Hmm...the last update was crappy. THIS ONE SHALL BE CRAPPIER!
DetroitLolcat's FireRed Nuzlocke Challenge
Part 1:A Parcel for the Professor
After Blue stormed out of the Laboratory, Lolcat spoke with Professor Oak:
"So, Professor. Now that I've gotten my first Pokemon, what am I supposed to do?"
Oak replied, "Whatever you want, Lolcat. You're a Trainer now. You're legally allowed to travel wherever you want, as long as you stay away from Area 51. Trust me, you don't want to know what happened to him. The PokeGovernment would kill me if I told you what happened to him, but you can probably figure it out."
Lolcat exits the Laboratory, and walks north through Pallet Town, ready to walk through Route 1 by himself for the first time. Right outside of Pallet Town was some grass, and Lolcat waited to see his first truly Wild Pokemon, not one that he saw in school. He walks northward and westward, seeing a sign that directed him towards Viridian City to the north. About halfway down the sunny, grassy trail, Lolcat encounters his first Wild Pokemon. It was a heated battle where the turtle killed a Pidgey with three Tackles. After that intense bout, Lolcat and Squirtle continue walking down the dusty train until they encounter another field of grass. Another Pokemon ambushed him, but it was quickly dispatched by Squirtle's Tackles. Squirtle also picks up Bubble on the level-up.
After finishing that harrowing trek, the man and beast enter Viridian City, a medium-large city about twice the size of Pallet Town, and has about three times as many buildings. After reading another Trainer Tips sign giving a short lesson on PP, Lolcat enters the city from the south, seeing if all the areas described in school were actually there. There was a Gym, Pokemon Center, Pokemon Mart, but no XXX Strip Club. Damn Oak, what a liar. Lolcat remembers the first rule of entering a new town, and that is to heal up at the Pokemon Center before exploring in case of a random Rival battle. After that, Lolcat walked over to the second most important building, the Pokemon Market, where he can buy Pokeballs, TMs, and Stones. But none of them are actually there. Once safely inside the building, Lolcat is immediately greeted by the clerk.
"Yo! Kid! You from Pallet Town? 'Cuz we ain't a real fan a' Pallet Town around here!"
"No," Lolcat lied, using his best Viridian City accent, "I'm from Pewter City. I'm stoppin' here to get some stuff so I can go rough up sum' Pallet Town punks, you kno?"
"Yeah, I knoze! Dem Palit kweerz dink dat dey cin jess cum heer an' ruff us up! I'm a' sick a dis crap! U no da old sciencey tree name guy in da fancy Pallet lab? Yeah, dat foo' orda a package from the Viridian shop dat I run, an' he gonna pick it up taday! Wutz you say I give it ta you and you put it somewere safe, ya kno? Somewere where da Oak guy won't find it?"
"Yeah, yeah! I knoze! Whatcha say I take da package, and put it wear da Prof wont find it! Dat'll ruff him real good! An' later we watch The Real Housewives of Viridian City lateh, eh?!"
"I like da way u think, man! Hear, take da packige!"
The guido handed the parcel to Lolcat, who plans on giving it right to Professor Oak. Lolcat wanders down Viridian's streets until he reappears on Route 1. On the route, Lolcat and Squirtle battle a Rattata and Pidgey before reentering Pallet Town. After a short walk down Pallet Town's main street, Lolcat finds Professor Oak's Lab dominating the city's skyline. Entering the Lab, Lolcat sees the usual aides working with Oak on whatever his latest research project is. Oak usually doesn't tell younger Trainers about his plans, as he wants to keep them secret until he's ready to publicly announce his results. After observing the laboratory (and seeing nothing different than what was there a few days ago), Lolcat speaks to the Professor.
"Professor Oak, I picked up your package from the guido in Viridian City."
"Oh, thanks, Lolcat. That was nice of you, that parcel will help in my latest project. Now, Lolcat, I wish to see your pokemon. I know it's only been yours for a few days, but I would like to see it's condition."
Lolcat releases Squirtle from its pokeball, and Oak begins examining its physique and emotional health.
"Hmm...this Squirtle is doing very well. I'm not going to bog you down by running any tests or anything, but a superficial glance indicates that this Squirtle has already begun to develop an emotional bond with you. Probably because it's already gained two levels. Now, I wanted to see my early graduating class, so the other student...err...former student should be joining you momentarily."
"Yo, Gramps! What'd you call me here for?", announced Blue, rushing into the lab.
"Blue, Lolcat, I would like to personally inform you of my current research project. As you probably know, I very rarely let anyone outside the scientific community know about my research project, much less school-age Trainers. However, this project is too great for one Professor to undertake. Not even my aides can finish, much less make progress, on this project. It's called Project Pokedex. Now, I'm attempting something revolutionary here, not something like a previous project. First, I should provide some background. For decades, humans have captured, trained, and studied pokemon. But humans have amassed countless data concerning pokemon. Now, students, Trainers, Professors, Rangers, and every other field professional have not had a portable reference material to quickly and accurately recount that data. That is what the Pokedex strives to do. The Pokedex is a portable device that immediately scans a Pokemon in the field with infrared sensors to detect the species, then recalls from a database of information to provide a brief description of the pokemon that's usable in the field. However, the Pokedex is only a prototype. It has the sensors, but not the data to recall. I want the two of you to capture one of every species of pokemon, thus completing the Pokedex. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Professor", announced Lolcat.
"tl;dr", announced the illustrious, brilliant Blue Oak.
"Good. Take these with you.", Oak said, handing the two prototype Pokedexes to Lolcat and Blue.
"Ha! I got a pokedex! You won't be necessary for this, Lolcat. I'll catch every pokemon known to Kanto before you get halfway there!", stated Blue.
Lolcat exited the Laboratory and entered Blue's house, as Blue's hot sister has a Town Map for Lolcat. She hands the map over to the Trainer and Lolcat thanks her, unfortunately not picking up a phone number.
Lolcat exits the city, looking back on the town that brought him up. Hopefully, this city will produce a Champion. Lolcat bounds out of the city, not healing his Squirtle, and meets a Pidgey. The Pidgey lands a critical Tackle on Squirtle, killing it.
Game over
However, DetroitLolcat (the person playing the game) realized that he's about four minutes into the game, and quickly restarts the Firered emulator.
Three minutes later...
Lolcat bounds out of Pallet Town, this time healing his Squirtle. Lolact bounds into Route 1, smiting Pidgey and Rattata along the way. After an uneventful trek to Viridian City, Lolcat realizes that the road branches two ways, westward and northward. Not knowing the way around, Lolcat takes the western path, also known as Route 22. On this route reside Wild Pokemon, meaning Lolcat will soon double his team size. The odds are for each pokemon:
Mankey, 45%
Rattata, 45%
Spearow, 10%
The pokemon was a Mankey, but only on level 2. Not wanting to kill it in one shot, Lolcat shoots off one Poke Ball, and it doesn't even shake. Knowing that he needs to hurt the little monkey, Lolcat tries a Bubble attack. The attack hits for moderate damage, knocking the monkey's attack by about half. A pokeball should do the trick here, but it eventually took two. :(, future waste of money. Lolcat takes the monkey to the Pokemon Center, and then trains it to the ninth level.
After that grindfest, Lolcat proceeds down Route 22 where he meets Blue for a second confrontation.
BOSS BATTLE: BLUE ROUND 2
Lolcat leads off with Squirtle to meet Pidgey. Pidgey sand-attacks, and Squirtle spams Bubble and Tackle. Bulbasaur comes out, and Squirtle lands a Tail Whip. Lolcat switches Mankey in and rapes.
END OF PART ONE
Note: If you're even Nuzlocking this game, and you choose to do the second Rival Battle, BE PREPARED FOR IT. I lost the first time to hax and died six more times trying to get back to it. All from hax, naturally.