I used to try really hard to better my mental condition, but nothing except actual medication like prozac helped.
I honestly think, as people, we're gonna end up where we were always meant to end up. There is no sense is "trying hard" especially over and over again in cycles of failures. Because the people who actually are meant to succeed are the ones who try hard once or twice and get the result and go from there.
So I don't do anything to better my mental well being. If anything I do things to make it worse, such as extreme dieting. But putting immense stress on yourself has it's own pleasure in a way.
Basically everyone has a fate. That fate is determined when you're born. It is like all the stories where no matter how hard you try to fight fate, you're always walking along it's path.
I personally think that there's always going to be bad things that happen to us individuals and they can very well impact our mental wellbeing, but its always good to see what we can do to better our situation. I used to sympathize with your view of fate and how we're predetermined to grow a certain way and have thought about the topic a lot throughout the past few years, but recently I have been looking into two people who had similar problems but ended up growing different ways.
If you're familiar with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man is portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., who has since gained a lot of recognition and fame for the role. Despite not portraying the superhero anymore he has starred in a lot of other films, with the most recent Oppenheimer being the prime example, and has been married to his wife Susan for 19 years- which is especially impressive since being able to maintain a relationship with the fame of Hollywood is not a a feat a lot of celebrities have accomplished. It's important to note that before his fame, he was struggling with addiction and was jailed a few times due to his drug usage. There's an entire section on Wikipedia about the period of time in his life when he would constantly get into troubles with the authorities because of his addiction. It's safe to say he did not only try a few times regarding his addiction and breaking it considering he was repeatedly jailed for 5 years and cost him a lot of his fame, but he eventually pushed past it and became a very successful actor.
This feat is especially impressive considering the psychology of addiction. A lot of addicts are people who want to escape their reality because the high of whatever they're addicted to is a lot better than facing their real life. People who are addicts forego their responsibilities in order to abuse the substance they're addicted to, leading to failed relationships, decreased productivity at work, and overall being absent from the reality of their life- with most of their time being centered on the addiction, or thinking about the substance they are addicted to. To get rid of the addiction is especially hard for a lot of people, because the addiction has absorbed a lot of the color from their world, leaving the outside world grey or boring. I'm currently overcoming a video game addiction, and these mindsets has played into a lot of dealing with the addiction in itself. I'd try to stay off of Pokemon Showdown, but I'd eventually find myself back where I started by running away from my problems in real life just because the instant hit of dopamine was so much better than whatever I had out there. I've recognized my problems and am going through therapy for it, but the point still stands. Robert Downey Jr. going from being completely addicted to drugs and incarcerated to sober and famous with a family after marrying the love of his life.
Robert Downey Jr. eventually overcame his addiction through working hard at rehabilitation in 2001. He eventually made his return to the big screen through smaller acting roles. The crucial thing to note here is that he completely
committed to rehabilitation, fully knowing what he wanted- to live life again as an actor in Hollywood. This quote by him resonates within me a lot:
"[Robert Downey Jr.] added that after his last arrest in April 2001, when he knew he would likely be facing another stint in prison or another form of incarceration such as court-ordered rehab, "I said, 'You know what? I don't think I can continue doing this.' And I reached out for help, and I ran with it. You can reach out for help in kind of a half-assed way and you'll get it and you won't take advantage of it. It's not that difficult to overcome these seemingly ghastly problems ... what's hard is to decide to do it." If he hadn't fully committed to getting better and kept trying to overcome it, he would probably still be addicted to drugs today, or may not even be alive due to how drugs can quickly downspiral someone's physical condition. It probably took him around 50-100 tries between constantly getting arrested, failing in rehabilitation and relapsing before he was able to pick himself up, and that's okay.
I used to have the same mindset as someone who was in a much worse mental state than I am today due to having a lot of trauma, but cases like RDJ's gave me hope on improving mental health wise, especially since I also struggle with addiction to cope with the trauma. But now, I personally think that no matter how things get, it's important to
try. Things always get better. Even if it sometimes may take years and years since everyone has different things that they're struggling with and has different things that work for them individually, the bottom line is that recovery and getting better is not typically linear. There may be some people who overcome their mental health struggles within one or two tries, but those are exceptions to the rule. The reality is that no one really has their shit figured out, and people who seem to have things together are also struggling with problems internally whether they know it or not. People just present their best self, and that's why social media is so deceptive.
Basically everyone has a fate. That fate is determined when you're born. It is like all the stories where no matter how hard you try to fight fate, you're always walking along it's path.
Personally I feel like a person's fate is just whatever that becomes of them in the end of their life. There's not really much else to it, since people can always try your best to solve your problems and live a fulfilling life. However, something you may want to look into is self fulfilling prophecies, which "mimic"s fate when a person believes a specific thing, and they come true as a result of it. I've dealt with this in my personal experience; for example when I was younger I told myself that people always thought I was weird so there was no point in ever making friends. As a result I unintentionally caused myself to have no friends by not going out and meeting new people and instead stayed home and played video games. It ties directly into your attitude regarding your certain situation, if someone believes that they can't do something, then they won't. With mental health put aside, it's almost impossible to get good at something by trying it only once or twice and that goes for pretty much anything in life. An object that is moving will continue moving unless affected by a force, so unless we try to change our situation and improve, then we will always fall into the unfortunate fate that we create for ourselves.
So basically I feel like change depends heavily on
what you tell yourself regardless of your current situation. People who get better start by first believing that they can improve to begin with. It's completely valid if you're struggling a lot and have tried different options to improve your own mental state, but please don't give up. There's a wonderful and happy person that is waiting to be uncovered sooner or later when you separate the pain from yourself. Even when things get seemingly hopeless, remember to believe in yourself and take things one day at a time. Don't let your problems win and never, ever, give up on fighting for the life you deserve to live to the fullest.
I have a pretty big problem with wanting to try and make other people happy 24/7, and as you might expect, doing so isn’t exactly good for one’s own mental wellness. As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I started remembering the times when I used to not think this way. What changed since then were my excessive fears of the future and other people’s opinions and decisions that I don’t have control over. I’ve seen what can happen when people try and stand up for their own beliefs and opinions in person. It’s… not pretty. For now I think I’ll just stick to whatever choices can get me back on a better, healthier path.
This is a huge problem among people who have trauma and neurodivergent people. Being neurodivergent in a society that celebrates neurotypical people commonly causes rejection sensitivity dysphoria, leading to a lot of people pleasing and a weak identity. I'm not sure if your case is specifically caused by being neurodivergent since I remember that you're on the spectrum, but it could be a factor that you could personally explore. Doing what's best for yourself definitely helps, and that leads to not caring as much what other people do since no matter what, you're still your own person. With that being said, good luck!
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