Update:
You may have noticed due to my failure to find a Burmy, I now have a Heracross named OUWarrior, with no STAB moves. It's actually pretty unfair, as it's helped me beat two gym leaders so far, which I'm sure Burmy wouldn't have been much a help with.
-Anyway, I levelled it up enough to learn Aerial Ace, and used that to sweep Maylene. Noggin (Turtwig) dutifully soloed Lucario to fulfill his requirements to evolve. At this point, all of my Pokes were a bit overlevelled due to all the time spent looking for Burmy, but not by much. PFCVagoo (Bidoof) continues to destroy everything in its path with Simple boosts.
-I approached a black-belt looking trainer and he said, "Don't say anything. Just take it." I was about to run and call the pedobear police, but he bought my secrecy with an Odd Keystone. I just hope the next person to talk to him doesn't suffer a different fate.
-Captain(Meditite) FINALLY learned a physical STAB, Force Palm. Halle-fricking-lujah. And a few levels later, Hi Jump Kick!
-Challenged Crasher Wake, which was pretty challenging. Mostly because nothing on my team can do anything to Gyarados. Nothing. Especially because of Intimidate. I could've used Turtwig but I needed to save him for the rest of the team. That damned Gyara took out Vagoo and OUWarrior before Captain finally took him out with Confusion. The rest was a breeze with Turtwig.
-Vagoo raped my rival with Rollout. Again. It's starting to feel unfair.
-Followed a Galactic Grunt, who was truly awful at hiding from me. "Derp I'm five steps away, how did you find me?" After that, Shirona gave me something to give to her Grandma in Celestic Town. I wonder why she didn't just hike over there herself.
-Now I know why. It's the MOST ANNOYING ROUTE IN HISTORY. Seriously Gamefreak, why why why did you include fog? It's like a cave full of Confuse Ray-ing Zubat times ten. In fact, there was a trainer with three Zubat, all very Confuse-happy. Aerial Ace was useful until OUWarrior died, then it was just torture. And the little ninja kid's Pokemon never seemed to miss. THANKS GAMEFREAK.
- Got to Celestic Town, Vagoo destroyed Jupiter. And then (YESS) I got Surf. This is good because it gives me a good reason to evolve Vagoo, who must have only special attacking moves to evolve. I had the opportunity earlier, but Rollout and Hyper Fang were better than any special TM's available. Now Vagoo is a Bibarel with Surf. And soon it will have Charge Beam (which gives a +2 boost with Simple). Awww yeah.
-I'm off to battle Fantina, which shouldn't be too hard with OUWarrior's Night Slash and Noggin's Bite. If it's close I can always just switch in my automatic-win-machine, I mean Bibarel.
Current Team-
Noggin (Turtwig)- Razor Leaf, Bite, Curse, Synthesis
Captain (Meditite)- Confusion, Force Palm, Hi Jump Kick, Calm Mind
PFCVagoo (Bibarel)- Surf, Grass Knot, Defense Curl, Amnesia
OUWarrior (Heracross)- Aerial Ace, Night Slash, Take Down, Counter (doesn't get STAB. Wheeee! Loopholes!)
To be caught: Glameow with Charm and Captivate. Must learn Attract eventually. And Snover, must solo Candice's Abomasnow and finish it off with Blizzard.