Nice job here!
Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents like Corviknight or and Dondozo by removing their Leftovers, and it while also preventing chip damage prevents chip from opponents like Great Tusk and Skarmory by Knocking Off taking away their Rocky Helmet.
Remember that "foe" refers to the opposing Pokemon, while "opponent" refers to the opposing human player. In this sentence, both uses of "opponents" refer to Pokemon that are targeted by Weavile's Knock Off, so both should be changed to "foes."
By the way, "preventing chip" is an addition made by you that was not in the original sentence, so make sure you format it as such. If you use the
GP tool, it will do this formatting for you instead of requiring you to do it manually. It also saves a tremendous amount of time formatting GP checks, so I highly recommend you try it out! In any case, although the change you suggested is grammatically correct, there's actually a less intrusive way to correct this part of the sentence: simply add a comma before "and": "...by removing their Leftovers, and it prevents chip...." This better preserves the writer's voice while still being grammatically correct. In general, we want to preserve as much of the original writer's voice as possible.
Edited to add: I didn't notice this at first (s/o autumn for pointing this out lol), but it looks like you added a comma after "Leftovers." This was hard to notice (see my later comments about adding AC and about the colors you're using; I think the fact I missed it reinforces these points lol), but the comma is actually not needed in this case because the "while" here isn't being used to contrast two things; see my comments about this at the end, just before the closing thoughts.
At +2, Triple Axel secures the OHKO on foes like such as the Ogerpon forms, Kyurem, Walking Wake, Ceruledge, and Goodra-Hisui Hisuian Goodra.
Nice work with the added commas and fixing the Hisuian forme! Whenever you add or remove something like a comma, period, or semicolon, you should leave a comment indicating that you did so. Otherwise, the writer might not even notice, since those changes are usually not very prominent on the screen. You can use AC/RC for add/remove comma, AP/RP for add/remove period, and ASC/RSC for add/remove semicolon. In this sentence, it would be: "At +2
, (AC) Triple Axel..." and "...Ceruledge
, (AC) and Hisuian Goodra." If you use the GP tool I mentioned, it will actually do this for you, so you won't have to worry about doing it yourself (as a sidenote, I think it's also useful to leave this kind of comment when adding or removing a dash).
The change from "like" to "such as" is not needed here. The sentence isn't wrong with "like," so we'd prefer to keep it in order to preserve the writer's voice. This is an example of what's called a lateral change, which is a change from one correct word or phrase to a different correct word or phrase without a specific prose justification (such as repetition, redundancy, staccato prose, clarity, etc.), and we want to avoid lateral changes because they needlessly take away from the writer's voice. If you are making a change from one grammatically correct phrase to another for a prose reason (repetition, for example), then it can be useful to leave a comment indicating as such ("foes
like such as (changed for repetition) the Ogerpon..."). You can read more about the different types of prose reasons that can justify such changes in the
GP Beginner Notes document. This document is also a good resource for a lot of other GP-related tips!
The one other thing to change here is that "forms" should be "formes." We use "formes" for Pokemon that are tiered separately and given their own analyses (such as the Ogerpon formes), while "forms" is used only for purely aesthetic differences that do not come with differences in typing or base stats (such as the Gastrodon forms).
Furthermore, it is able to check Defensive defensive Great Tusk, Iron Treads, and Non Scarf non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo, who can all prove to be formidable foes for Ice Type teams Ice teams.
Good catch with the capitalized set names here! Once again, make sure to put an (AC) after the added comma. The change from "can" to "all" isn't needed here and actually slightly modifies the meaning of the sentence, so be careful with making changes like that. The "who" should also be changed to "which" here; the pronouns "which," "that," and "it" should be used to refer to Pokemon instead of "who," "he," and "she."
Finally, based on the previous sentence, we can infer that the "it" in this sentence refers to Triple Axel. However, Triple Axel is not what checks the Pokemon listed;
Weavile is what checks them. There are two options to fix this: you can simply change "check" to "threaten" (Triple Axel does threaten the Pokemon listed), or you can change it to "Furthermore, it enables Weavile to check...." Either one of these options clarifies that Weavile is checking the listed Pokemon by using Triple Axel.
Ice Shard serves as a reliable countermeasure against faster foes like Scarf Choice Scarf Enamorus, Landorus-I, Landorus, and Roaring Moon.
Perfect! No notes.
At +2, it is also able to OHKO Dragapult, while also picking off Garchomp without making contact which avoids chip from its Rough Skin without taking Rough Skin damage.
Nice work making the end of the sentence more concise while removing the dex info!
Here, it seems like you changed "OHKOing" to "picking off" without indicating that with your formatting - again, using the GP tool helps patch this up because it does that for you. Either way, "OHKOing" was fine in the original sentence, so we would want to avoid changing that in order to preserve voice. Also, commas before "while" are only needed when it is used to show contrast (e.g. "Toxapex is a wall, while Hoopa-U is a wallbreaker"), not when it is used to describe two different actions (in this case, 1. OHKOing Dragapult and 2. OHKOing Garchomp without triggering Rough Skin) that simultaneously describe one thing (in this case, Weavile's Ice Shard at +2). Since this sentence falls under the latter category, the comma before "while" should be removed. (This also applies to the first sentence where you added a comma after "Leftovers.") Finally, the removal of "also" can seem like a lateral change at first glance, so I would suggest adding a comment to indicate you are removing it for repetition.
Some closing thoughts:
Your add color is a very dark shade of blue that is not very readable on the Smogon forums (at least in dark mode), so I'd suggest picking a slightly lighter shade. On the GP tool, you're able to select your add/remove/comment colors using an RGB picker, so you can play around with that. Speaking of the GP tool, I'll once again strongly recommend using it - it has saved me a ton of time, and since it handles a lot of the formatting itself, you don't have to worry about doing that manually and potentially missing something.
