Man looking back on this thread is a true testament to the places life can take you. I'm going to divulge a bit of my story here, hopefully it will help someone, anyone, and if only one person so be it. My "innocent" curiosity and dabbling with mind altering substances started right around the same time I began engaging in this community. It seemed harmless and quite frankly cool to me to take o this persona of some rebellious stoner, searching for validation, trying to fulfill some socially inept void I could never grasp. Never feeling like I could fit in, being able to escape the truth of who I really am was such an alluring concept. I just want to say that it's not at all glamorous, or cool, nor hip to get high. It's an illusion, and this innocent illusion (or so I thought) turned into a dark void of suffering extremely fast. What started as an occasional pot smoking and psychedelic ingesting fascination turned into a full blown IV heroin addiction within a matter of a couple years. I never thought it would happen to me, I told myself I would never touch that shit. I'm so fucking logical, mind over matter and everything in moderation is what I kept telling myself. I was so clueless, and thought I had it all figured out, how wrong I was. I came from a good home, a family and upbringing. But I tampered with a demon, the likes of which you couldn't imagine in your time of worst despair. I went from being sheltered in my house, in front of my computer at these very forums for hours, to being clinically dead twice, in jail several times, stealing from my family over and over, watching 8people I went to high school with die from OD, sleeping in abandoned buildings or anywhere I could lay my head, prostituting the girl I was in love with out to support both of our habits because god knows I could not get out of that fucking bed without nearly shitting myself, puking, shaking and sweating unless I had a fix. I was crippled and brought to my knees by this little glassiline bag. I suffered incomprehensible demoralization all due to the fact that I thought this shit was cool because it made me feel good when I was younger and never changed my perception. Some of this may or may not happen to any of you, but I just wanna say you can achieve self appreciation and reach a plateau of good feeling without the use of drugs. I'm sober today and I feel better than I ever have in my life. I've had my fair share of good times and partying but none of that shit is relevant in the grand scheme of things. We are all spiritual beings and we are not products of our environment, our reputations, or clothes or what music we listen to. You can reach an elevated state of mind all by yourself if you take the time to seek the truth. I'm gonna stop rambling now, hope this helps even though its scattered.