Until the death, by the dead, First OU warstory

pokemonisfun

Banned deucer.
Hello!
Not only is this my first warstory, this is my first post too, so load up on the (constructive) criticism. I like to play stall as ragequits help my rating. Here's my team:
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I'm playing with keclify in a ladder match. It may be a little long, but I hope you think it's worth your time.
My pokemon are in red, keclify in blue. Comments will be in italics. So here we go!

Rules: Ladder Match, Sleep Clause, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Evasion Clause, Species Clause, Strict Damage Clause
hilarious sent out Swampert (lvl 100 Swampert ?).
keclify sent out Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
For the past few battle, Azelf started with Stealth Rocks or U-turn so I decide to try to set up my own Rocks since at worst I'll be taunted.
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100
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100

Azelf used Taunt.
Swampert fell for the taunt!
Swampert used Stealth Rock.
Swampert can't use Stealth Rock after the taunt!

Well darn it. I go and break it's sash with Ice Beam now as they Stealth Rock.
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100
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80

Azelf used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around the foe's team!

Swampert used Ice Beam.
Azelf lost 26% of its health.
Azelf's leftovers restored its health a little!
Azelf restored 6% of its health.

At this point I'm scratching my head. Why would Azelf run Lefties? I decide to take another stab at keclify's team with Ice Beam to scout what they will do.
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93
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31

Azelf used U-turn.
Swampert lost 13% of its health.
keclify switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Swampert used Ice Beam.
It's super effective!

Breloom lost 69% of its health.
Swampert's taunt wore off!
Breloom was badly poisoned!
Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

The hit on Breloom is nice and at just a bit of my health. I know that, however, Poison Heal gives it a lot of health against stall teams because the lack of offense. I go to Skarmory to absorb the Sleep or Seed Bomb.
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hilarious switched in Skarmory (lvl 100 Skarmory ?).
Pointed stones dug into Skarmory.
Skarmory lost 12% of its health.

Breloom used Spore.
Skarmory fell asleep!
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.

At this point I revealed my lack of Leftovers and Breloom is healing up. Magnezone would be no problem anyways beacause of Blissey. I decide to go to Cresselia and set up reflect later. It's not truly set-up fodder because Reflect and Thunderwave. Still, I am cautious since I have my primary Phazer sleeping.
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93

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30

hilarious switched in Cresselia (lvl 100 Cresselia ?).
Pointed stones dug into Cresselia.
Cresselia lost 12% of its health.

Breloom used Substitute.
Breloom lost 25% of its health.
Breloom made a substitute!

Cresselia's leftovers restored its health a little!
Cresselia restored 6% of its health.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.

I expected a Substitute. So no biggie. I set up Reflect to proceed to laugh at the overgrown ugly mushroom.
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Cresselia used Reflect.
A barrier was formed!

Breloom used Seed Bomb.
A critical hit!

Cresselia lost 25% of its health.
Cresselia's leftovers restored its health a little!
Cresselia restored 6% of its health.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.
It's a Crit but a rather pointless one. I use Ice Beam to break the Sub. I can take anything from the shroom under a Reflect.
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53

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54

Cresselia used Ice Beam.
It's super effective!

The substitute took damage for Breloom!
Breloom's substitute faded!
Breloom used Seed Bomb.

Cresselia lost 13% of its health.
Cresselia's leftovers restored its health a little!
Cresselia restored 6% of its health.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.

At this point it's obvious Poison Heal is helping Breloom. With more health than Cressy, fear is creeping in me. I decide Breloom won't stay and so I T-wave the incomer.
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59

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86

keclify switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Cresselia used Thunder Wave.
Azelf is paralysed! It may be unable to move!
Cresselia's leftovers restored its health a little!
Cresselia restored 6% of its health.

Azelf's leftovers restored its health a little!
Azelf restored 6% of its health.

I predict right, but I wish I saw more than Azelf again. I see a Taunt so I take another stab with Ice Beam.
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48

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100

Cresselia used Ice Beam.
Azelf lost 23% of its health.
Azelf used U-turn.
It's super effective!

Cresselia lost 11% of its health.
keclify switched in Tyranitar (lvl 100 Tyranitar ?).
Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
A sandstorm brewed!
The sandstorm rages.

Cresselia is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Cresselia lost 6% of its health.
Cresselia's leftovers restored its health a little!
Cresselia restored 6% of its health.

Tyranitar is freaking the heck out of me now. It kills stall in so many sets, so I send in Swampert as it can deal with all T-tars.
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93

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Tyranitar used Pursuit.
It's super effective!

Cresselia lost 25% of its health.
hilarious switched in Swampert (lvl 100 Swampert ?).
Pointed stones dug into Swampert.
Swampert lost 6% of its health.
Swampert's reflect wore off!

The sandstorm rages.
Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

My Cresselia gets hit again and at this point I decide it will be death fodder. Swampert comes in but since T-tar will obviously leave, I set up Stealth Rocks.
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keclify switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Swampert used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around the foe's team!

The sandstorm rages.
Azelf is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Azelf lost 6% of its health.

Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

Azelf's leftovers restored its health a little!
Azelf restored 6% of its health.

Azelf comes back in, but now keclify can't switch for free. Since the pixie is crippled, I suspect an Explosion. Knowing they have a T-tar with Pursuit, I switch in Cresselia as opposed to Rotom-H.
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5-5 (even)

hilarious switched in Cresselia (lvl 100 Cresselia ?).
Pointed stones dug into Cresselia.
Cresselia lost 12% of its health.

Azelf used Explosion.
Cresselia lost 26% of its health.
hilarious's Cresselia fainted.

keclify's Azelf fainted.
The sandstorm rages.

The Explosion does come as I thought. I switch in Tentacruel thinking that they will go to T-tar of Breloom as to not reveal their team. If T-tar, then I go to Swampy, if Breloom, then I attack. No matter what, its a blind switch-in
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hilarious switched in Tentacruel (lvl 100 Tentacruel ?).
keclify switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Pointed stones dug into Tentacruel.
Tentacruel lost 12% of its health.

Pointed stones dug into Breloom.
Breloom lost 6% of its health.

I go for HP-fire for the kill.
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82

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83

keclify switched in Tyranitar (lvl 100 Tyranitar ?).
Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
Pointed stones dug into Tyranitar.
Tyranitar lost 12% of its health.

Tentacruel used Hidden Power.
It's not very effective...

Tyranitar lost 5% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.

Tentacruel is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Tentacruel lost 6% of its health.
Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.

I don't get the Breloom and only manage to scratch the T-tar. The lack of Lefties is a relief, it probably is only Scarfed since it used pursuit. I go to the obvious Swampert.
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83

keclify switched in Tyranitar (lvl 100 Tyranitar ?).
hilarious switched in Swampert (lvl 100 Swampert ?).
Pointed stones dug into Swampert.
Swampert lost 6% of its health.

Tyranitar used Earthquake.
Swampert lost 25% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

The moving mountain goes for Earthquake which Swampert takes quite nicely. Even though my Earthquake is obvious, I need to take down the beast as I still am not 100% sure of it's set. None of their known Pokemon are immune to it right now, so I decide to go for it.
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keclify switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Pointed stones dug into Breloom.
Breloom lost 6% of its health.

Swampert used Earthquake.
It's not very effective...

Breloom lost 24% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Breloom is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Breloom lost 6% of its health.
Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.
Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

My eagerness to kill the probably Scarfed Tyranitar is biting me in the behind now. My main Breloom counter, Cress is in the great beyond at this point. However, with Sleep Clause activated by Skarmory all it can do is set up a Sub or Seed Bomb. My Tentacruel outrun all neutral Breloom and Tyranitars who are not Scarfed. I decide to go to it. If Breloom Subs then I can break it and take the incoming Seed Bomb. If it just Bombs me, then I will kill it the next turn, outspeeding and killing it.
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hilarious switched in Tentacruel (lvl 100 Tentacruel ?).
Pointed stones dug into Tentacruel.
Tentacruel lost 12% of its health.

Breloom used Seed Bomb.
Tentacruel lost 55% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Tentacruel is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Tentacruel lost 6% of its health.

Breloom is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Breloom lost 6% of its health.

Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.

Seed Bomb hits the squid but it still has a small chunk of health left. With keclify now knowing Tentacruel is my best Breloom swith-in, I think he values it more now. Surf and Sandstorm may just kill the frail fighter and it would give decent damage to Tyranitar. Rapid Spin would be foolish, it's main use it to take out Spikes not Stealth Rocks as none of my team is weak to it. One layer of Toxic Spikes, which is all I could hope to get, hinders me more than helps so I decide to Surf.
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25

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32

keclify switched in Tyranitar (lvl 100 Tyranitar ?).
Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
Pointed stones dug into Tyranitar.
Tyranitar lost 12% of its health.

Tentacruel used Surf.
It's super effective!

Tyranitar lost 39% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.

Tentacruel is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Tentacruel lost 6% of its health.
Tentacruel's leftovers restored its health a little!
Tentacruel restored 6% of its health.

So I get a good chunk of damage against T-tar. Tentacruel can't come back in later so now it would be a great death fodder for two reasons. If I out speed it, then the Tyranitar goes six feet under. If not, then I get solid proof the Tyranitar is Scarfed. My Swampert is not in tip-top shape so I can't send it in. Regardless, all I can lose now is a weakened Tentacruel.
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4-5 (to keclify)

Tyranitar used Earthquake.
It's super effective!
A critical hit!

Tentacruel lost 21% of its health.
hilarious's Tentacruel fainted.

The sandstorm rages.
Keclify is now leading and the thoughts of Infernape sweeping me is now running through my mind. I can go to Rotom-H now, as I know the Tyranitar is locked on Earthquake. Since I know the Tyranitar is locked on Earthquake I go to Rotom. I doubt they have more than one Pursuiter It can kill off the Tyranitar with Thunderbolt or injure whatever is coming in.
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82
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56

hilarious switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

keclify switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

Rotom-h used Thunderbolt.
It's not very effective...

Rotom-h lost 26% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

At this point you probably realize the title comes from these two little toasters. I could go to Blissey as it is still unrevealed but my team is obviously stall now. This means, that since nearly all stall teams use the fat blob, Rotom-H could trick me. The lack of Lefties tell me it can it is Choiced. It may be the lesser seen Specs version as they already have a scarfed Tyranitar, but they are so rare I doubt it. I go to Swampert as I can take any and every thing from Rotom (though Trick makes me frown).
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7
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hilarious switched in Swampert (lvl 100 Swampert ?).
Pointed stones dug into Swampert.
Swampert lost 6% of its health.

Rotom-h used Shadow Ball.
A critical hit!

Swampert lost 68% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

The first real bit of hax in the game with the Crit. I can consider myself lucky that the damage multiplier wasn't higher though, or I would be down by two. It is Scarfed, as Specs would have killed Swampert. The mudfish just barely stays conscious, determined not to fall into the void like Rotom's past life once did. In comes Blissey to take the Shadow Ball. I'm not to worried about Tyranitar as it is badly weakened and can be killed easily. Swampert can be used as death fodder later in the match.
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hilarious switched in Blissey (lvl 100 Blissey ?).
Pointed stones dug into Blissey.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.

Rotom-h used Shadow Ball.
It doesn't affect Blissey...
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

Blissey is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Blissey lost 6% of its health.
Blissey's leftovers restored its health a little!
Blissey restored 6% of its health.

Resisdual damage is really racking up for Rotom-H and I am feeling quite comfortable now. To scout their switch in, I use Wish. Nothing much else here.
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32

keclify switched in Breloom (lvl 100 Breloom ?).
Pointed stones dug into Breloom.
Breloom lost 6% of its health.

Blissey used Wish.
Blissey made a wish!
The sandstorm rages.
Breloom is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Breloom lost 6% of its health.
Blissey is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Blissey lost 6% of its health.

Breloom's Poison Heal restored health!
Breloom restored 12% of its health.
Blissey's leftovers restored its health a little!
Blissey restored 6% of its health.

keclify should have known that my Blissey can kill the Breloom. I am not sure why he sends it out, but I go for the kill with Seismic Toss. I can only hope the Breloom does not have Superpower, which is the only reason I could think why it would come back in.
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100
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0


4-4 (even)

Breloom is tightening its focus!
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
Breloom lost 32% of its health.
keclify's Breloom fainted.
The wish came true!
Blissey restored 12% of its health.

The sandstorm rages.
Blissey is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Blissey lost 6% of its health.
Blissey's leftovers restored its health a little!
Blissey restored 6% of its health.

The turn goes as expected. My Blissey heals back the bit of health it lost and Breloom has meet it's maker. The casualty brings up the score to four to four, good news for me. I'm feeling quite cocky at the moment, knowing they have a very weak Tyranitar and Rotom-H, posing little threat to me.
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keclify switched in Heatran (lvl 100 Heatran ?).
Pointed stones dug into Heatran.
Heatran lost 12% of its health.

hilarious switched in Swampert (lvl 100 Swampert ?).
Pointed stones dug into Swampert.
Swampert lost 6% of its health.

Heatran used Substitute.
Heatran lost 25% of its health.
Heatran made a substitute!
The sandstorm rages.
Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.

Swampert's leftovers restored its health a little!
Swampert restored 6% of its health.

I send in Swampert to take the Explosion after Heatran comes in- which was the only reason I thought it would come on a Blissey. To bad for me, it sets up a Subtitute. That means there is little chance of it blowing up. However, in case it is a lure for Blissey, I let Swampert stay in in case of it blowing up. Good-bye my fish.
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77


3-4 (keclify)

Heatran used Earth Power.
Swampert lost 12% of its health.
hilarious's Swampert fainted.

The sandstorm rages.
Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.

I expected it to kill me off. The score, I think, is decieving. My Blissey walls Rotom and Heatran, as well as T-tar stuck in Crunch. THey do have an unrevealed, but I believe Skarmbliss can take it on! I bring in Blissey to wall the Heatran and chip away at it's health.
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75
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83

hilarious switched in Blissey (lvl 100 Blissey ?).
Pointed stones dug into Blissey.
Blissey lost 12% of its health.

Heatran used Fire Blast.
Blissey lost 23% of its health.
Blissey used Wish.
Blissey made a wish!

The sandstorm rages.
Blissey is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Blissey lost 6% of its health.

Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.

Blissey's leftovers restored its health a little!
Blissey restored 6% of its health.

Once again this is all quite obvious. I go to Wish to help my dwindling health.
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91
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90

Heatran used Fire Blast.
Blissey lost 24% of its health.
Blissey used Seismic Toss.
The substitute took damage for Heatran!
Heatran's substitute faded!

The wish came true!
Blissey restored 50% of its health.

The sandstorm rages.
Blissey is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Blissey lost 6% of its health.

Heatran's leftovers restored its health a little!
Heatran restored 6% of its health.

Blissey's leftovers restored its health a little!
Blissey restored 6% of its health.

So I send in a Seismic Toss to break the Sub. When keclify realizes he cannot win the set up, I plan to use Heal Bell to wake Skarmory (my Blissey is weird). Nothing can stop the blob now!
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0
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0


2-3 (keclify)

Heatran used Explosion.
Blissey lost 90% of its health.
hilarious's Blissey fainted.
keclify's Heatran fainted.
The sandstorm rages.

Friggin' out I am. How on earth did Heatran blow up on me? I saw Substitute so I arrogantly assumed it would not have Explosion. Explo-friggin'-sion. But you probably already interpreted my writing and saw the it coming. I didn't. My options were thin. Skarmory was incapitated and Rotom-H weakened. Since it was Choiced, I decided to go with Rotom-H, so I could switch as needed. The Tyranitar and Rotom could be killed, but I needed Sandstorm for Rotom-H. All this and an unrevealed Pokemon! So here we go...
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2-2 (even)

hilarious switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
keclify switched in Tyranitar (lvl 100 Tyranitar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
Pointed stones dug into Tyranitar.
Tyranitar lost 12% of its health.

Rotom-h used Thunderbolt.
A critical hit!

Tyranitar lost 19% of its health.
keclify's Tyranitar fainted.
The sandstorm rages.

Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

So I kill the Tyranitar with a lolzy Crit. Locked in T-Bolt, I hope they have nothing to deal with Rotom, as they didn't send in their unrevealed before.
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0
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24

1-2 (keclify)

keclify switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

hilarious switched in Skarmory (lvl 100 Skarmory ?).
Pointed stones dug into Skarmory.
Skarmory lost 12% of its health.

Rotom-h used Overheat.
It's super effective!

Skarmory lost 75% of its health.
hilarious's Skarmory fainted.

Rotom-h's special attack was harshly lowered.
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

I switch into Skarmory because since they switched to Rotom-H, I decided they could not handle Rotom-H with the last Pokemon. Also Sandstorm hurt Rotom so I could kill it with T-bolt.
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52
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10
hilarious switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

keclify switched in Suicune (lvl 100 Suicune).
Suicune is exerting its pressure!
Pointed stones dug into Suicune.

Suicune lost 12% of its health.
Rotom-h used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!

Suicune lost 77% of its health.
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

Suicune is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Suicune lost 6% of its health.
Suicune's leftovers restored its health a little!
Suicune restored 6% of its health.

The biggest mistake of the game is made here by keclify. If he stayed in, Suicune could take a T-Bolt and finish off the ghost with Surf. I finish off the dog now.
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46
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0

1-1 (even)

Rotom-h used Thunderbolt.
It's super effective!
Suicune lost 10% of its health.
keclify's Suicune fainted.
The sandstorm rages.
Rotom-h is buffetted by the sandstorm!
Rotom-h lost 6% of its health.

So. This is how it ends. A speed tie.

keclify switched in Rotom-h (lvl 100 Rotom-h).
Pointed stones dug into Rotom-h.
Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.

hilarious: are you scarfed?
keclify: yeah
hilarious: timid?
Rotom-h used Thunderbolt.
It's not very effective...

Rotom-h lost 12% of its health.
keclify's Rotom-h fainted.
hilarious wins!
hilarious: gg

keclify: gg speed tie
keclify has left the room.


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40
The Champion

keclify's team
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479O.png


I won by pure luck and that one crit was the only hax that matters. Thank-you for reading and thanks keclify for a great game.
 
The only thing I really notice is that all the pictures come before the actual turn, if you moved them to, maybe, between the log and you comments it would really help the reader out. And perhaps put a space or two between each turn.

Other than that, not a bad warstory.
 
I enjoyed reading it but there were a few simple errors.
1- you lost the colors at the end
2- can't tell who won. You said keclify won then that you won by pure luck.
3- just a suggestion, put the health after the battle info. It makes it easier to understand.

Other than those issues, I really enjoyed the battle and comments. It wasn't a perfect battle in any way, but your comments made your mistakes understandable and nothing that took away from the story.
 
SkarmBlissCress? Really?

The comments were pretty lacking, and the health coming before the battle log was a bit annoying. Also, your English isn't very good.

On the whole, not a bad battle or the worst warstory I've ever read, but you should work on it some more before you post another one.
 
I liked it, but I felt it could have been a lot better if you just tweaked stuff in certain spots like formatting. Otherwise, nice job :)
 
Thanks for the comments all of you , goodness knows they were better than most of mines. I'll fix the formatting later when I figure out how to.
 
Your commentary is a bit lacking but the battle wasn't bad and I really like the format. Good first try.
 
Either it was your way of playing stall or his way of preventing stall but you didn't get anywhere i felt. All you did was switching around to take the incoming attack without setting up Spikes or pHazing. Warstory wise, it was okay and the battle was quite entertaining.
 
As a first warstory this was very good. Albeit comments lacking in terms of length, they offered enough insight in your decisions and helped to determine the rationale behind certain moves.

Breloom is a douche.

Good story bro.
 
SkarmBlissCress? Really?

What's wrong with that? They've got good balance together. So what if it's not the most original team in the world, if it works then it works. Skarm deals with physical attackers, Blissey with special, and Cress with Infernape. Pretty solid and is tough as hell to take down.
 
The fact that the health came before the log really pissed me off, as it kind of destroyed any suspense. I was almost on the edge of my seat, thinking "Will Heatran explode? Will it?!", until then i saw a 0 next to Heatran and wondered what the hell happened.

That said, the battle was really good for a warstory, and while the comments weren't the most in-depth ever, they were enough, imo, to get the point across. :)
 
This was very good for a first try! I agree that the formatting could use a little work and just a bit more for the comments would be nice.

Hope to see more from you.
 
What's wrong with that? They've got good balance together. So what if it's not the most original team in the world, if it works then it works. Skarm deals with physical attackers, Blissey with special, and Cress with Infernape. Pretty solid and is tough as hell to take down.

I know they work well together, I just don't think having all of them on the same team makes for a great warstory.
 
Once again, thank-you for the advice and comments. I can't figure out how to change the order of the pictures so I guess I'll have to keep it in mind for next time, assuming I ever do this again. I never knew how long warstories took to make.
 
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