Skwovetboi
waffledogefern
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You're making good progress on objective changes, just make sure to remember all of the things from prior exercises.
> When referring to attacking Z-Moves, use their official names, e.g., "Supersonic Skystrike". Only specify the base move if there are multiple viable options and there is genuine ambiguity.
"Stealth Rocks" -> "Stealth Rock," as the move is singular and you can only set one instance of Stealth Rock.
I'd also like to say that the change from ", but" to ";however, this" is a bit of a lateral change (which GP doesn't want to be making), as the original variant was acceptable.
EDIT: The entry hazards change here was fine, it was just highlighted in all blue for some reason. Good work.
You're making good progress on objective changes, just make sure to remember all of the things from prior exercises.
Good work, no changes.
A comma is needed between "weakened," and "slower," as the comma separates the adjectives and makes it clear that they describe "foes."
Z-Brave Bird -> Supersonic Skystrike
> When referring to attacking Z-Moves, use their official names, e.g., "Supersonic Skystrike". Only specify the base move if there are multiple viable options and there is genuine ambiguity.
"Stealth Rocks" -> "Stealth Rock," as the move is singular and you can only set one instance of Stealth Rock.
I'd also like to say that the change from ", but" to ";however, this" is a bit of a lateral change (which GP doesn't want to be making), as the original variant was acceptable.
Speed requires capitalization, as it's a stat. Additionally, there's a triple stack of errors between "match up," "into," and ", while." "match up" here is a single word, "into" is not a synonym for "against," so it should be changed to that in the vast majority of cases (A move can be strong against something, but it cannot be strong into something), and ", while" is not representing "whereas" showing contrast here, so it doesn't need a comma. Additionally, "Flying-resistant Pokemon" would've been slightly less of an intrusive change, but nobody will fault you for using "Flying-type resistant Pokemon."
You found this in the earlier Tsareena check, but a comma is needed before "as," as it acts in place of "because" in this scenario. The addition of "entry hazards" was a content change, which GP doesn't really want to make because it assumes knowledge about a metagame. For all we know, Hippowdon could be setting up Curse, for example. This would be a scenario where if you think it needs clarity, you'd leave a comment.
EDIT: The entry hazards change here was fine, it was just highlighted in all blue for some reason. Good work.
waffledogefern
Very well done overall, especially with subjective changes. Once you get down some of the more niche and hard-to-see rulings, it'll be almost perfect work.
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When speaking about dual types, they need to be formatted as "Rock / Poison typing/type."
Also, if you look carefully, you'll notice that "Nihilego’s" is using the curly ASCII apostrophe, which GP doesn't allow. It should be replaced with ' instead.
"Fire- and Fairy-types like Sylveon and Moltres" -> "Fire- and Fairy-types like Moltres and Sylveon."
The list order needs to match the subjects of the list. Since Fire-types are mentioned before Fairy-types in the list's subjects, Moltres needs to come before Sylveon in the list.
Also relevant: since you moved up the segment, "grants" should've been used over "give," in order to keep as much of the author's original voice as possible.
This sentence is a bit overlong, so it should've been split from the get-go since it jumps subjects. Additionally, "strong Special Attack" is an error, as the stat itself cannot be "strong." Something like "high" would be more ideal. Everything else is stellar, good work.
More or less everything has been caught here, but there's a lot of repetition that can be dealt with because every noun starts with physical. "physical Defense" can be shortened to just "Defense," as that is the related stat. Thus, by relation to "[physical] Defense" earlier in the sentence, "physical attacks" can be changed to just "attacks" in order to prevent repetition with the following "physically bulky teammates" in this sentence.
You can't be weak to the "Ground- and Steel-types in UU," but you can be weak to "Ground- and Steel-type moves." This would compromise the original sentence a bit however, so an alternative change like "Nihilego is highly vulnerable to the common Ground- and Steel-types in UU" would be suitable to keep the author's intent. Everything else is well done, good work.
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"Rock and Poison typing" -> "Rock / Poison typing"
When speaking about dual types, they need to be formatted as "Rock / Poison typing/type."
Also, if you look carefully, you'll notice that "Nihilego’s" is using the curly ASCII apostrophe, which GP doesn't allow. It should be replaced with ' instead.
"Fire- and Fairy-types like Sylveon and Moltres" -> "Fire- and Fairy-types like Moltres and Sylveon."
The list order needs to match the subjects of the list. Since Fire-types are mentioned before Fairy-types in the list's subjects, Moltres needs to come before Sylveon in the list.
Also relevant: since you moved up the segment, "grants" should've been used over "give," in order to keep as much of the author's original voice as possible.
This sentence is a bit overlong, so it should've been split from the get-go since it jumps subjects. Additionally, "strong Special Attack" is an error, as the stat itself cannot be "strong." Something like "high" would be more ideal. Everything else is stellar, good work.
More or less everything has been caught here, but there's a lot of repetition that can be dealt with because every noun starts with physical. "physical Defense" can be shortened to just "Defense," as that is the related stat. Thus, by relation to "[physical] Defense" earlier in the sentence, "physical attacks" can be changed to just "attacks" in order to prevent repetition with the following "physically bulky teammates" in this sentence.
You can't be weak to the "Ground- and Steel-types in UU," but you can be weak to "Ground- and Steel-type moves." This would compromise the original sentence a bit however, so an alternative change like "Nihilego is highly vulnerable to the common Ground- and Steel-types in UU" would be suitable to keep the author's intent. Everything else is well done, good work.
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