Now that that fool Blue had been taken care of, it was time to explore the entire S.S. Anne fully, training Fearow and Oddish on the way (because seriously, does Dugtrio need any training?). Oddish was the weakest Pokemon on the team, at a measly Level 20. Realizing this, Lolcat placed the little weed (addict) at the front of his party and entered the room to the right of his cabin. A lone Gentleman stood in the room with two Pokeballs in his belt, so Lolcat challenged him to a battle. Unfortunately, the two Pokeballs contained Growlithe, so Dugtrio had to do the heavy lifting in the battle.
Now that the right side of this floor has been explored, Lolcat decided to take the stairs to the lower-level cabins of the ship. There were half a dozen cabins in total, but the floor ended in a dead-end. Lolcat opened the first door and a lone Rich Boy stood in the room with his Machoke. Lolcat began a conversation:
"Oh, hey, would you like a battle?"
"Oh...no thank you. My Machoke is all tired, as I just used one of my Strength HMs on it. I 'm very rich, you see. I have over five hundred Strength HMs and RainbowBadges from my colleague in Celadon City."
Lolcat continued: "So, uhh...could I have one of those Strength HMs?"
"Hmm...I do have hundreds of them and I will only ever need one in my entire life, so I would have no use for any of the other HMs........No. However, since I know you're doing a Nuzlocke run...may I interest you in this Super Potion?"
"Piss off", replied our eloquent hero.
Incredibly pissed off, Lolcat yelled vile obscenities at the Rich Boy and stormed into the next cabin, throwing Oddish at a Sailor in rage. The Sailor tried to defend himself with a Shellder, Tentacool, and Horsea, but all three were mowed down by the fastest Bullet Seeds the man had ever seen in his life. The Seeds were shot so quickly that Oddish collapsed to the ground, crying after the battle.
Lolcat, still in his fit of blind rage, yelled at the tiny weed Pokemon, "Get up! Quit faking an injury! I saw you, you have like thirty-something HP left! Is something wrong? How are you feeling?"
The Oddish replied "Gloomy Gloom..."
"Gloomy? What's wrong? You just plowed through some Trainer and got a crap-ton of Experience! Why are you so gloomy???"
At that moment, it hit Lolcat. Gloom is that Pokemon that Oddish evolves into. Calming down and reopening his eyes, Lolcat saw that the Pokemon standing before him was definitely not an Oddish, but a stronger, darker, faster Gloom. Proud of his new Pokemon, Lolcat encapsulated the larger Pokemon and moved on to the next Trainer. The second Sailor possessed only a Shellder, which Gloom tested out it's new Bullet Seeds on.
After the second cabin was defeated, Lolcat moved on to the third. Three Absorbs from Super-Gloom later, Lolcat moved on to the fourth. Three absorbs and a TM44 later, Lolcat moved on to the fifth. Since Gloom had been given all the attention recently, Lolcat decided to give Fearow some much-needed training. Even though Fearow didn't have the type advantage, her (Fearow is a girl?!??!?!) superior Attack stat swept the Fishermens' weak, unevolved Pokemon without much trouble.
Back on the middle decks, it was not much different. Lolcat switched between Gloom and Fearow and tore through the floor. On the furthest cabin to the left, however, was a lone Gentleman with no intentions to battle...
"Oh, sir, would you like to have a battle? I've been wanting to train my Pokemon." asked Lolcat.
"Oh, no, no, no! I cannot battle, I am too occupied with something at the moment! You see...my name is Looker! I am a member of the top-secret Global Police! You might be wondering why I told you of the Global Police! You see...the organization itself is not top-secret! We have a website called com.nogoms.www! However...there is much more to our organization than is on that website! In fact, there are thousands of stories about criminal organizations that I am privy to; stories so blood chilling that I have to wear a heating pad for my blood! Now, I must continue my research on Team Rocket, as they must not be allowed to capture Saffron City!"
Lolcat decided that it must not be difficult to make it onto the Global Police if that nutcase is a top agent. Now that the entrance floor of the S.S. Anne was devoid of Trainers, it was time to move on to the upper level. The S.S. Anne had four levels. The upper deck and Captain's quarters were on the top, then three levels of cabins with the exit on the second floor from the bottom. On the second-highest floor there lie three staircases: one to the Captain's quarters, one to the upper decks, and one back down to the exit.
Lolcat started tearing through a Fisherman with Gloom, and Gloom leveled up to Lv. 24 in the battle. After the battle, Gloom asked to have a word with Lolcat:
"Hey, man...I just figured out this awesome 'move' which does tons of 'damage' if you know what I mean. Next battle, I gotta show you this stuff...It's such a good move and it'll kill a ton of Pokemons..."
Lolcat agreed, though he was a bit confused with the Gloom's garbled speech and heavy, slow dialect. After hearing the incoherent Gloom's request, Lolcat headed out to the upper decks where he could battle the last few Trainers and showcase Gloom's new "technique". The ship's deck was massive but only a few Trainers were there. Lolcat guessed that most of the Trainers were in the cabins battling Pokemon or resting. The first Trainer that accepted Lolcat's challenge was a Sailor, who Fearow quickly soloed. The second Trainer was another Sailor who met a similar fate as the first. Now that Fearow had leveled up, it was time to test out Gloom's new technique.
Lolcat realized quickly that he miscalculated the number of Trainers ready for battle on the ship, so he decided to test out the new move after he arrived on dry land. The last order of business on the ship is to receive the HM01 Cut from the Captain. The Captain's quarters were a short walk away from the upper decks, so Lolcat ran up the stairs and began speaking to the Captain:
"Oh, hello sir. I've heard that you are able to teach the Cut technique to Pokemon, so I'm wondering if you could teach some of my Pokemon the move Cut."
The captain replied: "BLAAAARGH! SEASICK! BLAAAGH! WILL TEACH CUT FOR SENSUAL THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE!!1 bLLLLAAAAArgh!"
Lolcat realized that he needed this HM to make it closer to the Pokemon League, so he picked up some of the aromatic oils and lotions and starting rubbing the Captain's bare back on a massage bed. After one or two hours, the portly, sixty-year-old Captain decided that he had enough of torturing Lolcat and handed over the HM01.
Lolcat then ran like hell off of that ship to go clean himself in the Vermilion Pokemon Center. In the Pokemon Center, Lolcat withdrew a Spearow from the Box to teach Cut to. Unfortunately, Spearow could not learn Cut so Lolcat went to drastic measures to acquire a Cut slave. In a house directly south of the Pokemon Center, there lie one little girl that triggers an in-game trade: Spearow for Farfetch'd. Since Lolcat has a Spearow and hasn't yet acquired a Pokemon in Vermilion City, the trade did not break a Nuzlocke rule. Though Farfetch'd is a completely useless piece of crap and is only worth teaching Cut to, the little bird added 50 extra swagger points to the team. It was Adamant nature, too...
Realizing that the night was about to fall, Lolcat returned to the Pokemon Center for the night and tuned into the Global News Network on the Center's TV. There was a bit of breaking news coming from the Hoenn region that piqued Lolcat's interest:
...Live from the Hoenn regional Pokemon League where former Gym Leader Wallace is currently challenging Champion and Steel-type Pokemon Master Steven for the title! The two Masters begin the battle with Wallace's Wailord dueling against Steven's Skarmory! The iron bird starts off the battle with an Aerial Ace which barely fazes the whale, who retaliates with a Water Spout, brutally knocking the Skarmory into yellow health range! Barely missing a beat, Skarmory lands a Toxic blast on the Wailord who retches in pain, but was still able to land another Water Spout on the Skarmory, finishing off the Champion's bird and giving Wallace a 6-5 lead!
Lolcat was intrigued by a Championship battle, so he continued watching the two Masters compete for dominance of the Hoenn region:
...Wailord suffers some Poison damage but still stays standing strong with over 70% health! Steven goes for the type advantage and sends out Cradily to face the poisoned whale! However, the Wailord gets the drop on the ancient leech and throws out a Blizzard, landing a direct hit! Cradily takes advantage of the situation and throws out an Ancientpower to strike the Wailord, but the prehistoric power barely scratches the whale! Toxic damage begins to rack up, though! The Wailord retaliates with a Double-Edge, barely scratching the Cradily who strikes back with a Sludge Bomb. Combined with Poison damage, the Wailord is about to go down, but not before setting up a Rain Dance to support his team. Tie score: 5 Pokemon each!
The match had been going on for almost half an hour, but yet only two Pokemon had fallen. Lolcat had seen Steven Stone before in a TV battle, but he had never heard of Wallace. The crowd was chanting "Steven! Steven!" as Wallace was about to send out his next Pokemon:
Steven's Cradily is hurting, but it got a KO on Wallace's Wailord! A heavy rain has set on the field which must aid Wallace immensely! Wallace sends out Tentacruel to outspeed and knock out the ancient leech! Interestingly enough, the jellyfish decides to launch a Toxic attack of its own on Cradily, while Cradily damages the jellyfish with an Ancientpower, which the jellyfish shakes off! Tentacruel moves on the offensive, blasting the leech with a Hydro Pump! Cradily fires off a weak Sludge Bomb before the Toxic damage puts it to sleep! Wallace leads 5-4!
Lolcat realizes that Steven is making some questionable decisions in this battle: He's down a Pokemon and Wallace's Tentacruel is still at about 85% health. Lolcat watched the next round of the battle:
Steven throws out his third Pokemon: A Claydol?? The Tentacruel outspeeds and lands a Sludge Bomb on the doll, as the slower Pokemon sets up a Light Screen to support its team. Now on the offensive, Tentacruel lands a Toxic on the Claydol who fails to attack for the turn! The heavy Rain settles, too! Tentacruel moves to full-on attack mode by throwing a Hydro Pump at the Water-weak Pokemon, but the Light Screen absorbs a lot of the damage! Claydol retorts with an Earthquake to directly strike the jellyfish, knocking it right out of commission! Four to Four!
Lolcat wondered why Steven took so long to slay the Tentacruel. Oh well, the battle was getting good:
Whiscash is selected by Wallace to destroy the clay doll, starting off with a Surf right to the face! Claydol fires off a weak Ancientpower on the whiskery fish before succumbing to Toxic damage. 4-3 Wallace!
Lolcat was surprised that that round ended so quickly...
Steven sends out Armaldo! Armaldo can't take Whiscash's speed as the fish sets up an Amnesia to boost its stats! Armaldo throws out an Ancientpower that doesn't even touch the Whiscash, who begins its turn with a brutal Earthquake, doing over 60% to Armaldo! The hurting fossilized giant retaliates with Ancientpower again, but to no avail! Whiscash feels cocky on the next turn and tries to finish off the Armaldo with a Hyper Beam, but the attack doesn't nearly defeat the Armaldo who shakes it off and fires back with a third Ancientpower, trying but failing to get a stat boost! As Whiscash recharges, Armaldo seizes the opportunity to land an Aerial Ace on the fish, this time striking it for moderate damage but it's still in the green! Whiscash realizes his past mistake and just kills the fossil with a Surf to take a 4-2 lead for Wallace!
Lolcat has no idea what's gotten into Steven. Steven always battles in a calculated manner; he never blindly goes for stat boosts instead of all-out attacking...
Steven, irritated, throws out an Aggron to combat the fish, even though it was weak to both Water and Ground. Whiscash decides to prepare for the onslaught by setting up further with Amnesia, and Aggron capitalizes on this by launching a Thunder at it. Unfortunately, it doesn't even touch the fish as the Whiscash as the fish maximizes its Special Defense. Aggron begins its offensive with a Dragon Claw, brutally damaging the startled fish who retorts with a Surf, knocking the rock beast into the yellow. Aggron tries to hit it with a Thunder again, but the attack fails and Whiscash attacks with a Hyper Beam. Aggron tries a third unsuccessful Thunder and then, while the Whiscash is recharging, sets up a SolarBeam. Whiscash, realizing that Aggron needs to charge up the move, drops Aggron in an Earthquake and giving Wallace a 4-1 lead
Lolcat knew something was up with this battle. Aggron could have easily won that match-up.
Steven's final Pokemon is a Metagross, but Whiscash can still outspeed it and land an Earthquake on it before landing a Psychic on the badly beaten fish, ending the round. 3-1 Wallace!
At least Steven made up for the last few rounds with that, thought Lolcat.
"Go, Ludicolo!" announces Wallace, as he sends out Ludicolo. Metagross was noshing on a Sitrus Berry as this occurred, raising it's HP to a healthy 45%. Ludicolo starts off the possibly final round with a Leech Seed, basically sealing the game up for Wallace...
Lolcat didn't bother to watch the last few turns, he knew the battle would end 3-0 in favor of Wallace. Looks like Hoenn's getting a new Champion, but at the time that didn't concern Lolcat. Lolcat was still focused on conquering Kanto, not moving on to Hoenn anytime soon. In one day Lolcat would be challenging the Vermilion Gym, and Dugtrio would get its time to shine. Tomorrow, Lolcat will get to see Gloom's new technique, too...
The next morning, Lolcat woke up and immediately rushed to Vermilion Gym, where he registered a challenge with Lt. Surge. Lt. Surge spoke to Lolcat as he registered the challenge:
"Before we battle, you have to solve the puzzle of the Vermilion Gym! That will include battling three of my finest Trainers as well, so you better be vigilant!"
Lolcat battled the first Gym Trainer who sent out a Pikachu to battle Gloom. Gloom told Lolcat, "Are you ready to see my secret technique?" Gloom then pulled a syringe from its flower and shot it into its own arm. The words "Gloom used Acid!" appeared on the screen. Gloom then massacred the Trainer in a drug-spurred rampage. Dugtrio then smote the last two Trainers with super-powered Ground attacks and Lolcat dug through garbage to find Lt. Surge in the back.
"I solved your puzzle. Battle me."
Surge began his speech about the Vermilion Gym: "You won't last a minute in combat with me! You'll need some ENERGY to power through a challenger, and with your puny power you won't last a second! Back in the war (pokemon has war???), my Pokemon saved my ass! I threw Voltorbs at civilians and am wanted in 27 countries for war crimes! I'm the REAL DEAL, kid!"
The battle began, and Lolcat threw out a Dugtrio to combat the combatant's Voltorb.
"You know, Lt. Surge..."
Dugtrio dug a hole!
"For someone who loves war so much..."
Dugtrio used Dig!
"You should know a little more about trench warfare!"
Foe Voltorb, Pikachu, Raichu Fainted!
Lt Surge growled, “Graaaaagh! Who was the moron who put my Gym right next to the fucking Diglett cave! All Trainers fucking do is catch a fucking Diglett and rape my Gym! Whoever runs the Pokemon League must be an idiot, as this Gym is almost as easy as Brock’s! RRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGRGRGRGRRREEEEEE1!!!!1!one!!!”
As Lt. Surge went on about how crappy his Gym is, Lolcat took a Thunderbadge from the back of Lt. Surge’s Gym. He also took a TM for the move Shock Wave, though it’s doubtful that he’ll actually use the move.
End of Part 6
