Struggling to The Very End [OU Warstory]

[Struggling to The Very End]
Jaysel vs. acid_paradox
(or)
jaysel24 vs. haunt

Hello everybody, and welcome to mine (acid_paradox) and Jaysel's very first warstory. Whilst lurking around the forums, I've seen several Warstories hither and thither and always wanted to write one. I was laddering with a random team for shits, when I battled Jaysel. The match finished very closely in the end. I asked Jaysel if he wanted to write one with me and he politely agreed. This is a first time experience writing a warstory for both of us so please don't be too harsh ;)

Rules:
  • Ladder Match
  • Sleep Clause
  • Freeze Clause
  • OHKO Clause
  • Evasion Clause
  • Species Clause
  • Strict Damage Clause

Notes:
  • acid_paradox's moves, commentary and pokemon will be in blue.
  • Jaysel's moves, commentary and pokemon will be in green.
  • All commentary will be italicized.

[Jeysel's Team]



[acid_paradox's Team]


haunt sent out Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
jaysel24 sent out Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).


vs

100% 100%

Being an avid user of Heatran, and having been matched up with a plethora of Azelf in the past, I can be sure that Azelf will either Taunt or use Rocks. I decide to go for the Fire Blast to break the Sash and proceed from there.

I dont usually see Heatran leads, and this Azelf was a Colbur berry lead with 252 HP Ev's. This in mind, i wanted to get my rocks out, since my team loves em'.

-------------------

Azelf used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around the foe's team!
Heatran used Fire Blast.
Azelf lost 75% of its health.

vs

100% 25%


As I suspected, Azelf went for Stealth Rock, which doesn't bother me because usually Forretress can come in and spin them away later on in the match. I've also broken Azelf's Sash and put it at 25%. I'm fairly sure they're going to switch out, so I use Stealth Rocks.

Here i was balancing between Taunt or switching out to my Heatran. Im sure he will go for the kill, so i send out my Heatran for the awesome Flash Fire Boost.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).

Heatran used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around the foe's team!

vs

100% 100%

Another correct prediction on my part. I think Jeysel's Heatran is Scarfed and coming in to take mine out early on for whatever reason. I'm not particularly worried, though, as my Shuca Berry is still intact, and I can survive an Earth Power from Heatran and OHKO back with an EP of my own. So I go for the Earth Power.

Thanks to the legion of ScarfTrans out there, my Subtran catches people by surprise. i was hoping for the absence of a Shuca Berry and also his switch, so i could sub-up and do some damage.

-------------------

Heatran used Substitute.
Heatran lost 25% of its health.
Heatran made a substitute!
Heatran used Earth Power.
It's super effective!
The substitute took damage for Heatran!
Heatran's substitute faded!
Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.


vs

100% 81%

Fortunately I stayed in and went for the Earth Power, because SubTran is one of my team's worst nightmares. I decide to keep firing off the Earth Powers, as I am still safe from his Tran with Shuca Berry.

Damn, he stayed in. Ok maybe he's bluffing the Shucca Berry, lets try and Sub-Up again, hoping for the switch.


-------------------

Heatran used Substitute.
Heatran lost 25% of its health.
Heatran made a substitute!

Heatran used Earth Power.
It's super effective!
The substitute took damage for Heatran!
Heatran's substitute faded!
Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.


vs

100% 62%

Another sub, eh? That's fine I'll keep using Earth Power.

Damn this is a losing battle. He Must have Shucca Berry, which will pose a problem. Im sure he will EP again, nows a good time to switch in my Best friend.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Gyarados (lvl 100 Gyarados ?).
Gyarados's Intimidate cut Heatran's attack!
Pointed stones dug into Gyarados.
Gyarados lost 25% of its health.

Heatran used Earth Power.
It doesn't affect Gyarados...

vs

100% 75%

Damn. Gyarados can easily beat out and set up on my Heatran, so I'm in a tough position here. I decide to switch out to Snorlax for whatever reason I know that because his Gyarados never got Leftovers recovery it is most likely using Life Orb
.

This is where my hesitation to taunt at the Beggining of the game hurts me. Gyarados hates Stealth Rock, so im going to need to Dent something now.

-------------------

haunt switched in Snorlax (lvl 100 Snorlax ?).
Pointed stones dug into Snorlax.
Snorlax lost 12% of its health.

Gyarados used Waterfall.
Snorlax lost 44% of its health.
Gyarados lost 10% of its health.
Snorlax's leftovers restored its health a little!
Snorlax restored 6% of its health.


vs

62% 65%

Why did I send in Snorlax? That was really a dumb move on my part and is probably going to cost me quite a bit in the long run >__> Time to Rest up to scout the next move.

Ok Snorlax. No point in more Waterfall, im sure he will rest, lets get my dance on.

-------------------

Gyarados used Dragon Dance.
Gyarados's attack was raised.
Gyarados's speed was raised.

Snorlax used Rest.
Snorlax fell asleep!
Snorlax restored 50% of its health.


vs

100% 65%

Wow. Just wow. I made the dumbest move I could when faced with a Gyarados; let it set up. I know I'm going to pay for this unless I take it out quickly. So I switch to Tentacruel and pray to god it doesn't have EQ.

Sweet. One more Dragon Dance and i get to go home early.

-------------------

haunt switched in Tentacruel (lvl 100 Tentacruel ?).
Pointed stones dug into Tentacruel.
Tentacruel lost 12% of its health.

Gyarados used Dragon Dance.
Gyarados's attack was raised.
Gyarados's speed was raised.

Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.


vs

94% 65%

FML. More Dragon Dances. I go for HP Electric praying that he doesn't EQ my ass to oblivion and sweep the rest of my team.

This cost me the game. Seriously, Taunt? NONE OF MY POKEMON ARE EFFECTED BY TOXIC SPIKES. Lol, Stone edge would have either killed it or hurt it, alot. Damnitt, what a missed opportunity.

-------------------

Gyarados used Taunt.
Tentacruel fell for the taunt!
Tentacruel used Hidden Power.

It's super effective!
Gyarados lost 60% of its health.
Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.


vs

94% 5%

...Exhale. Thankfully he's running Tauntados and assumed I came in to set up Toxic Spikes. HP Electric just saved my ass. Had he been running EQ, he would have run my entire team down right then and there. I don't plan on losing my Tentacruel now and I know he can KO my Tentacruel now with a +2 Stone Edge so I go to Forretress, who will survive unless his Gyarados get's a critical hit. Hopefully I will have a chance to set up Spikes.

Yea whatever, Stone edge. I just want to Dent whatever comes in, and i dont want to give a possible Vaporeon Water Absorb.

-------------------

haunt switched in Forretress (lvl 100 Forretress ?).
Pointed stones dug into Forretress.
Forretress lost 12% of its health.

Gyarados used Stone Edge.
Forretress lost 60% of its health.
Gyarados lost 5% of its health.
jaysel24's Gyarados fainted.


vs

28% DEAD

His Gyarados uses Stone Edge as expected, leaving my Forretress at 28%. He sends in his next poké...

Ok, i need to recover after that missed opportunity. I want to set up with Breloom, and the slow Forretress will be the perfect fodder.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Pointed stones dug into Breloom.
Breloom lost 6% of its health.
Breloom used Spore.

Forretress fell asleep!
Forretress is fast asleep!

Breloom was badly poisoned!

vs

40%-Slp 94%

... which ends up being a Breloom. Super. I decide to let Forretress die because he's at low enough health anyways that he won't survive for long. In the meantime while he's sleeping I keep using Spikes in case he wakes up.

I figure forretress is death fodder now, but i want to Sub-Up, theres no way he will wake up in one turn...... Right?

-------------------

Breloom used Substitute.
Breloom lost 25% of its health.
Breloom made a substitute!

Forretress woke up!
Forretress used Spikes.

Spikes were scattered around the foe's team!
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 13% of its health.


vs

40% 82%

Luckily I wake up and am able to get another layer of Spikes up. Keep Spiking Forretress, you're gonna die anyways.

Damn. Ok keep my head up, that 12% on the switch will hurt sure, but the 25% will be crippling. Gotta Spore up, since Seed Bomb wont kill.

-------------------

Breloom used Spore.
Forretress fell asleep!
Forretress is fast asleep!

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 13% of its health.


vs

28% 95%

Zzzzzz...

Yea imma whore and abuse Spore, so? (Lol Spore Whore)

-------------------

Breloom is tightening its focus!
Forretress is fast asleep!
Breloom used Focus Punch.
Forretress lost 27% of its health.
haunt's Forretress fainted.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 6% of its health.


vs

DEAD 100%

Now that Forretress is dead, I look at my options. I decide that I can sacrifice Heatran, who has fulfilled his duties, to break Breloom's substitute.

Waiting for the next Poke, Blank mind.......

-------------------

haunt switched in Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
Pointed stones dug into Heatran.
Heatran lost 12% of its health.
Heatran used Fire Blast.

It's super effective!
A critical hit!
The substitute took damage for Breloom!
Breloom's substitute faded!
Breloom used Spore.

Heatran fell asleep!
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!

vs

88%-Slp 100%

I switch in my Heatran and use Fire Blast, which breaks his sub. Surprisingly he went for the Spore again. I was expecting a Focus Punch to take out my Heatran. Oh well. Heatran is now asleep and out of commission. I decide to switch into Gengar, who can break Breloom's sub and KO it with HP Fire.

I probably should have just killed the damn thing, but of course i make another mistake. I was thinking he wouldnt use Heatran as sleep fodder and switch out, and once again being a Spore whore has cost me.

-------------------

haunt switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Gengar.
Gengar lost 12% of its health.

Breloom used Substitute.
Breloom lost 25% of its health.
Breloom made a substitute!
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 13% of its health.


vs

88% 88%

I safely switch in my Gengar as his Breloom subs up. Gengar takes a maximum of 48.7% from Seed Bomb and is immune to Focus Punch. Sleep clause is also in effect so I have nothing to worry about. I go for the HP Fire.

Damn, lets just Seed Bomb, get some damage on Gengar.

-------------------

Gengar used Hidden Power.
It's super effective!
The substitute took damage for Breloom!
Breloom's substitute faded!
Breloom used Seed Bomb.

It's not very effective...
Gengar lost 46% of its health.
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 13% of its health.


vs

41% 100%

Breloom's Seed Bomb fails to KO, and I break his sub with HP Fire. I'm faster and can take it out next turn. I'm fairly sure he's going to switch out, but I used HP Fire anyways.

Fygon can eat a HP Fire easily, and Breloom may come in handy later.


-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.

Gengar used Hidden Power.
It's not very effective...
Flygon lost 23% of its health.
Gengar lost 10% of its health.

vs

31% 71%

As I guessed, he switched out. Turns out I should have used Shadow Ball anyways. Oh well. I use Protect to see what he plans to do with his Flygon. If he Stone Edge's I'll switch, if he U-Turns I'll stay in and use Shadow Ball.

I wanted to Stone edge, but U-Turn is just so sexy. Plus, i dont want Flygon eating shadow balls, and knowing my luck Stone edge ill miss while Outrage may get Flygon killed. Idk, lets just U-Turn out.


-------------------

Gengar used Protect.
Gengar protected itself!

Flygon used U-turn.
Gengar protected itself!

vs

31% 71%

U-Turn does about 10% to Gengar, so I'm not worried about that. I go for the Shadow Ball and see what he U-Turns in to.

Well....... Maybe Stone Edge would have sufficed.

-------------------

Flygon used U-turn.
It's not very effective...
Gengar lost 10% of its health.
jaysel24 switched in Lucario (lvl 100 Lucario ?).
Pointed stones dug into Lucario.
Lucario lost 3% of its health.
Lucario was hurt by Spikes!
Lucario lost 12% of its health.

Gengar used Shadow Ball.
It's not very effective...
Lucario lost 41% of its health.
Gengar lost 10% of its health.

vs

11% 44%

He switches into Lucario, whom immediately loses over 50% of its health from entry hazards and from Gengar's Shadow Ball. I know his Extremespeed can't touch me, so I go for the Hidden Power to secure a KO.

Ahh whatever, this was just a random switch, hopefully getting that Gengar down from Life Orb recoil. No one else can eat a Shadow Ball, sweet dreams Luke.

-------------------

Gengar used Hidden Power.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Lucario lost 43% of its health.
jaysel24's Lucario fainted.

Gengar lost 10% of its health.

vs

1% 44%

Yay. Now I'm hoping he sends out something slower without priority I don't resist so I can take some damage when I go out...

Mehh, not surprising. Useless crit to rub salt in my wounds.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.

Gengar used Protect.
Gengar protected itself!

Flygon used U-turn.
Gengar protected itself!

vs

1% 65%

... But unfortunately Jaysel isn't an idiot. He switches to his Flygon which is Scarfed and can outspeed my Gengar. I Protect for shits and see that he's using U-Turn. I just let Gengar die by going for the HP Fire.

I go for the Safe U-Turn, nothing to see here.

-------------------

Flygon used U-turn.
It's not very effective...
Gengar lost 2% of its health.
haunt's Gengar fainted.

jaysel24 switched in Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
Pointed stones dug into Heatran.
Heatran lost 12% of its health.
Heatran was hurt by Spikes!
Heatran lost 12% of its health.
Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.


vs

DEAD 44%

A Smart move on Jeysel's part. He knows that my Heatran is asleep and can't do jackshit, and my Gengar - who had Focus Blast - is now dead, so he sends in his Heatran. But he forgot about a certain member of my team...

Ok sleepy Heatran in, my Heatran follows. This is why i U-Turned, so i could kill Gengar and safely switch out. My awake Heatran vs Sleeping Heatran, Earth Power all day.


-------------------

haunt switched in Tentacruel (lvl 100 Tentacruel ?).
Pointed stones dug into Tentacruel.
Tentacruel lost 12% of its health.

Heatran used Earth Power.
It's super effective!
Tentacruel lost 42% of its health.
Tentacruel used Surf.

It's super effective!
A critical hit!
Heatran lost 44% of its health.
jaysel24's Heatran fainted.

Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.


vs

46% DEAD

Eat Tentacruel's gelatinous anus, Heatran! I use Surf, knowing that his Earth Power can't OHKO unless he gets a crit. Now his Heatran is dead.

FML. I was so focused on killing Heatran, i forgot about Tentacruel. No point in switching out this late, since eating a Surf would cripple my chances of winning.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.

haunt switched in Snorlax (lvl 100 Snorlax ?).
Pointed stones dug into Snorlax.
Snorlax lost 12% of its health.

Flygon used Earthquake.
Snorlax lost 36% of its health.
Snorlax's leftovers restored its health a little!
Snorlax restored 6% of its health.


vs

58% 59%

He switches into his Flygon. I don't want to lose Tentacruel just yet so I switch to Snorlax to scout his Flygon's move. He uses EQ which takes out a fairly large chunk of my health. I decide to switch to Azelf and deal some damage with a STAB Life Orb Psychic.

Stab EQ to hurt Snorlax. Does a nice chunk, i hope he stays in!


-------------------

haunt switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Pointed stones dug into Azelf.
Azelf lost 12% of its health.
Azelf makes ground moves miss with Levitate!

Flygon used Earthquake.
Flygon's attack missed!


vs

88% 59%

EQ doesn't affect Azelf, obviously. I fire off a Psychic and see what I can do.

Oh of course he switches. Hoping in a game like this doesn't wont take you very long, and will lose matches.


-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Pointed stones dug into Azelf.
Azelf lost 12% of its health.
Azelf used Psychic.

It's not very effective...
A critical hit!
Azelf lost 12% of its health.
jaysel24's Azelf fainted.
Azelf lost 10% of its health.

vs

78% DEAD

He switches in his Azelf, who dies from Psychic, despite it being not very effective. I'm guessing he's going to switch in his Flygon to use a super-effective U-Turn on me.

My Azelf as death fodder, go Flygon!


-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Flygon used U-turn.

It's super effective!
Azelf lost 62% of its health.
jaysel24 switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Pointed stones dug into Breloom.
Breloom lost 6% of its health.
Breloom was hurt by Spikes!
Breloom lost 12% of its health.

Azelf used Psychic.
It's super effective!
Breloom lost 81% of its health.
jaysel24's Breloom fainted.
Azelf lost 10% of its health.

vs

6% DEAD

As expected he U-Turns. I decided to stay and and Psychic anyways because I'm pretty sure I can KO whatever he sends in with Psychic. He sends in his Breloom which Dies from STAB Psychic.

Oh well, Breloom death fodder. Damn, this is close.

-------------------

jaysel24 switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Flygon used Stone Edge.

Azelf lost 6% of its health.
haunt's Azelf fainted.


vs

DEAD 53%

He sends out Flygon again and KO's me with Stone Edge. I'm in a tough situation here. I only have Tentacruel, Heatran, and Snorlax left. Tentacruel can't KO Flygon and Heatran and Snorlax are both asleep. I send in Tentacruel to see what I can do.

Ok. I may be good here. Stone edge to KO the rest of his Pokes, Teantacruel will die.

-------------------

haunt switched in Tentacruel (lvl 100 Tentacruel ?).
Pointed stones dug into Tentacruel.
Tentacruel lost 12% of its health.

Flygon used Stone Edge.
Tentacruel lost 32% of its health.
Tentacruel used Surf.

Flygon lost 43% of its health.
Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.

---
Flygon used Stone Edge.
Tentacruel lost 13% of its health.
haunt's Tentacruel fainted.


vs

DEAD 4%

I surf, and it takes out a large chunk of his Flygon's health, but not large enough. His Flygon KO's Tentacruel back with Stone Edge. I'm hoping either Heatran or Snorlax wakes up and kills it >___>

Finally the Poke-Gods show me some mercy, lets go flygon!!!!

-------------------

haunt switched in Snorlax (lvl 100 Snorlax ?).
Pointed stones dug into Snorlax.
Snorlax lost 12% of its health.

Flygon used Stone Edge.
Snorlax lost 24% of its health.
Snorlax is fast asleep!
Snorlax's leftovers restored its health a little!
Snorlax restored 6% of its health.


vs

DEAD 4%
---
Flygon used Stone Edge.
Snorlax lost 26% of its health.
Snorlax is fast asleep!
Snorlax's leftovers restored its health a little!
Snorlax restored 6% of its health.

---
Flygon used Stone Edge.
Snorlax lost 7% of its health.
haunt's Snorlax fainted.


Snorlax stays asleep because of Rest and he 3HKO's with Stone Edge. It's your turn, Heatran. Make me proud.

Yes Flygon, make me proud!

-------------------

haunt switched in Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
Pointed stones dug into Heatran.
Heatran lost 12% of its health.

Flygon used Stone Edge.
Flygon's attack missed!

Heatran is fast asleep!

vs

66%-Slp 4%

Stone Edge misses and I get a lucky break. I'm just hoping Heatran will wake up eventually.

Ok, stay optimistic, Crit here I come!

-------------------

Flygon used Stone Edge.
Heatran lost 30% of its health.
Heatran is fast asleep!


vs

36%-Slp 4%

Q.Q

Or not, Fuck me, Hax ftl. Ahh whatever, 85% hit rate.

-------------------

Flygon used Struggle.
Heatran lost 15% of its health.
Flygon was hit by recoil!
Flygon lost 4% of its health.
jaysel24's Flygon fainted.

haunt wins!

vs

21%-Slp DEAD


0_____o

Lulz, Choice Scarf for the loss. Quick question though. If i had hit the first stone edge, then the second, then struggled for the win, would there be a draw, or would i win, or him? Either good game, and a fun First time War Story, which i always thought were kinda stupid. Nahh they are pretty fun, and the battles are great. Good Game Acid_Paradox, i want a rematch! Everyone else let me know if im doing this wrong, i have never even looked at a war story before this, so if my thought are kinda bare, let me know.

Overall a very close match. Had Stone Edge had more PP, then Jaysel probably would have beaten acid_paradox, Heatran's strongest attacking option being Fire Blast.
 

San_Pellegrino

the eternal dreamer
is a Team Rater Alumnus
I suppose it was average. A few good plays here and there, but it was mainly hit and wait to get KO'ed. Although I must say it was a good first attempt.
 

Texas Cloverleaf

This user has a custom title
is a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Farily entertaining. It will be interesting to see jaysel's thought process.

Two things: haunt switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Gengar.
Gengar lost 12% of its health.
Breloom used Substitute.
Breloom lost 25% of its health.
Breloom made a substitute!
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 13% of its health.


vs

88% 88%

I safely switch in my Gengar as his Breloom subs up. Gengar takes a maximum of 48.7% from Seed Bomb and is immune to Stone Edge. Sleep clause is also in effect so I have nothing to worry about. I go for the HP Fire.

Since when is Gengar immune to Stone Edge?


Flygon used Stone Edge.
Heatran lost 30% of its health.
Heatran is fast asleep!


vs

36%-Slp 4%

Stone Edge misses and I get a lucky break. I'm just hoping Heatran will wake up next turn or I'm screwed.

Stone Edge didn't miss. Probably want to edit the entire comment.
 
@ Texas Cloverleaf: He obviously meant Focus Punch.

The lay-out was excellent but as other has stated already, the battle itself was pretty average.

Oh and :

Flygon used Stone Edge.
Heatran lost 30% of its health.
Heatran is fast asleep!


vs

36%-Slp 4%

Stone Edge misses and I get a lucky break. I'm just hoping Heatran will wake up next turn or I'm screwed.
Stone Edge didn't miss ^^
 
Eat Tentacruel's gelatinous anus, Heatran!

haha. that was my favorite comment so far. entertaining battle for this much of it, good comments, nice layout, awaiting the edit. ^__^;

edit: loven is fat and ARandomDude, if it has 80% accuracy, it would be considered "hax" if it had hit everytime a__a.
 

BIG loven

Not so little anymore
Nothing special, a lot of dumb moves tbh. Ok warstory I guess

EDIT: Alan is a lonely (BAN ME PLEASE)
 
Pretty meh battle, you seem to not have experience playing Breloom (your are supposed to let a useless member take the sleep then switch in something (aka Gengar) to deal with it.

Also, hax bailed you out there (although with an 80% hit rate its to be expected.
 
As others have said the battle was good, but not great. As for the overall quality, i thought that the formatting was great and made it easy to follow and read. A solid first attempt and i hope to see more warstories in the future!
 
Thanks for the comments and criticism, everybody, and sorry for the late editing-in of Jaysel's comments! Writing this warstory and reading over the battle logs have given both myself and Jaysel some perspective on how to deal with threats in the future.
 
I must admit that I found the battle to be relatively poor, but your presentation was quite good. There were just several questionable plays that turned me off.
 
The way Gyarados was fought against made me cringe a bit (but you already know that), but the battle wasn't bad. I'd say it was a fairly solid story.
 

kokoloko

what matters is our plan!
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Two-Time Past SPL Champion
The formatting is awesome, you have that down. Unfortunately, it's obvious that both of you lack experience which really hurts the quality of the battle. Keep practicing and getting better though, and soon you'll find yourself with a better battle that you can do a warstory about. Good Luck.
 
lol title puns

Nice format, really easy to follow. Pretty average battle though, but I'm sure your next warstory, if you decide to write another, will be great (:
 
as others have said the battle was good, but not great. The ending caught me quite off guard, as i wasnt counting the PP of Stone Edge, and i didnt get the hint from the title -.- This is a good start for warstories however
 
Pretty entertaining, definitely easy to read, thank goodness. XD Me and my locked-to-a-computer-screen eyes thank you for it. Also, I very much dislike Brelooms and Spore Whores, they knock my team around cuz I rarely have any useless Pokemon. o.o Maybe I'm too conservative...
 

Chou Toshio

Over9000
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Sorry, stopped reading when Gyarados taunted Tentacruel. I can tell you guys did a great job and put in a lot of effort, but I was just too depresed to read on. That really was an incredible blunder with no real reason. :S
 
It was alright. I got kind of ''iffy'' with the brain farts throughout the game on both of you.. but thankfully it made it a little more entertaining.
 

Ice-eyes

Simper Fi
Formatting was good, battle was close, comments were very good when considering that the standard of play was not that high... Obvious mistakes and stuff were made by both players. Repeatedly.
 
Thanks everybody for the feedback. Any tips here, any mistakes that should not have been made(Except for taunting Tentacreul FML). Im back after a long break, so any help getting back to form will be great!
 
I wonder why would you sack Breloom if you could just had run the calcs on flygon and realized that Outrage would probably have k.o.ed Azelf and then you could lock yourself in Earthquake ftw...Good game, but not great.

6/10
 

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