rb analyses need help

CaptKirby did a huge jynx rehaul and i cleaned it up a bit, but im not sure about some things with it. Is there a point where it just gets too long? The point of these analyses is for a brief summary. To quote the article:

You also ought to remember that Blizzard is 90% in RBY, and a frozen pokemon never thaws in RBY, so this makes Blizzard very powerful
Click to expand...

You do want to use Psychic if you are trying to get an opponent's special to fall, since Psychic has a 30% chance to make this happen.
Click to expand...

is this stuff really necessary. I would rather be succint and to the point.

Also on the whole I tried to cut down on run on sentences, but i still get a vibe from this article that the sentences, in some cases, are just too long to effectively summarize and teach new and possibly less intelligent/younger players.
 
You can feel free to edit it down if you want. I was trying to make it as informative as possible...I figured that some people really might not realize 'hey Jynx has pretty much the fastest and most powerful Blizzard in the game,' so I put more information than necessary.
 
dont get the wrong idea, it was really in depth and well done, I think its great, i just wonder if we need to tell people that pokemon dont unfreeze in rby, or do they already know that.
 
I think thats the job of a beginners guide, I was going to go in depth about Wrap in my Victreebel analysis but I decided that I would link to an article that explained it better so it doesn't clutter up the analysis page. I don't remember what the old beginners guide had, but I think it might need some sort of rehaul, i don't know.
 
chaos talked to me about this a little, because I ran into the same problem with Arbok, and he said that there should be some sort of guide explaining Wrap written, and then to just link to that within the articles later or something
 
Cleaned up Charizard's Opinion bit. Is he really considered BL in RBY? Might want to alter the last sentence if so. Also mentioned Fissure in Other Options.

Edited Flareon's page some, but it still needs a more thorough look.

:@'s Counter list looks a bit wordy but I didn't mess with it, just thought I'd mention it.

Edited Rhydon's Opinion bit, Vineon had something about it needing looked over. I personally think half the reason everyone needs Rhydon (or Golem) anyway is just so Zapdos doesn't rip through the rest of the team, but regardless of my personal opinion it's a bit silly that half of Rhydon's column is about how Electric-types suck. Added something about the uses of Normal resistance.
 
Almost done with Hypno, I'll be submitting it later today (hopefully), so that means I did Victreebel, Zapdos, Jolteon, Raichu, Golem, and Hypno to be submitted. Anyone is free to look through and edit what they feel is necessary.
 
Messed a little with Gyarados. Fixed some minor errors with the text and also added Tauros to "something like Chansey or a paralyzed in Hyper Beam range" because I assumed it was Tauros.

Sorry if I fucked up somehing :x

Edit: Electabuzz too.
 
thanks for working on stuff yu-ri-oh... you can NEVER fuck anything up. It is impossible for anyone (except fat Misty) to make a mistake that cannot be fixed! Be bold sir!
 
http://www.smogon.com:81/scms/revision/3295/
Does that many separate paragraphs are needed? I think they could be condensed.

Edit: did it myself. Reworded some stuff and put the wrapper's comments in one single paragraph. I followed zerowing's lead and cut the Wrap explanation while puting a "link" to the begginer's guide. I left the bug bit though because I didn't see it when skim read the guide.

Edit2: oh also moved the Gengar part to the counters sections.

Edit3: just realised how Agili-wrap is a "recent" trend in RBY hahaha.
 
For some reason the scms isn't loading for me or I would have Hypno up.
 
Oh cool as soon as my home computer is back I'll do that Dragonite right and propably a handful of others.
 
I lost my Hypno analysis so I had to start all over again from scratch, no big deal though. I've been god awful busy with some irl stuff and don't have the drive to do Pokemon analysis 2 in the morning. I should be free during this weekend at which time I would like to crank out at least 3 or 4.

Sorry about that, I feel so bad when I'm not contributing as I feel I let everyone down.
 
Guess I'm the only one doing this now =/, I finally finished up Hypno and submitted it. I did Gengar last night since that was needing a rehaul, didn't submit it because my internet died, I'll have it up later. Like before anyone is free to check and fix up things. I'll be getting another 2 done tonight hopefully.
 
zerowing - do you want me to move this to C&C where more than just Inside Scoopers can help out?
 
I don't think there is much left to do, but the more help the better. I'm sure a few regular users have some good ideas I could look over and submit for the SCMS.
 
Im sorry but with exams coming up and a new girlfriend this just isnt gonna happen for me until the christmas holidays, im not gonna lie and say I will be able to find time. Sorry everyone :(
 
Max and I have teamed up to start to really crank these out. I'll be focusing on total rewrites or things needing major help and he backs me up by checking my grammar, spelling, etc. He takes a load off me as I don't have to be perfect, instead I can focus on actual information and get these out quicker.
 
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