First Warstory

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Hello Smogon Community, I'm new to the forums obviously. I would like to share a warstory of a very close battle I just played. It was very fun and extremely exciting, lots of turns I felt. Well here are the teams...

WinstonShnozwick's Team; (Protagonist)
376.png
598.png
395.png
609.png
479-c.gif
478.png

VS

Cosbykid's Team;
142.png
212.png
149.png
385.png
135.png
350.png


The battle was on the pokemon online server because smogon was down today, however it was on wifi so basically OU. The team I currently have is still in it's beta stages, I've been playing with it for hours today and have won many battles, keeping a ranking above 1000. So to start the battle!
/rant

My thoughts
My team's actions
Opponent's team's actions


Battle between Cosbykid and WinstonShnozwick started!

Tier: Wifi
Variation: +16, -16
Rule: Rated
Rule: Sleep Clause
Rule: Species Clause
Rule: Wifi Battle

Right away from the team preview I knew almost certainly that the opponent would send out aerodactyl, being a common stealth rock lead. I decided to send out one of my own setup pokemon, Empoleon, which I knew couldn't be hurt by anything the common Aerodactyl carries, as well as being able to KO it with my STAB Scald.

WinstonShnozwick sent out Empoleon!
Cosbykid sent out Aerodactyl!
The foe's Aerodactyl is exerting its Pressure

395.png
(100%) VS
142.png
(100%)

Start of turn 1
The foe's Aerodactyl used Taunt!
Empoleon fell for the taunt!


Empoleon used Scald!
It's super effective!
The foe's Aerodactyl lost 99% of its health!
The foe's Aerodactyl hung on using its focus sash!


From past experiences being taunted by Aerodactyl and failing to set up, I decided to go the direct route and attack, predicting the taunt. Focus sash was no surprise, I was only going to let him lay rocks or attack, but not both.

395.png
(100%) VS
142.png
(1%)

Start of turn 2
The foe's Aerodactyl used Stealth Rock!
Pointed stones float in the air around WinstonShnozwick's team!


Empoleon used Scald!
It's super effective!The foe's Aerodactyl lost 0% of its health!
The foe's Aerodactyl fainted!


Cosbykid sent out Jolteon!
395.png
(100%) VS
142.png
(0%) -->
135.png
(100%)

Start of turn 3
WinstonShnozwick called Empoleon back!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Rotom-Grin! (Rotom-C)
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-Grin!


The foe's Jolteon used Volt Switch!
It's not very effective...
A critical hit!
Rotom-Grin lost 57 HP! (23% of its health)

Cosbykid called Jolteon back!
Cosbykid sent out Scizor!


Ahh! I wasn't going to stay in for a potential KO from his electric move. I didn't want to hurt any of my pokemon yet, so I switched to Rotom-C for the resisted damage, aided by his defenses. However I didn't think it would be volt switch, preferably thunderbolt. However, I pack HP Fire for stuff like this.

395.png
(100%) -->
479-c.gif
(64.5%) VS
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(100%) -->
212.png
(100%)

Start of turn 4
Rotom-Grin used Hidden Power!
It's super effective!
The foe's Scizor lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Scizor fainted!


Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!

Rotom, you are amazing! I expected an SDef Scizor variant but today was a lucky day. Rotom is simply beautiful, he can do anything you want him to. Every team deserves to have a Rotom varient. It was the awesomeness of the cut form that slayed Scizor, no one can handle that grin. Oh and haha screw you and your priority kills!

479-c.gif
(64.5%) VS
212.png
(0%) -->
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(100%)

Start of turn 5
WinstonShnozwick called Rotom-Grin back!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Empoleon!
Pointed stones dug into Empoleon!

The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!


Empoleon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Cursed Dragonite, to always annoy me. This probably isn't a parashuffling set thank gods. I've been swept by this monstrosity too well before to let it happen again. Rotom is useless anyway with a choiced HP Fire, and Empoleon is exactly the one for the job now.

479-c.gif
(64.5%) -->
395.png
(100%) VS
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(100%)

Start of turn 6
Cosbykid called Dragonite back!
Cosbykid sent out Milotic!


Empoleon used Roar!
The foe's Jolteon was dragged out!

First off, I'm glad that he didn't attack and also confused why he wasted his boosts like that. And then I'm angry I didn't get time to set up stealth rock from my penguin yet. But **** this Jolteon, he's going to be an annoyance with his speed if I don't clear him out.

395.png
(100%) VS
149.png
(100%) -->
350.png
(100%) -->
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(100%)

Start of turn 7
WinstonShnozwick called Empoleon back!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Rotom-Grin! (Rotom-C)
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-Grin!


The foe's Jolteon used Volt Switch!
It's not very effective...
Rotom-Grin lost 29 HP! (12% of its health)

Cosbykid called Jolteon back!
Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!

Reuse the old tactic, when in doubt, Rotom is your answer. Another Volt Switch and to the Dnite again. However, this time the shoe is on the other foot, I'm not choice locked yet. Dragonite, you will not make me ragequit this time!

395.png
(100%) -->
479-c.gif
(40%) VS
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(100%) -->
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(100%)

Start of turn 8
Rotom-Grin used Trick!
Rotom-Grin switched items with the foe's Dragonite!
Rotom-Grin obtained one Leftovers!
The foe's Dragonite obtained one Choice Scarf!

The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Rotom-Grin lost 95 HP! (39% of its health)
Rotom-Grin fainted!

WinstonShnozwick sent out Shandara! (Chandelure)
Pointed stones dug into Shandara!

Oh Dragonite, Rotom has some final words; Trollolol" Thanks for the free switch, chubby. I'm glad Dnite won't be setting up on me for this game, Rotom always makes my life easier.

479-c.gif
(0%) -->
609.png
(75%) VS
149.png
(100%)

Start of turn 9
Cosbykid called Dragonite back!
Cosbykid sent out Milotic!


Shandara used Energy Ball!
It's super effective!
The foe's Milotic lost 41% of its health!
The foe's Milotic's Sp. Def. fell!


The foe's Milotic's Flame Orb activated!
The foe's Milotic was burned!
609.png
(75%) VS
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(100%) -->
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(48.5%)

Start of turn 10
Cosbykid called Milotic back!
Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!


Shandara used Energy Ball!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Dragonite lost 3% of its health!

Ten Round Count:

Winston;
376.png
(100%)
598.png
(100%)
395.png
(100%)
609.png
(75%)
479-c.gif
(0%)
478.png
(100%)
Cosbykid;
142.png
(0%)
212.png
(0%)
149.png
(97%)
385.png
(100%)
135.png
(100%)
350.png
(48.5%)

At this point I feel relatively secure, with his Dragonite not able to set up a sweep, which I consider the biggest threat. Scizor being out so quick is a plus, and I'm glad that the Milotic is weakened, I just hope I can stop it from recovering, because as an avid Milotic owner, I know very well how bulky she can be, ESPECIALLY the Flame Orb Marvel Scale variant. Jolteon could be a pain if he starts wearing down my team with Volt Switches to that bulky dragon. Jirachi, not yet showing an appearance in the battle, is a danger I will have to be wary for. I refuse to go down to a completely unfair ParaHax sweep from that demon spawn.

609.png
(75%) VS
350.png
(48.5%) -->
149.png
(97%)

Start of turn 11
WinstonShnozwick called Shandara back!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Froslass!
Pointed stones dug into Froslass!


The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!


Cosbykid: it wont let me attack

Ohoho, he fell right into my trap. I was going to Destiny Bond for an easy KO since he's a bit too bulky for my team's well being. But it looks like he made a nub move there, so it's time to set up what I can. (Rotom you are the best)

609.png
(75%) -->
478.png
(75%) VS
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(97%)

Start of turn 12
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!


Froslass used Substitute!
Froslass made a substitute!


WinstonShnozwick: lol
Cosbykid: oh i missed that lol

Excuse me?! He's either a misunderstood genius or someone's a bit stupid. Froslass begins her set up. Multiscale is broken, so my plan will be to start Hail and KO Dnite with a x4 150 base power Weather Ball. He won't know what hit him. (Note that Froslass is more of a testing concept for the last few battles, I recently replaced Gengar with her because I'm sick of weather wars, no one sees a late game Hail.)

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(50% + Sub) VS
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(97%)

Start of turn 13
Cosbykid called Dragonite back!
Cosbykid sent out Milotic!


WinstonShnozwick: I <3 rotom

Froslass used Hail!
A hailstorm brewed!


Hail continues to fall!
The foe's Milotic is buffeted by the hail!
The foe's Milotic is hurt by its burn!

478.png
(50% + Sub) VS
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(97%) -->
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(29.75%)

Start of turn 14
Froslass used Weather Ball!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Milotic lost 11% of its health!


The foe's Milotic used Scald!
Froslass's substitute faded!

Hail continues to fall!
The foe's Milotic is buffeted by the hail!
The foe's Milotic is hurt by its burn!

I knew I wasn't going to keep a free stride going, but Froslass isn't leaving just yet with all her work. It wasn't very smart to forget about Recover. Now Milotic is dead bait. See what I did there? Milotic has no more porpoise. There's no way to kelp her situation. That's anemone down again.

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(50%) VS
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(1%)

Start of turn 15
Froslass used Weather Ball!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Milotic lost 10% of its health!
The foe's Milotic fainted!


Hail continues to fall!
Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!


478.png
(50%) VS
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(0%) -->
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(97%)

Start of turn 16
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Froslass lost 141 HP! (50% of its health)
Froslass fainted!


Hail continues to fall!
The foe's Dragonite is buffeted by the hail!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Shandara! (Chandelure)
Pointed stones dug into Shandara!


What the heck?! Froslass is definately faster than that awkwardly cute dragon! I was just going to Destiny Bond him for the riskless kill but then this happe- ...Later I realized that Rotom is a double edged machine sometimes, I can't be too careful when choosing who to give a SPEED boost to. *facepalm*

478.png
(0%) -->
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(50%) VS
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(90.75%)

Start of turn 17
Cosbykid called Dragonite back!
Cosbykid sent out Jolteon!


Shandara used Flamethrower!
The foe's Jolteon lost 77% of its health!
The foe's Jolteon was burned!


The hail subsided!
The foe's Jolteon is hurt by its burn!

There wasn't much I could do here in terms of switching besides Chandelure. He's got a choice locked fire resistance from ol scarfy at the moment and it would be completely stupid to switch to one of my surviving pokemon that are all fire weak (sides Empoleon). I didn't need to tell you guys this, sorry, redundancy. Free switch is the sum of this turn. But I can see now that he must think that his Dragonite is what can give him the win, so he's not going to let it get hurt if necessary. Jolteon is going down now though, thanks to the hax gods. My luck has been nothing but good so far.

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(50%) VS
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(90.75%) -->
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(10.5%)Start of turn 18
The foe's Jolteon used Volt Switch!
Shandara lost 131 HP! (50% of its health)
Shandara fainted!

Cosbykid called Jolteon back!
Cosbykid sent out Jirachi!


WinstonShnozwick sent out Ferrothorn!
Pointed stones dug into Ferrothorn!

Arhg, what a dick move. But he's only prolonged his fate. Now Rachi is out with his infinitely irritating hax. I don't want to risk Empoleon to a thunder strike or Metagross because of his tankiness just yet, so Ferrothorn is up to the stand. Hopefully I can get a leech seed stall and just manage to kill Jirachi. Lets see how this goes.

609.png
(0%) -->
598.png
(93.75%) VS
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(10.5%) -->
385.png
(100%)

Start of turn 19
Cosbykid called Jirachi back!
Cosbykid sent out Jolteon!


Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
The foe's Jolteon was seeded!
The foe's Jolteon's health is sapped by leech seed.
The foe's Jolteon fainted!


Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!

Very interesting. It looks like he's not quite ready to risk his Jirachi, but it was a nonsensical switch anyway, the burn would have killed Jolteon if the Leech Seed hadn't. Looks like Dnite is out again, much to my x4 Fire weak pokemon's displeasure. I'll have to switch.

598.png
(93.75%) VS
385.png
(100%) -->
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(0%) -->
149.png
(90.75%)

Start of turn 20
WinstonShnozwick called Ferrothorn back!
WinstonShnozwick sent out Empoleon!
Pointed stones dug into Empoleon!


The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
Empoleon lost 92 HP! (27% of its health)


Empoleon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

4 Points of Def investment and you still can't do much with your supposedly great attack. Ha


Ten Round Count:

Winston;
376.png
(100%)
598.png
(100%)
395.png
(73%)
609.png
(0%)
479-c.gif
(0%)
478.png
(0%)
Cosbykid;
142.png
(0%)
212.png
(0%)
149.png
(90.75%)
385.png
(100%)
135.png
(0%)
350.png
(0%)

I've gotten pretty far now, having taken out two potential sweepers and a potential wall that could have impeded my efforts. Empoleon has to do something to stop Dragonite's rampage before it Fire Punches my last two Fire vulnerable pokemon to death, and Jirachi is still extremely deadly, able to sweep me without letting me get a single move off. So at this point with Froslass and Chandelure out for the count, I'm feeling pretty bad.



 
395.png
(73%) VS
149.png
(90.75%)

Start of turn 21
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
Empoleon lost 104 HP! (31% of its health)


Empoleon used Scald!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Dragonite lost 15% of its health!


Empoleon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Please please please burn Dragonite, it's probably my only chance left.

395.png
(42.75%) VS
149.png
(75.75%)

Start of turn 22
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
Empoleon lost 91 HP! (27% of its health)


Empoleon used Scald!
It's not very effective...
The foe's Dragonite lost 20% of its health!


Empoleon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Noooooooo! My last chance to stop him. I can't KO with Metagross in one hit and I'm definately 2HKO'd by Fire Punch, and Ferrothorn.. yeah. :(

395.png
(22.5%) VS
149.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 23
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
Empoleon lost 86 HP! (25% of its health)
Empoleon fainted!


WinstonShnozwick sent out Impervious! (Metagross)
Pointed stones dug into Impervious!

395.png
(0%) -->
376.png
(100%) VS
149.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 24
Cosbykid called Dragonite back!
Cosbykid sent out Jirachi!


Impervious used ThunderPunch!
The foe's Jirachi lost 26% of its health!


The foe's Jirachi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Jeez, he really likes to keep that dragon alive doesn't he? I can't bear to watch, Jirachi has done this too many times to me. Maybe I can Earthquake the little b*stard before I lose. It would make me feel much better.


376.png
(100%) VS
149.png
(55.75%) -->
385.png
(80.75%)

Start of turn 25
The foe's Jirachi used Substitute!
The foe's Jirachi made a substitute!


Impervious used Earthquake!
It's super effective!
The foe's Jirachi's substitute faded!


The foe's Jirachi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

376.png
(100%) VS
385.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 26
The foe's Jirachi used Thunderbolt!
Impervious lost 58 HP! (19% of its health)


Impervious used ThunderPunch!
The foe's Jirachi lost 27% of its health!


The foe's Jirachi restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

I didn't quake this time because I've gotten paranoid lately from all of the damn switching that happens to immune moves, so I didn't want to miss Dragonite with the Earthquake, and Thunder Punch is neutral to Rachi anyhow. I don't know why he didn't Body Slam me for the paralyze, so I'm lucky for now.

376.png
(81%) VS
385.png
(28.75%)

Start of turn 27
The foe's Jirachi used Thunderbolt!
Impervious lost 63 HP! (20% of its health)


Impervious is paralyzed! It may be unable to move!
Impervious used Earthquake!
It's super effective!
The foe's Jirachi lost 39% of its health!
The foe's Jirachi fainted!

Cosbykid sent out Dragonite!

Thank goodness I wasn't paralyzed. I could have been paraflinched to death.

376.png
(61%) VS
385.png
(0%) -->
149.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 28
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Impervious lost 124 HP! (41% of its health)


Impervious is paralyzed! It can't move!

376.png
(21%) VS
149.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 29
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Impervious lost 38 HP! (12% of its health)
Impervious fainted!


WinstonShnozwick sent out Ferrothorn!
Pointed stones dug into Ferrothorn!

Sigh, it was a good match. I prepared that final "gg" message for my opponent and clicked the final attack, knowing it would never be used..

376.png
(0%) -->
598.png
(93.75%) VS
149.png
(55.75%)

Start of turn 30
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Ferrothorn lost 208 HP! (67% of its health)
Ferrothorn's Iron Barbs hurts the foe's Dragonite

Ferrothorn used Gyro Ball!
The foe's Dragonite lost 41% of its health!
The foe's Dragonite fainted!

WinstonShnozwick won the battle!
WinstonShnozwick: Thanks for battling me.
Cosbykid: wow
WinstonShnozwick: Nice!

Oh. My. God. I did it. I did it!! Those extra defense invenstments WERE worth it on Ferro! This was amazing, the closest switch I saw for a while. Wow.. That was a good match.

End Game Stats:Winston;
376.png
(0%)
598.png
(26.75%)
395.png
(0%)
609.png
(0%)
479-c.gif
(0%)
478.png
(0%)
Cosbykid;
142.png
(0%)
212.png
(0%)
149.png
(0%)
385.png
(0%)
135.png
(0%)
350.png
(0%)


Props:
+Ferrothorn for finishing the battle spectacularly.
+Empoleon for expertly roaring out the first Dragon Dance attempt
+Rotom for OHKOing Scizor
+Rotom for tricking Dragonite, ensuring victory by stopping Dragon Dances and Roost
+Froslass for coming in at just the right moment, without her setup I probably wouldn't have seen the same end I did.

Slops:
-Chandelure for doing mostly nothing that match besides weakening Jolteon and Milotic
-Empoleon and Ferrothorn for not setting up entry hazards
-My opponent for forgetting about his choiced Dragonite
-Me for forgetting about the choiced Dragonite

Battle Star;
479-c.gif
Rotom Cut Form

Just look at that grin and tell me you don't like him. He singlehandedly took out Scizor and crippled Dragonite. Congrats for the major endgame assistance!

 
Well, first, I applaud you for making a warstory in the first place, as I haven't made one and it's certainly something to be proud of in any case.
Unfortunately, you're going to get some negative reviews, so I hope that won't discourage you from making warstories in the future.
The first thing Smogoners look for in a warstory is a good battle, and good battles need good players. With the misplays, I can't really tell how good of a battler you are, but my suggestion in any case is to keep playing and getting better, because the misplays kind of ruined it for me. When you improve, you'll get higher on the ladder, and you won't have opponents who forgot that they've been tricked a scarf.

That being said, you are a fairly decent writer (at least this isn't an unedited log -.-) but you need to do less of telling people what just happened, and instead tell us what your plans for the turns coming ahead are.
Unless you are an instinctive battler who doesn't plan at all during battles. In which case, start doing that as game planning will definitely make you a better battler.

tl;dr i hope scathing remarks later on don't discourage you; find a better battle; become a better battler
good luck in the future!

EDIT: Also, what's up with these ten round status counts. IMHO these are a bit tacky and if I were to write my own warstory, I might include a little status thing IF (and only if) it was part of my thought processes during the battle. For example, if I was weakening resists for an eventual Scarf Darmanitan cleanup sweep, I'd take note of how much I've weakened my opponent's Rotom-W etc. etc. Every ten turns isn't really necessary, especially if all you're doing is listing the HP values. It just seems everyone is bandwagoning on that one warstory. Advice to future writers: If you want to include some kind of status update, do it at a game-changing moment and put your thinking there along with it. Just a recap of HP %s isn't helpful nor fun to read.
 
Cosbykid: it wont let me attack

.....

That aside. Really wasn't the greatest battle.. But at least you took the time to do decent formatting and commentary. So good work there I guess.

Also

Woodchuck said:
but you need to do less of telling people what just happened, and instead tell us what your plans for the turns coming ahead are.

This.
 
Not the best battle, ive seen a lot of missplays from both parts... try to find a better battle, because the commentaries were pretty good.
 
I agree with previous posts. You have quality comments, but they are on the wrong side of the actions. Instead of explaining what happened after the turn, I suggest stating and explaining your choice of move before each turn is shown. It's easier to follow your thought processes this way.
 
MVP is obviously Dragonite for being such a badass with his Choice shenanigans.

Otherwise it's mostly just echoing other people. Though I'll say that the almost-nonexistent hax was really nice.
 
As the others said, the battle was mediocre, average at best: no hax is good, but misplaying a lot isn't quite good (e.g. Metagross vs Jirachi or the use of Flame Orb Milotic by your opponent). And improve your comments because they hold some unused potential.

6/10
 
I liked the formatting, but honestly, your opponent was pretty bad and the battle wasn't very exciting or interesting.
 
It's not really the best of battles(really, locking D-Nite into DD? Forgetting he was scarf'd?). And also, random crits. There's some hax in this one, and I don't really like it. You look promising, but a better battle would work than this. 4/10.
 
The foe's Milotic's Flame Orb activated!
The foe's Milotic was burned!

This made me laugh.

Otherwise, your oppoenent wasn't really good. However, your commentary and format were excellent. Wrong battle choice though.

Good job.
 
What would be examples of bad battles, and what makes a battle good to warstory?

A good battle has predictions, overpredictions, and mind games.

For instance, identify your opponent's sweeper and your counter. Then, you try to save your counter and prevent their sweeper from setting up. Maybe you try to take out your counter's counter first.

Also, think ahead. Do you have a plan? Perhaps a sacrifice will pave the way to victory.
 
Not recognizing a Sub CM Rachi made your final turns rather more dramatic than they needed to be. That Rachi wasn't paraflinching you to death anytime soon (bar a weird Sub/CM/TBolt/Iron Head variant).
 
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