I need some advice

Dude18210

Having lurked around here for a while now, I know that someone can help me with some advice. This isn't a joke, nor do I want it to become one.

Anyway, I come home from school one day to find my dad in an angered slump. Spring Break had just ended and I had pretty much spent all of it on the computer and playing Wii (SSBB :)). He tells me that I need to lay off them for a couple days.

I think to myself, "Well this sucks. Oh well, it's not as bad as it could be." He then tells me later that he is going to enforce a thing where I can only use the computer outside of homework every other day.

As most of the people I have come across on forums like this, I'm guessing you can relate to me in the fact that you like to stay indoors and spend some time playing video games or surfing the net. Having access every other day? No, just no.

My dad comes up to me around 8pm today (the previous events happened yesterday) and asks if I'm using the computer because he needed to use it. I told him I wasn't because I thought I was still taking time off like he had told me to. He then tells me that today was the day I had time on the every-other-day thing, after which he proceeds to go on the computer. That really pissed me off. He just tells me to get over it.

So, please help me out here guys and gals. What is a possible solution that can work out in both of our favors? I know I sound like a whiney kid and most of you probably think I'm some insignificant technological nerd, but I am a person behind a keyboard just like all of you with feelings and a personality. I know parents can make their own rules for their own kids, etc. etc., but is there a way that both of us can work out our differences? The majority of my social life is in my online friends and my real-life friends who share these interests with me. I would deeply appreciate any kind advice that any of you can offer.
 
Be good for about a week, then just sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you can't handle it (which you obviously can't), but not now; wait a little while.
 
The right way to do it is to behave like .darkie said, and focus on your schoolwork. Parents tend to be more lenient and allow more freedom/privileges to their children when they have high marks in school.
 
That's not always the case, I could say that if I lived with my Mom, she'd be the complete opposite to what my Dad's like. Even though I'm praised for doing something good around her, she'd still try and lure me away from something she disaproved of. Exactly like what this guy's going through. He's been slowly taken away from it, and that's what his Dad wants. Oh, and my Dad is just happy with me and what I do, so I can't really relate to your problem personally, I can only imagine (because I don't like with my mother).

Anywho, I think it's best if you talk to him about it. The way he said "get over it" obviously means he's not taking you seriously, and that he wants you off your computer more. There's nothing much that can be done, if I had to be honest. If I was you, I'd just speak to him and see what happens, it's the best advice we can give you.


By the way, how old are you?
 
Taylor said:
That's not always the case, I could say that if I lived with my Mom, she'd be the complete opposite to what my Dad's like. Even though I'm praised for doing something good around her, she'd still try and lure me away from something she disaproved of.
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Unfortunately for the OP this is true, and if it's something the parents believe is better for you then nothing will change it until they change their opinion. Good luck though.

By the way, how old are you?
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22
 
Jyuujin said:
22
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lol, he was asking the OP

Honestly, this is probably for the better. If you seriously can't go every other day without internet, than you are addicted to it. I know a lot of people brush off internet addiction, but it's a real and serious issue that is gaining a lot of steam in many communities, particularly the Asian ones. I'm not saying you are an anti-socialite, but you need to have a worthwhile life that doesn't include computers and video games.
 
It's for the better that you get off the internet, but it's really very hard.

If you want to be dumb and don't listen, just try to play your two parents (I do hope you still have two) out against each other. Or get on the internet elsewhere.
 
Dude I am 19 and my parents tell me nothing or say nothing in fear of revolt.

You shouldn't be so cornered, if you are too weak to kick your dads ass get him really drunk and then start a fight with him and just punch him in the head.

Worked for me. (But I guess my dad might be a bit more cold-hearted and less considerate, who knows)

But, the only way to solve the dilema with the PC is to tell him to get a laptop, they are considerably cheap now'a'days if all he needs is pron, e-mail, and internet browsing.

As for gaming, I had to spend 1700+ for a decent laptop. Otherwise you can spend as low as $400-$500.
 
Yeah me and my sister used to get alternating 'days' on the computer, yeah it bites but it actually is in your best interest. I know it's a shitty thing to hear, but your dad's doing the right thing in restricting your access - although he should also be encouraging you to do other things instead.

You probably don't appreciate it now, but when you're living with your parents, that's when you should be developing and building yourself - intellectually, socially, your interests and strengths, even just your personality. Computers, and particularly the Internet, suck that stuff out of you.
 
Oh at first I thought your parents were getting a divorce.

Don't think too much of it. m0nkfish is right- you don't want to spend too much time on the computer because it leads to a lack of a social life. No, he isn't right to lie about the times you get the computer, but use this as an opportunity to develop friends outside of the internet. You can still keep your relationships online, just remember that there are many great things to do outside of the internet. It sounds like your dad had a bad day at work :(

I understand your problem and why you would be mad, but really if you're that dependent on the internet and Wii (yes, i've played SSBB until my Wii overheated so I would know), then that could be a hint to up your social life.
 
Kingdrom said:
Oh at first I thought your parents were getting a divorce.

Don't think too much of it. m0nkfish is right- you don't want to spend too much time on the computer because it leads to a lack of a social life. No, he isn't right to lie about the times you get the computer, but use this as an opportunity to develop friends outside of the internet. You can still keep your relationships online, just remember that there are many great things to do outside of the internet. It sounds like your dad had a bad day at work :(

I understand your problem and why you would be mad, but really if you're that dependent on the internet and Wii (yes, i've played SSBB until my Wii overheated so I would know), then that could be a hint to up your social life.
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Thanks for all the help guys. I'll try to see if I can cut back a little on the time. My dad is kind of jobless at the moment, so that could have contributed, and on the day he told me these things my sister had gotten suspended from school for flipping the bird at a teacher 3 months ago (she got ratted out. long story)

Back on topic, I guess he could have just been taking out some steam on me, and I'll try and stay off the internet a little more, but I still honestly think every other day is a little harsh. Perhaps a set amount of time every day could work out. I'll try talking to him after a few days.

I'm 17 by the way lol
 
Finding out that you're 17 has a bit of significance to it. If you're 17 you're either in your Junior year or Senior year of high school. That means if you're a junior you should be focusing on the SAT and ACT's rather than the internet. If you're a senior mid terms and final exams should be a higher priority right :)
 
How does him being 17 matter? Who says that one must focus on, let alone study for, the SAT and ACT or mid-terms or final exams? The ONLY high school exams that matter are AP, since nothing else will matter once you are in college (and, unless he is contention to go to a 'prestigious' school, there is not going to be much difference between generic college one or generic college two).

As to your 'problem', your dad has absolute jurisdiction over you so long as you live in his house and he does not violate your other (few) rights, so I guess just do your best, unless he is someone who likes fighting, to not antagonize him any further. (Just to let you know, this does not mean your father is not wrong, because he is).
 
TrainerSJ said:
Dude I am 19 and my parents tell me nothing or say nothing in fear of revolt.
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I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you you're a complete moron. Whether true or not, nobody is impressed by you hitting your dad... you offered no advice worthy of consideration. If you're just going to troll, you're going to get infractions.

Dude18210 said:
Perhaps a set amount of time every day could work out. I'll try talking to him after a few days.
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That, my friend, is an excellent idea. See, you didn't need our help after all!

Jyuujin said:
Finding out that you're 17 has a bit of significance to it.
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Like Harlequ- er, CaptKirby said, age doesn't play a huge role here. I have a 24-year-old roommate who gets home from work at 5pm and plays an online game for about 6 hours. EVERYONE has something more important to do than be on the internet, unless your reasons for being online include homework/job.
 
CaptKirby said:
How does him being 17 matter? Who says that one must focus on, let alone study for, the SAT and ACT or mid-terms or final exams? The ONLY high school exams that matter are AP, since nothing else will matter once you are in college (and, unless he is contention to go to a 'prestigious' school, there is not going to be much difference between generic college one or generic college two).
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posting to say SAT/ACT matter
 
Yeah CaptKirby is just being elitist because he didn't have to study. 17 is an important age for your future. Doing well in school and on standardised tests can lead to scholarships which can help you become more independent of your parents which it sounds like you want.

Take time to study and develop personality. This limitation isn't a really bad thing though it seems like it to you now.
 
I'm currently in my freshman year at college and have applied for transfer to a couple of other schools. I never took a single AP exam (my high school was too hoity-toity to offer the courses.)

ACT/SAT scores have factored hugely in both my original college application and my subsequent bids for school-swapping, do NOT sluff them off! Honestly I'd say as far as admissions go, SAT subject tests carry a lot more weight than AP exams (as they should, AP is shit).
 
Agreeing with above posters. I got into RIT, a very prestigious institution, based on my SAT score alone. I took AP Calculus in high school and got a 0 on the AP test (they actually had to take it out of the plastic to collect it from me), I graduated about 80th out of 180 in my class... yet somehow I got into RIT.

Take the SAT seriously, it may be useless in actual life terms, but it means a lot to your future.
 
Yeah, doing well on the ACT made it so I didn't have to deal with all the bullshit of trying to place out of stupid lower math classes when I got to college. I was simply placed directly into Calc. I think my scholarships were based solely on the ACT, too.

As for the topic at hand, it's really hard to limit computer usage without preventing you from writing papers and looking things up via the internet. Obviously your parents aren't going to sit there and monitor what you're doing on the computer 24/7 so let's be realistic even when you're doing school work you could be doing other things on the net as well. Just be "good" and this will probably pass, especially once it hits summer time.
 
I've already taken the ACT and I do feel that I've done very well on it. :)

I also do plan on taking the SAT in the future (I'm a Junior by the way), and I do have some AP Tests coming up this May (Government, Microecon., and Calc. BC >_<).

I guess he was just having a bad say, seeing as I'm on the internet now not every other day, but on a shorter time per day, and he doesn't seem to care so far.
 
Try to establish a time. Instead of every-other-day, do 1-2 hours of freetime each day, like what I have. (Although I sneak on my DS for 4 hours a day. :P)
 
Uh, yeah, I did not study for the ACT or SAT, but what did a 33 on the ACT or a 2160 on the SAT get me? $0 scholarship because I had no financial need :/ All colleges offer basically similar experiences unless one genuinely has the need for constant instruction (stuff you have to practice a lot), but for anything one might learn from merely books, college, and by extension the SAT and ACT, are unimportant!
 
This probably sounds like really bad advice, but I'd advise you find an addiction you will be able to more easily rid yourself of your current one. Although I don't really agree with his methods, I'd say that your dad is probably at least a little right, you definitely need to get away from the keyboard.

I was an Internet addict in my earlier years of high school, and that's when I was most active here. I had five different message boards I was an active member of (posting around 50 messages a day total) and whenever I was done, I'd browse comment pages on Slashdot or follow a click-trail through Wikipedia.

This was something that I'd become almost dependent on; I would get home after school, sit down at the computer, and not leave until it was time for bed. Arrogant snot that I was, I believed that people online actually needed my presence. I thought I would be missed.

I was eventually cured of this line of thinking when I discovered Counter-Strike. I would come home after school and play Counter-Strike until it was time for bed. This continued for about a month until I decided to check up on the message boards that I had become an allegedly integrated member of. As it turned out, nobody missed me. The universe continued to exist without me, and if I never went back, message boards and chat rooms would not cease functioning without me.

That left me with the daunting task of overcoming my Counter-Strike addiction, which was actually pretty easy once I realized how much I hated it. And once I was done, I didn't go back to spending eight hours a day in front of my monitor.

I dunno. It worked for me. Find something that you can immerse yourself in to the point that you will neglect your online contacts. I highly recommend literature by Michael Crichton or Orson Scott Card, or Capcom's Ace Attorney series. The good thing about these sources of entertainment is that once you're done with them, you're done with them. They're not renewable. Hopefully, the hours that you realize you don't have to spend in front of the computer can be siphoned off into areas of academia, or maybe interacting with people that you have physical contact with. You know, like at a LAN café.
 
First, what is it that you do on the computer? If it's just the internet, I have a few ideas. Disclaimer: I didn't say they were good.

A.Loopholes
Make your dad write down what he wants you to do on a contract, however, subtlely give him the words that you want to to write. I probably can't explain this very well, but like just before he signs it, say something like,"So you only want me to be on the computer every other day, right?" And it will stick in his mind when he writes the contract. Once he does that, precede to use the internet on your Wii and do whatever. If he says something, get a lawyer and sue him. Works every time.

B.Get A IPhone/Something that can go on the Internet
Secretly get a job and earn some money, or just make a bet with somebody that you can't lose for $500(whatever it costs), once you have enough money, buy an IPhone.

C.Sneak onto the computer
When your dad is asleep at night, wait until about 11:30 and secretly sneak onto the nearest computer and use it. MAke sure you can hide somewhere if one of your parents comes near the room or else you'll get busted. Log off around 12"30-1:30, or else you'll be very tired next morning.

D. The Boring Way
Talk with your dad and determine why he does not want you to use the computer so much. Find a compromise; I.E. a GPA of blah blah for blank hours on the computer, or chores for computer time.

E.Internet Cafes
Make some money, steal some, or whatever and go to internet cafes after school/on weekends. If your parents ask what you're doing, just tell them you're on a date/with friends/whatever. IT's expensive, but at least you get internet.

Out of those, probably D is the most logical and the best choice; anyways, there's my 2 cents.
 
What you need to do with your dad is come to an agreement/compromise. Instead of limiting computer time, balancing it out with something else can also work.

For example, you could have as much computer time as you want if you agree to read a book for an hour everyday, of some other non tech activity.
 
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