Congratulations to the previous winners. I have finally thought of everything for this weird slate, so I'm posting it now. Unsurprisingly, Avalugg-Mega took the longest even though I started with that first:
Skuntank-Mega
New Ability: Prankster
Type: Poison/Dark
New Stats:
HP: 103
Attack: 093
Defense: 067 → 077 (+10)
Special Attack: 071 → 091 (+20)
Special Defense: 061 → 105 (+44)
Speed: 084 → 110 (+26)
(BST: 479 → 579)
New Moves: [none]
Description: "It now prefers to leisurely frustrate and fatigue its prey via annoyance and ambush tactics, only using its spray for short bursts of corrosive gas that furthers injuries and stifles resistance."
To paraphrase a line from Daria, "Squirrels are nothing but rats with fluffy tails."
Emolga-Mega
New Ability: Fluffy
Type: Electric/Flying
New Stats:
HP: 055
Attack: 075
Defense: 060 → 110 (+50)
Special Attack: 075 → 090 (+15)
Special Defense: 060 → 075 (+15)
Speed: 103 → 123 (+20)
(BST: 428 → 528)
{2023/08/23 EDIT: Previously 115 Def (+55), 100 SpA (+25), and 060 SpD (+00).}
New Moves: Nasty Plot, Parabolic Charge
Description: "Emolga's energy management issues and mischievousness have only increased, the former causing its fur to become a frizzy and fluffy mess sending out constant electrical waves even as it flies."
Speaking of "rats with fluffy tails", Fluffy is an interesting ability on a Flying mon given that the typing by its nature allows the would-be Fluffy mon to bypass the most common non-contact physical move: Earthquake. Also, unlike Fur Coat, Fluffy isn't automatically something that can make even a relatively minimal Def boost lead to physical immortality, which is good because Parabolic Charge totally fits Emolga's flavor anyway about zapping everything even while flying without really trying to do so. Its still middling SpA is both for the sake of Nasty Plot and to keep Parabolic Charge from being too obnoxious out of the gate, but it also works well in Doubles where relatively weak Parabolic Charges, especially as base Emolga, can be used to intentionally trigger Weakness Policy and other items. Fluffy lets it set up Nasty Plots and/or Substitutes rather easily against certain mons, especially certain physically oriented Choice item users. Not much else to say about this or Fluffy since otherwise it merely allows for Emolga to be its usual annoying self, just with a lot more bulk on the Defense side...as long as that physical attack makes contact...and isn't Fire. So watch out for Stone Edges and Ice Shards and Icicle Crashes. And speaking of Icicle Crash....
Avalugg-Mega
New Ability: Steely Spirit
Type: Ice/Steel
New Stats:
HP: 095
Attack: 117 → 137 (+20) {previously 140 (+23)}
Defense: 184 → 235 (+51)
Special Attack: 044 → 052 (+08)
Special Defense: 046 → 075 (+29) {previously 066 (+20)}
Speed: 028 → 020 (-08) {previously 035 (+07)}
(BST: 514 → 614)
Weight: 1113.3 lbs (505.0 kg) → 2204.4 lbs (999.9 kg)
New Moves: Icicle Crash (seriously, how does it still not get this already?)
Description: "The energy of Mega Evolution bolsters its size and indomitable resolve, turning its steel-like body and nearby allies partially into actual living steel."
Much like chemicalmines, I decided to take inspiration from some of Avalugg's Pokedex entries saying it's steel-like. After trying and failing for a day to think of ways to take advantage of this defensively, including my almost-obligatory Storm Drain-esque consideration before I realized that even in this limited meta most Water types still somewhat body this poor guy with their coverage, I decided to instead shift gears. So unlike regular Avalugg, Avalugg-Mega focuses decidedly on offense, having absolutely brutal Heavy Slams and Gyro Balls and being a great cleaner for Trick Room both in Singles and in Doubles. Despite this utterly offensive aspect and newfound neutrality to Stealth Rock and having--gasp!--actual resistances now, it should still be manageable between having two quad weaknesses, still somewhat poor SpD, even slower Speed, and STAB that's resisted by two of the best types in the game in Water and Steel. Granted, Steel types--including itself--that aren't Ghost get rather wrecked by Body Press, but Water types generally don't fold to that easily unless they're already generally frail and/or weak to Fighting (hey there, Greninja). The original Slow-siblings in particular basically give it no end of grief if they're not Toxic'd between resisting its STABs & Body Press, having low enough Speed that Gyro Ball does nothing much while still being faster, randomly having access to Flamethrower, and having the broken ability that is Regenerator. I can admit that I didn't do extensive calcs--in part because Heavy Slam is really annoying to calc for--and that I might have to dump a few more of its stats into SpA or, ironically, raise its Speed (again) a bit back to where I had it for a bit. Shrug. (Even if you don't want to go all "I am become Trick Room, Destroyer of Worlds", being neutral to Stealth Rock now is nice for a mon with Rapid Spin and recovery, and Heavy Slam generally hurts enough that you can likely forego Gyro Ball in those more supportive cases.)

New Ability: Prankster
Type: Poison/Dark
New Stats:
HP: 103
Attack: 093
Defense: 067 → 077 (+10)
Special Attack: 071 → 091 (+20)
Special Defense: 061 → 105 (+44)
Speed: 084 → 110 (+26)
(BST: 479 → 579)
New Moves: [none]
Description: "It now prefers to leisurely frustrate and fatigue its prey via annoyance and ambush tactics, only using its spray for short bursts of corrosive gas that furthers injuries and stifles resistance."
Having worked my way backwards through this weird slate from Avalugg, I arrived at the decision to go with Prankster as the ability for my Skuntank-Mega after rejecting like half a dozen others, three of which would have been offensively-oriented and three others more defensively-oriented. In the process of trying to think of things yesterday, however, I remembered in the wider scopes of things that Drapion-Mega already exists as a more offensively-oriented Poison/Dark Mega and as one that particularly picks on Steel types, which had been one of my initial ideas. So instead defensively-oriented Skuntank won out, though in the case of Prankster I had to make sure to not make it too defensive stat-wise on both sides since otherwise Rest (Talk) would likely end up surprisingly oppressive; even now it might need still slightly lesser defenses, but I'll let the council decide that.
Beyond priority Rest to save itself, Prankster does a lot for Skuntank with what it already has. It gives the meta and the larger meta(s) a fully evolved Prankster Haze user (unless I missed someone outside of CAP), meaning people no longer have to rely upon Murkrow for that, that can thus "revenge" most set-up users. Its priority Taunt stops set-up users in general, its priority Toxic is also 100% accurate, its priority Defog almost ensures hazards go away even if it's on death's door, and Prankster also greatly helps both Memento and its own set-up with Nasty Plot and even Hone Claws. Its arguably strongest status move with Prankster, however, is Corrosive Gas, which allows this to basically strip even Choice Scarf uses of their item before they smack it and support the team that way by lessening the amount of possible revenge kills since Speed is almost everything.
Besides intentionally lackluster defenses, however, all of that Prankster goodness is blocked by fellow Dark types, most of which can easily come on it as long as they aren't Grass/Dark or Dark/Fairy (or Dark/Steel if it's using Flamethrower). Prankster Corrosive Gas similarly is kept from being too oppressive due to both Dark types and Steel types being utterly immune to it, in addition to it becoming a completely dead slot that doesn't do damage like actual Knock Off does even after the opposing team is effectively itemless. While its Speed allows it to outrace everyone's favorite Street Shark in Garchomp, it doesn't really much threaten that without a Nasty Plot (or two) and Hidden Power Ice, which it has real reason to use otherwise unless you really hate Gliscor (which, valid), while Garchomp basically Earthquakes Skuntank into an early grave still as do most other strong Ground types, which are pretty common. Finally, despite all of its supporting goodness, Rest is still the only form of healing it has and it gets worn down by non-Toxic Spikes hazards, meaning that it gets somewhat destroyed by Electric Terrain and Misty Terrain of all things if its teammates can't heal it and that it can be annoyed by Psychic Terrain, though none of the mons that set up that last one up really don't want to come in on it, much less stay in.
2023/08/23 EDIT: In VGC, which I still need to think more about in general, even Skuntank's "usually useless" Status move options can become actually useful with Prankster. Rain Dance and Sunny Day speak for themselves even if Skuntank doesn't directly benefit from them, though Skuntank does already get Flamethrower and Fire Blast for the latter at least. Prankster Screech goes well with physical attackers and helps combat the deluge of Intimidate that they face in Doubles; Leer can fulfill the same role to a lesser if more accurate degree. Priority Confide can become your own special-oriented Intimidate that can also be used to trigger Defiant on non-Dark mons, and Scary Face can do the same for such mons or weird Trick Room setups. Finally, if you're (a scumbag who is) willing to gamble, even Attract, Captivate, and Double Team could work well with Prankster (if allowed). (Sadly, both Torment and Venom Drench's would-be utility is probably iffier than all of the aforementioned things, even Leer and Confide.)
Beyond priority Rest to save itself, Prankster does a lot for Skuntank with what it already has. It gives the meta and the larger meta(s) a fully evolved Prankster Haze user (unless I missed someone outside of CAP), meaning people no longer have to rely upon Murkrow for that, that can thus "revenge" most set-up users. Its priority Taunt stops set-up users in general, its priority Toxic is also 100% accurate, its priority Defog almost ensures hazards go away even if it's on death's door, and Prankster also greatly helps both Memento and its own set-up with Nasty Plot and even Hone Claws. Its arguably strongest status move with Prankster, however, is Corrosive Gas, which allows this to basically strip even Choice Scarf uses of their item before they smack it and support the team that way by lessening the amount of possible revenge kills since Speed is almost everything.
Besides intentionally lackluster defenses, however, all of that Prankster goodness is blocked by fellow Dark types, most of which can easily come on it as long as they aren't Grass/Dark or Dark/Fairy (or Dark/Steel if it's using Flamethrower). Prankster Corrosive Gas similarly is kept from being too oppressive due to both Dark types and Steel types being utterly immune to it, in addition to it becoming a completely dead slot that doesn't do damage like actual Knock Off does even after the opposing team is effectively itemless. While its Speed allows it to outrace everyone's favorite Street Shark in Garchomp, it doesn't really much threaten that without a Nasty Plot (or two) and Hidden Power Ice, which it has real reason to use otherwise unless you really hate Gliscor (which, valid), while Garchomp basically Earthquakes Skuntank into an early grave still as do most other strong Ground types, which are pretty common. Finally, despite all of its supporting goodness, Rest is still the only form of healing it has and it gets worn down by non-Toxic Spikes hazards, meaning that it gets somewhat destroyed by Electric Terrain and Misty Terrain of all things if its teammates can't heal it and that it can be annoyed by Psychic Terrain, though none of the mons that set up that last one up really don't want to come in on it, much less stay in.
2023/08/23 EDIT: In VGC, which I still need to think more about in general, even Skuntank's "usually useless" Status move options can become actually useful with Prankster. Rain Dance and Sunny Day speak for themselves even if Skuntank doesn't directly benefit from them, though Skuntank does already get Flamethrower and Fire Blast for the latter at least. Prankster Screech goes well with physical attackers and helps combat the deluge of Intimidate that they face in Doubles; Leer can fulfill the same role to a lesser if more accurate degree. Priority Confide can become your own special-oriented Intimidate that can also be used to trigger Defiant on non-Dark mons, and Scary Face can do the same for such mons or weird Trick Room setups. Finally, if you're (a scumbag who is) willing to gamble, even Attract, Captivate, and Double Team could work well with Prankster (if allowed). (Sadly, both Torment and Venom Drench's would-be utility is probably iffier than all of the aforementioned things, even Leer and Confide.)
what the fuck Game Freak why did you make this squirrel so creepy
To paraphrase a line from Daria, "Squirrels are nothing but rats with fluffy tails."

New Ability: Fluffy
Type: Electric/Flying
New Stats:
HP: 055
Attack: 075
Defense: 060 → 110 (+50)
Special Attack: 075 → 090 (+15)
Special Defense: 060 → 075 (+15)
Speed: 103 → 123 (+20)
(BST: 428 → 528)
{2023/08/23 EDIT: Previously 115 Def (+55), 100 SpA (+25), and 060 SpD (+00).}
New Moves: Nasty Plot, Parabolic Charge
Description: "Emolga's energy management issues and mischievousness have only increased, the former causing its fur to become a frizzy and fluffy mess sending out constant electrical waves even as it flies."
Speaking of "rats with fluffy tails", Fluffy is an interesting ability on a Flying mon given that the typing by its nature allows the would-be Fluffy mon to bypass the most common non-contact physical move: Earthquake. Also, unlike Fur Coat, Fluffy isn't automatically something that can make even a relatively minimal Def boost lead to physical immortality, which is good because Parabolic Charge totally fits Emolga's flavor anyway about zapping everything even while flying without really trying to do so. Its still middling SpA is both for the sake of Nasty Plot and to keep Parabolic Charge from being too obnoxious out of the gate, but it also works well in Doubles where relatively weak Parabolic Charges, especially as base Emolga, can be used to intentionally trigger Weakness Policy and other items. Fluffy lets it set up Nasty Plots and/or Substitutes rather easily against certain mons, especially certain physically oriented Choice item users. Not much else to say about this or Fluffy since otherwise it merely allows for Emolga to be its usual annoying self, just with a lot more bulk on the Defense side...as long as that physical attack makes contact...and isn't Fire. So watch out for Stone Edges and Ice Shards and Icicle Crashes. And speaking of Icicle Crash....

New Ability: Steely Spirit
Type: Ice/Steel
New Stats:
HP: 095
Attack: 117 → 137 (+20) {previously 140 (+23)}
Defense: 184 → 235 (+51)
Special Attack: 044 → 052 (+08)
Special Defense: 046 → 075 (+29) {previously 066 (+20)}
Speed: 028 → 020 (-08) {previously 035 (+07)}
(BST: 514 → 614)
Weight: 1113.3 lbs (505.0 kg) → 2204.4 lbs (999.9 kg)
New Moves: Icicle Crash (seriously, how does it still not get this already?)
Description: "The energy of Mega Evolution bolsters its size and indomitable resolve, turning its steel-like body and nearby allies partially into actual living steel."
Much like chemicalmines, I decided to take inspiration from some of Avalugg's Pokedex entries saying it's steel-like. After trying and failing for a day to think of ways to take advantage of this defensively, including my almost-obligatory Storm Drain-esque consideration before I realized that even in this limited meta most Water types still somewhat body this poor guy with their coverage, I decided to instead shift gears. So unlike regular Avalugg, Avalugg-Mega focuses decidedly on offense, having absolutely brutal Heavy Slams and Gyro Balls and being a great cleaner for Trick Room both in Singles and in Doubles. Despite this utterly offensive aspect and newfound neutrality to Stealth Rock and having--gasp!--actual resistances now, it should still be manageable between having two quad weaknesses, still somewhat poor SpD, even slower Speed, and STAB that's resisted by two of the best types in the game in Water and Steel. Granted, Steel types--including itself--that aren't Ghost get rather wrecked by Body Press, but Water types generally don't fold to that easily unless they're already generally frail and/or weak to Fighting (hey there, Greninja). The original Slow-siblings in particular basically give it no end of grief if they're not Toxic'd between resisting its STABs & Body Press, having low enough Speed that Gyro Ball does nothing much while still being faster, randomly having access to Flamethrower, and having the broken ability that is Regenerator. I can admit that I didn't do extensive calcs--in part because Heavy Slam is really annoying to calc for--and that I might have to dump a few more of its stats into SpA or, ironically, raise its Speed (again) a bit back to where I had it for a bit. Shrug. (Even if you don't want to go all "I am become Trick Room, Destroyer of Worlds", being neutral to Stealth Rock now is nice for a mon with Rapid Spin and recovery, and Heavy Slam generally hurts enough that you can likely forego Gyro Ball in those more supportive cases.)
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