Serious Falling In Love

ok lgi

so for the most part my social interactions irl have been limited to other boys. however a couple of years ago i sat next to this girl in a class. she was really nice and pretty smart too, and we talked a lot over the course of the year. nothing really came out of it but she still smiles and waves at me when we see each other in the halls.

so i've started to like her more, and besides that she really feels like the only girl i have the courage to talk to (as you might have guessed i'm not very good at this stuff). i have considered telling her about my feelings for her but i haven't really thought of the best way to do that yet.

see, the thing is that i haven't had much of an opportunity to talk to her. i usually only see her in the short time between classes and when she's with her friends. additionally, i don't really know the best way to say what i'm trying to say. should i just say it directly or what? that's why i want to know the best course of action for this situation. thanks.
First of all, DONT tell her you're in love out of the blue, its weird and it usually doesnt work, especially if you two aren't that close.

That being said, you definitely should try to arrange a date like AkaiTenshi said. You've said you can see her in the time between classes, that should be more than enough time to talk to her at least once a week. Just try to talk about whatever (for example: how did your holidays go?), and try to figure out what stuff she is interested in so you can arrange a date to do something together. Also remember to do it naturally, if you approach her and try to separate her from her friends by saying ''hey can we talk for a minute'' they'll probably react negatively, but if you just talk to her directly (like you would do with any other person) then her friends won't mind at all.

Also I dont know how old you are or what people in your school use to communicate (instagram? snapchat?) but having another way to talk to her could be positive as well. But remember than talking to her in person is better (and you shouldnt stop doing it even if you start talking to her on snapchat), though used correctly message apps can also help.
 

lighthouses

Chasing after dreamers in the clouds
is a Tiering Contributor
Pleeeeeease for the love of god just be natural. People seem to have this notion that you need to approach these situations with some sort of gameplan and thats definitely untrue. Im not saying you should sit on your ass and expect something to happen but that you should take it easy and be yourself.I know that what im saying sounds cliche but if you want something legitimate out of this you shouldnt over complicate things, ask her out if you want to go out with her and try to have fun, make it simple.
 
I recently was hanging out with my lifelong friend and decided to fess up about my feelings for her. I have to give her all the props I can for being real mature about it. Turns out I'm just viewed as a brother figure. Not exactly the ideal result but it feels good to have an answer. Plus being told that just makes me feel like a closer friend, so honestly, anything she could've said would've been fine by me as long as we were still cool. Which we are.

Of course, that just means my hopes of finding somebody soon are flushed away.
 
I recently was hanging out with my lifelong friend and decided to fess up about my feelings for her. I have to give her all the props I can for being real mature about it. Turns out I'm just viewed as a brother figure. Not exactly the ideal result but it feels good to have an answer. Plus being told that just makes me feel like a closer friend, so honestly, anything she could've said would've been fine by me as long as we were still cool. Which we are.

Of course, that just means my hopes of finding somebody soon are flushed away.
Nah now you can get her help setting you up, without fear of messing up something between you.
 
I mean, that is a thing though....

I absolutely disagree. I feel like the "friendzone" exist purely for men to place THEMSELVES in when women whom they're close too deny any romantic advances. There's nothing wrong with that. It could exist, and if it doesn't I wouldn't call it the 'friend zone' as much as the "she has a right to not date you just because you treat her nice" zone
 
I absolutely disagree. I feel like the "friendzone" exist purely for men to place THEMSELVES in when women whom they're close too deny any romantic advances. There's nothing wrong with that. It could exist, and if it doesn't I wouldn't call it the 'friend zone' as much as the "she has a right to not date you just because you treat her nice" zone
The right to not date you just because you treat her nice? So the 'friendzone' is just a label for the guys that aren't assholes to women?

lol Don't think that reason is because that friendship blocked off any romantic interest? That they may have grown close enough to consider themselves "brother/sister" and starting anything following such is too awkward to bother?
 
Many Men, Myself included, Have gotten romantic with women we've been close with for years.

There's no "Friend Zone". It's an excuse that men who feel entitled to a woman they devoted time to use. That's where I'll leave this, since we're apparently not going to agree that women have a right to reject / deny a man who treats them right of romance / sex.
 
Many Men, Myself included, Have gotten romantic with women we've been close with for years.

There's no "Friend Zone". It's an excuse that men who feel entitled to a woman they devoted time to use. That's where I'll leave this, since we're apparently not going to agree that women have a right to reject / deny a man who treats them right of romance / sex.
Totally aggre if you like a girl/man and you stay in the corner to see what's happen the result will be he or she will find someone else because you don't know how to cross the line between friendshipe and relationship...

if ur in the friend zone that just means ur not hot enough for her to want u
Lmao, it's just mean you need an excuse to your non courage to ask her/him for a date. That's all every girls I liked I asked her for a date and nothing else I wanted to be with her as a BF not as a friend.
 
Totally aggre if you like a girl/man and you stay in the corner to see what's happen the result will be he or she will find someone else because you don't know how to cross the line between friendshipe and relationship...
Exactly, if you don't know how to cross the line into a relationship, it's your own fault not hers/his. I'm really tired of seeing men pull this shit. "She won't Date / Sleep with me, what a cunt. I would treat her so fucking good." Okay but dating someone / sleeping with someone shouldn't be a requirement to "treating them so fucking good.".
 
Exactly, if you don't know how to cross the line into a relationship, it's your own fault not hers/his. I'm really tired of seeing men pull this shit. "She won't Date / Sleep with me, what a cunt. I would treat her so fucking good." Okay but dating someone / sleeping with someone shouldn't be a requirement to "treating them so fucking good.".
And sometimes to cross that line you need to take some risks, no pain, no gain that's all.
 
That's really steering away from the matter of the friendzone being a thing. No one is saying "She won't let me in her pants? Let me slap a friendzone label on this to make it look better" or "Fuck I'm scared to make a move, guess I'm friendzoned"

Literally one person is looking for a romantic advance while the other prefers a platonic relationship. It's not an excuse for anything, it's just what it is. You're being denied a sexual relationship because the partner in question is locked in on remaining friends.
 
Alright we're done with this line of discussion because we're getting off track. For one reason or another friend zone has become emotionally charged rhetoric that means different things to different people. Some are entitled, some scared, others have a poor sense of timing, others still are rejected for some simple reason or circumstance. The issue is more complicated than any one interpretation and context is relevant; as someone who has pursued multiple relationships with friends with varying degrees of success I can attest to that. Move on.
 
Speaking as someone who has fallen in love and is a big nerd I can tell you that it is something that can for the most part be only experienced and not easily explained. It’s one thing to be hard crushing on a girl in your uni class, it’s another thing to have those feelings reciprocated. However, it’s a whole other thing for it to go somewhere and to have an actual chemistry between each other and be able to spend several hours without it getting dry or have a conversation.

It was the happiest time of my life and yet I can tell you that it was blinding me away from the fact that she was a hardcore catholic and that it wasn’t going to work out. And in the end I didn’t take the breakup well at all like most people don’t take their first breakup. Such is life; anyway, that’s my story. Sorry if things aren’t working out for you OP
 

ant

blessed
is a member of the Site Staffis a Battle Server Administratoris a Community Leaderis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Community Leader
Honestly, I never thought I’d post here. I’ve been in other relationships, but for the first time in forever I feel like I've found the true meaning of falling in love. I’ve never been so happy and for once, I’ve found someone that is willing to reciprocate and that knows that a relationship is made of two parts. We don’t get to see each other much, sadly, but I feel like that’s a non-issue because we will work it out against all odds. He knows me and understands me, and we’ve learned to balance our differences and similarities to complement each other.

For those who are afraid of talking to others, I encourage you to do so. You’ll go through rejections and heartbreaks. And it will hurt like hell, but it will also lead you to something better, whether it’s a relationship, a crush, new friendships, not to mention you’ll also find new feelings that you haven’t encountered yet and you’ll learn things about yourself. :heart:
 
I hate falling in love because the fear of it coming to an end is always on the back of my mind. It can be the greatest feeling you'll ever experience but at the same time, the pain that comes with it is equally hurtful and damaging to the point it can be unbearable. The times I felt "in love" were unique and nothing like anything before but when it was lost, so was I.

It's like a drug/hobby of yours: I love weed so much but when I smoke up, I can't stand it because it is gone and what feelings I had when smoking it are replaced with loss and sadness. =[
 

A

last hope
is a Live Chat Contributor
I don't generally post here but I wanted to express these thoughts.

Not gonna lie.

I've been in that "best friend" cliche situation and I got my hopes absolutely trampled. That's all fine now though, that was a while back, and she's in good hands rn. I did believe in the friend zone at first, but realistically I was just being petty and bitter so I stopped believing in that shortly after.

Last year I was also really keen on trying for someone, but I've messed up quite a few more times than I want to admit. Definitely did not deserve them though.

Ever since that, I've pretty much stopped trying and instead to focus on rebuilding my self and improving what I am. Although I gotta say, with couples flaunting around my vicinity left and right, it does invoke the emotion of longing, but I guess that's how the cookie crumbles.
 

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