Raj
CAP Playtesting Expert
As the title implies, I have a drug problem and I want to talk about it. Since most of friends are drug users themselves, I cannot go to them to seek meaningful advice. About 10 months ago, I found out that my best friend and another of our friends were spoking pot. This was a little bit after I started drinking. I really disapproved, especially since a friend had just been jailed for drugs and theft. However, 2 months later, I learned that marijuana wasn't really harmful- and let's face it, it's not. This went from being an every other weekend activity to a weekend activity to the point where burning was occurring once, twice a day. This is because I have a really addictive personality. If I didn't, I would still be buying Pokemon games 10 years later <------ that's the only semi-comical thing here.
Some place in between, I became exposed to other drugs, mainly prescription pill abuse and ecstasy use at parties. At first I was hesitant, but then after a while I started to use these substances as well. It started with a Xanax bar that my friend game to me because he couldn't sell it because it was broken. I was escpecially scared and exited to try ecstasy, mainly because teachers of old made it seem particularly dangerous (which it can be, should you not drink water). Later, we went through a stage where Shrooms were coming to us at super low prices and we did those till the guy moved.
Point is, I realize that drugs aren't beneficial to your health, but I also learned from experience that they aren't what society makes them out to be. Nothing I tried was a "hard" drug and I always took the necessary precautions to make sure that all of would be safe.
Early December, my parents discovered two high grade marijuana seeds germinating in my room. It was thoughtless on my part and my parents were quick to have me tested. Unfortunately, having smoked the previous day and every day for weeks before that, I topped off the tests measurements with THC. I was greatful for the lax punishment I received- only a haircut and grounding from driving until I could pass a drug test. Not that hard, huh?
It was going well, well as good as it goes when you're having withdrawal symptoms (of which I still have. Usually they last to about 10 days, but this was my life and I still have them- of course I'm told it's all in my head). I was behaving well until a couple days after New Years. I had had a 6 pack of Z-bars hiding in my room and I was to watch my sister for the day. I intentionally ate 2 of them. However, as I've learned in the past, when no one is there to watch me, I will unconsciously slip my hand in my pocked and eat the rest one-by-one like candy; this is precisely what happened. I ate 6 fuckin' bars. I was trashed, and wanted to Robo Trip, too (which I'd never done before). So I ride my bike to a nearby Wal-Mart to buy it and they refuse since I'm so fucked up. I don't remember anything else until later that night.
So now it's later that night and my parents can see I'm wasted. Their first assumption is that I'm just wasted on rum. They learn about the pills, though I don't remember taking telling them. My sister, told them all about how we went to Wal-Mart and how I talked to the pharmacist, so they call him up and found out I tried to buy DXM products. They take away my car, my phone, and all my money...
It's basically like house arrest (my dad's in law enforcemtn btw). I've been sober since then, but fiend for something at every waking moment. I no longer want to do any other substance but marijuana. Before getting caught, everything else was on rare occasion. My parents no longer trust any of my friends because they think they're just like me (which wouldn't be a lie, but they've got parents of their own to bitch at them).
My main concern right now is that I know I fucked up badly, but I don't know how to build trust back up with my parents. I want to smoke pot, but I can certainly go without it. I cannot, however, go without friends for much longer- this is just terrible, especially at a moment when I've got to be "cool". I've been pretty popular (not that this has changed), but I'm no longer doing anything social at all. On top of this, I had hoped to being going out with a girl who's deeply into me by now, but I can't/ don't know how the fuck I can even do it anymore without a phone, money, or a car. I know it sounds silly and it normally wouldn't be a problem to ask her out, but without pride? Am I supposed to make her pay and pick me up? No, never, that's a man's job.
How do I un-fuck myself?
How do I confront my parents and get them to trust me? I have no problem being drug free except for weed on special occassions (prom- they should know this >_>). My parents said they'd be testing me, but so far have not since the intial.
After that, I can figure stuff out on my own. I really do want to change, for myself and for others. Especially this girl, because we mean alot to eachother, but for now it's like really awkward dating at school. >_<.
Some place in between, I became exposed to other drugs, mainly prescription pill abuse and ecstasy use at parties. At first I was hesitant, but then after a while I started to use these substances as well. It started with a Xanax bar that my friend game to me because he couldn't sell it because it was broken. I was escpecially scared and exited to try ecstasy, mainly because teachers of old made it seem particularly dangerous (which it can be, should you not drink water). Later, we went through a stage where Shrooms were coming to us at super low prices and we did those till the guy moved.
Point is, I realize that drugs aren't beneficial to your health, but I also learned from experience that they aren't what society makes them out to be. Nothing I tried was a "hard" drug and I always took the necessary precautions to make sure that all of would be safe.
Early December, my parents discovered two high grade marijuana seeds germinating in my room. It was thoughtless on my part and my parents were quick to have me tested. Unfortunately, having smoked the previous day and every day for weeks before that, I topped off the tests measurements with THC. I was greatful for the lax punishment I received- only a haircut and grounding from driving until I could pass a drug test. Not that hard, huh?
It was going well, well as good as it goes when you're having withdrawal symptoms (of which I still have. Usually they last to about 10 days, but this was my life and I still have them- of course I'm told it's all in my head). I was behaving well until a couple days after New Years. I had had a 6 pack of Z-bars hiding in my room and I was to watch my sister for the day. I intentionally ate 2 of them. However, as I've learned in the past, when no one is there to watch me, I will unconsciously slip my hand in my pocked and eat the rest one-by-one like candy; this is precisely what happened. I ate 6 fuckin' bars. I was trashed, and wanted to Robo Trip, too (which I'd never done before). So I ride my bike to a nearby Wal-Mart to buy it and they refuse since I'm so fucked up. I don't remember anything else until later that night.
So now it's later that night and my parents can see I'm wasted. Their first assumption is that I'm just wasted on rum. They learn about the pills, though I don't remember taking telling them. My sister, told them all about how we went to Wal-Mart and how I talked to the pharmacist, so they call him up and found out I tried to buy DXM products. They take away my car, my phone, and all my money...
It's basically like house arrest (my dad's in law enforcemtn btw). I've been sober since then, but fiend for something at every waking moment. I no longer want to do any other substance but marijuana. Before getting caught, everything else was on rare occasion. My parents no longer trust any of my friends because they think they're just like me (which wouldn't be a lie, but they've got parents of their own to bitch at them).
My main concern right now is that I know I fucked up badly, but I don't know how to build trust back up with my parents. I want to smoke pot, but I can certainly go without it. I cannot, however, go without friends for much longer- this is just terrible, especially at a moment when I've got to be "cool". I've been pretty popular (not that this has changed), but I'm no longer doing anything social at all. On top of this, I had hoped to being going out with a girl who's deeply into me by now, but I can't/ don't know how the fuck I can even do it anymore without a phone, money, or a car. I know it sounds silly and it normally wouldn't be a problem to ask her out, but without pride? Am I supposed to make her pay and pick me up? No, never, that's a man's job.
How do I un-fuck myself?
How do I confront my parents and get them to trust me? I have no problem being drug free except for weed on special occassions (prom- they should know this >_>). My parents said they'd be testing me, but so far have not since the intial.
After that, I can figure stuff out on my own. I really do want to change, for myself and for others. Especially this girl, because we mean alot to eachother, but for now it's like really awkward dating at school. >_<.
