Every single series will be decided by one factor, the french factor.
Western Conference
#1 Canucks vs. #8 Hawks
With Luongo walling the net, Burrows shaping the Sedins into passable players, Lapierre getting under every Hawks' skin and with Jack Adams probable winner Alain Vigneault running things, this team is just too french for the Faucons Noirs de Chicago and half french player Jonathan Toews.
Canucks in 4 and a half (giving full credit to Toews, who prefers Jonathan to be pronounced in french)
#2 Sharks vs. #7 Kings
Bernier in goal would make it a tight series but he isn't playing and the Kings are left frenchless to defend against Vlasic, worth twice his not-bloated-at-all 3.5 millions salary and Demers, a Raymond Bourque in the makings.
Sharks in 5, Bernier playing the Kings' only win.
#3 Red Wings vs. #6 Coyotes
The Red Wings have been frenchless for years now and yet they win. It’s got to be luck, but the Coyotes have Bélanger, a toothless 2-way player that is known for never losing a face-off. Because of that, Coyotes keep puck control and end up beating the Wings running out of luck.
Coyotes in 6
#4 Ducks vs. #5 Predators
The Ducks saw the play-offs coming and rehired François Beauchemin in the hope of saving their season ; it has worked so far. Unfortunately for the very french Predators, their best players, the french ones, play-maker speedster extraordinaire Lombardi and rocky Bouillon, who led league Ds in hits before his injury, are out of the equation leaving aging but still potent Jean-Pierre Dumont to carry the team. He'll fight on like a true soldier but les Puissants Canards powered up by one of the league's most complete defenseman, will end up the victors.
Ducks in 7
Eastern Conference
#1 Capitals vs. #8 Rangers
With no french between the two, this is pretty much a toss-up.
Caps in 7 because the coach's name sounds french.
#1 Flyers vs. #7 Sabres
Jason is likely to make Pominville's population grow a lot in this series in an attempt to honour the legendary French Connection who lost a member this winter. However, the Flyers with french superstars Brière and Giroux will prove to be too much for even the entire population of Pominville.
Flyers in 6
#3 Bruins vs. #6 Habs
Bruins owning the league's best 2-way forward and definite Selke contender Patrice Bergeron will under french coach wonder Claude Julien narrowly defeat the Montreal CanadiAns, being less french than they've ever been in their 100 years history. I like Desharnais a lot though.
Bruins in 7
#4 Penguins vs. #5 Lightning
As this series puts the 2 frenchest teams against each other from the start, this will be a war, likely one that will seal it for the Stanley Cup. This is so close, 7 games might not be enough.
Lightning in 8
Leading to :