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Uh huh, nice one Twitter.

So for those unaware, while a massive protest for trans rights was going on, JK Rowling was apparently having dinner with people from the "Respect my Sex" campaign. Initially, this looks neat, but here's the catch.

The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!

Not exactly the best optics on the day of the protest, JK...not that she really has any reputation left after her recent bouts of insanity.

Oh, and the LGB Alliance is yet another transphobic hate group in the UK, which is being funded to make a film that will very likely also be peddling deadly rhetoric. Some sources on their extensive backlog of transphobia...
https://iwgb.org.uk/post/charity-workers-condemn-lgb-alliance
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/matt-lucas-lgb-alliance-trans-b1929993.html
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/man-evicted-manchester-pride-protest-21438362
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/10/14/russell-t-davies-lgb-alliance-attitude-awards/

Not a good day for trans people.

At least this happened!
https://twitter.com/x/status/1513310176941678602
 
May said:
The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!
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I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.
 
A while back (more than a year ago at this point!), I posted in this thread about being aromantic/bisexual. Lately, I'm not so sure anymore.

The whole concept of being intimate with other people is nothing new to me, and I've been in a couple of FWB relationships not at all focused on any sort of romantic aspects with both male and female partners. But the more I look at them and myself, the more I realize how detached from those aspects of the relationship I've felt. At first I just kind of handwaved it away as my depression making me uninterested in the physical parts of the relationship, but it's become a pattern over a couple of years now. Physically, everything is normal, but mentally, I feel nothing at all. It's weird and very confusing.

I'm not sure where these leaves me as far as my identity. I've been using the asexual label for a bit, but I'm not really sure if that's where I fit? Not sure what I want from this post other than to get these feelings out in the open, sorry.
 
dave said:
I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.
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Don't worry, Dave. We don't claim these "lesbians."

Lesbianism isn't just about WLW relationships. There's a history there, after all-- one which over time has developed the intersectionality of both trans women and lesbianism. Lesbian identities, at their core, are subversive of traditional gender identities. Femmes embrace their femininity, that which rejects the male gaze, while butches embrace their masculinity and break it from the association of men. Lesbians have been and are persecuted for this subversion, but it was the unrelenting struggle of lesbians in history (among others in the community of course) that has brought the LGBTQ+ community where it is now. Part of that historical lesbian struggle INCLUDED trans women because they understand more than anything the perils of subversion. To reject trans women from our identity is gross and blatantly anti-lesbian.
 
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
 
Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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well, which thought comes first, the attraction or the doubt?

why do you think you're attracted to men? what do you like about them? maybe if you consider the reasons that fulfill your "relative certainty" of your attraction to men, you'll realize that your doubt isn't about whether or not you're attracted to men, but perhaps whether your reasons are "good enough" or "logical enough" to substantiate your attraction to men, based on some arbitrary set of standards that either exists in reality, or exists in your mind.

emotions/attraction aren't supposed to be logical obviously, natural maybe, but it's supposed to be a good idea to find partners that you're both attracted to AND whom you find you like after active conversations/interactions with them over time!! and attraction is the harder of the two usually, because us smart humans with our big smart brains tend to convolute the process :quagchamppogsire: if only we had a mating dance, perhaps a song...

the reasons you like men probably don't precisely match the reasons why i like them, but there is no rule book to follow either way! :bloblul:
 
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Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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i'm going to be a little blunt with this response, but understand that i have the utmost compassion for what you're going through.

ocd's most potent trick is convincing you that you NEED to figure out things. that you need to know things without a shadow of a doubt, that uncertainty is unacceptable, and that there IS some firm answer out there that will resolve the obsession.

i understand how tricky it can be to distinguish between your "real" sexuality and a potential OCD theme, but I promise that the most important thing you can do is learn to live with that uncertainty and not spend hours ruminating over whether an event or an interaction was "real" or "genuine" or "proof" etc etc. if you decide to ID as gay and then later on down the road realize it doesn't align with you, ok! if you remain unlabeled and something solidifies later on, great! but in the meantime, try and accept the uncertainty and avoid rumination, as hard as it may be.

if you have access to a therapist specializing in OCD (especially one qualified to deal with LGBTQ issues), i highly recommend asking them for help on this. all of this is so much easier said than done, and having someone in your corner who has experience with guiding people through this is super helpful.
 
Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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What's potentially fake about your attraction to men? I don't know a whole lot about OCD (and less so of its interactions with human sexuality) but glancing at a bit of literature on the matter, I think the differences seem to lie in an underlying sense of shame and anxiety over an attraction to men or being perceived as attracted to men, as well as a disconnect between your sexuality and the obsessive thoughts. One of the characteristics was that simply the potential for being perceived as gay is seriously disruptive in social settings. Like running away from dudes for mentioning your jaw. Considering you have "relative certainty" that you're attracted to men, it sounds to me like this isn't really the OCD. Can't imagine it would hurt to contact an OCD therapist though.
 
Hi friends, it is late in the week now, but happy Lesbian visibility week!!

I don't really have an interesting coming out story, and I've only recently joined Smogon community, but seeing how LGBTQ+ friendly you guys are, it makes my heart flutter and very happy. :D

Thank you all for being compassionate, hope your week is going well!
 
in honor of lesbian visibility week, here’s a picture of me and my lovely girlfriend for everyone’s viewing !
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to all my sapphics out there: i understand it may seem intimidating to find a relationship with another woman. but TRUST ME when i say that we are all people at the end of the day, so please don’t let yourself feel nervous talking to girls and risk not making a connection there. get out there and GET THAT GAME
 
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FRIENDS, this is an absolute must-watch. It's so wholesome, subverts a ton of cliches, and is just in general very well made and thoughtful. I can't stop thinking about it and it makes my heart so happy, i need more seasons so I am pleading and begging everyone to at least give it a peek.

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There's also positive trans and lesbian representation and storylines (I believe all played by actual gay, bi, trans and lesbian actors), it's just so good

Happy lesbian visibility week!
 
fx said:
in honor of lesbian visibility week, here’s a picture of me and my lovely girlfriend for everyone’s viewing !
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View attachment 421777

to all my sapphics out there: i understand it may seem intimidating to find a relationship with another woman. but TRUST ME when i say that we are all people at the end of the day, so please don’t let yourself feel nervous talking to girls and risk not making a connection there. get out there and GET THAT GAME
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SO CUTE
 
pannuracotta said:
I lied yall.

After testing using any pronouns for like 8 months ive come to the conclusion that both he and she pronouns being used for me make me very uncomfortable.

So Im nonbinary, they/them only.
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wazzaaaap

you never lied, you've just learned something contrary to what you believed before! i think ignorant people will often fling that line of "but you said you were x, you can't just say you're something else now" because those types of people are only ever trying to project a VERSION of you so they treat you a certain way, rather than actually acknowledging you as a person and treating you like you should be treated based on YOUR wants and needs

so don't let yourself tell you that you were somehow dishonest in your journey of self, only we know our own "truths" and it's not dishonest if we're bumbling along until we find it !
 
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
 
Im too lazy to wait for June lmao i cannot deal with this anymore <3
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Thats right Smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq, im trans (mtf.) Now i never thought i was going to like... ever say this and i thought this was a secret going to the fucking grave with me, but here we are. I guess i should explain how i got to this conclusion, huh?
I never considered that being Male was part of me, or that i enjoyed it. I guess i was indifferent? But well for about the last 3 years i started to hate being male and started to experience a state of dysphoria, so thats how i started to kinda realize i was trans. Now covid hitted and the dysphoria hitted like a TRUCK, so i sorta kinda began to act a bit like a girl in online spaces (I made an alternate account, and made friends on that) and that eventually made me realize: I WAS NOT A MAN. I didnt know if i was really a "girl" now or if i was just having a weird phase but i realized this isnt a phase or whatever, this was me. I just didnt want to act like a girl and being treated as one online, i wanted to be one in real life. I realized that about 6 months ago. Ive been hiding that fact until now. So yeah, i can call myself a girlboss now openly. fun
TL;DR: Yas Queen
(oh yeah, she/her pronouns pls, called me Gabriela or Bella, thats what im trying right now but its subject to change)
[/SPOILER
 
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Chadlad50 said:
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
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Oh for sure I do! I go entire days where my thoughts revolve entirely around double-guessing my feelings, be it my sexuality, what love truly means and if I'm really in love with people, and whatnot. Just ask my lovelies May and Finland about how obnoxious I can get about that sort of stuff hehe.

The one huge thing I have been learning recently when it comes to handling that sort of heart-shredding doubt is that I don't need to have a definitive answer, because there might not be one. Learning to go with the flow and with what makes you comfortable is the really important part of this whole mess we call feelings. Emphasis on the idea of flow here, as it's also important to acknowledge that emotions and feelings aren't set in stone, they're not a mathematical constant. Some days you may feel very attracted to men, or to women, or to specific people, and others much less. That's a very natural thing. I understand why one might find it terrifying, as it can be perceived as a lack of control - and in a way, it is. It's also the reason it's very easy to question everything you know about yourself.

The other thing that's helped me is just gaining overall experience with relationships. Thoughts and speculations are only worth so much in the face of previous experiences. They help getting a grasp on reality when my thoughts go haywire.


I don't know how to wrap this up but uh, while it may not be much, I hope these small pieces of advice help you.
 
I ended up coming out later in life, about 23 to be specific. I'm a trans female and I'm glad to see that so many people feel like they can come out so freely in these times cause around the time I was growing up the trans movement had zero visibility and being gay was even more controversial than it is today. Coming out actually wasn't the hard part because I messaged some of my family members saying I would prefer them to think of me more of as a daughter/sister rather than a son and a brother. There was some resistance initially from my two sisters more so than my parents, including my 65 year old boomer dad. I worked a lot with a therapist I connected with at a local mental health facility & she and I talked some deal about being called slurs in high school and other fun topics.

I'm kind of glad I've survived it all cause there were times I was quite suicidal and to some degree I came to hate the people around me.
 
Chadlad50 said:
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
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short answer - yes, everyone feels this way.

long answer - yes! it doesnt matter how supportive our families are of us coming out/transitions/etc, lgbtq hatred is such a large part of society that we see it everywhere, even if inadvertantly. for example, the situation in the United states. even if someone isnt directly affected by it (say, a trans person from europe) the hatred towards people exactly the same as them is something that they will cling onto and remember, even though they arent the ones in the troubled situations. big things like this, and even small things like one of your friends saying "thats so gay bro" to you, makes feelings about gender and identity have a stigma, and a struggle in which being one of those things is a struggle that you have to hide and not be so sure about. the number one thing that we need to remember is how important it is to trust ourselves, as in situations like these (and like yours) you are the only person who knows how you feel, and who you are attracted to.
 
The biggest and most consistent issue is this imposter syndrome I've got about my attractions, identity, and wether or not it's real or if I'm faking it. This part is definitely affected by OCD (as I've mentioned in the mental health threads)
 
This shouldn't be surprising, for the most
I've got something I'd like to talk about
I usually write poems in my posts
So here's a sonnet for my coming out!
I'm proud to say that I'm not only Ace
But Aro too! I love my sunset pride
I am now ready for a change of pace
And I will not be shoved off to the side.
I've never had a crush, and lust is weird
So it's been hard to truly find a home.
Everyone just says the things I feared:
What make us us are those two things alone.
So no, I'd rather not go on a date
Except on April first. You'll have to wait.

Hey all! This is the essay kind of thing (which will mostly be me rambling but hey, who cares), so if reading that kind of stuff is not your schtick, I'll save you the time.

As it may be someone's first time hearing about aromanticism and asexuality, lemme give a quick explanation.
  • People on the aromantic spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aros [pronounced "arrows"]) don't feel some degree of romantic attraction towards others. For me? I'm completely aromantic, so I just don't romance. I've never had a crush, questioned why kissing was practical (as you can spread quite the number of diseases by putting one mouth on another mouth), always made jokes about how lead characters falling for each other happens everywhere in movies (usually chanting KISS KISS KISS when their faces are close to each other, and then after seeing them kiss, looking away like eeewwwwww wait i didn't mean actually kiss), and have asked my parents numerous times why
  • People on the asexual spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aces) don't feel some degree of sexual attraction towards others. For me, this means I have 0 concept of the term "lust." It just never made sense to me. I've known it was one of the "seven deadly sins," but I've always looked at supposedly hot people like "bruh they're just wearing too much makeup" or "that photoshop is off with proportions here, here, and here." I just view all people as people.
Firstly, I'd like to just say that being aromantic has affected me FAR MORE than being asexual. Here's a little social experiment for you so you can see how.
  1. Hit shuffle on all of your Spotify liked songs. Within the first 3 songs, there will probably be someone singing about a loved one, how pretty they are, how good they are at doing the birdsbeesthing, or being salty about an ex.
  2. Open a new tab, and go to a site with a crap ton of ads (such as Bulbapedia). Look at said ads, and wait 30 seconds. How many of them have something like "hot celebrity divorces" or "find cute chicks near you" or "this dating sim is very very cool"?
  3. Look at the games you have in your STEAM library. How many of them have romance options?
  4. Open up Netflix/Hulu/whatever you watch TV on nowadays. Check your top 5 most recent shows. How many have some form of romance between 2+ characters?
  5. Think back to your school days. When (the dreaded) February 14th rolled around, were you encouraged/forced to write Valentine's Day cards to the classmates you liked?
  6. Have you ever been asked if you liked someone? Like, like liked someone?
Yeah, romance is pretty much ingrained in society. And it makes sense, since, well, none of us would be here if mommy and daddy didn't do the spicy dance together. But yes, aromantics do exist, and this automatic assumption that everyone falls in love is called amatonormativity. It can be quite toxic to the aromantic community, because lmao not all of us fall in love in the first place

Some aros don't mind it, some do, some are like me and only mind when it gets shoved in my face, others don't give a darn. We're all people, bro. If you're worried about making someone uncomfy, just talk to them and ask for their boundaries.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "lmao you're not old enough yet" or "you COULDN'T have never have had a crush. EVERYONE has crushes" or "love is the human emotion, if you can't love you're a robot and you're not a robot haha" kind of jokes. Respectfully, just don't. Thanks. Aros are already erased enough, even by LGBTQ+ communities. Because haha, you don't have to be asexual to be aromantic - think of this as viewing everyone as one-night-stands.

Oh, also, the word "aromantic" (as of this post) is STILL not recognized by most online sources (mmm i hate that dotted red line telling me i meant aromatic. i may smell nice but wrong word, autocorrect! also, i am definitely NOT "a romantic"). If you don't believe me, go to Insta, type out #lgbt, #lgbtq, #asexual, #trans, #gay, #lesbian, #pride and look at those beautiful custom rainbows over the letters. Oh, and then type out #aromantic and stare at nothing.

Regarding being ace, thanks to the work of a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community, I've been fortunate enough to not have been put in a position where I've been expected to have sex, mostly because I've only really "dated" twice. One was in 3rd grade (lmao), and one who I truly regret having to come out as aro to, who never asked for it.

Otherwise, this post has already gotten long enough. I hope you enjoyed my sonnet (i thought it would be comedy gold to use a format meant for love as a way to say lmao imagine falling in love) and I hope you learned something new/had a good review in reading this ramble session.

Happy Pride, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!
 
Shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, but figured I'd also "come out" as biromantic/panromantic anyways.

Sappy stuff but there's this person in my life who really inspires me at the moment, we text fairly regularly and he makes me really happy. This comes off a fairly poor streak of people in my life who developed an interest in me, and also a bit of a reckless phase I had dating-wise. I'm over that, though. Haven't popped the question yet + there's the matter of this being an LDR, but for this person, I'd love to do an LDR. It's worth it. Perfectly content with just being friends, though, but I'll see how it unfolds :)

I fully recognized, accepted and understood I wasn't fully straight romantic-wise around 2019 when I realized that wow, I'd actually date someone who isn't a girl, but that confused me because I liked girls and so I wasn't gay. I was hesitant to put the label on it originally because at the time I was in this headspace of not wanting to say I like everyone, because to me that just sounded weird for some reason. I liked guys on and off since then, but it wasn't until late 2020 where I was like "yeah ok, this label sorta describes me." From there, I sorta kept it private because I had instances in the past where people who are still currently in my life (not by choice) would call me an f word just out of pure malice, and in my head it was just like, "wow, if they'd call me that without knowing, imagine how people would treat me if they knew." But earlier this year, I started being more open about it and decided that those people can go fuck themselves since they don't have anyone else! My sexuality and romantic orientation is amazing and lets me like the person regardless of their body. That's amazing. I'm so proud of it, and while I won't go around broadcasting it, I'm ready to work this into conversation as a part of meeting people because relationships are a very prevalent thing, so why should straight people get to talk about this for free while I can't?

That's all, thx for read, as always feel free to reach out with any questions. No guarantee I'll answer them since I suck at texting, but the offer is there!
 
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