Hella late, but why not just get bra inserts? Much more affordable and you can see how you feel about the size/weight before fully committing to a plate
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Hella late, but why not just get bra inserts? Much more affordable and you can see how you feel about the size/weight before fully committing to a plate
Would it be best to just get those on Amazon, or are there IRL places where those are sold commonly? I don't know why I didn't think of that, but they'd be great for a test run before I commit to the whole plate you're right
I'm not too sure about the quality control on Amazon, but I'm sure you could find something there. I'm pretty sure anywhere you'd be looking to buy a plate would also sell inserts.
First, quick, I'm coming out!!! I'm bisexual, and I think I'm fully nonbinary instead of genderfluid, but I can't quite figure it out x-x
Second, sorry to detract, but I need to rant about something that's been pissing me the fuck off over the last hour or so.
For those who don't know, MGK (Machine Gun Kelly) is a mainstream rap/rock artist who has been the proverbial punching bag for many people on the internet since the release of the controversial song "Emo Girl." This isn't about him, his music, or what any of us think of him; his bus was tagged last night with a homophobic slur being graffitied onto it. I have seen such a 180 from so many people who previously talked about how it was terrible to use slurs now celebrating a slur being graffitied onto a person's bus just because that person is hated.
It's so hypocritical and insulting as fuck, especially when people purport to care about your identity then pull shit like this, you know?
Second, sorry to detract, but I need to rant about something that's been pissing me the fuck off over the last hour or so.
For those who don't know, MGK (Machine Gun Kelly) is a mainstream rap/rock artist who has been the proverbial punching bag for many people on the internet since the release of the controversial song "Emo Girl." This isn't about him, his music, or what any of us think of him; his bus was tagged last night with a homophobic slur being graffitied onto it. I have seen such a 180 from so many people who previously talked about how it was terrible to use slurs now celebrating a slur being graffitied onto a person's bus just because that person is hated.
It's so hypocritical and insulting as fuck, especially when people purport to care about your identity then pull shit like this, you know?
thread title has been further yassified (iA+)
SZA really do just get to look like this, and we don’t gotta pay for it??
Honestly I've ranted a bunch in mw thread and like need to get some shit outta my chest here now.
Also yes I know I probably shouldn't be ranting on an internet site, but seriously ya'll are probably more receptive than literally my whole conservative enviroment.
Tbh I don't expect to have a lot of likes or reactions overall lol I wanna keep this as hidden as I can.
Also yes I know I probably shouldn't be ranting on an internet site, but seriously ya'll are probably more receptive than literally my whole conservative enviroment.
Honestly, I think I have said it before but I'm pansexual (I also sort of fit on bisexual's definition tbh so I'm fine w it too), like I've realized I just really don't care about the gender at all when I'm attracted to someone, it just happens.
I think everything's okay from there, but honestly the idea of coming out terrifies me, like I can imagine how my parents would react and they'd say it's just a phase, whereas my closest friends and family would make a lot of questions (and I certainly think my girlfriend will break up w me), but at the same time I feel some...guilty? Like for example, sometimes I just find men actually pretty and I don't have anyone to talk about it lol, it's just a complete nightmare.
I had to hear a lot of homophobic comments as well, like not towards me but I've heard many comments towards lgbtq+ people in my school (and even at home) and can't say anything about it cause I kinda wanna hide it, but at the same time I just wanna tell everyone tf is going on in my head lol.
I also don't think my social life is really that good right now, like yes I talk with a lot of people IRL (in fact I'm kind of popular and sometimes I'm the center of attention at school), but I don't have any close friends (and my gf thinks having a bi/pan boyfriend is a nightmare and she told me that before)
I think everything's okay from there, but honestly the idea of coming out terrifies me, like I can imagine how my parents would react and they'd say it's just a phase, whereas my closest friends and family would make a lot of questions (and I certainly think my girlfriend will break up w me), but at the same time I feel some...guilty? Like for example, sometimes I just find men actually pretty and I don't have anyone to talk about it lol, it's just a complete nightmare.
I had to hear a lot of homophobic comments as well, like not towards me but I've heard many comments towards lgbtq+ people in my school (and even at home) and can't say anything about it cause I kinda wanna hide it, but at the same time I just wanna tell everyone tf is going on in my head lol.
I also don't think my social life is really that good right now, like yes I talk with a lot of people IRL (in fact I'm kind of popular and sometimes I'm the center of attention at school), but I don't have any close friends (and my gf thinks having a bi/pan boyfriend is a nightmare and she told me that before)
i don't wanna bombard you with advice since you said you wanted to vent/rant, but i do want to validate that your existence is important no matter what rhetoric you hear around you about it, and if your girlfriend wouldn't accept you as you are then she's probably worth losing so, don't get too hung up trying to please people who aren't actually making you happy OR secure in your identity!! <3
I'm 15 y/o and I found out that I was aro/ace about half a year ago and it took me a while to explain things to my friends (I am not planning on coming out to my parents any time soon mostly because I feel like I don't need to) but now it just feels so liberating, in the past I used to worry about getting a gf and looking good in order to get into relationships and stuff but I realised that I never really cared about falling in love, it always was just kind of a social norm I accepted for almost all my live, I even pretended to be in love with a girl in 2nd grade even though I never felt that way, never have, and coming to terms with that was just amazing. I used to hate Pride because I got swept up into the alt-right wave of the internet during the late 2010's thanks to the likes of Ben Shitiro, but now I just feel grateful because it was thanks to how normalized being LGBT+ has become over the past few years has become that I came to terms with my sexuality.
All i know its for intersex, I mainly see it all upper case, not sure if it being lowercase means anything.
i've been meaning to make a more substantial post in this thread, but my thoughts are unorganized and besides that i'm not a particularly good writer. but far be it from me to call out a post for not sparking discussion, then not spark any myself, so here goes:
what does everyone else have to say about the intersection of music and queerness? this is a hard one to talk about without just drifting into "here's why i like this music" which is a topic for a different thread entirely, but i'll do my best to explain what i mean here.
for me, i think a good place to start is drowning in the sewer by sewerslvt. this music is kind of a stereotype among transfems which i find really interesting because of how totally out there it is. it's like how did all of us end up at this weird place in the middle of nowhere?
drowning in the sewer can easily be read as an album about depression; one such construction is that the album's progression represents a story about an average internet gamer becoming a pedophilic porn addict with no prospects in life and eventually committing suicide. but even this is suspiciously not too far off from right-wing stereotypes of trans women. at any rate i think this interpretation only scratches the surface anyway, so let's dive a little deeper.
one thing that really sticks out to me is this album is how light many of the songs feel, including "squids", "hopelessness", and "blacklight". the young transfem life is wispy, unstable, and ephemeral, not securely anchored to a state of being. even abusable or disposable. sewerslvt, doll twitter, hot allostatic load. it feels like they can just blow away in the wind at any moment. this of course is especially amplified when you consider the internet (another major theme of the album): many transfems, being lacking in irl community, are especially reliant on the internet for social relations. all of us are familiar with the internet friend who just disappears one day, and even without going to that extreme it's abundantly clear that you need to be there for people in real life, and they need to be there for you.
another thing drowning in the sewer does well is characterize conflict. a great example of this is "cyberia lyr2", a big, brutal song with drums, bass, and an uncaring vocal sample that beat down the listener. i see this song as the subject of the album fighting back: "i may be light, pathologized, and disposable, but i'm alive, god damn it! i can be tough too!" even later on in "death & humanity", a song well past the event horizon of the album, we see the reaffirmation of life even in the face of death: fighting a battle you know is unwinnable, but continuing nonetheless. "there is no 'real woman' to become."
drowning in the sewer ends in a haunting, devastating way. the death, plain and non-spectacular, is very clear in what it represents: annihilation. "it's over." literal death aside, assimilation--the 'trans dream' in the eyes of the vast majority of people--is also an annihilation: going stealth, abandoning your siblings, leaving it all behind in order to "make it". it seems in nearly all cases, trans joy cannot survive in a sustainable state. this is well expressed through the song "junko loves you", the last stand of unadulterated love for the world before the album enters its greatest spiral; love unreciprocated cannot be healthy.
but this joy is also something worth keeping alive at all costs. to illustrate this point, i want to bring up a song from another sewerslvt album: the appropriately named "slvtcrvsher". i fucking love this song. the cruelty of the world is stripped down to its barest form and spelled out to the listener: "stupid girl / you don't have a chance", yet the opposing trans voice rises up to meet it. to "shut your fucking mouth", it replies "fuck you!" all within an insanely manic, intense, oppressive song. fighting an impossible battle, but this time winning.
so what's the difference? i think that skitzofrenia simulation is despite the name a much more "healthy" album compared to drowning in the sewer. many of the songs are very hostile and negative in nature, with messages such as "i fucking hate antidepressants! i hate being a bad lover! i feel like my brain is broken! i hate what they're doing to the environment!" (listen to ecocide suite btw BANGER) the difference is that there is an i, a more stable entity capable of having these feelings, and capable of working through them. she's here, and she's chosen to be in it for the long haul.
in "blooming iridescent flower" and "with you forever", the last two songs on the album, we see the same joy as before, but no longer in a self-sacrificial way: loving everyone means being responsible, not spreading yourself too thin, and celebrating yourself as well. this is expressed through "blooming iridescent flower" itself being a lot more structured and energetic of a song; a being with clearly defined borders. "with you forever" tests the limits of these borders by exploring the concept of relationships, but that's a topic for another post. i even think "slvtcrvsher" is a joyous song at heart, although maybe that's just me being competitive game brained and being like "fighting is awesome".
(note: even with all of this there's still a lot i didn't cover, like the roots drowning in the sewer has in 4chan and more generally the internet "anon", and the ways its idealized and "pure" anime girls reflect onto many online transfems, though that phenomenon extends outside of anime. i wanna talk about those but im stupid and i have some funny blue pills to put in my mouth)
so yeah! my only rule for these music posts is that you have to have fun while making them. but music is awesome and is one of many ways to make "theory" less dry. so i welcome more of these kinds of posts. or you can also ratify my status as Neo-Amazonia's Biggest Pseud (Two-Time Award Winner) (Erin Makes "Worst Post Ever"; Asked To Leave Gay Pokemon Thread)
uhhh fuckin uhhhh stream machine girl - scroll of sorrow and tell me about your favorite gay music
what does everyone else have to say about the intersection of music and queerness? this is a hard one to talk about without just drifting into "here's why i like this music" which is a topic for a different thread entirely, but i'll do my best to explain what i mean here.
for me, i think a good place to start is drowning in the sewer by sewerslvt. this music is kind of a stereotype among transfems which i find really interesting because of how totally out there it is. it's like how did all of us end up at this weird place in the middle of nowhere?
drowning in the sewer can easily be read as an album about depression; one such construction is that the album's progression represents a story about an average internet gamer becoming a pedophilic porn addict with no prospects in life and eventually committing suicide. but even this is suspiciously not too far off from right-wing stereotypes of trans women. at any rate i think this interpretation only scratches the surface anyway, so let's dive a little deeper.
one thing that really sticks out to me is this album is how light many of the songs feel, including "squids", "hopelessness", and "blacklight". the young transfem life is wispy, unstable, and ephemeral, not securely anchored to a state of being. even abusable or disposable. sewerslvt, doll twitter, hot allostatic load. it feels like they can just blow away in the wind at any moment. this of course is especially amplified when you consider the internet (another major theme of the album): many transfems, being lacking in irl community, are especially reliant on the internet for social relations. all of us are familiar with the internet friend who just disappears one day, and even without going to that extreme it's abundantly clear that you need to be there for people in real life, and they need to be there for you.
another thing drowning in the sewer does well is characterize conflict. a great example of this is "cyberia lyr2", a big, brutal song with drums, bass, and an uncaring vocal sample that beat down the listener. i see this song as the subject of the album fighting back: "i may be light, pathologized, and disposable, but i'm alive, god damn it! i can be tough too!" even later on in "death & humanity", a song well past the event horizon of the album, we see the reaffirmation of life even in the face of death: fighting a battle you know is unwinnable, but continuing nonetheless. "there is no 'real woman' to become."
drowning in the sewer ends in a haunting, devastating way. the death, plain and non-spectacular, is very clear in what it represents: annihilation. "it's over." literal death aside, assimilation--the 'trans dream' in the eyes of the vast majority of people--is also an annihilation: going stealth, abandoning your siblings, leaving it all behind in order to "make it". it seems in nearly all cases, trans joy cannot survive in a sustainable state. this is well expressed through the song "junko loves you", the last stand of unadulterated love for the world before the album enters its greatest spiral; love unreciprocated cannot be healthy.
but this joy is also something worth keeping alive at all costs. to illustrate this point, i want to bring up a song from another sewerslvt album: the appropriately named "slvtcrvsher". i fucking love this song. the cruelty of the world is stripped down to its barest form and spelled out to the listener: "stupid girl / you don't have a chance", yet the opposing trans voice rises up to meet it. to "shut your fucking mouth", it replies "fuck you!" all within an insanely manic, intense, oppressive song. fighting an impossible battle, but this time winning.
so what's the difference? i think that skitzofrenia simulation is despite the name a much more "healthy" album compared to drowning in the sewer. many of the songs are very hostile and negative in nature, with messages such as "i fucking hate antidepressants! i hate being a bad lover! i feel like my brain is broken! i hate what they're doing to the environment!" (listen to ecocide suite btw BANGER) the difference is that there is an i, a more stable entity capable of having these feelings, and capable of working through them. she's here, and she's chosen to be in it for the long haul.
in "blooming iridescent flower" and "with you forever", the last two songs on the album, we see the same joy as before, but no longer in a self-sacrificial way: loving everyone means being responsible, not spreading yourself too thin, and celebrating yourself as well. this is expressed through "blooming iridescent flower" itself being a lot more structured and energetic of a song; a being with clearly defined borders. "with you forever" tests the limits of these borders by exploring the concept of relationships, but that's a topic for another post. i even think "slvtcrvsher" is a joyous song at heart, although maybe that's just me being competitive game brained and being like "fighting is awesome".
(note: even with all of this there's still a lot i didn't cover, like the roots drowning in the sewer has in 4chan and more generally the internet "anon", and the ways its idealized and "pure" anime girls reflect onto many online transfems, though that phenomenon extends outside of anime. i wanna talk about those but im stupid and i have some funny blue pills to put in my mouth)
so yeah! my only rule for these music posts is that you have to have fun while making them. but music is awesome and is one of many ways to make "theory" less dry. so i welcome more of these kinds of posts. or you can also ratify my status as Neo-Amazonia's Biggest Pseud (Two-Time Award Winner) (Erin Makes "Worst Post Ever"; Asked To Leave Gay Pokemon Thread)
uhhh fuckin uhhhh stream machine girl - scroll of sorrow and tell me about your favorite gay music
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some queer tracks I've played recently to respond to cityscapes, enjoyed your breakdown of an artist I haven't heard before.
Ashnikko ft. Princess Nokia- Slumber Party lighthearted sapphic romp with good rap and beat
Moonbyul ft. Seori- Shutdown
really well directed music video, soft longing vibes, not baiting at all like some of K-Pop. Moonbyul's my favorite part of Mamamoo
Cynic- Adam's Murmur
cheating a little bit because this isn't explicitly gay, but the frontman of Cynic Paul Masvidal is. it's not hard to project homoromantic themes into this one. killer guitar solo and always rlly liked Cynic's brand of death metal that has a very improvisionational quality to it
Ashnikko ft. Princess Nokia- Slumber Party lighthearted sapphic romp with good rap and beat
Moonbyul ft. Seori- Shutdown
really well directed music video, soft longing vibes, not baiting at all like some of K-Pop. Moonbyul's my favorite part of Mamamoo
Cynic- Adam's Murmur
cheating a little bit because this isn't explicitly gay, but the frontman of Cynic Paul Masvidal is. it's not hard to project homoromantic themes into this one. killer guitar solo and always rlly liked Cynic's brand of death metal that has a very improvisionational quality to it
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since ur initial question was about the i being lowercase its probs bc the forum font has capital I's Look like Lowercase L's
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i think artists are artists, and they almost always draw from real life experiences when creating their art! art that is meaningfully trans (as in, easily & aptly perceived that way) is totally valid, obviously, and i think it's important that artists express themselves, that's what it's all about right?
i don't have much to add as far as dissecting particularly queer music/artists, but i sure am happy they exist and are letting the world know !!
I am not who I am
Everyday since I started exploring who I was in middle school I've always been a lie. I would always tell people I was straight, I would have a fake crush in school so nobody would find out. I laughed at jokes that "friends" would make to blend in. My relationships remained hidden from everyone and everything, which is partly why some didn't work. I even have a "straight voice" I use around people who think I'm straight. At work I have to hide feelings for a guy because I fear for the worst possibility, regardless of the situation.
Part of the reason I am making this post is because I hope it makes me feel better. Everyone on PS/Smogon that knows me already knows that I'm gay, so it isn't much of a coming out post. I hope it gives me courage to eventually be myself in real life.
At this point I believe I have known about my sexuality for 8ish years. At the start I felt uncomfortable with myself and tried to ignore it. I hid who I was from myself and it put me in a bad place mentally, a place that I'm still recovering from. Over time I grew to accept it but have always been shaky about it. I still have moments where I question why I am the way I am, I question why I can't be something else, and I question why I have to hide myself.
Is this normal? Should I still be questioning myself this much? I am really curious, as I said I'm still not in the best mental state about this.
However, I do plan on coming out by the end of this year. I have always felt "ready" but there has also been something in my mind that holds me back, but I don't know what that something is. My mom and brother have speculated in the past that I may be gay, and they said they'd love me regardless, but I still lied to them. Though it does make me feel a little better knowing I can talk to them first.
Thanks for reading, if you have an answer for the one or two questions I asked I'd appreciate a response. If I do manage to come out this year I might make a follow up post.
Everyday since I started exploring who I was in middle school I've always been a lie. I would always tell people I was straight, I would have a fake crush in school so nobody would find out. I laughed at jokes that "friends" would make to blend in. My relationships remained hidden from everyone and everything, which is partly why some didn't work. I even have a "straight voice" I use around people who think I'm straight. At work I have to hide feelings for a guy because I fear for the worst possibility, regardless of the situation.
Part of the reason I am making this post is because I hope it makes me feel better. Everyone on PS/Smogon that knows me already knows that I'm gay, so it isn't much of a coming out post. I hope it gives me courage to eventually be myself in real life.
At this point I believe I have known about my sexuality for 8ish years. At the start I felt uncomfortable with myself and tried to ignore it. I hid who I was from myself and it put me in a bad place mentally, a place that I'm still recovering from. Over time I grew to accept it but have always been shaky about it. I still have moments where I question why I am the way I am, I question why I can't be something else, and I question why I have to hide myself.
Is this normal? Should I still be questioning myself this much? I am really curious, as I said I'm still not in the best mental state about this.
However, I do plan on coming out by the end of this year. I have always felt "ready" but there has also been something in my mind that holds me back, but I don't know what that something is. My mom and brother have speculated in the past that I may be gay, and they said they'd love me regardless, but I still lied to them. Though it does make me feel a little better knowing I can talk to them first.
Thanks for reading, if you have an answer for the one or two questions I asked I'd appreciate a response. If I do manage to come out this year I might make a follow up post.
do you have these questions from a place of curiosity, or a place of survival? bigoted people in the world don't define the "norm" (which is abstract at best), and their rejection of you might influence you to ask these questions not because you cannot accept yourself, but because you wonder if there must be something LOGICAL to why they cannot accept you. bigotry is 100% emotional, always remember this! this is also why you might get that tight feeling in your chest at the thought of coming out "too early"--becoming vulnerable means you might be attacked, regardless of the look of the attack. being attacked mentally or physically for our identities is traumatic, and triggering a fight or flight response by being honest versions of ourselves is exhausting.
i think you're safe to lean on your family as you already said they've given you their support directly--it's important you don't let the bad voices in your head win and make you question whether or not they are serious!! they love you very much, and are walking talking proof that you can be accepted in the world for exactly who you areeee
Literally this:
but also to cause conversation
just call me Beyonce, for short
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I would get arrested very quickly
Serious response assuming you mean in the US or other legal countries: yeah, I think it's probably in most trans people's best interests to carry guns in those countries, especially these days!
Been advocating for this for years; I'm genderfluid/bisexual, and I'm planning on getting my first gun when I (hopefully) purchase my first house by 2030.
This unfortunate "one way or the other" mentality regarding guns and gun control in the US has unfortunately become quite pervasive over the last 10 years. You either have people clamoring to "ban assault rifles" (they'll make uneducated observations like demonizing AR-15s, which are semi-automatic hunting rifles and not assault rifles, please don't get your information from mainstream news sources), or you have people clamoring to just let anyone get a gun at any time with no restrictions (they'll completely ignore problems like school shootings and perfectly reasonable compromises regarding safety precautions, please don't get your information from mainstream news sources).
My personal hot take - Any gun laws shouldn't ban guns; they should involve mandatory safety training and waiting periods for new owners/owners who haven't purchased that particular type of gun before. If you pass the requirements, you should be able to purchase the gun(s) you desire for whatever reason (collecting, sport, self-defense, etc). We should be advocating for more people in oppressed or victimized groups (LGBT, Minority, etc) to undergo firearm training and help make firearms more affordable to them via possible programs.
Until the two-party system is abolished in the United States, I think the average person understands that no corporation, law enforcement, government body, or such is going to truly help them in a time of crisis, so all of our brothers, sisters, and everyone in between should have the ability to protect themselves.
I don't want to derail this thread with a discussion about gun rights, but I do want to advocate that you look into local LGBTQ+-friendly gun rights and firearm safety organizations if you decide to arm yourself. They can help provide you with resources such as training on the safe handling of firearms in an environment that affirms your right to exist in a way that conservative gun groups will not, as well as solidarity in the face of fascist groups that threaten that right to exist, and even legal aid in the case that you are forced to defend yourself.
I'm a member of the Massachusetts branch of the Socialist Rifle Association, a leftist foil to fascistic gun groups like the NRA; there are many LGBTQ+ members of our organization, and we regularly organize in support of intersectionally related LGBTQ+ issues. I have also heard positive things from leftist and LGBTQ+ friends about Operation Blazing Sword/the Pink Pistols.
I'm a member of the Massachusetts branch of the Socialist Rifle Association, a leftist foil to fascistic gun groups like the NRA; there are many LGBTQ+ members of our organization, and we regularly organize in support of intersectionally related LGBTQ+ issues. I have also heard positive things from leftist and LGBTQ+ friends about Operation Blazing Sword/the Pink Pistols.
The AR-15 has been used in over half of the deadliest US mass shootings. It does not matter what the gun was made for when it is actively used for murder. We should under no circumstances be advocating for MORE guns to be placed in the hands of individuals, let alone making them MORE AFFORDABLE VIA PROGRAMS. My blood is genuinely boiling reading this post. It is horseshoe theory incarnate.