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Lifestyle The Mental Wellness Thread

Mister Magnus said:
I wish I had a friend. I wish someone cared about me. I wish people didn't use me. Please. Please someone care about my well being. Please someone accept me. I wish to be shown affection. I want someone to be there for me. Please someone care about me. Please someone be my friend. How many nights do I have to spend crying someone help me please is killing myself my only way of finding peace


Anyone else feel like this? Like what’s the point of living if you’re going to be struggling financially and have to work your ass off just to get the bare minimum to not go hungry. Fuck this life

Like I’m already super depressed and on top of all that I have to worry about being able to afford basic necessecities. We’ve advanced so far as a society yet many of us still have so little.


What is even the point of working? What am I living for? I’ve been working this dead end job for 9 years and have nothing to show for it. I have no skills or qualifications. I live with my mother and have absolutely no money and don’t own anything. I can’t drive or afford to.

The weekend comes and I just sit at home alone. I want to go out and maybe have a drink but I can’t do that because I have nothing. I can’t get a girlfriend because I’m a broke loser who can’t do anything for them or afford to have a life with them. The only women I’ve been with I lied to and pretended I was better.

I honestly feel being dead would be better than feeling this bitter, depressed and angry all the time. Poor people shouldn’t have children, I resent my parents for bringing me into such a shitty world.

Hope to have the courage soon
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I have felt this way multiple times in the past and still do from time to time. I wish I could tell you something you can do to immediatly improve to situation, but all I learned was that things will eventually become better aslong as reflect on yourself and prevail. From what I've read, you seem to already have the ability to self reflect, which is invaluable

Also, you may feel alone but there are milions of people who feel similarily. You are never truely alone, there will always be many people that will be able to understand you, and I am sure that you will eventually meet people like this. Prevail, stay strong and it will pass. Something that helped with this was spending time outside and watching animals. Helped me take my mind off and just made me feel better. Maybe this could help you, and if not, just do whatever else you enjoy to make this difficult time easier for yourself

Adeleine That's great advice coming from you. I've never seen things laid out like this. I will think about it when I feel bad again. Thank you
 
i like to carry a lil notebook with me cus i write and like poetry and yada ya, but also jot down thoughts and ideas

a random "voice" lobbed this thought and when i was half tired/half baked from post-work relax the body; it resonated with me so I jotted it down:

the most interesting thing about loss is how it re-defines your mind, love becomes a 4 letter word you'll pick up a sword for if you arent a "aint shit" soul - but will quickly put down if they are (time vs. trust in investment becomes a ruling factor). the reality is loss keeps us humbled and in turn fueled - if for nothing else but honor (to ourselves, those lost, those also dealing with same feelings, etc) - but that soon too will become strength; if you do it right. I won't lie to anyone; life is a series of hugs and punches in the chest, you chose the side you focus on, I know my side.
 
recently refound a girl i went out with and albeit never went DEEP i loved her energy and (calling myself out) she took me saying "I only got card (cus she og wanted to split)" as she needed to pay and me being like "noooooooooo my intention was to pay on my card cus you're cool"
even if we just stay friendly im happy cus that mishap bothers me. since i do believe a man should pay for "the initial interests" dinners at the very least lol. i use to joke to her "i owe you 2 dinners to make that up" - ima sucker for the "quiet until they like someone good girl realm", she was peak that --- now she does tarot card readings and such. so mad that miscommunication made me look stupid smh.
 
my great uncle (Mom's Uncle) passed away last night, he's been a staple around the family get togethers forever.
I didn't have the same level of "Bond" with him as my Mom did (he stepped in as a father figure for her when her's died when she was 18) even knew a younger version of my Dad (Who was still getting into trouble back then, long before he met my Mom) cus he was a cop busting his ass about "I know you're mother, what are you doing rn Billy?" [when they got married he shook my father's hand and gave his blessing]
He had lost his wife and then daughter two months apart back in late 2014-early 2015 and you can tell it hurt him deeply (as it would anyone) he spoke openly about "Why would God allow something like that to happen?" and you can tell he longed to see them again.
Considering what all happened and how it went (infections and such) seemed he wasn't - like tryna "be out" but def didn't wanna "be here." So as sad as the loss is in another way I'm happy for him he's finally able to be with who he wants to again since he's been so hurt by it for so long.

I told my Mom i'll probably take the bereavement time more for her than anyone else cus he meant so much to her, and maybe help her feel a bit better getting shit done she's been wanting to for months.
Me myself I'm just bummed for my Mom more than anything - she'd get so excited anytime he'd stop by and was always all smiles when he was around. So gunna use the time for her and to rest my beat up body (Esp right shoulder).

RIP Uncle Rol.
 
BIG ASHLEY said:
the nature of humanity is such that every so often someone invents buddhism again
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I heard of the principles of budhism couple of months ago and I felt like it was genuinenly genius. Like it directly answered all of my struggles. It seems like a legitimate way towards happiness. When I read about how these principles are just regular words that literally mean what they're about and how budhism by itself doesn't have anything supernatural in it, I found that so interesting. It's simple to understand and apply

But I still reject it for myself. Dissapointment is painful and ambition is never fully satiated, but I feel that by forgoing all my desires, I would avoid a legitimate part of myself. Buddha himself has said that there are many ways towards happiness. I guess I will have to take my own, even if it is a painful one, I will still be mine

So to be less philosophical, psychedelics and shrooms? I've been reading for a few years how they allegedly help with mental health issues, but this died down recently. I feel like it's just people who think they found enlightenment after having tried out conciousness expanding stuff for the first time. I don't have any current interest in these things, but I wonder, did any of you make experiences with it?
 
I'm going cold turkey on alcohol and weed for a while, along with some other things that won't be named here. I haven't been liking how my body and brain have been feeling over the last month or so. Those on here who know me know that I'm a prolific person, but usually, I do my work in huge bursts (whether it be Pokemon analysis, college work, music, writing, etc).

I'm finding more and more that balance is a really, really difficult thing for me and it's easy to get sidetracked
 
last Friday i returned from a week long business trip that ended up being one of the worst weeks I've ever had in my life. i was having severe panic attacks and had to struggle through the days, sometimes just sitting in the bathroom for 30 minutes until they passed. I wanted nothing to do but come home, so I ended up cutting the trip a day short even if it meant spending way too much money on a last minute flight. when i got home Friday i was greeted by my girlfriend at the airport and just grateful to be home.

the next morning, after we were intimate, she told me she was breaking up with me because she wanted to move back home. i was shocked and in disbelief as this came out of nowhere. her mental health has not been great lately so initially i thought maybe this was a flight or fight response, but the more we talked i realized that this was something she thought about and was sure she wanted to do. the last week as one might imagine has been extremely tough. grief is terrible and one of the worst feelings in the world. I've spent half my days just in bed trying to understand what I did and why I wasn't enough. contrary to my posting habits, i think most people would consider me a very nice person, but being blindsided by these sorts of things can make you question a lot about yourself.

as the days went on, i noticed she seemed different and distant, as though she moved on. sparing all the details, i learned on Thursday she cheated on me while I was gone after a lot of lies and constant denial. while it wasn't physical cheating, part of the reason she broke up with me is because she wants to be with this other guy. initially i had planned to let her stay until this coming Monday, but when I learned this, i told her she needed to be out by the end of the night, and she was. Yesterday was the first day I had lived alone again for the last year and a half.

in a short few days i feel like i have already made good progress in moving on. I know I'll have my bad days and think about her from time to time, asking myself what went wrong, but at the end of the day knowing I was cheated on has made this so much easier for me. I realize there may not have been anything I could do to save this relationship if this was always something she was capable of. last night i saw an old friend over drinks and had a great time. equally, my friends from this community have been just as supportive in helping me get through this.

what irks me the most is just the timing of this all. everything from this happening the day after my trip, the day we were intimate, and a week before the one year anniversary of my dad's passing (Monday). it's really easy to feel deflated as all of these things are happening/happened at once, and I can't help but feel like maybe more bad things are coming my way. but it is what it is. I know I'll get through this and grow to be a better person. it might take me some time and that's okay. im trying to tell myself that it's okay to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. there are things in life we can't control and we just gotta take life one day at a time. that's all i got, there's no happy ending or words of wisdom here. i just wanted to share a small part of my life with strangers.

thanks for reading.
 
faint said:
but it is what it is. I know I'll get through this and grow to be a better person. it might take me some time and that's okay. im trying to tell myself that it's okay to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. there are things in life we can't control and we just gotta take life one day at a time. that's all i got, there's no happy ending or words of wisdom here. i just wanted to share a small part of my life with strangers.
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That is a very important realization and something that's very helpful when going to grieve

It's natural to blame yourself during a breakup, but it's always two people that are involved and it was her decision that was made independent from you. We all grieve in this time but such events are important for growth and you'll be stronger by the end of it
 
mushamu said:
Wholesome meme I found. Remember that if you’re struggling, take it slow. :heart:
IMG_2402.jpg
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I unironically really needed to see this
 
Local Dog said:
I lost my job recently and I was rejected pretty hard to boot too. My insecurities are acting up again, my anxiety too

Weird but very accurate comparison to me is Tony Montana. I see people with wealth, power, men with attractive women by their sides and don't have a real place in this world by myself. So I get jealous and hostile and want to have whatever the others have, but the more and more I get the less satisfied I become somehow. I used to feel bad because I never got job offers, now I get them regularly but I am jealous of people who get good, proper offers that are actually enticing. I used to feel like less of a man because I never received attention from women, now I get some attention from women but I still feel frustrated because none of my matches or women that hit on me seem enticing

Like what the fuck is wrong with me? I felt more secure and better about myself as a teen, when I was skinnyfat, dependent on my parents, had nothing in my pockets or in my mind, and now I somehow feel worse?

What can I even do? I feel stronger and stronger over my inadequacis the older I get and the more I progress
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I really empathize with this post. Well said.
 
i spoke to my relationship with the girl i spent so much time/lost a child with (literally probably 3/4ths of my "love life" LOL)etc , we been okay but a lil busy lately so not talking as much cus she's tending to Mom, me working and my Mom/sister having their things but have the daily check ins ofc.

I had a terrible dream that related to YEARS AGO and it was one of those "You know it's not a Deja vu dream cus there was some weirdness that makes it obvious BS [in this dream i had some Fast & Furious potential crash scene but pulled it out flawless (and i'm not even big into those movies LMFAO), but random plot twist after still made you upset how it went" regarding her (nothing like loss or etc but more a runback of past issues) and i woke up from it a lil tight and had to be like "no, that's your weird brain's thought, not her. only reason yall been so friendly is yall mutually see some growth from the last time"
I almost told her today but didn't want her to take it wrong. Like I said we've grown a lot from the worst days of both our lives, but I felt bad today that dream even happened. I hated it :puff:.
Think this is one that was like... a "Devil lob" tryna test if I believe in the progress or nah. We both spoke to growth needed for a successful reconnection, I'ma take it as my brain FKn with me cus now is the first chance in awhile it seems a real chance.
 
someone recently (well about past year) been egging my moms/my car and i think i know who - won't claim till i know (but i know)

think its a former girl i (literally only spoke with awhile and it ended, then went on to be with my friend but that didn't go over well- yada ya)
way too much HS BS drama for all sides being well out of High School. and tbh I don't wanna be involved.

the egging started once me and that girl stopped talking (thought it was cordial) - i legit hope i'm wrong but after my mom shown me the car and actions off the camera, it's either her or someone completely random with a similar car and for the life of me i have no idea what especially my mother wouldve done to make someone be that petty and childish.

edit* altered cus I was still a lil tight when i og posted, all that wasn't needed. but still frustrating.
 
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I used to try really hard to better my mental condition, but nothing except actual medication like prozac helped.

I honestly think, as people, we're gonna end up where we were always meant to end up. There is no sense is "trying hard" especially over and over again in cycles of failures. Because the people who actually are meant to succeed are the ones who try hard once or twice and get the result and go from there.

So I don't do anything to better my mental well being. If anything I do things to make it worse, such as extreme dieting. But putting immense stress on yourself has it's own pleasure in a way.

Basically everyone has a fate. That fate is determined when you're born. It is like all the stories where no matter how hard you try to fight fate, you're always walking along it's path.
 
Multiplayer gaming sucks. Having too many friends also sucks. These sound like things that would be great to have, but you’d be wrong. Maybe this is just a me thing, but I find that the more opportunities I have to try and do things with other people, the harder it is to try and balance my time and efforts to keep everyone else satisfied. The Indigo Disk DLC came out for Pokémon Scarlet & Violet last night, but what could have been somewhat enjoyable was ruined by multiple people at once wanting to play with me when I A. couldn’t play with all of them at once to begin with, and B. was hoping to just enjoy some solo exploration of the new areas, among other things.

I have a pretty big problem with wanting to try and make other people happy 24/7, and as you might expect, doing so isn’t exactly good for one’s own mental wellness. As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I started remembering the times when I used to not think this way. What changed since then were my excessive fears of the future and other people’s opinions and decisions that I don’t have control over. I’ve seen what can happen when people try and stand up for their own beliefs and opinions in person. It’s… not pretty. For now I think I’ll just stick to whatever choices can get me back on a better, healthier path.
 
i work a job that the "people over us like to put off on us" in

i was doing some work last night and checked my phone quick for the time and a "boss (saying lightly)" was like "oh phone during that?"
and i even looked at her like "Really?!" and said to her "Funny you worried bout "safety now" yet when the nonsense yall had us doing earlier everyone turned a blind eye cute -- btw who you talking too tell em I said hi.
Also get my Moms number since I wont ask her to come in again for you"

I'm incredibly staunch on the "If I don't bother anyone leave me the fuck alone" stance --- she just stood there like "awww uhhh"

yeah next time think, Eff you. Yall got a system with our numbers in it, look up my Moms - I aint helping you anymore you bum ass.

i won't deal with your disrespect, respect isn't an option with me.
 
December's always been my least favourite month. I've never celebrated really celebrated Christmas because it's always been a rather bad time of year for me. Especially with work and just everything I do, I've really started to feel useless. That everything I do doesn't amount to anything. Not necessarily that what I do isn't good enough (though sometimes it isn't), but rather that what I do ultimately won't result in anything. My brain has felt as if its deteriorating, my memory is horrendous, I feel that I can't do/remember things like what I used to do, and it's gotten to the point where the amount of stress from everything is preventing me from getting any good sleep, and I don't even remember when I actually DO get sleep, I can't really describe it but it's draining.

I'm writing this post 9 minutes before I have to go to work, and I'm ready to once again not do a good enough job.

Just feels like what's the point in this anymore?
 
recently been in a very good space and finding my way back to myself.
letting life i wanna live show me the energy and been oddly.... "happy" which is def new to me..... i'm not upset anymore so maybe i finally am.... HAPPY to be me.

this is new to me... but i love it. killed (old me-) myself to get here, i deserve it.
 
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I watched some vids about how some people that had unrestricted internet access as kids were deeply traumatized by that. Like I watched some vid about how the more fucked up stuff from MLP fans during the early 2010s made kids hypersexual and gave them trauma that has to be dealt with in therapy. Legit never knew of that, I just used the internet during my earlier childhood for Lego content and when that gross stuff appeared, I was already in twen to early teen years and largely avoided all that

Really sad honestly. I am glad I wasn't exposed to that. I wonder if that will be more common with future generations
 
There's some pretty fucked up shit I was exposed to as a kid on the internet that I really wish I hadn't, but a lot of it wasn't shit that I found on weird backwater sites or got sent by trolls or whatever. I still remember when I was doing research for a report on the Vietnam war and I stumbled onto an image of a bunch of Agent Orange-deformed fetuses floating in a barrel of water that still churns my stomach when I think about it 17 years later.

Most of the shock content I've seen doesn't bother me. Gore, goatse, shock porn, whatever. Most of it's fake, and the only reason any of it exists is to get a reaction out of random people on the internet. The shit that really gets to me is the the stuff that exists beyond just for shock value, and there's a lot of it out there.
 
BP said:
1000 ways to die used kill my stomach as a kid. I remember there was this one about a drowning that me throw up and start crying as a 10-11 year old I think.
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i had a friend who does dark rap who knew i was a poet ask me to watch that and do a poem for an album insert.
(wonderful guy just loved horror and rap music, i was too depressed then, but he did produce a beat he lobbed me once to try and convince me to take poetry -> raps [love the music, but my mom an artist, always felt "Writer" was my expression, not "Musician"])
i was depressed at the time then and told him "i appreciate the offer but i think that's the last thing i need to see rn." - I do feel bad cus he was so good to me but he understood, thankfully.
 
People say that parents need to monitor their children's internet activity but that can be difficult. If they were to look at the history of their watched videos and saw thumbnails of some of these disturbing videos, they would see rather harmless content and I don't think it can be expected that these parents watch everything their children watched. There's also a language barrier, my parents don't speak english and my internet activity since 12 is 95% in english, so they couldn't even understand what I look up

Denying children inetrnet access would also not work as it's mandatory for school activity at this point. Like I went to school from the mid 2000s to the mid 2010s, and I was assigned several times to do internet research. That is probably more prevalent today

Tech companies should do more to protect kids from such content. I wasn't very disturbed by it personally but I never saw disturbing content on the net until I was 12-13, I already had comprehensive sex ed by that time and was able to distingush beween the internet and real life. When I look at reports from people who saw fucked up fetish content as young kids and how it messed them up, that just makes it very clear that something should be done against this
 
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