SmogOFF DOOM

Villain eat your brains like a voracious zombie/
Ooh mami, he loves the taste of umami/
Words flowing out his mouth like a tsunami/
Coast to coast living: Jason Giambi/
Silver slugger, main thugger, he’s a British right bugger/
Got more hoes than kids by the Duggars/
Take the bull by the horns, but he’s not an Ares/
All his rhymes could fill libraries with/

Best sellers, how does he tell her?/
They’re not even friends, he’s no Ross Geller/
Putting other rappers down like Old Yeller/
When he counts his money, call the bank tellers/
Finished basement, don’t need a cellar/
You might be doing well but he’s doing well-er/
Cuz he buys low and he’s a high seller/
Everybody knows DOOM as a smart feller
 
Animaniacs sample: Hellllloooooooo, nurse!
Rear-end your girlfriend; in the bedroom he's sleazy
DOOM'll give her a Lucky Egg, bend her over easy
Blast ass, smash her clam shell like Cloyster, an' grab her cash too
Hand it to the metal man, the Choice for Scooby doobie doo
Premium hash to puff and pass the baton
Meteor Mash buff stacks with the Band on
 
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DOOM slides down the chimney smooth like he’s made of silk/
On the hunt for some cookies and a glass of milk/
He’s black with soot, or maybe that’s his melanin/
Big belly rapper, got a bowl full of gelatin/
Skeleton hellions be skinnier than isthmus/
A sleigh full of thick hoes: the true meaning of Christmas/
DOOM make it rain, dear, and if she got a red nose/
Call Dancer and Prancer, to answer: “Where’s the mistletoe?”
 
[Fantastic Four cartoon sample]
"DOOM is back? But that can't be!"
"I'm afraid it's true."
"But DOOM is dead! I saw it with my own eyes!"

And if he pass, bury him in his mask
All burned, like in the jar that Aaron earned
Skip the flask, pour the whole cask on the curb
Don't waste his gold on the ferry, he gets hairy
Throw his soul overboard, Charon won't return
Time living in the sticks bred transferable skills
Swimming in the Styx, dead but eternally chill
Infernally ill
With the chrome plated steel
He's robbin em still, stuck up in the nine circles
Mob a demon, schemin' to lift her tote and quote Urkel [sample: "Did I do--"]
Wrote to Satan, he's hatin but gotta respect the muscle
Now he's got a side hustle:
He's a ghost, giving grief to do-gooders
Hoods knew he was toast, at most roast like beef well
A brief spell in Hell, it might be controversial
DOOM'll be right back right after these commercials

[George Foreman grill commercial sample]
"It's a KNOCKOUT!"
 
I was going to post this in the knife fight thread after olivia said the thing about dwarf digging holes and before Mechalico conceded defeat since people were questioning MF PHOOPES lol

(no disrespect to anyone this is all in good fun of the knife fight)

---

Digging a hole? Nah I’m digging graves
Play with phoopes? You can’t be saved
I know that it’s quite right, that I’ll win the knife fight
Gonna need a night light, cuz I’m not a white knight
I’m your biggest fright, aight? Your deepest fear
Here I go, people know me far and near
I’m stacking up bodies in this competition
Even more vicious in the second edition

NDK signed an NDA
Cuz I beat him in a way that we can’t say
olivia lost in a game of slander
And her banter wasn’t worth a gander
Hi sir, did you hear about Geysers ?
Got got by a couple HP Fires
Clem might’ve been the worst among them
Send thoughts and prayers, you’ll never see him again

Now Mechalico can’t take a loss
That’s not a valid show of being a boss
You wanna cross phoopes? Bitch I wonder
You’re gonna stop shootin when you’re six feet under
Your biggest blunder was trying to beat me
So this is a warning to Blizihguh and BP
Meet me in the finals, you'll see I'm a tyrant
I ain't a dwarf: I'm Smogoff's giant
 
Disrespect to everyone this is all in malicious fun

Disrespect to everyone, this is all malicious fun
Take it from the MC that's chewing on delicious gum
Got a vicious gun and he ain't afraid to use it
This town ain't big enough for DOOM and a two-bit
Yapper, posing as a wanna be rapper
To cap it all off, he ain't even a trapper
DOOM is a mapper of uncharted territory
Telling all the native people "Bow before me"
 
look out, Its BP on the mic
dont pout when I put you on the pike.
You gum-flap chatter, sweet talk wrapper,
I peel back layers — expose the actor
“Vicious gun”? That’s fictional flex,
You think thats tough pumping your pecs.
And what's this about being a colonizer?
With bars like those I ought a pulverize ya.
 
I was going to post this in the knife fight thread after olivia said the thing about dwarf digging holes and before Mechalico conceded defeat since people were questioning MF PHOOPES lol

(no disrespect to anyone this is all in good fun of the knife fight)

---

Digging a hole? Nah I’m digging graves
Play with phoopes? You can’t be saved
I know that it’s quite right, that I’ll win the knife fight
Gonna need a night light, cuz I’m not a white knight
I’m your biggest fright, aight? Your deepest fear
Here I go, people know me far and near
I’m stacking up bodies in this competition
Even more vicious in the second edition

NDK signed an NDA
Cuz I beat him in a way that we can’t say
olivia lost in a game of slander
And her banter wasn’t worth a gander
Hi sir, did you hear about Geysers ?
Got got by a couple HP Fires
Clem might’ve been the worst among them
Send thoughts and prayers, you’ll never see him again

Now Mechalico can’t take a loss
That’s not a valid show of being a boss
You wanna cross phoopes? Bitch I wonder
You’re gonna stop shootin when you’re six feet under
Your biggest blunder was trying to beat me
So this is a warning to Blizihguh and BP
Meet me in the finals, you'll see I'm a tyrant
I ain't a dwarf: I'm Smogoff's giant

Dwarf star no-bars showing his age
New rims old car taking up space
Light on the mic and a drop of Chianti
I beat him and eat him, he's going down softly
Smogoff Knife Fight making it easy
Your dissing ain't wrong but you're playing in JV
When you win gold, you just remember
That your guest list lacked a pivotal member
When MC Adeleine ain't on the disc
You're frisking the risk of an asterisk

So signup sheet for Knife Fight 2
Revising my lines till I suddenly knew
I'd sign my time away without a challenge
Sinking their ships on the rock of my talents
Till lightweight phoopes can't tip the balance
Win Just in! side the grip of my talons
I call him upstage, he swallows the bait
Mastered his craft, penciled the date
Grinding this thread for three years straight
He's worth the wait, there's no debate
Till I beat him black and blue
Cause I just got started and I'm better than you

Looking forward to your retort
I'm killing for sport and you're already mort
Petite on the seat, you're stale fresh meat
While I'm running a track meet up a heat
But if you wanna compete, I'd love a Player 2
Here's a tutorial that even you can do
Don't retreat from this token defeat
It's a tough enough jump that I'll let you cheat

(likewise all in good fun :) )
 
I was going to post this in the knife fight thread after olivia said the thing about dwarf digging holes and before Mechalico conceded defeat since people were questioning MF PHOOPES lol

(no disrespect to anyone this is all in good fun of the knife fight)

---

Digging a hole? Nah I’m digging graves
Play with phoopes? You can’t be saved
I know that it’s quite right, that I’ll win the knife fight
Gonna need a night light, cuz I’m not a white knight
I’m your biggest fright, aight? Your deepest fear
Here I go, people know me far and near
I’m stacking up bodies in this competition
Even more vicious in the second edition

NDK signed an NDA
Cuz I beat him in a way that we can’t say
olivia lost in a game of slander
And her banter wasn’t worth a gander
Hi sir, did you hear about Geysers ?
Got got by a couple HP Fires
Clem might’ve been the worst among them
Send thoughts and prayers, you’ll never see him again

Now Mechalico can’t take a loss
That’s not a valid show of being a boss
You wanna cross phoopes? Bitch I wonder
You’re gonna stop shootin when you’re six feet under
Your biggest blunder was trying to beat me
So this is a warning to Blizihguh and BP
Meet me in the finals, you'll see I'm a tyrant
I ain't a dwarf: I'm Smogoff's giant

Check it, MC Blizihguh, drop bars like a gold digger
I came to maim the lamest rapper ever heard
But first verse I gotta flame another curd eating nerd,
It's a shame to take aim at a fellow Wisconsin user
Tell him, "mellow, fratello, or eat a johnson, loser"
Leave BP on his knees, suck curds like he sucks deez
JK. No way I disrespect an elite cheesehead
Architect your defeat but we still break bread

Deadass, a man gassed to whoop Phoopes in the finals,
Dressed to impress like I press fire vinyls
Catch winks from Jynx but your rhymes stink like PU
On the VR, he's in the ER: not too sure what you do
Your niche died in a ditch, a kitsch rapper left out since RBY
No snapper, but cheap steak, leave em charred or freeze fried
I'll still eat that garbage, though, dip some chips and skip the night life,
Bring carnage, skip the clips, cuz it's time for a knife fight
 
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