its late, but here are the official n10sit power rankings tm. these rankings will be unique and formed using a multitude of extremely complex mathematical equations and the newest technology and research available to me as a pokemon psychologist. i will not explain the details here, as it would be lost on those of you without :cosmic: brains, but trust that me and my team of scientists, professors and experts in the psychology field have formed the most comprehensive list of the best dou players in this spl.
1. SMB - he·ro /ˈhirō/
noun
- 1.
a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.
2. miltankmilk - supported by a mastermind in talkingtree, the only thing in the way of these two having a dominant season is milk having a bad start and pushing talkingtree into the starting slot, where he would actually have to use the teams he built himself - a concept i think so unapproachable for tree that he loses his sentience and lives out the rest of his days as a normal non-speaking birch tree planted in a church parking lot that 13 year olds have their first cigarette under
3. Biosci - ive recently learned the cryosleep firm that biosci used to rest between SPLs has gone out of business, forcing biosci to be conscious for more than 3 months out of the year. an absolute nightmare for some, im sure biosci will enjoy the extra time and spend it, i dont know, trying to talk to girls for the first time in years with a still partially frozen tongue, causing them to scream and run away in fear. fueled by this rejection, biosci will be forced to spend hours perfecting teams and practicing pokemon. never underestimate the power of an angry and horny man
4. EmbCPT - i had originally planned to rank edu lower, but then i saw it... a glimmering light on a team roster surrounded by lesser beings... a HERO!!!!!!! goat16 indirectly wills edu to a 9-0 record bc mint doesnt lose in team tours
5. emforbes - will kick all his opponents in the nuts, forcing them into this position:
6. fespy - fespy is like the mom you see in those action or crime movies who presents as harmless but is then put in a dangerous stressful situation and like roundhouse kicks the head off of a ninja or something. in front of her kids. who don't understand why mommy killed someone but they know killing is bad, yet how can they not continue to love and rely on their mother? forever, they will be forced to deal with the horrors their own mother committed in front of their very eyes. these poor children.
7. Croven - has qsns, doesnt let mom dress him anymore, hasnt figured out that dabbing hasnt been cool in like two years. 4-5 record
8. Ezrael - committed the atrocity of flipping off a bunch of first graders at a pokemon tournament, has since evolved into the kind of person who *checks notes* isnt friends with blarajan anymore
9. Human - u gotta be more than human to succeed at pokemon. everyone knows u need to have jimmy neutron brain blast level intelligence to succeed at this game where u click buttons hoping u predicted what the other person clicking buttons does. whats this guy even do, walk/talk/be the most intelligent species on his planet? BORING!
10. MajorBowman - never in my years have i seen someone so undeserving, "i mean i know jakes good but come on", this is ridiculous. (i love u bowman heheheh i will forever be sorry for bein mean to u)
