Yep sorry for the brief delay, my brother's coming home
Stirring tunes rouse you, as the voice from yesterday launches into yet another improbable love story, this time set to music.
'
The Epic of Babushka Sametri Samuovitch Part два
Young potato farmer Sametri Samuovitch farm long time and gain potato and age. Enough potato to buy entire pogost.
However had rival in LightWolf for wife bride and barbarian fiend LightWolf was not comrade at all to Sametri. No, wanted bride treasure of potato farmer for himself as she only maiden in pogost. Vast pogost, but entirely populated by sausage. Best compliment to polse is potato. Was known.
LightWolf call KGB upon Sametri after grow enough potato and gain wealth. LightWolf engage Sametri in ungentlemanly brawling to distract while KGB burn all potato farm and stores. Sametri accused falsely of being kulak, of burning own potato farm rather than share equally with uneducated proletariat.
Entire pogost very sad, now no potato and no wealth. KGB laugh and leave. But also kidnap Sametri bride! Now comrades have no maiden in village.
Sametri enter state of profound melancholy. Without his maiden, was truly beyond console. Also in danger of being killed for kulak, or sent to Siberia where charms of bride would forever be lost.
Story of his tale spread. Count Leo Tolstoy hear of this tragedy, wherein true kulak barbarian LightWolf deprived all others of non-sausage and allowed Sametri maiden to be abducted by rogue KGB.
Count write great epic of this, Lolita. Is great success, go down in history. Tale of Sametri spread further.
Several year disappear. Cinnamon no longer. Sametri fall into state of endless despair. But knowledge of his profoundest loss reach foreign lands. Support gather for Sametri to fight against KGB. Jealous capitalist also think Sametri can undermine fair and glorious proletarian democracy. Aha! It is a good plan. Since Vladimir Putin head rogue faction of KGB that betrayed Sametri instead of destroy kulak, he secretly collaborate with Monopoly men.
Berlin Wall fall. Iron Curtain dismantled.'
Flyhn dead. 'Pogost no longer in such state of disrepair. Potato farms regrown, fire allow for strong soil now.
But it was no good. Sametri was still saddened to no end. Transposed into state of the sublime in his grief.
But foreign support entered pogost. LightWolf was arrest of war crimes. Americans buy potoato from pogost to make freedom fry, Sametri now rich.
Sametri desire his lost bride, though. Life empty despite potato fortune.
Sametri set out on quest to finest emblem of Russia, Moscow. Main city. Look for now abandoned KBG headquarter.
Is picture of bride, massive framed imagery, giant painting, on entry wall. Rip down middle now, picture is torn when comraded American storm KGB.
Sametri ponder, what this mean? From the shadows emerge lovely bride behind him, just as beautiful as ever. His maiden, now back. But in KGB outform and tiara.
He pause, what this mean? "Cinnamon?" he ask, transfixed by her continued beauty.
"Sametri, poor farmer of pogost, dear baked potato of heart. Has been long time."
"Cinnamon?!"
"I took over KGB after abduction. Pogost too small for my endeavors."
"My precious sweet potato cinnabon, most magnificent. I am so proud. But, are you still mine?"
The epic will be continue at a later date, when Count Tolstoy no longer in Nazi jail.'
"Hang on," you all yell, rudely interrupting a motivating rendition of L'Internationale, "the Berlin Wall fell? I knew Brexit was the right choice!"
No, but it seems that a very powerful tsunami had obliterated the Wall randomly in the 1990s, causing a stray brick to hit Flyhn, who had flown up to avoid the tsunami and hit the rubble instead. Unlucky. Flyhn was
Android 18, Evil Twin.
The day has started. Any results will go out now. You may post.
Claim tally: 1
(flavour note: Flyhn's death was not in the original announcement, anything not in the single was not part of the paraphrase)