my own home town, which is a very small rural community, we’re all pretty disturbed by how things went even at an alarmingly small scale level. Absolutely without a doubt things are going to get harder from here, it’s an unfortunate reality that we now have to face. For trans people especially this is the nightmare scenario, and I know I’m anxiously staring down the barrel of what’s to come, wondering how to get through it.
There is nuance to all of this, though. Things are going to get harder now, but they already were getting harder, with the bulk of anti-trans legislation across the country being passed in the past four years. We have always faced challenges in waves, and we have always survived as a community. We have survived across centuries of complete social ostracization. We have survived the twenties, thirties and forties. We have survived the eighties. We have survived the first Trump administration, and we will survive the next one and what comes after it. You cannot tamp out a fire with boot heels that keeps burning under the surface of the ground - it will always resurge and burn like it did before, or brighter.
Right now we have unique dangers but we also have unique opportunities to come together as a community to protect and support one another. We survive not because governments and politicians legislate our ability to, we survive in spite of their unwillingness to. Now more than ever we need to be fostering positive relationships with those around us, seeking to support those who need it, and making plans for the next years to come. The common refrain in times of stress like this is “I don’t know what’s going to happen.” The next part of that statement now needs to be “but I know what I’m going to do.” Build your bridges, create your community resources, band with others to do the same, and be ready to face what needs to be faced together rather than alone. Ask people what they need. Ask yourself what you need. Let this be a motivator rather than a reason to abandon hope.
And that goes most of all for younger queers. There are a lot of genuine queer children on this website, as well as people younger than me in the sense they’ve only found themselves or come out more recently. There is a LOT of that in the real world too. I think that it is far too easy right now to feel deeply scared, to wonder if you should continue on this path or if you’ll be able to, and my answer to that is Please. Please don’t let this unfortunate moment hold you back from a lifetime. It will be hard but now more than ever you should fight for the life you want. The rest of us will be there to pull you up.
So forget “how are we going to get through four years” and instead ask “what are we going to do Tomorrow.” Instead ask “what do I need to get through this, and what can I do to help others do the same.” 2028’s politicians won’t save us - a bunch of dirty scrappy trans women and queers of all kinds will. Always have.
These are not empty platitudes. If any trans woman needs support or assistance, particularly in understanding and managing HRT, and also learning various means of accessing it, please contact me. Right now that is what I can do.
THE ONE PIECE! THE ONE PIECE IS REALLLLL