The Well #75 - dave

[antemortem]

lol

hey fellow smogoffans, smogoffites, smogoffidiots—it brings me great pleasure to do the honors of upholding the mantel of the Well #75, as Atlas would carry the world on his back

a couple of brief housekeeping things—you can send me Venmo and/or CashApp donations via Discord, or just gift me a vintage Beanie Baby via my P.O. Box (translation for British people: try speaking Amxrican, jesus fkccing christ)

most importantly, some info as preface for those who have the displeasure of not knowing me:

• i am 23 years old (a god damn boomer at this point)
• i was 18 years old when i was allowed to freely run this entire website as admin antemortem ((not recommended))
• i was 13 years old when i lied about my age for a couple years so people would accept me (((not recommended)))

anything else?

oh yeah i’m gay and biracial Black (i know, pick a struggle, right?)

also formally educated in acting for theatre/film/tv and unformally educated in babysitting communities on Smogon, ultimately now that task has fallen after all these years to Cong and Smogoff and i fuckin love what Smogoff in particular has become

BDSP was a waste of time and Legends: Arceus is a master race video game, also Fire Emblem is my fav series outside of that, haven’t played many video games otherwise the past few years

also happy to talk about my music taste/interest (i make hella playlists on Spotify and i can drop some of those if anyone wants to vibe)

do your worst babes

(btw my therapist called me a genius so i’ll try to bring my intellectual level down to a comprehensible wavelength)

 

[phoopes]

I may pop in and ask some questions later but…

i am 23 years old (a god damn boomer at this point

You’re lucky I don’t infract you for this

 

[fx]

what is dating like as a gay man

 

[Theorymon]

Do you have enough beanie babies to pay off a college loan (and where on earth do you store that many in your house)?

If you consider 23 a boomer, what am I at 30?

What's your favorite musical (I'm asking this because you mentioned theater experience, not because you're gay!)?

Finally... what is your favorite kind of pizza?

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

what is dave short for

 

[Oglemi]

dave

Describe the current grindr scene and/or other apps the kids are using these days, to someone who hasn't used one since fkn 2014

How does it feel to be a smogon boomer now? The sidelines are weird imo tbqh

Convince me to watch rupaul, as a gay that has not watched a singular episode

 

[Mace]

By biracial black do you mean you're 2 different types of black, like chocolate chip chocolate? What two if that's the case? Do not answer if the answer to 1 is no.

 

[AM]

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

 

[Gekokeso]

When the revolution comes, where will you hide?

Also favourite pokemon battle?

 

[CaffeineBoost]

do you think that people go to heck if they don't believe in gosh?

 

[faint]

what are your thoughts on the slap?

 

[Neko]

Why antemortem? Like why did you pick the name and how did it become Dave? :o

 

[GatoDelFuego]

3 favorite movies
Have you ever actually eaten gyros before
If, via quantum universe meddling machine, you could erase one Pokemon from existence, and nobody would remember it but you, which one would you erase?

 

[Berks]

i cannot believe we are the same age

also i went back and looked at a bunch of the analyses i wrote back in the day and you gp checked, like, most of them. where did that motivation come from?? or were you gping me to avoid the awful writers and still be productive?? what a time

 

[antemortem]

what is dating like as a gay man

dave

Describe the current grindr scene and/or other apps the kids are using these days, to someone who hasn't used one since fkn 2014

dear ogles and faxxy,

i decided to answer these together because they’re pretty closely related, though i guess that assumes “dating” and “grindr” can be fairly conflated…….. which is a stretch, you see

welcome to my masterclass in navigating grindr in the modern age, or: “looking?”

firstly as a nonbinary person i don’t identify or present primarily as a “man” anymore, but dating/hookup apps tend to prioritize and reward masculine presenting people, especially where i live now in Los Angeles; it comes with the territory

literally

anyway gays/Queers can be hella obnoxious, as always, but i feel like it’s not as bad as it used to be since apps tend to ask for a certain level of transparency, i.e through sexual health status, last tested date, social media account linkage (i would never do that stupid shit LOL), if you’re actually looking to send and receive NSFW pics (nudes, usually), etc.

therefore, in theory, one should be able to curate their profile and set their search filters—which act more specifically as a toggle switch for the profiles that appear on your grid rather than as a broad search function—to something that works for them

doesn’t always happen

slick snakes slide through, bots are highly prevalent and sometimes difficult to distinguish from drug abusers, the list goes on

but i like it and the Sniffies browser app for NSA shit and for getting attention for a quick serotonin boost. there’s nothing like leading on a few people from behind a screen and not opening the app again for 3 weeks !!

i’m in an open long distance relationship and we are polycapable as well, so it’s on pretty free terms and we practice that through active and open communication. if anyone wants to know more about that i’m down to talk about it

which brings me to…

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

consequently, as soon as i moved to LA i briefly dated the personal assistant to a billionaire and promptly fumbled the bag

 

[antemortem]

You’re lucky I don’t infract you for this

If you consider 23 a boomer, what am I at 30?

sensitive

 

[antemortem]

Why antemortem? Like why did you pick the name and how did it become Dave? :o

dear feline,

i usually say “because it beat my first usernames on the internet” but i’ll let you be the judge, jury, and executioner

• circa 2009 Shoddy: PkMn_Overlord_Dave
• circa 2011 Pokemon Online: TLightning -> TLight (as if this was an improvement…)
• circa 2012 PO & several other bullshit websites: Sockpuppet/Minzy

even my first u_n on smorgon was radio movie lmao so consider antemortem a wistful desire for a sustainable identity

dave? that’s just because people have historically defaulted to calling me that online for like the last 10 yrs after finding out my name is david, so it was actually an inevitability i finally decided to lean into

what is dave short for

dear son,

dave is short for your new step dad

 

[Neko]

PkMn_Overlord_Dave

so it was a foreshadowing :O
You circled back after so long, which sounds kinda cool, though

 

[aurora]

what possessed you to join this site

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

what is the worst post you've ever seen. like just a truly dogshit post

you are not allowed to say this one

 

[Snak]

ello dave, hows life taking care of smogoff? and did you ever dive into the showdown side of things?

 

[Heavyweapons Mann]

Have you ever thought about the existence of the Smogoff iceberg?

 

[mf]

what's your guilty pleasure

 

[a fairy]

what community was your favorite to unformally recieve education from bab(b)ysitting, and why isn't it the one i'm calling you out from

 

[Fishy]

first of all dave why do you keep spaming your WELL link on all the servers like there haven't already been a bazillion questions

so anyway why are you so obsessed with urself??? is it ur face???

hmmmm fuck/marry/kill Hector/Jaffar/Nils (rly curious about this answer) ((this is the FE question i was takking about))

on a serious note, if you could be any current pop culture figure's PR agent, whose would you be and why do they desperately need ur help