I'm currently trapped in a car with a cat

[Matthew]

Please someone help me

 

[iDunno]

cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

 

[Focus]

you mean you can't just open the car door?

 

[Matthew]

What do I feed it? I'm afraid its need for flesh will only grow and all I have is cigarettes and newspaper. I figure I need both though; for the perilous journey ahead

 

[Box]

Well, if you have a pot and some water...

 

[iDunno]

I hear that breed of cat mainly feeds on human flesh. One of your fingers will probably satiate it for an hour or two.

 

[Matthew]

Every time I reach for the door handle it bats my hand away. It seems like it is testing me. I tried, through the power of song, to tame this beast. It however started too hiss; which only hurt my self esteem

 

[Box]

How does it manage to do that, unless your car only has one door?

 

[Matthew]

You seem to not understand how swift cats move

 

[iDunno]

Become one with nature and you will learn to understand it...

peace

 

[billymills]

You seem to not understand how swift cats move

It's been 30 minutes and you're apparently still alive.

Tell us how you did it.

 

[Matthew]

The cat has picked up smoking which I am sure is not healthy for it. It has also made a fort out of the newspaper. I am under the suspicion it can replicate itself asexually, which makes this situation more dire.

 

[Matthew]

I constructed a small defensive apparatus out of my belt, hat, and shoes, billy. Crude yet effective

 

[Fatecrashers]

it's been nice knowing you

 

[asim]

it seems too late to attempt an escape now gen. your best bet is to start acting like the cat. strip down and start cleaning yourself, and pray that it will fall for it

 

[iDunno]

How does the cat reproduce asexually? I am very interested in this seemingly anomalous feline.

 

[Matthew]

I tried the 'act like a cat' method. What happened instead was the cat in question defecated on my clothing and then started to meow. I am cold now.

 

[iDunno]

Do the feces display cat-like features? Defecation might be its way of reproducing if it is, indeed, asexual.

 

[Box]

Turn up the heating.

 

[Matthew]

That would require turning the car on, however the roar of the engine makes the cat go crazy. I would rather die of hypothermia than by claw.

 

[McGrrr]

[ ] Innuendo ITT
[x] Door handle looks like a smiley face

 

[Box]

Call a friend and get him to stuff a cloth in your exhaust pipe. Then turn on the AC. Kill the cat with carbon monoxide poisoning. It'll be too busy dying to claw you. Humans have more red blood cells than cats, so you'll probably survive.

Probably.

 

[Dan Dan]

please stay in the car, maybe try running a hose from the exhaust through the window too? do us all a favour.

 

[Trax]

I recommend making loud noises in the hope that the cat dives under the seat, giving you time to escape.

 

[Libelldra]

Just stay very still, it should leave you alone