What are the things a standard American fears the most?

Ok so your standard American citizen is morbidly afraid of gun control and foreigners, but that's just our basic package. For just $10 a month you can upgrade to our premium American citizen, who has all the fears of our standard pack alongside the fear that their country isn't the most important one in the world. And if that's not enough for you then you can take things one step further with our platinum premium American citizen package, available now for $15 a month, which comes with a fear of any language other than English and an obnoxious amount of patriotism. You might be thinking "hey, those are just expanded versions of the fears from the past two packages", to which I reply that, for a paltry $40, you can buy our pro-capitalism American citizen DLC, which comes with a healthy fear of communism and a bonus fear of Russian spies. Alternatively, for £29.99 you can buy our anti-everything that isn't American American citizen DLC, with fear of the metric system, non-dollar currencies, different timezones, and the additional fear of non-English languages from our platinum premium package. If you have any further questions please refer to az, the CEO of America. Hope this helps xx
 
rickroll.gif
 
I know this is a "haha let's shit on America thread" but I want to bring to light some stuff the standard American (me) actually fears.

I fear having children. Why? Because I lost my father at an early age and that really traumatized me. I guess it's a fear of my own mortality once I would have children, because I'm afraid of dying young and leaving them without a father, since that's what happened to me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone my wife and children that I would (presumably) love and care about very much. I fear death anyway, but once I have people relying on me or whatever, that's when the fear is going to be amped up. Hence, for that reason (and others), I don't see myself having children anytime soon. At least not until I can get over this unlikely but possible scenario where I die young and leave them fatherless.

...

So yeah it's that and the sound of Velcro. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
 
I know this is a "haha let's shit on America thread" but I want to bring to light some stuff the standard American (me) actually fears.

I fear having children. Why? Because I lost my father at an early age and that really traumatized me. I guess it's a fear of my own mortality once I would have children, because I'm afraid of dying young and leaving them without a father, since that's what happened to me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone my wife and children that I would (presumably) love and care about very much. I fear death anyway, but once I have people relying on me or whatever, that's when the fear is going to be amped up. Hence, for that reason (and others), I don't see myself having children anytime soon. At least not until I can get over this unlikely but possible scenario where I die young and leave them fatherless.

...

So yeah it's that and the sound of Velcro. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
rip.
 
water in general actually

unless youre like me and live in florida or youre a californian
:pikuh: ????
or you like to swim in lakes/go to summer camp in the south
or you live by/on the great lakes of michigan/wisconsin
or you live near the mississippi/ohio river
or you live in a huge port state like washington/maine/south carolina
 
:pikuh: ????
or you like to swim in lakes/go to summer camp in the south
or you live by/on the great lakes of michigan/wisconsin
or you live near the mississippi/ohio river
or you live in a huge port state like washington/maine/south carolina
yeah but aside from that everyone in general are afraid of water
 
I hope at least your water isn't like british one. I went to an school exchange to London and they only had fizzy water which is like even worst than RBY enjoyability(?
 
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