not to be pretentious but yall should really read this… C.H.A.T. (Come Here for All Talk)

CanineIllusionist said:
Apple recently changed their App Guidelines, section 1.1.5 "Inflammatory religious commentary or inaccurate or misleading quotations of religious texts." are not allowed. Considering how many disputed translations and sectional disagreements of viewpoints there are, it is neigh impossible to make any content involving religion that someone won't find inaccurate.
Thus, this is declaring Apple to know what's accurate of not just your God but all religions and they have the final say in manner. Because only accurate religious quotes and interpretations are allowed on the App Store, they are circularly correct.

In a case of the words on the prophets are written on the subway walls, a quote supposedly from the early Deus Ex games which I know to be accurate because I found that claim on a website browser available from the App Store and inaccurate religious quotations are barred from the App Store.

"The need to be observed and understood was once satisfied by God. Now we can implement the same functionality with data mining algorithms." For the sake of brevity, I'll stop at the start and finish with the end, "You will soon have your God, and you will make it with your own hands."

Dear Reader, I have found my God through the jungles of the Amazon... product recommendation page. Yes, I am now an Apostle of Product!
And I am here to share with you my salvation. I was pounding the ground with my fists balled up in despair, tears flowing out of my weary defeated eyes as my bit of canned fruit was just too juicy and eating it with a fork was spelling disaster as a bit of sugary liquid dribbled anywhere but instead my mouth!
But a beacon of light beckoned me, my phone screen shining bright enough to burn my sorrows out of my body. A simple awakening to the truth, "they make metal sporks, bro."

Finally, my prayers were answered by the one that has been my sidearm and companion all along! Now I may spearfish out my various chunks of fruit with all fluids being captured and cupped in my most trustworthy piece of silverware, like the hands of an angel holding back my sadness.

Now, I too wish to preach the light that I have seen. And inform your new year's resolution to become steeling yourself to have the resolve to the truth I have. "Metal sporks are actually nice to have around." and for you to buy yourself a nice one to have the comfort and clarity that I had this last year, even through the tumultuous times we've all shared in.
I cannot tell you the brand of my tined saviour, for the first tenet of worshiping Product is "Whenever possible, avoid saying a brand name without a sponsorship deal."


On all levels except physical, sent from my iPhone.
Click to expand...

haha im getting an Apple watch lol ill be like a secret agent

phone rings
answers watch
yes?
what??
i'll be right there!

driving
driving
driving
mcd's drive thru
driving
driving

okay
i'm here

walking
walking

*knock knock knock*.....

AE29F467-8964-475E-9DDC-7246A5051982.jpeg


what??? a surprise party?? you guys...... (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)
 
Religionandpoliticsoftenmakesomepeopleloseallperspectiveandgivewaytorantingandravingandcarryingonlikeemotionalchildren.Theyeitherrefusetodiscussitwithreason,orelsetheypreferargumentumadhominum,whichisahellofawaytoconductadiscussion.Well,anyhow,notlongago,Iwastalkingabouttheelections,andhowthecampaignswereignoringtheissues,andstickinginsteadtoinvectiveandpersonalcrapthathadnothingtodowiththesubstantiveproblemsofrunningagovernment,whichisalltrue,asyouknowifyoufollowedthespeechesandso-calleddebatesofthecandidates.Anyhow,oneoftheguysIwastalkingwithsaidnotawordinthewholeconversationexceptattheendwhenhesuddenlychuckledandsaidwewereallfullofshit,andwhydidn'twegoliveinRussiaorChinaifthatwasthewayweallhatedtheUnitedStatesOfAmerica.Nextthingyouknowthewholebloomingdiscussionwasmorelikeabrawl,Andtheepithetsflewthickandfast,andthenoisewasincredible.Someonesaid"sonofabitch",andIthinkhesaid"bastard".Icouldn'tbesure,itwasallsoconfusing.Well,anyhow,Iwasattemptingtogetitallbackonarationallevel.Itried,forexample,totalktotheonewhohadstarteditall,andIaskedhimjustwhatdidhemeanwewereallfullofshit.Washemakingastatementoffactasheknewit,andwherewashisdocumentationtobackuphisclaim?IthinkSocrateswould'vebeenproudofthewayIrefutedhisargument.Thatis,Itriedtorefuteit,butallhecouldofferbywayofrebuttalwasmoreofthesameabouthowwewereallfullofshit.Buthewouldn'tsaywhy,hejustkeptonrepeatingit,thatandthepartaboutRussiaandChinaandcommunistdupes,andI'llhavetoconfessthatIgotabitangryandtoldhimtostuffhisideasuphisass,whichyoudon'thavetotellmeishardlyawaytoconvinceanyoneinanargument.ThenhegotsaltyandthreatenedtogivemeapunchinthemouthifIdidn'tshutup,andIreallygothot,andtheothersdidtoo,andweallbeattheshitoutofmisterconservative.And,afterall,hehadonlyhimselftobeblamed.Thisisstillafreecountry,Andanyonetellingafellowlikeme,"Brother,you'refullofshit",betterbegoodandreadytoanswerpolitelywhenaskedifhe'dcaretosaywhy.
 
So today there were some mice in my cat food bag and I scared a few away to run away, but there was one that moved all slow like, so I picked him up and left him outside to freeze. He's currently huddled next to the house. Is it weird that i feel bad about it?

he's like right next to the door in a small crevice

he doesn't seem to try to crawl out and come in when I open it and his hair is on end

at least he's convieniently stored for the cat to have at him

EDIT: I moved him to a nice leaf bed and he went into shock

I genuinely somewhat thought he was frozen solid
 
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Bug Maniac Aydon said:
So today there were some mice in my cat food bag and I scared a few away to run away, but there was one that moved all slow like, so I picked him up and left him outside to freeze. He's currently huddled next to the house. Is it weird that i feel bad about it?

he's like right next to the door in a small crevice

he doesn't seem to try to crawl out and come in when I open it and his hair is on end

at least he's convieniently stored for the cat to have at him

EDIT: I moved him to a nice leaf bed and he went into shock

I genuinely somewhat thought he was frozen solid
Click to expand...
you must hate the movie ratatouille
 
The General
By: AThousandThoughts
You're the highest ranking General in the mireanian army in the kingdom of Mireania. One day you lead the attack and invasion of Arendelle, and your army manage to conquer the kingdom and imprison the royal family. But what happens when you meet the beautiful Snow Queen? Will she be the one to thaw your frozen heart? [Elsa x Male reader] Rated M for violence.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure/Romance - Anna, Elsa, Kristoff B., OC - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,998 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 76 - Updated: Jan 2, 2019 - Published: Apr 21, 2015 - Status: Complete - id: 11199995

Chapter 1.
Sweat was dripping from your forehead as you swung your longsword above your head before you brought it down in a wide downward arc. You then spun around and jumped off the platform you were standing at, digging the tip of your sword in the floorboard as you landed with one knee bent to absorb the impact of your jump.

"General (L/N)!" a voice called and you stood up and turned around to face whoever interrupted your training session.

"What is it?" you asked and sheathed your sword.

"You're requested by the king himself." your captain said and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"The king?" The captain nodded "what does he want with me?"

"He wouldn't say. He just requested your presence as soon as possible."

You thought for a few seconds before you nodded.

"I understand. Tell his majesty that I'll be there in 15 minutes." you informed the captain, who nodded again and left the room.

...
 
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