Ok, I've been meaning to reply to this for a while now. Just haven't had the time. Homework kind of exploded on me. Plus, I've entered myself in a few tournaments on-site, so, that's keeping me busy too. First, thank you very much, Res, for taking the time to do this.
I... don't exactly know what you mean by verisimilitude, but your first point is well taken. Looking back over those parts, it does feel a little odd.You seem unsure of exactly what kind of log you want to do. You could do one with a lot of detail about what happens in-game, like EvilBob's, or a stylized, abridged "story" version like most of the ones in this thread, including mine. You routinely refer to moves and items by their proper names, like "Nugget," but you include a lot of embellishment also, like hitting on Misty. References to in-game mechanics break verisimilitude, but a flavor-based narrative feels awkward in a mechanical log.
I would suggest that you stick with the "story" format and start describing things instead of acting like your character has a couple of Gamefaqs tabs open on his Pokedex. Focus on your character's observations, inner monologue. The present tense you are using mostly lends itself to that. Try to think about what you would actually notice and find remarkable as you experienced things.
*blush* You're too kind. It's rare I get encouragement like this on my writing. And that is exactly what I intend to do from now on. Sometimes, I do tend to rush a little... Mainly because, well, I'm kind of the fixer in my group of friends... The one they come to with problems. It can get distracting. However, I've decided that the second that happens, I shall save my document, endeavour to help them, and then continue. Not try and juggle them. Thanks again, Res. You couldn't have been more helpful!The pace also feels rushed right now. I would try including more dialogue instead of describing conversations. Also, give more words to things with more significance, as a general rule. You gave the Nugget Bridge about double the attention you gave the Cerulean Gym. Sentences like, "My new stalker soon comes out of hiding from behind the Gym Statue, which is then also destroyed by Seedan, after I see Blue's name on it." You immediately move on to talking about type effectiveness. Is your protagonist (and the stalker, too, presumably) really so unflappable that smashing a giant statue inside a major public building gets such a casual description, and apparently no physical or verbal reaction?
On the whole, I like what you are doing with it. I like the minute-by-minute intensity of the present tense, and I like your observations. I would just try to give your character a bit more of a describable personality and focus more on the in-universe details. More vivid descriptions of events, less use of proper nouns from the strategy guide. I think dedicating a bit more time to each post could end up making your log one of the highlights of this thread.