Thoughts on adulthood

McGrrr

Facetious
is a Contributor Alumnus
I'M AT WORK AND THIS TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO TYPE LOL

ITT: observations and first world problems from my experiences of life in the real world after graduating from Smogon University.

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Adults are big kids


The people that I work with on a day to day basis represent a cross section of the modern middle class; cosmopolitan, educated, and respectable. Yet behind the veneer of professionalism, they have their petty squabbles and power struggles, bitch about each other, are easily influenced by peer pressure, and worry about trivial things.
We still play with toys, only the toys are different and usually more expensive, and the opposite sex remains a conundrum to many. Bodily fluids, vulgarity, and flatulence are still amusing to most, while alcohol might just be the elixir that allows people to act their true mental age.

Everything is bullshit

Increasingly, I am lead to believe that the only thing separating adults from say... a teenager is the ability to switch on the bullshit machine. Accordingly, the more senior the colleague or client employee, the better honed their bullshit ability appears to be. This is a necessity because the corporate world is drowning in bullshit. Doing anything nowadays involves compliance with excessive red tape and regulation that keep people like me employed at great opportunity cost to the wider economy. As my line manager succinctly (and ironically) puts it, “business is a massive arse covering exercise”.

”Is this it?”

I imagine most people will have an “is this it?” moment early into their adulthood. At some juncture, you will likely step on to the metaphorical treadmill and begin the 40+ year run towards nowhere in particular, or if you are a protein bore, this may prove literal. If by sheer good fortune, you find stimulating employment that you genuinely love; congratulations, you are the 1% and I envy you. The reality is that almost nobody is satisfied with their job. The particulars will vary between individuals, but there exists infinity and one reasons why this is the case.

What to do then? A friend once asked me “what was the last thing to make you smile?” She then told me to do more of it. Ultimately, this is it. I reject popular notions of what happiness looks like and I know not what I want out of life, nor do I know where I am going, but I do know the little things that will make my journey tolerable and often times enjoyable. Obviously, this is no ground-breaking insight, but it is something that is easily forgotten. Simple pleasures keep me gently ticking over; for example, it is a good day if I hear one memorable anecdote.

"Passion"

We all recognise as nonsense the vacuous spiel that professionals spout from shows like the Apprentice (how do I become “dynamic”?). However, the trivialisation of legitimately meaningful words deserves more coverage. The most obvious example is the commercialisation and dilution of whatever “love” is supposed to mean. But it is the word “passion” that has been getting on my tits. Apparently, it is no longer adequate to simply “like” something. No, you are required to be passionate about it.

I remember when I was looking for jobs in 2009 and a relatively common question during preliminary interviews and on application forms was “what are you passionate about?” Umm… nothing really… I mean I enjoy cricket, I play Pokemon… a lot, and I eat at too many fancy restaurants, but none of this constitutes a passion.

The flippant throwaway usage of “passion” is most evident on CVs (resumes). If and when I become an employer, I am going to highlight the word and ask the candidate to explain during the interview what makes their interest a passion. If you own a high spec digital camera and can talk enthusiastically about the intricacies of taking the perfect photograph, you get a pass. However, if your passion consists of having a camera phone and uploading hundreds of gratuitous pictures to Facebook each week, then I am sorry, but I might just stand up and point at you while exclaiming “BULLSHIT!”

TL;DR don’t worry about growing up, because adults are just children with more expensive toys and bigger shoes; learn to bullshit before you graduate; disregard the aspirations that society tells you will make you happy and do more of what you know will make you happy; and don’t use the word “passion” on your CV unless it is legitimate.
 
Feels like copypasta, but i'll pretend it did take an hour while working to type this. So what's the pont of the thread? To tell us stuff we already know but don't have the time to rant about?
 
I don't know if this is intended to be a discussion or if I'm allowed to offer thoughts on what you've posted, but I guess I'll be attempting that anyway

I'm less concerned with the validity of your observations of your environment. They all sound pretty reasonable. Your coworkers sound like regular people. Your job sounds like the average soul-sucking job

I'm a little more compelled to respond to your attitude. Specifically the following sequence:

The reality is that almost nobody is satisfied with their job.
Sure. I'll get on board with this

What to do then? A friend once asked me “what was the last thing to make you smile?” She then told me to do more of it. Ultimately, this is it. I reject popular notions of what happiness looks like and I know not what I want out of life, nor do I know where I am going, but I do know the little things that will make my journey tolerable and often times enjoyable. Obviously, this is no ground-breaking insight, but it is something that is easily forgotten. Simple pleasures keep me gently ticking over; for example, it is a good day if I hear one memorable anecdote.

But now you've lost me. What kind of a solution is this?

"Ultimately, this is it" sounds like the calling card of a defeaist. You're not happy, so that's it, we're done here? You're just going to take it? You cared enough about your unhappiness to sink an hour of your workday into posting about it here. Or maybe you've got some ulterior motivation I can't decipher

But assuming you do care about your happiness, why wouldn't you want to change your living situation? If you think you'd be happier elsewhere, go visit elsewhere. You're probably right. Break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Get a new job. Move somewhere else. Surround yourself with different kinds of people

My two cents on adulthood is this: you are responsible for your own happiness. You're allowed to be unhappy, and trade happiness away for money or security or whatever else. But if you care enough about your happiness to complain about it publicly, I take that as a sign that you do not understand how things work

I feel like maybe I'm misreading you because you finish with
disregard the aspirations that society tells you will make you happy and do more of what you know will make you happy
which makes it sound like you know what's up. But why would you be so moved to post something if you really believed this? Is your post supposed to lift someone out out of their chair and lead them to question their own lives? If it is, I'm not really understanding this cynical tone you've got going on

Also,
I reject popular notions of what happiness looks like and I know not what I want out of life, nor do I know where I am going
I don't know about you but I don't see this as a negative. If I woke up one morning and decided I didn't know what I wanted out of life (or, to a lesser extent, where I was going) I'd be pretty ecstatic to have my new life mission so spelled out for me: answering that stuff

Forgive me if I completely missed what you were after here. But please help me out if I'm reading you correctly
 
c9b735e23ba8386bd7ee58bc632362a3.jpg

I know it's horribly cliche but if you have any doubt about what you're doing with your life, you're probably not going to be satisfied with it at all. This is an age old concept that nobody is eager to accept.
 
what's the point of this post? to tell us stuff we already knew but didn't have time to rant about?

hahaha ZING

also i'm going to respond to this when it isn't super late, assuming this thread is supposed to be a discussion?? as a jeremiad its ok but i hope that wasnt the sole intent
 
I agree that a great majority of people are caught up in this "treadmill" you speak of, but I also don't think it's that uncommon for people to enjoy or be moderately satisfied with their job. Even disregarding that, jobs are there for us to earn money to live on. Jobs are not intended to be what we truly enjoy, they are just a means to acquire resources so we can do more of the things we enjoy in our free time. Also, referring to the end of the treadmill as "nowhere in particular" might be how you see it, but a great many people look forward to retirement and have lots of plans for what to do and how to enjoy it. The problem is that most people aren't savvy enough to manage their earnings properly and save for retirement, so they get stuck working another 20 years instead of being able to actually do those things they planned. If you save properly (which isn't all that hard to do, actually), there's no reason why you can't do just about anything you want to do when you retire. In addition, job satisfaction really depends on your expectations to begin with. Since most people have unrealistic expectations and want every job to be their "dream" job, of course they'll never be satisfied. The trick is to find something you can tolerate that really fits with your natural talents, and then use the resources you earn to fund a pursuit that you get real enjoyment out of. That in itself should provide you the "satisfaction" you need from your job, since it makes your hobby possible.

Other than that, I agree with the rest of your post about adults being big kids and the corporate world being immersed in BS.
 
Is this post a joke? to make an already interesting thread more interesting than it already is?

Calm down, my post wasn't that good.

Since WB is the only one taking this seriously, i'll respond to him. I actually kind of agree with the "going nowhere" thing. I mean, unless you make more money than normal it will require you to work up to 70 at least. And that does include the responsible folks(money-wise). Then your old as dirt and are very limited in what you can do. Really, there is nothing to look foward to. It's what is happening everyday that is important/fun.
 
some hero if you post in a serious thread again with something obnoxious, I am going to ban you for a week
 
RANT'd (and possibly incoherent):

I am a big kid, a responsible...big...nah that doesn't make sense. I just don't believe age stereotypes, and the first section just sounds like you just reached enlightment that adulthood doesn't mean people use their life experience to act any better.

tldr; People are dumb, persons are smart, the more you remind yourself of this tidbit the better you are off.

Eveything is bullshit, but the alternative is just as costly, you can shove your right way down everyones throat but at the cost of constant paranoia and added security measures and expenses (and bribes), or you can just let everyone try to do their things their own way and then bullshit. I'm not sure I'm taking about governments are your direct responsibilities but I don't see the difference.

Jobs for the most part sucks, you graduate, get a job and then start wondering why did you spend five years on a degree you'll never use. The 99% of people will be divided into 50% I'm making a living and woooo, 40% it could be worse I could be begging for half bottles and the 10% who use their current misery to buy themselves a better future. That could be saving up for another trade, business or holding it up to retirement. If you are not among the 1% you should be among the 10%, otherwise just work and play like the 50%.

*mic gets cut off
 
some hero if you post in a serious thread again with something obnoxious, I am going to ban you for a week

Which post was obnoxious exactly? The one above yours or the other one? Because in both i am one of the few in this thread ACTUALLY talking about the OP. And to be honest obnoxious is subjective.

Anyways, but this:

Eveything is bullshit, but the alternative is just as costly, you can shove your right way down everyones throat but at the cost of constant paranoia and added security measures and expenses (and bribes), or you can just let everyone try to do their things their own way and then bullshit. I'm not sure I'm taking about governments are your direct responsibilities but I don't see the difference.

Makes no sense. Who exactly are you talking about? Normal people do not go around shoving their morals or way of lives into others' throats. The people who do that are just a minority. Though i'm now wondering if your talking about government and what is right/wrong.
 
I'M AT WORK AND THIS TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO TYPE LOL

ITT: observations and first world problems from my experiences of life in the real world after graduating from Smogon University.

Aight.

Adults are big kids

The people that I work with on a day to day basis represent a cross section of the modern middle class; cosmopolitan, educated, and respectable. Yet behind the veneer of professionalism, they have their petty squabbles and power struggles, bitch about each other, are easily influenced by peer pressure, and worry about trivial things.
We still play with toys, only the toys are different and usually more expensive, and the opposite sex remains a conundrum to many. Bodily fluids, vulgarity, and flatulence are still amusing to most, while alcohol might just be the elixir that allows people to act their true mental age.

The sub heading here is fantastically trite, you should have gone with the other disillusioned 20-something year old classic: People never change. Ask yourself a couple questions here:

1. Do the people you work with actually represent a cross-section of anything, or do you just think they do?

I'm sure the people you work with are *just* like people in other places, but if you don't like where you are, move. There are always different types of people in different places. You must be held partially accountable for your situation. All those people may be deriving some oh-so trivial happiness out of their existences, if you are not then do something.

2. Why characterize their (and here I humor you) *obsessions* through the metaphor of play?

You claim this and that is juvenile and vulgar, but really all it sounds like to me is that you're judging other people for what makes them happy. Is that the person you want to be? Yeah it might be petty and trivial, but it might be more fun to live with these little worries and vices that make life a bit more interesting to live. Is that so bad? Here you and I type on a website dedicated to a video game meant for children, what does that say about us? Does it say anything at all?

Everything is bullshit

Increasingly, I am lead to believe that the only thing separating adults from say... a teenager is the ability to switch on the bullshit machine. Accordingly, the more senior the colleague or client employee, the better honed their bullshit ability appears to be. This is a necessity because the corporate world is drowning in bullshit. Doing anything nowadays involves compliance with excessive red tape and regulation that keep people like me employed at great opportunity cost to the wider economy. As my line manager succinctly (and ironically) puts it, “business is a massive arse covering exercise”.

#libertarian you mad?

"Passion"

We all recognise as nonsense the vacuous spiel that professionals spout from shows like the Apprentice (how do I become “dynamic”?). However, the trivialisation of legitimately meaningful words deserves more coverage. The most obvious example is the commercialisation and dilution of whatever “love” is supposed to mean. But it is the word “passion” that has been getting on my tits. Apparently, it is no longer adequate to simply “like” something. No, you are required to be passionate about it.

I remember when I was looking for jobs in 2009 and a relatively common question during preliminary interviews and on application forms was “what are you passionate about?” Umm… nothing really… I mean I enjoy cricket, I play Pokemon… a lot, and I eat at too many fancy restaurants, but none of this constitutes a passion.

The flippant throwaway usage of “passion” is most evident on CVs (resumes). If and when I become an employer, I am going to highlight the word and ask the candidate to explain during the interview what makes their interest a passion. If you own a high spec digital camera and can talk enthusiastically about the intricacies of taking the perfect photograph, you get a pass. However, if your passion consists of having a camera phone and uploading hundreds of gratuitous pictures to Facebook each week, then I am sorry, but I might just stand up and point at you while exclaiming “BULLSHIT!”

TL;DR don’t worry about growing up, because adults are just children with more expensive toys and bigger shoes; learn to bullshit before you graduate; disregard the aspirations that society tells you will make you happy and do more of what you know will make you happy; and don’t use the word “passion” on your CV unless it is legitimate.


Your example with the two different picture/camera people is flawed on multiple levels, I will not touch it. I just wonder if you're really that upset by people using the word 'passion' lightly. This is mildly unrelated, but part of growing up is realizing that you never get to know what any one actually thinks or does for 100% sure, you just have to trust them at their word. People always have different concepts of how language should be used. Your way is not any more legitimate than theirs, even if you would be upset by theirs and they indifferent to yours.
 
Like everyone else said, it seems like you are agitated due to maybe your life being stagnant for a bit longer then you are comfortable with or used to. I'm 99% sure this is change is what is causing you to think 'this is the adult life'. I could be wrong, but thats my opinion.
 
One way or another I will die a game designer, whether as a philanthropic captain of industry or penniless and making games to play with my friends. 1%
 
Calm down, my post wasn't that good.

Since WB is the only one taking this seriously, i'll respond to him. I actually kind of agree with the "going nowhere" thing. I mean, unless you make more money than normal it will require you to work up to 70 at least. And that does include the responsible folks(money-wise). Then your old as dirt and are very limited in what you can do. Really, there is nothing to look foward to. It's what is happening everyday that is important/fun.

That's a very grim attitude to take. Personally, by the time I am 35 I want to be retired. Possibly before that if I'm smart. The way to do this is by investing my capital in to "money trees", that being ways in which I can generate passive income. I'm only 20 and have been keeping an eye out on ways to do this, the problem for me is getting said capital in the first place. It's the one reason I've stuck with my degree; I hate Information Technology and would be much happier studying something to do with electronic music or even marketing. The lure of safe money (and lots of it) though is what's keeping me around. I'm also starting my own business because we all know that being in control of your own company (no matter how small) is where the money is at. If I do reach my goal and retire by a young age? I'll get to travel to a new place every few months, I'll be able to have an awesome house, nice car and all the expensive toys that we only dream of. Most of all is that my wife and family won't have to worry about money at all. With enough passive income I can spend good quality time with them rather then being too busy being stuck in an office to watch my kids grow up. That to me, the freedom to do whatever I want, is what I want in life.
 
The problem is there is no such thing as "safe money". Any investment you make that is "safe" will not yield you interest that outpaces inflation, unless it's an annuity that forces you to put your money away for 10+ years. Wanting to retire by 35 is certainly a nice dream, but don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen (which I'm 95% sure it won't).

What you described is the "ideal situation" that everyone wishes for, but unless you're incredibly lucky or inherit a bunch of money it's just not realistic. Not to burst your bubble bro, just saying.
 
You don't think property investment will do just that? I don't know what your sitch is in America but here in Australia there's literally no way I won't make a return if I buy a house/apartment and lease it out (of course this can happen to varying extents). I know it's a difficult goal but most people dismiss it as being impossible without trying, when I have a surprising number of good friends who've done what I've outlined!
 
Thoughts on adulthood. From a person who isn't considered an adult.

I will fast forward through boring shit. Didn't really do anything in high school, academically or socially. Went to CC for 2 years and got a useless degree, made some social achievements. Took a year off from school to work a dead-end job because the option was either "go to school" or "get a job" by my parents. I didn't know what i wanted to do in school. Maybe i still don't. But after a year in that job, and after meeting an incredibly influential person in my life, I decided to try and make myself happy. Because that year, though i wouldnt say wasted because I made personal athletic goals happen in that span that wouldnt have been accomplished if i had attended school, and werent exactly certain to occur post-education, made me realize this lifestyle wasn't sustainable or healthy.

So I made a drastic change, even shocking my parents. Applied to school. Where although i would be dorming there, i would be an hour away from home (which is not bad). And then the happiness decision came into play. After getting accepted into both the Accounting and Sports Management majors, the decision hit me. Either one would grant me a great time at school, but Accounting (or even Finance) would be relatively boring, possibly uninteresting, yet secure. Sports Management, although a field with numerous job titles and opportunities, is less secure. But ultimately, i believe, more rewarding, and possibly even 'fun'. So I chose fun. I chose a school close to home, with a few friends that I enjoy being around, and from what I've heard, a wonderful experience. Just chasing happiness. Or at least what I think happiness is.

Now, I have read McGraw's post and even at age 20 I've understood that this is how the world works, sadly (imo). Stuff gets slightly more serious as you age, but I guess "idk". I don't really like how the world works right now, because honestly I can't bring myself to that level just to be "successful". Lying and deceiving, to get what you want, screwing other people over. But whatever. Not everyone has to go down that path if they don't want to.

thoughts on adulthood from a member of the community nobody has ever taken seriously. out
 
That's a very grim attitude to take. Personally, by the time I am 35 I want to be retired. Possibly before that if I'm smart. The way to do this is by investing my capital in to "money trees", that being ways in which I can generate passive income. I'm only 20 and have been keeping an eye out on ways to do this, the problem for me is getting said capital in the first place. It's the one reason I've stuck with my degree; I hate Information Technology and would be much happier studying something to do with electronic music or even marketing. The lure of safe money (and lots of it) though is what's keeping me around. I'm also starting my own business because we all know that being in control of your own company (no matter how small) is where the money is at. If I do reach my goal and retire by a young age? I'll get to travel to a new place every few months, I'll be able to have an awesome house, nice car and all the expensive toys that we only dream of. Most of all is that my wife and family won't have to worry about money at all. With enough passive income I can spend good quality time with them rather then being too busy being stuck in an office to watch my kids grow up. That to me, the freedom to do whatever I want, is what I want in life.


Haha the way i wrote it does kind of have a very bleak tone. Not really meant it to be that way. I actually wanted it to be uplifting. I was basically saying that you need to stop focusing on the last stop, and start focusing on what you are passing by. We are all going to die(death will be eventually cured, but not in our lifetimes and that's a different discussion) but at least we can make the most out of the very limited time we have. And do some pretty cool/awesome stuff until then. That of course depends on the person and his surroundings. As not everyone has it as good as us and sadly quite a few give up on our definition of life. Point being that it's up to ourselves to be creative on our way to death, since most likely your not going to get any help. Only person we lucky bastards have to blame for our misery is ourselves(for the most part) unlike a lot of the world who can't do shit about it.

I may sound bleak a lot but i constantly and knowingly try to be positive about most things because i see on a regular basis how lucky i am... And how unlucky some unfortunate(sometimes not so innocent) folks are and how quick it can all end.
 
You don't think property investment will do just that? I don't know what your sitch is in America but here in Australia there's literally no way I won't make a return if I buy a house/apartment and lease it out (of course this can happen to varying extents). I know it's a difficult goal but most people dismiss it as being impossible without trying, when I have a surprising number of good friends who've done what I've outlined!

Perhaps Australia is different than here in the States, but I find it difficult to believe it's THAT drastically dissimilar. Real estate speculation/property investment are things that require HUGE amounts of capital to begin with, and are usually only attempted by people who are already comfortably paying their own mortgage with plenty of money to spare and nothing else to do with it. Also, remember, overspeculation was one of the main contributing factors to the collapse of the housing bubble here, so you need to be careful what you get yourself into. Investing in property is not something easily reversed, so you can't get into it unless you're financially prepared to take a loss (which, at 20, you aren't). You made it sound like a very simple thing in your post, but there's a great many variables that go into it, all costing money.

My advice: work on finishing school, establishing yourself in a secure career, and purchasing your own home first. Once you've done that and you're stable financially, then you can think about purchasing a second home. Also, this is all assuming that you never get married and have kids, because if you do you can kiss your dream of retiring young goodbye. I'm not sure what your outlook is on starting a family, but unless you have an absurdly well paying job you're not going to be able to raise a family and retire at 35.
 
I like how everybody posting in this thread is most likely under the age of 30 but they are all experts at adulthood. I'm 25 and won't even attempt to explain what adulthood is like.

Personally, I feel like I haven't changed a bit since I graduated high school and I have a very successful career. I will never be a so-called bullshitter. I'm a straight shooter. I say it how I see it. There are definitely a lot of people that will bullshit their way to the top, but it's easy enough to be successful and advance in your career without bullshitting. The people who get there by lying and talking down their fellow employees usually end up falling in one way or another.

The person in the main post just appears to be jaded at their current job because some scumbag got a promotion and he feels like he was more deserving. Whatever man. If you're good at your job you'll have your day.

Also, from my short personal experience: The best way to get raises and promotions is to simply get a new job somewhere else. In 5 years I've basically tripled my income and received 4 promotions just by staying at places for a couple of years and then moving on to greener pastures.
 
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