Creating this thread was an incredible idea. Depression is so widely spread that it's called a "disease of civilization". And it keeps spreading. You're not alone, and this thread helps bring us together. Talking about depression in real life is difficult, people don't understand it. And as absurd as it may sound, writing about your life and letting people you don't really know read it really helps. Maybe more than talking to a psychologist.
I know depression very well but I don't wanna write about my own life. I want to talk about ways to fight it. Don't get me wrong, writing this also helps me feel better. I'm not here to teach, but to share what I've learned.
FIGHTING DEPRESSION
Some parts of this post won't apply to depression associated with mourning. Parts 2 and 3 are more or less specific for depression "with no apparent cause" that we could call "existential depression".
1) Get out of your head
The main thing to be aware of with depression is that you spend most of your time stuck in dark, never-ending and cyclic thought patterns. And everytime you complete a cycle, you reinforce these thoughts. "I'm alone", "I'm not good at anything", "what I'm good at has no value", "this world is about competition", "why would anyone like me or love me", "my life is pointless" and so on.
As simple and ridiculous as it may sound, you need to BREAK these thought cycles. Stop thinking, it doesn't lead you anywhere. For example, if you suffer from depression, I'm pretty sure you really struggle to do simple things like cleaning, cooking or having a walk. Too much energy needed, no motivation, right.
Just DO IT. Don't even start thinking about it. Do it. Depression is a disease of the mind. You gotta get out of your head. Why? Why not. Deep in your heart you want to live. Don't believe in meds, they will help you somewhat, but the real cure is yourself. Move, do things. Sometimes it will be too hard. But the next day it'll be slightly better and you will be able to do it. And as long as you keep doing things, you'll feel better.
Get out of your head. Don't wait for motivation to come. Depression doesn't allow motivation.
Just do things and move, and motivation will end up reappearing in your life.
2) Burn down your beliefs
I believe everything happens for a reason. I didn't before my depression. I've read and watched documentaries. Buddhism, self-development, stuff about the consciousness. Maybe it's all crap. But let me offer you two views of your existence.
-Materialism/Physicalism
By default, you believe in materialism or physicalism, which says that only the physical world exists, that the universe has no meaning. Your life is pointless, and when you die, everything you've known will disappear forever. This is a very occidental view, because it was shaped by scientific development in Europe in the past centuries. Newton's work shows that the universe is deterministic and doesn't need God. Darwin said we are evolved from simple matter and that the strongest survives -and that no God made us or guides us.
Today, physicalism prevails: Science has never been so productive and doesn't require any concept of God, soul or consciousness.
(-Theism (religion)
If you have a god, then physicalism is crap for you, you believe the soul exists. I don't believe in any sort of God and don't want to spark stupid debates. Just skip this part if you are a believer.)
-Alternative for Atheists and Agnostics: Buddhism
Atheists believe there is no god or deity. Agnostics like me, don't know if a god exists. They aren't believers but are open to the possibility that god -or something more than physicalism- can exist. If you are an Agnostic, you most likely believe in physicalism and deep in your heart believe there must be something else. Buddhism is a very popular alternative for Agnostics. Basically, buddhism has no deity. It's more of a way of life. Buddhism teaches you about your mind, how to master it, how to truly exist. Buddhism offers options, doesn't state truths like religions. Buddhism invites you to believe that the fundamental reality is consciousness, and to experience it. It invites you to believe that everything is connected because everything is consciousness. And that life and death are mere milestones in the infinite flow of your consciousness.
Buddhism is very practical and about experiencing: you can keep the parts of it you like and treat others as exotic.
If you are depressed, it most likely has to do with what you believe, whether you are aware of it or not. Do you unconsciously believe that life must be hard? That you're not good enough? Probably comes from Darwin's work. Your life has no meaning? Newton.
I'm being very simplistic, but you get the idea: what you believe is shaped by your society and its story.
Nobody can prove that physicalism is true. It just works perfectly for science. There is no answer awaiting you. You have to decide how you see your existence. What if nobody is ever alone, that everyone is connected to everything, even the smallest stone or water drop. That nothing is vain, and that you are on Earth to live experiences that will shape your future lives? Or that death is truly the end, but that your life will have sewn something on the ultimate fabric of the universe? I can't give answers, but you gotta seek other options, and choose what is best for you.
Don't let your beliefs shape who you are; shape your beliefs.
You see the world through the prism of your beliefs: if your view is sick, it's because your beliefs are the wrong ones for you.
3) Become who you are
You may not agree with what I'll say. Books and videos and people have offered me options, and I'm offering what helped me to you.
Everything happens for a reason. Some call it karma. It kinda means "causality". What you do affects what happens to you. It sounds horrible, why would you be depressed if you've never been a bad person? Why would your friend or parent die when they were great people? It's a complex topic, but to sum it up: if bad things happen, it doesn't mean there are bad intentions, but intentions that flow against the flow of the universe.
If you're depressed, you may find comfort in the non-attachment of buddhism. It doesn't mean being unaffected by the world around you. But it teaches you to make the difference between your emotions, and yourself. You ARE NOT your emotions. You feel sad, you ARE not sad. You feel like shit, you ARE not shit. The dalai-lama himself (the highest ranked Buddhist monk in the Tibetan tradition) cries when war is brought up for example. And then he becomes joyful again, because he accepts it and he doesn't let it stain his mind. The mind, according to buddhism, is like the sky where clouds pass by but don't leave a trace (clouds are the metaphor of emotions).
Depression is, according to holistic physicians , the way your inner self tells you you are not being who you are. It's the last option at its disposal: disease to warn you. It can be depression, it can be cancer. And it can kill you. But it can also cure you if you listen to it, and make you happier than ever before.
Depression tells you: "you're not doing what you are; you won't find happiness and won't succeed in helping other people down this path". Choose another path.
Depression can be a way for your unconscious to make you quit unhealthy relationships, unfullfilling jobs, or simply exhausting thought patterns and sick beliefs. It leaves you empty and without enough energy to keep on doing things that aren't good for you. You are left in a dark, but slowly you see that there's a shining door far away and that you got a choice: it's either the darkness or walking towards that door.
Look at me for example: depression hit me 4 years ago and i'm still fighting it. But one thing I'm sure it taught me, is to not bury my creative side. I need to make things, I need to draw, to write, to make music, heck, to build pokémon teams. Depression forced me to quit high-level Maths and Physics studies and my future as a well-paid and socially-happy engineer. I'm not sure where I'm going, but giving that up once for all lifted an immense weight on my mind. If you're interested, I've started learning web design and graphism and I feel much better now.
My father died when I was very young, and as much as I miss him, I know that somewhere, his death means something and will help my brother and me become who we are and do something good in this world.
4) Listen to music (and make music if you can)
Music is magical. In more scientific terms though, it makes your brain synchronize with its rhythm. If you know a bit about the brain, you probably have heard of "alpha waves" etc. Basically, the way signals rush through your brain are described as waves. Joy, sadness, concentration are all words to describe what state your brain is in. Music gets it to synchronize, and can even get you to feel connected to the world, to cry with the feeling that the universe is wonderful.
Music overrides your depressive mental state and heals you.
In my case, part of my healing was due to listening to music. All the time, to get rid of loneliness and sick thoughts. Modern reggae music (Naâman, Jahneration, Dub Inc, Kabaka Pyramid, Alborosie, Protoje, Chronixx, Damian Marley...), relaxing/beautiful music (with Lo-Fi often) (Zelda music, nintendo music, Fakear, Chinese Man...) but also all sorts of classics (Michael Jackson, Eminem, Bruce Springsteen...).
Just listen to all sorts of music if you aren't yet, find what really makes you feel at peace, and never leave it.
Music is life.
5) Find a routine you really love
There must be something you really like doing. Everyone is here for a reason. And even though that reason may be a lifelong quest, there are elements you should be able to collect. DON'T try to find something you are good at. Some people are naturally skilled, but for most of us, becoming good is the second step. First step: find things you enjoy, and one of them may be what you actually were always meant to do. And others will just remain hobbies that will help you feel good.
Even if it's only 20mins per day, do something you like. Drawing, reading, playing the piano, or guitar, or running. Or writing. Whatever it is. You don't have to be good at drawing: you can fill in mandalas to feel at peace. You don't have to be a huge reader: 20mins per day summed up, you will have read a book by the end of the month, 12 books per year. And so on. Most likely you'll end up practicing your activity of choice more than 20mins without realising it.
Me, I try to draw a couple Pokémons every day (did Mewtwo today and its legs are too short and Bulbasaur had a devilish look), to run at least 20mins every morning no matter the weather, and to practice beatboxing even though I sound like pure shit. All of it barely takes an hour, but I feel like I've done something and that over time, the contribution will be significant.
Over time, you'll get good without realising it.
A very healthy routine is
Meditation. It sounds complex and all, but it's very simple. Close your eyes, inhale deeply for 5 seconds until you're full, exhale slowly during 5 seconds until you have no air left. Repeat 3 times. Feel better? Realized you're mind was totally empty and peaceful during these 30 seconds? This is the very basis of meditation. Look up more on the web or in a library if you're interested, it's very healthy and life-changing.
Final words
I could write forever and I tried to keep it as short as possible but obviously I failed. Still I'm happy with what I said. I really hope I helped you in a way or another. And that my summary of stuff like physicalism and buddhism sounded about right. I'm not an expert.
Bonus: 4 YouTube links that really helped me:
: Zelda relaxing music
: Better Than Yesterday (tips to improve your life easily)
: Outta Road - Naâman
: Beatbox: Berywam vs Beatbox House - Fantasy battle
Take care
-ktut
