17th
Martin (3/10) - Billy More “Running in the 90’s” low effort sub, this song has been played at least three times in the past week in various reveals, and has steadily dropped in quality. Is it a song? Yes, technically. I like it, kinda? But holy shit someone please find a new song
16th
vonFiedler (3.8/10) - Frankie Goes To Hollywood “If You Gotta Make a Fool of Somebody” his voice doesn’t fit the backing, or the backing doesn’t fit his voice, and the entire song is a jumbled mess. his backup singers shouldn’t be here if this is an emotional song, and he shouldn’t be Dipping and Dropping his voice if this is supposed to be a serious song. also i’m getting a serious Scar from the Lion King feel from this song, and his were the worst from that soundtrack,,,
15th
Snype (5.2/10) - TLC “It’s Sunny” this is a “fun” poppy song and it rips a sound bit from September by Earth Wind and Fire, but fails to make literally anything else happen. the vocals are generic, the rest of the backing is Okay, but it does get me tapping my foot so points for that i guess.
14th
Rodan (6.2/10) - Madonna “4 Minutes” this is almost a bad song and almost a good song, and while i love both of these artists, this song isn’t exactly their best. intro is weak imo, and the back half isn’t everything it could be.
13th
LW (6.8/10) - Ghost Trick “4 Minutes Before Death” sounds like an intro to a haunted house mission. gets your attention going haywire trying to consume everything in front of your eyes to make sure you’re not going to die, just like good vidya music will, and it doesn’t drag on like i fully expected it to (4 minutes of that would Not have scored as well probably) i’ll put this at bare minimum of a full play for ya LW.
From LW: Love the game, best looking most stylish gem on the DS(Available on IOS NOW). This the more hectic end game variation of the gameplay's theme. Perfect when you have 4 minutes of rewindable time to save someone's life. Same composer as the OG Ace Attorney stuff. Perfect for solving puzzles with a time limit. Okay fine it's not the most listenable at any time song, but I have heavy nostalgic ties to it, there are you happy now you monster?
12th
Blazade (7.0/10) - Borealis “Finest Hour” thanks for sending another short metal song, just want you to know that’s not necessary. this one has some interesting duality vocals, where you’ve got some vaguely standard metal vocals (if that exists) with some underlying screams which come out to play every once in a while. kinda distracted me from the rest of the song, which on closer listen is pretty Standard. @ 2:48 it moves out of that kind into a soft, spoken set of vocals which i can’t understand but feels kinda ominous in a McEwan way.
11th
Myzozoa (7.1/10) - Blondie “Parallel Lines Eleven Fifty Nine” i like her voice in this song a lot more than usual. her guitar/drums backing is kinda bland, but the keyboard is a good reprieve from that. the song drops off at 2:44 which is kinda where i expected it to end given it’s a myzo sub, but it comes back and decides to fade out in a normal way.
From Myzo: this is one of my fav blondie songs and a great song for driving. kind of manic and arrogant, like me.
10th
KoC (7.2/10) - The Zombies “Time Of The Season” this sounds like a Good version of the beatles, with better drums, better vocals, and another sick keyboard. also, who is your daddy knights? ;)
in a tie9th
Lil Bean (7.3/10) - WEEB good piano leads into what’s a fairly Family Friendly version of music, after which someone else takes over and i like their voice, but the two don’t work Together. they work separately, and i wish there were more of that, since the vocals take away from what’s a pretty good instrumental. this song should’ve done so much better :(
7th
Eagle4 (7.4/10) - Jamie T “Don’t You Find” this is giving off some strong murder vibes. like, casual cask of amontillado vibes. this song has too much power, it’s going to break out of youtube and possess some janitor in a hospital, causing an outbreak of the zombie virus.
7th
Sketchup (7.4/10) - The Pop Group “We Are Time” part two of the murder duo. this one gave me much stronger vibes, but was the weaker song. this one feels almost like a ritual, but since no demons manifested in my living room while listening to this, i have to assume it isn’t. powerful feelings carried them both, so congrats on that.
From Sketchup: This might be my weirdest pick but I still chose it because not only does it have time in its title, the dub influence and the amazing guitar work also make this song timeless.
6th
DLE (7.5/10) - Semisonic “Closing Time” this song is super cliche and exactly what i was going to use as a header. emotional enough to make me not feel bad for liking it, poppy enough for me to like it.
From DLE: In addition to just being a jam, I used to moderate for a pokemon podcast that would play this as an outro to every episode, so it's sort of a time stamp for me and those memories and people. On the song, it's really catchy and a great song to bust out at drunk karaoke nights with friends.
5th Walrein (8.3/10) - Vulfpeck “Wait For The Moment” his voice is beautiful and i’m gay. smooth backing keeps the focus on his voice, which is where i think it should be. listening to the lyrics is a bit of a mistake, but just hearing him is a treat. I like the drums more than i like the bass, but that’s okay, they’re all soft and good.
From Walrein: Continuing the chill groove, we have a song from Vulfpeck, the kings of chill grooves. Everything in this song is perfectly calculated to be as pleasant, peaceful, and nostalgic as possible. Antwaun Stanley's voice is liquid gold, and the backing instrumentals, as should be expected, are all completely fantastic (the bassline in particular is great; thanks, Joe Dart). Cat fit falters outside the title and first few lines but consider this: I don't really care, song's fucking great. Went on a mad Vulfpeck binge like 2 weeks ago and this may be my favorite of their songs - certainly my favorite with Antwaun.
4th
Yeti (8.9/10) - Queen “Don’t Stop Me Now” basic sub is basic. there’s a reason people stopped submitting Queen, and it’s because like four different people did to you, and we realized we picked the most cliche and well known Queen songs. oh who the hell am i kidding, i’m gay for Freddie Mercury in leather. i was going to sub this to LG for party songs, so you’re lucky i changed my sub or you would’ve gotten the same score i did. (after confirming with LG, you would’ve gotten pandercapped at 8, so congrats)
3rd
LG (9.0/10) - Jeff Williams ft Casey Williams “This Will Be The Day” u submitted this to me like, four hours before reveal, but thankfully i’ve listened to this song a bajillion times before. show is great, and the fact that i’ve heard the first third of this before watching some badass fight scenes doesn’t hurt. what does hurt is that this is the third best song off of Vol. 1, keeping you in third best. Sorry trash panda. you didn’t do any writeups per se, but we’ve talked abt this stuff before
2nd
Granny Pie (9.4/10) - Hans Zimmer “Time” the rise on this is real. you’ve got nearly a minute of what seems like silence, to three minutes of HOOOOO boy, to once again soft and “what have i done” kinda thing.
From Granny Pie: This is… / Gonna be a header for one of my categories. Epic Orchestra. / Because it's simple. / But powerful. / Very powerful. / It gives me a profound sense of realizing loss, but that hope still comes back. / Hope always comes back. / Just as the sun always will rise again. / As will we all from the depths of our own despair
1st
atomicllamas (10/10) - Lord Huron “The Night We Met” this is almost exactly what i’m looking for from a song. his voice is gay, the soft harmonies behind him, a constant guitar strumming along, thank u v much for this song. i’m going to listen to it for literally the rest of the day. enjoy ALL the points because i’m gay.
Randy Newman "You've Got A Friend in Me" (8/10) this is nostalgic in the supreme since i unironically listened to this throughout elementary school and met one of my best friends listening to this song. sue me.
Balenescu Quartet "Robots" (6.5/10) i found myself wandering a lot during this song, since the themes didn't bring me in, and there wasn't a whole lot of variance to the song. it's certainly well performed, i just didn't enjoy it, y'know?
Sex Pistols "God Save the Queen" (7.1/10) this song is a lot better than the other Sex Pistols that i got, faster + better garbage sound, just more of what i like out of bands. definitely enjoyable, but i'm not gonna go back to this song ever again probably.
all of these scores are then reduced 10% for being late, and reflected in this scoreboard:The Coconut Song (5/10) i can't believe you unironically listen to this song now, but it's not offensive to listen to, and the chorus behind it is actually kinda enjoyable. i don't want to know this much about a coconut, or really any plants, especially since a lot of the information thrown at me is useless.