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Emergency Situations

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use my amazing lawer-esque skills to persuade them that i had nothing to do with the body, and that the whole thing was a misunderstanding. i haven't played tons of phoenix wright games for nothing!

you're trapped in a small room with no windows or furniture, and the door is locked. morm and lanturn are in there with you, and they're video chatting 18 hours a day even though they're standing 3 feet away. you consider suicude, but there's nothing around that you could plausibly end your life with. what do you do?
 
Annoy them enough so they murder you.

You find yourself on a airplane with both the pilots dead and ask you if you'll try and land the plane despite the fact you can't fly or land a plane at all. What do you do?
 
34ysd2c.jpg


Applied to the plane.

got 6-0d by a CBcaterpie's tackle. How do I become pokemaster?
 
Snap the chain. HA, see what I did there, I'm like so funny lolololololololol.

A Teenage girl spams your IRC channel with teenage girl talk (ie. abbreviating everything). She's actually a hacker, and you can't kick her out. What do you do?

(No, I'm not a teenage girl)
 
Realize that girls don't actually exist on the Internet.

All Internet trolls have been exiled to a different dimension, but you got exiled there too! You killed yourself, but have come back as a zombie. What do you do?
 
Iggdrasil said:
Pretend to be Micheal Jackson
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You are riding a pony, and you are surrounded by several thousand hungry tigers. You have no weapons of any sort, and you have never fought before.
 
NatGeo said:
You are riding a pony, and you are surrounded by several thousand hungry tigers. You have no weapons of any sort, and you have never fought before.
Click to expand...

You trained your pony in the martial arts a couple months ago, didn't you?

You walk home from school one day to the same house you go to everyday. The one you have lived in since you were 3. But you walk in on a different family. They still treat you like their son/daughter. They are richer than your last family and spoil you more but they force you to do more work around the house. GOD that must be awful! what do you do?
 
Ask them for enough money to buy a butler, which they comply.

All liquids in the world, including saliva, have become either human semen / urine.
 
Takes a camera and starts making videos for porn industry to make millions.
Or get a very big tube sock.

You must choose to ethier sleep with oprah or get curved stomp but skin heads.
 
Vader said:
Suicide
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You are in a room with absolutely no exits whatsoever, and the only things to eat and drink are the world's hottest pepper and the world's hottest pepper sauce, respectively.
 
NatGeo said:
You are in a room with absolutely no exits whatsoever, and the only things to eat and drink are the world's hottest pepper and the world's hottest pepper sauce, respectively.
Click to expand...

I use the pepper sauce to melt the walls down.

You are on the top floor of the Empire State Building when the floor below you bursts into flames. Get out without using troll physics.
 
NeilKosugi said:
I use the pepper sauce to melt the walls down.

You are on the top floor of the Empire State Building when the floor below you bursts into flames. Get out without using troll physics.
Click to expand...

A plane has obviously crashed into it. Jump out the window and hope that the huge pile of ash, rubble, and bodies will cushion your fall.

It didn't.
 
Pray for reconciliation as you fall.

You are in a room with two extremely hot bisexual girls, but they are both wearing chastity belts, and every hole in their body is covered. You cannot uncover them, and the keys to the belts have been destroyed.
Did I mention you three are handcuffed together for life?
 
Enjoy it, and then rape them back.

You're extremely horny, at same time 12 year old wants to have sex with you. What to do?
 
Remember you're the size of the pizza, right?

irl, You are in a car speeding towards the rim of the Grand Canyon, conveniently with no guard rail to stop you. The seat belt you are wearing is jammed, you can't contact anyone (and no one is following you), all the doors in the cars are locked with windows up, and, lastly, your foot is strapped to the gas pedal. wat do
 
You land on a cushion, next to an oasis containing: A house of fine women, a lifetime's supply of fine chocolates, and everything else in life.

You can't get out of the car.
 
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