The love of your life cheats on you.....

User 40136

Banned deucer.
But when you find out, their affair has been over for a long long time. Do you still want "out"?.

Clearly the 99 year old man in the story above feels betrayed. Despite 77 years of marriage, 5 children, a dozen grandchildren and the great-grandkids are starting to roll in, he is not able to forgive her for an affair that occurred in the 1940's.

So, my question for you is this. Is there (for you) a "statute of limitations" for someone cheating on you? Are there time limits or other conditions under which you could consider forgiving them? Or are there conditions and reasons that would make it impossible for you to ever forgive such a betrayal?
 
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I think the real answer to this question lies in the definition of "love of your life". I think if it was absolute true love then I would forgive all the time.
 
It isn't usually the girl who cheats on me, it's me who cheats on the girl.

Maaaaaan, 7th grade was shit for me.
 
Girl cheats, you dump.


TIS WHY I AM A FREE MAN SINCE 3 DAYS AGO. Turns out she was right when she said my chick mates wanted me...


single and ready to mingle mo fuckkk






tl;dr - bury your sadness in some muff
 
Alchemator said:
I think the real answer to this question lies in the definition of "love of your life". I think if it was absolute true love then I would forgive all the time.
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So all I need to do is make you fall in love with me, then I can leech your money and fuck whomever I want and you'll always forgive me? I'll be over with some roses and chardonnay shortly.
 
tennisace said:
So all I need to do is make you fall in love with me, then I can leech your money and fuck whomever I want and you'll always forgive me? I'll be over with some roses and chardonnay shortly.
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Again, we come back to the definition of "love of your life". In my -- admittedly clouded, inexperienced and most importantly teenage -- opinion, that would be a relationship without malice and with utmost devotion. I don't think in a relationship like that you could conceal trying to leech money from the other person.

But yeah the roses sound nice when will you be over?
 
Mistakes are a human thing. To expect to live with someone - intimately - for years and years without them making mistakes is a ridiculous expectation.

If the affair was dead and gone, we were living a happy life together and had been for a long time, and my partner didn't seem to me to be the type of person to make a habit out of it, I'd let it slide. It's damaging, but nothing that a couple shouldn't be able to bounce back from unless it's still a new and fragile relationship.
 
love is pretty complex though so even if you "love" someone completely and unconditionally you could still theoretically have sex with someone else due to random feelings of lust, being totally wasted or other? 'id suspect that in that 77 year relationship the woman's feelings for the man grew over time and combined with her desire to not rock the boat and not wanting to inform the children she just wanted everyone to forget it.

also, "love of ones life" isn't necessarily something that goes both ways -- even if you love someone absolutely and unconditionally the other person might not feel the same way and would eventually topple off your pedestal
 
Alchemator said:
Again, we come back to the definition of "love of your life". In my -- admittedly clouded, inexperienced and most importantly teenage -- opinion, that would be a relationship without malice and with utmost devotion. I don't think in a relationship like that you could conceal trying to leech money from the other person.

But yeah the roses sound nice when will you be over?
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yeah but i don't think in a relationship like that you could conceal cheating either..

and also if she cheated on me then i would fucking leave her; a relationship needs trust and there's no way in hell i would trust her again
 
I would like to say I would get out, but shit, can you imagine being 99 and like, deciding to completely change something you have been doing for 77 years. That's pretty bold imo..

I mean, you know, by that time there isnt exactly the precedent to worry about..
 
eightbitdimwit said:
Mistakes are a human thing. To expect to live with someone - intimately - for years and years without them making mistakes is a ridiculous expectation.

If the affair was dead and gone, we were living a happy life together and had been for a long time, and my partner didn't seem to me to be the type of person to make a habit out of it, I'd let it slide. It's damaging, but nothing that a couple shouldn't be able to bounce back from unless it's still a new and fragile relationship.
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if that's what you're okay with, sure.

saying that mistakes are a 'human thing' is both ignorant and somewhat insulting, in this intimate capacity. humans are animals. we crave certain pleasures, hunger for sustenance, and more socially, long for companionship. thankfully, we have the intellect to determine for ourselves what we deem right and wrong including what we decide is intimately inexcusable.

if I had been married to a husband for x amount of years and learned he had cheated on me, there would be no question about getting a divorce. whether it's about 'physical' cheating and you're purely ending it over sex, or 'emotional' cheating and your partner has fallen in love with someone else, the deceit is what is unforgivable. especially in a marriage, where you have both agreed by word and documentation that you are together, and if you went through all the trouble to seal this bond, you may be 'human' but you're also just an asshole.
 
I'm gonna have to take a less popular stance here in that I wouldn't have broke it off if I was the guy and I don't think cheating is inherently a dealbreaker, anyway. I think the really problematic thing here is the violation of trust in a relationship agreed to be monogamous -- I think people tend to be way too caught up over sex and think it's ridiculous that sex itself is a major factor in anyone's mind -- but honestly, outside of making me re-evaluate the relationship some because we aren't(weren't in these people's case, I guess) satisfying each other's needs, I don't think this sort of thing is the end of the world. Couples have their little deceptions and one-ups all the time, I don't think it's very reasonable that sex is taken as this cataclysmic issue more important than basically all others.

Especially in this particular case, it's obviously not an issue anymore and wasn't for a long time, whether she just made a mistake or just felt she needed to experiment to figure herself out or whatever, it seems like things had actually worked out for the best to this point for their relationship, prior to this coming out.
 
I have no idea why everyone seems so forgiving to the women. She lied and kept the lie going for decades. If she had said upfront, back in the 40s that she cheated, then MAYBE there could be some sort of forgiveness. But seven decades of living a lie later? Yeah, nah.

No excuses.

Edit: I also don't get why someone's saying that "oh, we're just humans and we have needs". Aren't we supposed to be higher than dogs and cats, animals that hump and screw everything they can?

If it was the man that cheated on the woman, people would be shocked and horrified that he lied for all these years. Double standards everywhere.
 
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