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- Thread starter dhelmise
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just wanted to say i finally came out to my irls as bi. feels very good to just have them be ok with that. also i think this is my first time mentioning that im bi on forums so uhhhh yeah i am !!!
Belated happy pride month! I came out to my (dorms) neighbor today! Hopefully someday I'll be able to come out to my friends too...
Do you usually test the waters to check if they're homo/trans/queerphobic? How do you usually go for it ?
Do you usually test the waters to check if they're homo/trans/queerphobic? How do you usually go for it ?
This shouldn't be surprising, for the most
I've got something I'd like to talk about
I usually write poems in my posts
So here's a sonnet for my coming out!
I'm proud to say that I'm not only Ace
But Aro too! I love my sunset pride
I am now ready for a change of pace
And I will not be shoved off to the side.
I've never had a crush, and lust is weird
So it's been hard to truly find a home.
Everyone just says the things I feared:
What make us us are those two things alone.
So no, I'd rather not go on a date
Except on April first. You'll have to wait.
I've got something I'd like to talk about
I usually write poems in my posts
So here's a sonnet for my coming out!
I'm proud to say that I'm not only Ace
But Aro too! I love my sunset pride
I am now ready for a change of pace
And I will not be shoved off to the side.
I've never had a crush, and lust is weird
So it's been hard to truly find a home.
Everyone just says the things I feared:
What make us us are those two things alone.
So no, I'd rather not go on a date
Except on April first. You'll have to wait.
Hey all! This is the essay kind of thing (which will mostly be me rambling but hey, who cares), so if reading that kind of stuff is not your schtick, I'll save you the time.
As it may be someone's first time hearing about aromanticism and asexuality, lemme give a quick explanation.
Some aros don't mind it, some do, some are like me and only mind when it gets shoved in my face, others don't give a darn. We're all people, bro. If you're worried about making someone uncomfy, just talk to them and ask for their boundaries.
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "lmao you're not old enough yet" or "you COULDN'T have never have had a crush. EVERYONE has crushes" or "love is the human emotion, if you can't love you're a robot and you're not a robot haha" kind of jokes. Respectfully, just don't. Thanks. Aros are already erased enough, even by LGBTQ+ communities. Because haha, you don't have to be asexual to be aromantic - think of this as viewing everyone as one-night-stands.
Oh, also, the word "aromantic" (as of this post) is STILL not recognized by most online sources (mmm i hate that dotted red line telling me i meant aromatic. i may smell nice but wrong word, autocorrect! also, i am definitely NOT "a romantic"). If you don't believe me, go to Insta, type out #lgbt, #lgbtq, #asexual, #trans, #gay, #lesbian, #pride and look at those beautiful custom rainbows over the letters. Oh, and then type out #aromantic and stare at nothing.
Regarding being ace, thanks to the work of a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community, I've been fortunate enough to not have been put in a position where I've been expected to have sex, mostly because I've only really "dated" twice. One was in 3rd grade (lmao), and one who I truly regret having to come out as aro to, who never asked for it.
Otherwise, this post has already gotten long enough. I hope you enjoyed my sonnet (i thought it would be comedy gold to use a format meant for love as a way to say lmao imagine falling in love) and I hope you learned something new/had a good review in reading this ramble session.
Happy Pride, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!
As it may be someone's first time hearing about aromanticism and asexuality, lemme give a quick explanation.
- People on the aromantic spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aros [pronounced "arrows"]) don't feel some degree of romantic attraction towards others. For me? I'm completely aromantic, so I just don't romance. I've never had a crush, questioned why kissing was practical (as you can spread quite the number of diseases by putting one mouth on another mouth), always made jokes about how lead characters falling for each other happens everywhere in movies (usually chanting KISS KISS KISS when their faces are close to each other, and then after seeing them kiss, looking away like eeewwwwww wait i didn't mean actually kiss), and have asked my parents numerous times why
- People on the asexual spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aces) don't feel some degree of sexual attraction towards others. For me, this means I have 0 concept of the term "lust." It just never made sense to me. I've known it was one of the "seven deadly sins," but I've always looked at supposedly hot people like "bruh they're just wearing too much makeup" or "that photoshop is off with proportions here, here, and here." I just view all people as people.
- Hit shuffle on all of your Spotify liked songs. Within the first 3 songs, there will probably be someone singing about a loved one, how pretty they are, how good they are at doing the birdsbeesthing, or being salty about an ex.
- Open a new tab, and go to a site with a crap ton of ads (such as Bulbapedia). Look at said ads, and wait 30 seconds. How many of them have something like "hot celebrity divorces" or "find cute chicks near you" or "this dating sim is very very cool"?
- Look at the games you have in your STEAM library. How many of them have romance options?
- Open up Netflix/Hulu/whatever you watch TV on nowadays. Check your top 5 most recent shows. How many have some form of romance between 2+ characters?
- Think back to your school days. When (the dreaded) February 14th rolled around, were you encouraged/forced to write Valentine's Day cards to the classmates you liked?
- Have you ever been asked if you liked someone? Like, like liked someone?
Some aros don't mind it, some do, some are like me and only mind when it gets shoved in my face, others don't give a darn. We're all people, bro. If you're worried about making someone uncomfy, just talk to them and ask for their boundaries.
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "lmao you're not old enough yet" or "you COULDN'T have never have had a crush. EVERYONE has crushes" or "love is the human emotion, if you can't love you're a robot and you're not a robot haha" kind of jokes. Respectfully, just don't. Thanks. Aros are already erased enough, even by LGBTQ+ communities. Because haha, you don't have to be asexual to be aromantic - think of this as viewing everyone as one-night-stands.
Oh, also, the word "aromantic" (as of this post) is STILL not recognized by most online sources (mmm i hate that dotted red line telling me i meant aromatic. i may smell nice but wrong word, autocorrect! also, i am definitely NOT "a romantic"). If you don't believe me, go to Insta, type out #lgbt, #lgbtq, #asexual, #trans, #gay, #lesbian, #pride and look at those beautiful custom rainbows over the letters. Oh, and then type out #aromantic and stare at nothing.
Regarding being ace, thanks to the work of a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community, I've been fortunate enough to not have been put in a position where I've been expected to have sex, mostly because I've only really "dated" twice. One was in 3rd grade (lmao), and one who I truly regret having to come out as aro to, who never asked for it.
Otherwise, this post has already gotten long enough. I hope you enjoyed my sonnet (i thought it would be comedy gold to use a format meant for love as a way to say lmao imagine falling in love) and I hope you learned something new/had a good review in reading this ramble session.
Happy Pride, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!
Shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, but figured I'd also "come out" as biromantic/panromantic anyways.
Sappy stuff but there's this person in my life who really inspires me at the moment, we text fairly regularly and he makes me really happy. This comes off a fairly poor streak of people in my life who developed an interest in me, and also a bit of a reckless phase I had dating-wise. I'm over that, though. Haven't popped the question yet + there's the matter of this being an LDR, but for this person, I'd love to do an LDR. It's worth it. Perfectly content with just being friends, though, but I'll see how it unfolds :)
I fully recognized, accepted and understood I wasn't fully straight romantic-wise around 2019 when I realized that wow, I'd actually date someone who isn't a girl, but that confused me because I liked girls and so I wasn't gay. I was hesitant to put the label on it originally because at the time I was in this headspace of not wanting to say I like everyone, because to me that just sounded weird for some reason. I liked guys on and off since then, but it wasn't until late 2020 where I was like "yeah ok, this label sorta describes me." From there, I sorta kept it private because I had instances in the past where people who are still currently in my life (not by choice) would call me an f word just out of pure malice, and in my head it was just like, "wow, if they'd call me that without knowing, imagine how people would treat me if they knew." But earlier this year, I started being more open about it and decided that those people can go fuck themselves since they don't have anyone else! My sexuality and romantic orientation is amazing and lets me like the person regardless of their body. That's amazing. I'm so proud of it, and while I won't go around broadcasting it, I'm ready to work this into conversation as a part of meeting people because relationships are a very prevalent thing, so why should straight people get to talk about this for free while I can't?
That's all, thx for read, as always feel free to reach out with any questions. No guarantee I'll answer them since I suck at texting, but the offer is there!
Sappy stuff but there's this person in my life who really inspires me at the moment, we text fairly regularly and he makes me really happy. This comes off a fairly poor streak of people in my life who developed an interest in me, and also a bit of a reckless phase I had dating-wise. I'm over that, though. Haven't popped the question yet + there's the matter of this being an LDR, but for this person, I'd love to do an LDR. It's worth it. Perfectly content with just being friends, though, but I'll see how it unfolds :)
I fully recognized, accepted and understood I wasn't fully straight romantic-wise around 2019 when I realized that wow, I'd actually date someone who isn't a girl, but that confused me because I liked girls and so I wasn't gay. I was hesitant to put the label on it originally because at the time I was in this headspace of not wanting to say I like everyone, because to me that just sounded weird for some reason. I liked guys on and off since then, but it wasn't until late 2020 where I was like "yeah ok, this label sorta describes me." From there, I sorta kept it private because I had instances in the past where people who are still currently in my life (not by choice) would call me an f word just out of pure malice, and in my head it was just like, "wow, if they'd call me that without knowing, imagine how people would treat me if they knew." But earlier this year, I started being more open about it and decided that those people can go fuck themselves since they don't have anyone else! My sexuality and romantic orientation is amazing and lets me like the person regardless of their body. That's amazing. I'm so proud of it, and while I won't go around broadcasting it, I'm ready to work this into conversation as a part of meeting people because relationships are a very prevalent thing, so why should straight people get to talk about this for free while I can't?
That's all, thx for read, as always feel free to reach out with any questions. No guarantee I'll answer them since I suck at texting, but the offer is there!
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hey, so i need some help. how do i come out to my family as bi? i'm confident that they'll accept me, i just cant get over my nerves.
In situations where I'm nervous, in general, I just accept that I am indeed nervous and go along. Denial makes it worse.
Yes, it is scary and there is nothing that you can do about it. So, might as well just go ahead and do it, especially knowing there will be no backlash.
Hey there. Haven't post here since almost one year and a half so heres a quick update.
Still pansexual af, I went for the first time to the pride walk in Nantes (France) with a friend and that was genuinely great. People were so nice during the whole event, haven't seen any run-in or issue, just joy and love. Everything was great, we were almost 13k, I'm looking forward the next one. Also I did my coming-out about my panseuxality to my parents and as excepted they accepted it without any issue !
Happy pride month to your all, take care of yourself + heres our LGBT colors painted stairs in Nantes !
Still pansexual af, I went for the first time to the pride walk in Nantes (France) with a friend and that was genuinely great. People were so nice during the whole event, haven't seen any run-in or issue, just joy and love. Everything was great, we were almost 13k, I'm looking forward the next one. Also I did my coming-out about my panseuxality to my parents and as excepted they accepted it without any issue !
Happy pride month to your all, take care of yourself + heres our LGBT colors painted stairs in Nantes !
Huh. I didn't think I'd be here again anytime soon. I have posted here before, but in all honesty I can't remember where my post was or what it was about. Better late than never, I suppose.
Okay, so. First and foremost, happy pride month, all of you. This user said it better than I could:
So here's the situation at hand. Despite my identification, I have yet to be and am very far from committing to my first true "relationship" of romantic nature. My reasons are twofold. The first and more pressing issue is that some of the grown men I've had the dishonor of watching in public can be... well, not the best people to hang out with if you're a female. Make of this what you will. It's honestly gotten to a point where even if I wasn't straight, I'd still not be interested in the male identity for this reason, because if I'm being perfectly honest, I feel embarrassed as a young man that some of us act the ways we do with women. The second issue is that, despite my age, I've never really been that interested in wanting to be in a relationship to begin with. Sure, there's the embarrassment factor of "I'm this old and have yet to have ever dated someone", but other than this issue that isn't even that big of an issue, there's nothing stopping me from being perfectly content with the fact I am and will likely continue to be single despite my straight identification and age group. Living as more and more of an autistic introvert has only caused this level of content to grow, but that's more of a topic for the neurodiversity thread.
The question I have for you guys, is what would this fall under the umbrella of? Again, I'm not the most educated on your community, but I figured that maybe I could get some extra opinions on this. Who knows?
Okay, so. First and foremost, happy pride month, all of you. This user said it better than I could:
I myself am not a part of this community. I have my own choices and preferences I've made, and I would not want to become one of those people who become... what's the word? "Homophobic"? News flash to the high number of double-standard conservatives I grew up around- personal identity is only one part of a person's life. In any case, this isn't why I'm here. The actual reason I'm here is because me, a young man who identifies as straight, needs your help possibly identifying a unique situation I find myself in. Quite frankly, I didn't know where else to post about this, and from what I've been able to observe, most of you in the LGBTQ+ community are much nicer people than what some of my "peers" might suspect at first. I'm not the most educated in this area, so I appreciate any kind of insight I can get here.
So here's the situation at hand. Despite my identification, I have yet to be and am very far from committing to my first true "relationship" of romantic nature. My reasons are twofold. The first and more pressing issue is that some of the grown men I've had the dishonor of watching in public can be... well, not the best people to hang out with if you're a female. Make of this what you will. It's honestly gotten to a point where even if I wasn't straight, I'd still not be interested in the male identity for this reason, because if I'm being perfectly honest, I feel embarrassed as a young man that some of us act the ways we do with women. The second issue is that, despite my age, I've never really been that interested in wanting to be in a relationship to begin with. Sure, there's the embarrassment factor of "I'm this old and have yet to have ever dated someone", but other than this issue that isn't even that big of an issue, there's nothing stopping me from being perfectly content with the fact I am and will likely continue to be single despite my straight identification and age group. Living as more and more of an autistic introvert has only caused this level of content to grow, but that's more of a topic for the neurodiversity thread.
The question I have for you guys, is what would this fall under the umbrella of? Again, I'm not the most educated on your community, but I figured that maybe I could get some extra opinions on this. Who knows?
well first of all this isn’t the sort of thing we (or anyone, for that matter) can prescribe. maybe you’re some kind of ace maybe you’re straight maybe it’s something else entirely like it was for me. labeling yourself is up to you.
probably my best recommendation would be to find people in a similar spot i guess? some of my closest friends are straight guys who care deeply about respecting the feelings of women, so if you find people like that try getting to know them better. the pokepride discord is also open for allies & questioning people, most of the time we talk about either silly stuff or Serious Social Issues but the users in there tend to be good at answering questions. (edit: you can also pm me on discord city#0310) just see what vibes with you i guess.
there’s no rush to figure any of this out, take as long as you need, it’s your life.
also happy pride everyone lol
Hi everyone!
I'm new here and am in the process of transitioning M2F. I just started HRT and could not be more excited!! Would love to make some great memories on here and meet some cool people. Let's get to know each other friends!
I'm new here and am in the process of transitioning M2F. I just started HRT and could not be more excited!! Would love to make some great memories on here and meet some cool people. Let's get to know each other friends!
my guy, I’ve seen you post this in a couple different threads… just use the advanced search feature when Cong is open, type your name in, and click search. it‘ll pull up all your posts so you can jog that memory of yours and not walk around this place in a constant haze. hope this helps
based on the description of your “situation,” the question is difficult to discern. if you have yet to experience a romantic attraction toward anyone, I can understand how that might seem like you’re “behind” or stand out from other straight guys, but it’s a totally normal thing. there’ve been some great posts on aromantics/asexuality in this thread, maybe you fall under one of those umbrellas.bdt2002 said:
I will flag something about your approach, because you refer to women as “females” which can be offputting for a lot of women. I also recommend not putting so much focus on how you think women will perceive your behavior toward them and just… be yourself? act like someone who you would want to be friends with, and people will naturally gravitate either toward or away from you without you having to filter yourself.
basically if you’re not a dick toward women, they’ll probably pick up on it pretty quickly lol
was this the first year Nantes had a Pride walk?? 13k people is a lot for a first-timer venue, and glad you enjoyed itHey there. Haven't post here since almost one year and a half so heres a quick update.
Still pansexual af, I went for the first time to the pride walk in Nantes (France) with a friend and that was genuinely great. People were so nice during the whole event, haven't seen any run-in or issue, just joy and love. Everything was great, we were almost 13k, I'm looking forward the next one. Also I did my coming-out about my panseuxality to my parents and as excepted they accepted it without any issue !
Happy pride month to your all, take care of yourself + heres our LGBT colors painted stairs in Nantes !
my own Pride experiences (the music festival at West Hollywood Pride, Hollywood Pride last weekend…) have been a damn whirlwind, so I’m taking the rest of June to chill out and recover lest my liver disintegrate on the spot
happy Pride x
I don't think so but last 2 years were kinda akward due to covid-19. 2020 Pride was basically canceled because of it (since we weren't allowed to do large meetups of people) and 2021 Pride was quite limited for the same reason. So this was basically the first real Pride since covid so people were quite motivated to do the whole event !
I found this quick video which shows some footages from the Pride :]
It appears as though I’ve caused a bit of confusion here. I’d like to apologize for that for one, and while I’m at it I’d also like to apologize for that part about referring to women as “females”, as was pointed out. I think what I was trying to say there was anyone who carries a female identity with them. Regardless of what a person calls themself, I don’t have any plans on treating them badly.my guy, I’ve seen you post this in a couple different threads… just use the advanced search feature when Cong is open, type your name in, and click search. it‘ll pull up all your posts so you can jog that memory of yours and not walk around this place in a constant haze. hope this helps
based on the description of your “situation,” the question is difficult to discern. if you have yet to experience a romantic attraction toward anyone, I can understand how that might seem like you’re “behind” or stand out from other straight guys, but it’s a totally normal thing. there’ve been some great posts on aromantics/asexuality in this thread, maybe you fall under one of those umbrellas.
I will flag something about your approach, because you refer to women as “females” which can be offputting for a lot of women. I also recommend not putting so much focus on how you think women will perceive your behavior toward them and just… be yourself? act like someone who you would want to be friends with, and people will naturally gravitate either toward or away from you without you having to filter yourself.
basically if you’re not a dick toward women, they’ll probably pick up on it pretty quickly lol
I do appreciate the help and would like to re-iterate that my strange posts here are partially to blame on the kind of environment I grew up in. Saying things in the way I do has become more of a force of habit that anything else, and I get that sometimes that might not be the best outcome.
Hi I'm coming out of the closet in front of my friends now wish me luck thanks.
looks pretty beautiful! the Pride merch, fetish gear, drag makeup/costumes looked great as well. happy for your community!
I've been thinking quite a bit about how my family would react if/when I eventually come out (probably when I'm in my 20s or something) as not only asexual, but nonbinary/genderfluid. I mean, I doubt I'd physically transition because that'd be changing my body far more than I'm comfortable with, and I still usually use she/her pronouns so it might be easier for them since it wouldn't be too drastic of a change I guess. But I still think my parents would struggle with it and probably won't even believe I'm actually nonbinary (to be fair, how could they when I'm constantly questioning if I'm truly nonbinary or ace myself?). I've tried talking about being ace with my mom in the past and her response was basically that I was too young to know So I can only imagine how well coming out as nonbinary would go...
I'm planning to see my therapist soon and I'm thinking about talking to him about my concerns, but...I'm really scared he's going to ask questions about it. And that I'm going to be revealing that I'm not a """typical trans person""" (a bit more context in my first post in this thread). And what if he's going to think I'm not truly trans? Would he be right? Honestly, my stomach twists thinking about him just asking questions. I keep imagining him saying something like, "But you never showed signs as a child?" or "But you never seemed uncomfortable being a girl?" or "But you told me you don't have a lot of dysphoria, how could you be trans?"
ughhhhh why is this stuff so hard? I just want to exist
I'm planning to see my therapist soon and I'm thinking about talking to him about my concerns, but...I'm really scared he's going to ask questions about it. And that I'm going to be revealing that I'm not a """typical trans person""" (a bit more context in my first post in this thread). And what if he's going to think I'm not truly trans? Would he be right? Honestly, my stomach twists thinking about him just asking questions. I keep imagining him saying something like, "But you never showed signs as a child?" or "But you never seemed uncomfortable being a girl?" or "But you told me you don't have a lot of dysphoria, how could you be trans?"
ughhhhh why is this stuff so hard? I just want to exist
Sorry boys, girls, and everyone that resides in the genders between, but pride month is now over, being gay is strictly illegal under penalty of being fined a cat picture.
Coming out to my friends was a great success. I picked a private time where only two of the closest friends in that group were on, and came out to them in voice chat. They were very indifferent about it but generally supportive and promised to continue treating me the same as always! One friend even offered to change the pronouns/name he addresses me. Thank you guys for your advices and stories!
just wanted to mention that clinicians, unless specializing in sexual health of trans people, have almost always missed the boat on using proper language/practices when treating me. when i’ve been in the hands of someone aware and in-tune with the needs of the Queer community, the visits have been exceptional! all of that to say that you know who you are and your feelings on your own body, sexuality, and gender identity are valid, even if you lack all of the right language yourself to describe it to someone else. furthermore, non-binary is under the transgender umbrella, or at least the metaphorical one we use to describe it to idiot redditors/family:
gender non-conforming is transgender because it’s not cisgender;
any gender identity outside of the gender binary is transgender because it’s cisgender.
so claim that you in your totality are still whole and worthy of being honest with your therapist, even if they won’t completely understand you. you’re not even fully sure yourself, so how could someone else be? and that’s fine.
Okay, so I am fairly uneducated in this department so please forgive me if I state wrong information or come off as rude.
A pal of mine recently came out as gay to me. Now, normally I don't care what you do in the bedroom, but in order to support him better I decided to learn some terminology. (I do realize that coming out is a big deal, and I am proud of anyone who has the courage to do so)
Why are there so many sexualities? I have heard of so many terms for what seems to me as the same thing. Demisexual, Allosexual, Cupiosexual, Grayromantic, and Gynesexual all seem to me like terms I've heard before. (Gay, Bi, Ace)
So what I want to know is why are there so many terms for (what seems to to me) the same thing?
I would like to apologize if I offended anybody and/or made a complete mockery of myself.
A pal of mine recently came out as gay to me. Now, normally I don't care what you do in the bedroom, but in order to support him better I decided to learn some terminology. (I do realize that coming out is a big deal, and I am proud of anyone who has the courage to do so)
Why are there so many sexualities? I have heard of so many terms for what seems to me as the same thing. Demisexual, Allosexual, Cupiosexual, Grayromantic, and Gynesexual all seem to me like terms I've heard before. (Gay, Bi, Ace)
So what I want to know is why are there so many terms for (what seems to to me) the same thing?
I would like to apologize if I offended anybody and/or made a complete mockery of myself.
hi there!
there are generally nuanced differences between these terms that are useful for some situations.
for example, if a non-binary person is into women, they aren't lesbian (which is women/women) or straight (men/women), so gynosexual/gynesexual (just "into women") is useful. (that's not the only use of gynosexual, just one that is easy to explain)
"allosexual" is a useful antonym to "asexual"; saying someone is "sexual" could imply they have a high sex drive, which isnt true of "all people with some sort of sexual attraction." "allosexual" prevents confusion and makes clear you mean "all people with some sort of sexual attraction"
demisexual doesn't work like gay/bi/ace: it doesn't signify what genders you're attracted to, it means that your sexual attraction (whoever it applies to) comes in after a prior tight emotional bond
etc
(i dont identify as all of these terms so apologies if i made a mistake in reference to one)
edit: unless there’s some kind of joke i’m missing, does anyone in angry react crew wanna explain what they’re angry about? if i messed something up, id love to hear about it, but negative reacts without explaining doesn’t help our original asker at all)
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recommend reading Monique Wittig, "On the Straight Mind":
"
Wittig identified herself as a radical lesbian. In her work The Straight Mind, she argued that lesbians are not women because to be a lesbian is to step outside of the heterosexual norm of women, as defined by men for men's ends.
A theorist of materialist feminism, she stigmatised the myth of "the woman", called heterosexuality a political regime, and outlined the basis for a social contract which lesbians refuse.
"
So, while I do not derive all of Wittig's conclusions from the same lines she takes, I do take up with her thinking in so as I do not see an opposition between being non-binary and being a lesbian or identifying as a 'gay man' and as non-binary. In fact, I believe that the experience of same gender attraction (homosexuality) can be a key experience that causes someone to feel that their gender does not fit neatly into the binary regime.
Nor do I agree with the way of thinking that derives what it means to be a lesbian or w.e solely according to a sex->gender->desire (sexuality) type set of syllogisms as I believe this way of thinking is based on exerting control over ppl and obfuscating that heterosexuality is a regime for controlling bodies.
Finally, it is simply not true according to the everyday use of these terms. There are just a billion non-binary lesbians out there. There are starting to more and more non-binary ppl who date gay men and identify as gay. Thus, to me, when you say "Only women and not non-binary people can be lesbians" you appear to not know or to be mistaken about what non-binary means or else mistaken about how the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' are commonly deployed.
it was this one. i wasn't aware that 'gay' and 'lesbian' are commonly deployed by nb people. my bad! thanks, now i know
yea def agree
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