best opening lines upon meeting someone

[sheepie]

I only want the best of the best, as an autistic person I often have difficulty with social situations, and something as basic or bland as "hi, my name is" or "what's up" often fails, particularly after I scald them for not recognising I was in fact quizzing them on the beloved movie "Up". Instead I've found solace in opening conversations with something along the lines of "greetings and salutations fellow humanoid earthling" or "hey look I have a badge on smogon.com", both of these often result in immediate swooning and/or asking for signatures, but they have been getting a bit old. Please, enlighten me of the best ways to open conversations, would be thoroughly appreciated and failure to comply will result in the little plate in your microwave unrelatedly disappearing.

 

[solrock the great]

"do you like women"

 

[mysticmarshtomp]

ya like jazz?

 

[chroma_2903]

works every time

 

[bdt2002]

“When I was your age, I sat on a banana, and that, of course, changed my life.”

 

[phoopes]

 

[Blizihguh]

Phoopes's idea is actually deeper than it seems at first blush. Really any John Mulaney bit will work. I've seen the most success by walking up to someone and singing "What's New Pussycat" seven times in a row.

 

[sheepie]

Okay I have a new line, thank to you all: "at first, when I was your age, and homeless but not yet gay, I was going to ask "ya like jazz", however, after an incident being pushed on the street by someone singing What's New Pussycat, I now am firmly interested in whether or not you could carry my geiger counter over there? if you like women, this will click once ur new in town?" did I do good?

 

[Don Vascus]

say "Hello!" enthusiastically multiple times, like "Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!"

 

[Dead by Daylight]

hi, welcome to my kingdom

 

[RedShiftS]

Hi, welcome to the city of shadow

 

[TheMantyke]

I extend long normals that are difficult to punish at range and see how they react.

 

[natalia]

my name jeff

 

[Allen "Bottles" Graham]

When introducing yourself to strangers for the first time, you should ask them their favorite competitive Pokémon format

 

[Dabob95]

"Hark thy noble stranger, how art thou on this divine morn?" should work well, especially on those from the 15th century.

 

[Just A Shroom God]

Are you a trainer, too?! When trainer's eyes meet, it's time for a battle!

 

[RainWaiv]

"so who do you main in guilty gear?"
tells you a lot about a person.
if they actually tell you their main it means they hate having fun
unless their main is bridget in which case it means they're annoying
if they ask what guilty gear is then they're normal
and if they tell you guilty gear sucks and that you should play blazblue instead they're a real one

 

[RainWaiv]

"so who do you main in guilty gear?"
tells you a lot about a person.
if they actually tell you their main it means they hate having fun
unless their main is bridget in which case it means they're annoying
if they ask what guilty gear is then they're normal
and if they tell you guilty gear sucks and that you should play blazblue instead they're a real one

oh yeah also potemkin mains should not be spoken to under any circumstance

 

[vishy fishy]

Are u bread? Bc u look like bread.