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The Most Amazing Moment in your life

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Literally the whole 2007, man what a glorious year, my last year of high school, and all my best friends togheter taking over the world, we did EVERYTHING that year, I can even sing "like a boss" with all the things we did, but I'm lazy, I didn't get laid the whole year, but I was so fucking happy with my friends that I didn't give a fuck about girls. Sadly in 2008 everyone went to the University, everyone got a girlfriend, everyone changed u_u, 2010 was another great year, but most of it because of my girlfriend, how I love that girl, I swear she's custom made for me, but nothing will ever beat 2007, best year of my life, yet

hey jackass your bragging is cool and all, but this is expressly as far from describing a moment as you could get
 
each time bartman makes a fool of himself for being so ridiculously racist against americans
 
I can't think of anything funny to say so I'll be serious and say the birth of my son. It was so amazing. He's so effing adorable.

Some interesting things they don't tell you about child birth: the doctor doesn't come in until the last moment. Like they're trying to run out the clock and score a buzzer beater. The nurses do almost everything. Also, when the doctor did come in she was wearing these epic looking boot scrubs that came up to her waist. I was like, "What are those for?" I found out it's for the gallons of blood that are about to pour forth. Seriously, a 2'x2' area of the floor was flooded with blood. It was gross.
 
the other day when i took a super greasy log of a shit and it just came out so perfectly i felt so good after like i had lost 20 pounds and i took a nap from the exhaustion of it all
 
Why do people lie?

Everyone who has had sex more than once knows that the first time a guy has sex he's awful.

I don't doubt you had sex. I doubt that the first time was anything more than you awkwardly flailing around and then apologizing afterwards.
 
Why do people lie?

Everyone who has had sex more than once knows that the first time a guy has sex he's awful.

I don't doubt you had sex. I doubt that the first time was anything more than you awkwardly flailing around and then apologizing afterwards.
Who said he is a guy?
 
when i first got my ladybug

irl, being on top of the Alps, seeing my relatives get baptized, going on a really big roller coaster for the first time

that and making district band and placing highest in my school
 
I think if your statement was amended from "your first time" to "the moment I realized I was gonna get some tonight for the first time" I'd probably believe you.
 
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