Challenge The Scramble Challange

From King Serperior: Jimera0, take a Snorlax and have it as close as possible to the first gen 1 moveset for it. Must solo Giovanni and your rival before the E4 and after gym 8.
for that Snorlax, teach it surf in place of self-destruct unless you have access to a way for it to learn it. Name it Gen1OU since I forgot to give it a name.

From Tyranitarphantom: you'll both be going with a Poliwag named Wuzzle. It loves confusing people with it's swirling patterns, so it must always hit an opponent with Hypnosis before attacking (once it learns it, of course). However, once it evolves to Poliwhirl, it's swirl reverses, so it must forget Hypnosis. From that point on, it may never use a move on the opponent that isn't an attacking move. It prefers to use brute force, so it must learn strength. It may be evolved into Poliwrath once you have obtained 6 badges, and it must have soloed one of those leaders. All other restrictions remain.

From EndQuote: take a Charmander and name it Charming.
This adorable little lizard is quite the smooth talker, so it must learn and keep Attract ASAP. (TM is on Route 24)
It must use Attract to infatuate every Pokémon of the opposite gender it is sent out against.

In addition, it cannot use Fire-type attacks against Pokémon of the opposite gender, because nothing ruins a date like a whirling inferno.
However, if the date is going badly, he might as well use fire. (If Blaze activates OR he is the last Pokémon alive in your party, you can use Fire-type attacks)

He must solo Erika and at least three Pokémon in the elite four.
Good luck!

From Super Saiyan: take Shenron the Pikachu . He has 3 flaws though.
1. He has limited attack knowledge, so he can only use his level up moves. No tms or hms.
2. He has poor endurance, so he must rest after defeating an opponent. He can battle again once the next opponent is defeated or the battle ends. (Can solo Gym Leaders)
3. He is terrified of Flying and Water Pokemon so he may never battle them. This restriction is SO getting wished away, RIGHT NOW.
Knowing this, he has the power of the Eternal Dragon and will grant you a wish. You may remove one of the above restrictions immediately. If he solos 4 Gym Leaders (Changed to soloing 50 Electric type Pokemon, wild or trained, since soloing 4 Gym Leaders in conjunction with my other challanges is impossible), you get another wish and may remove another restriction. Unfortunately, 1 restriction will always be in place. No evolution restrictions. For an extra challenge, you can refuse the wishes. Congrats, you are the first recipient of my Signature Challange! Good luck!

From Axemaster68: you get Ball the Sandshrew. Ball has no restrictions, congratulations!! Just a few small things first:

1) Set up Sandstorm in every E4 battle not being soloed and make sure to have the move before going there.

2) Use Defense Curl against 15 different evolution lines(one member of each) to evolve. COMPLETE!

3) One boosting move at a time maximum.

4) Use Sand Tomb against 50 pokemon to forget the move after Ball learns it.

5) Solo Koga after evolving, or any other gym leader and his GLMP(yes AFTER evolving I am being nice today).

You can remove any 1 restriction after the solos are completed.

If Ball faints more than 5 times, he needs a buddy. That buddy will be a Grass type decided by someone else. Good luck and enjoy one example of my signature buddy challenge!!

From Oh Biscuits: Enjoy Bulbus the Bellsprout! In the Latin story that I'm translating right now, there's a character named Bulbus. His name means "onion," just so you know. Bulbus is extremely jealous of Modestus, who he thinks is Charming the Charmander! So he must never fight ANY double battles with him. He must also solo Misty, since Misty comes before Erika and Bulbus believes that he's better than Charming. (This works 'cause Modestus wasn't so modest and was quite the ladies' man.) He must evolve before Charming and after he solos Misty, and he can evolve again any time. This shouldn't be TOO hard.

Alright, time to start this challange off! Ok, yeah yeah, I don’t need to know the controls I’ve been playing some version of this game for well over a decade. Hi Oak! ... Yes I’m a boy. I think you forgot your bifocals on the desk again. I’m Jimera btw. Wait. You don’t remember your own Grandson’s name? The one that lives basically a 3 second walk from your lab? Are you sure you should be working still? Well I bet he’s a derp, just like his grandpappy. No wait, I didn’t say his name was “Derp” you derp! ... I did not say..! Whatever, I’ll just roll with it.

AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh I’m shrinking.......!

AHEM well anyway, first things first, let’s grab that traditional first potion out of my PC. Now, down the stairs we go... Oh hi virtual mom who I have no emotional connection to whatsoever. How are you today?

Mom: “...Right. All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV.”

And TV is never wrong, eh kids? I’m damn glad my real mother isn’t so rock stupid. Cya later! Or never, either one works.

Random girl: “Signs are useful aren’t they”
Sign she was standing in front of: “Press START to open the MENU”
Oh yes, so useful... how many times did you get dropped on your head as a kid again?

Alright, enough goofing around, let’s get me a starter!

Oak: “It’s unsafe! Wild Pokemon are in the tall grass!”
So, um, how does literally anyone else leave the town? I mean it’s pretty clear that most of the people here aren’t trainers. Or is this a town of hermits or something, and no one ever goes anywhere. Actually, that would explain a lot of stuff in the Pokemon world... seeing as the only characters that ever seem to go anywhere are the trainers. And that they’re all constantly amazed by incredibly inane things.

Anyway, I finally get to pick my damn Charmander. Welcome to the team Charming!
We all know what comes next right? Derp picks Squirtle, picks a fight with me and and I kick his ass. Same old, same old...

Wait what? Shut up Professor Oak, I know how to have a Pokemon battle. After I step out of this damn lab I never want to see you and your plaque riddled brain again!

*a lot of whimpy scratching and tackling later*
Wow, I swear that is the first starter battle I’ve ever had where neither of us ended up using anything but our damaging moves. Thankfully even with him getting a crit I still kicked his ass. Thank you Scratch for being slightly superior to Tackle.

Derp: “WHAT, Unbelievable, I picked the wrong Pokemon” Dude, you really ARE a derp. I am now glad your Grandfather will call you that forever. And so I shall too.

Alright, off to Viridian City I go then!

*several boring wild encounters and one free potion later*

“Charming learned Ember”
Woo, now I can use my STAB! On male Pokemon that is, because Charming is such a damn chauvinist.

*several more boring encounters and an inane conversation later*

And here we are, Viridian City! Let’s talk to the locals and hear what incredible wisdom they have to impart to me, shall we?

“You want to hear about the two types of Caterpillar Pokemon?”
.... No.

You know what, screw that. I’m just going to pick up that potion that’s always behind that cuttable tree, go to the Pokemon Center, then the PokeMart and getting this over with.

*enters Pokemart*
(paraphrased) “OHAI DER, CAN YOU TAKE THIS RANDOM ASS PARCEL TO OAK JUST BECAUSE YOU HAPPEN TO BE FROM THE SAME TOWN AS HIM? NO? OH WELL I JUST WON’T SELL YOU ANY POKEBALLS UNTIL YOU DELIVER IT HAR HAR HAR”

Why do I have to deliver the damn parcel anyway? Wait wait, I bet it has to with that theory I had that only people with Pokemon actually go anywhere in this game. But then how the hell did this guy recognize me if he’s never been to Pallet Town and I’ve never been to Viridian? Oh for cripes sakes, it’s better just not to think about it isn’t it.

*quick trip to Pallet Town later*

Blah blah, Pokedex blah, do your work for you because you’re a senile old man blah here’s some Pokeballs blah. Yeah yeah, we’ve all gone through it around 20 times before. Let’s get on with it.

Alright, just gotta pick up the Town Map (not that anyone ever actually uses it) and get out of here.
Daisy: “Geeze, Gramps asked you to run an errand for him? How lazy.”
And that’s just about the understatement of the century. If this is an ERRAND for him, I’d hate to see what constitutes real work.

Well, now I think it’s time to actually time to begin my Challange in earnest! Next time I fight Derp again! Or not because I can’t get anything that can take on his Squirtle until I get Shenron the Pikachu! In any case, the real shit starts happening now! Aren’t you excited? I know I am *forced grin*.

Ok, Back in Viridian. Not much point in going to route 22 since I got nothing to train and don’t want to fight my rival yet, so I might as well head straight to Viridian Forest.

La dee dah ACK AMBUSHED BY OLD MAN. No, I already know how to catch Pokemon. Hey, why are you holding onto my wrist? Let go before I break your arm you old fart! What’s this stupid TV thing you’ve given me? I’m supposed to lug this thing around all over the place? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.

*dashes away from stupid old man*

Hrmmm I guess I had better catch a Rattata to be an HM slave. Don’t want to waste precious move slots on Cut and Rock Smash, that’s for damn certain.

*encounters random Rattata. Catches random Rattata. Promptly forgets about random Rattata*

Random Girl inside entrance to Viridian Forest: “Rattata may be small, but don’t underestimate its wicked bite. Have you caught one already?”
O.O fucking psychic little girl is creeping me out.

Anyway, time to explore this bug infested forest and catch a Pikachu. Surely this will be easy, right?

*10 minutes later*

WHY ARE SO MANY OF THEM FEMALE ARRRRRG. It’s a miracle I haven’t been poisoned yet. Well this is as good a place as any to get Charming up a few levels anyway

Alright, time for my first trainer battle that isn’t Derp! Come at me Bug Catcher Rick! I just hope to god that he doesn’t have a female Metapod...

First one is a male weedle. Alright, ROASTING TIME.
Next is a male caterpie. BURN BABY BURN, DISCO INFERNO!

Aaand that was it? Damn, it’s like that was tailor made to be super easy. Anyway, onto the next one...

Alright let’s see, male Weedle, male Caterpie and... Kakuna (please be male)

...

WOOO it’s male *flambé*

That’s right, keep lining them up for me you damn Bug Catchers! It would be hilarious if they ALL had male only Pokemon now wouldn’t it?

Next Bug catcher, and another TWO male Caterpie! It’s like this place was tailor made for Charming or something! Only two more Bug Catchers to go... think the male streak will last? (wait, did I just use the phrase “male streak”? Fuuuuuuck)

Onto the next one... male Metapod, male Caterpie, male Metapod. Wait what? Seriously, what? How come NONE of them have female Pokemon? Is Viridian forest some sort of all boys club or something?

Anyway METAL CLAW GET! And thank goodness for that, otherwise Brock would be nigh-impossible with nothing but Charming and a Pikachu at my disposal.

Alright, final Bug Catch and he has... One male Weedle! Ok, it’s official something freaky is up here. These Bug Catchers have some sort of boys only pact that even extends to their Pokemon. I can’t explain it, but that just seems creepy somehow.

Well the good news is that that’s pretty much all of Viridian Forest taken care of. The bad news is I haven’t run into a Pikachu yet. Ah well, I’ll just keep trying. I mean, how long could it take?

Woooo Pikachu! It’s female but I don’t give a shit, it only took 10 minutes to find this one and I don’t want to risk the next one taking an hour. Only question... How the hell do I weaken it enough to catch a lv 3 Pikachu with a lv 14 Charmander? Well first I guess I’ll just toss a Pokeball without attacking, see if that works, and if that fails I’ll try a metal claw since Pikachu resists it. I bet it’ll still KO though with my luck...
*tosses first pokeball, fails*
*Pikachu uses Growl*
Hang on, Growl! That’s how I’ll do it! I’ll let it lower my attack a few stages, THEN hit it into capture range! I just have to hope to god I don’t get a crit!
*several turns later*
GODDAMIT STOP USING THUNDERSHOCK AND GROWL ME. It’s like this damn thing can read my mind!
*couple growls and a paralyzed Charmander later*
FINALLY I can attack it.
*Metal claw does pitiful damage*
Ok I let it get my attack too low. Scratch it is then.
*Scratch*
Almost there... one more metal claw.
*Pikachu growls again*
Ok, two metal claws.
*CRITICAL HIT*
MOTHER FUCKER
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, trip to the Pokemon center then I try this again. I guess. T.T

*20 minutes later*
FINALLY another Pikachu, and this one is male! I will catch you this time, damn it! I’ll save you having to read the whole battle again and just give the results...

So? What yah think is going to happen? Will I KO another Pikachu and end up spending another half hour searching for another one? Or do I actually catch it this time? Or do I manage to fuck up so badly that Charming faints and I’m forced to reset? Find out...

NOW! I actually manage to catch the sonuvvabitch! Woooooo! Welcome to the team Shenron! Now to grind it up to an acceptable level, as at lv 3 it isn’t going to be able to help much.

Wait a second, Impish nature? God damn it, it couldn’t have been much worse >.<. Well I’m not going to try to catch another, not after how much shit I went through to get this rat.
*Many Pidgey, Rattata and Weedle later*

All right! I’m all set for Brock now then. First though, Pewter city needs some proper exploration!

Random Jerkwad: Have you checked out the Museum yet? Yes? WHO CARES I MUST SHOW YOU ANYWAY *grabs arm and drags to stupid museum*

Random Jerkwad #2: OH HAI YOU WALKED BY ME SO I’M GOING TO DRAG YOU TO THE GYM! I’M THE LEAST CREATIVE BROKEN BRIDGE EVAR DON’T YOU LOVE ME?

Seriously, why does your character let these nitwits drag you off places? If it were me, both these twits would be smoking piles of ashes first time they tried to grab my arm... Self defence! I swear!

Anyway, time to fight Brock! First to wipe the floor with his crony though...
*does so*
Alright, now onto Brock! Wait you were expecting some sort of light-year joke? Seriously people that’s been done to death by now :P

... Wow Brock made a lot of puns on Rock type. I won’t copy them here, for your own sanity.

First up, Geodude!
Actually,I don’t need to say anything about this battle. This Super Effective comic sums it right up
http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=33
Next up is Onix!
Alright, wow Metal Claw did not do as much I had hoped. Well just gotta keep trying-
*Rock Tomb*
Jeeze there goes most of my health I hope I’m still faster
*is not faster*
Shit
*Charming faints*
DOUBLE SHIT
Ok Shenron... good luck >.<
*Quick attack does god shit all*
*Rock Tomb does half health*
.....
Well shit.
*Shenron faints*

Alright... round 2 anyone?

This time Geodude goes down same as before, then I bring in Shenron to Tail Whip Onix as many times as possible, then I bring out Charming to finish. Surely this will work.

I’ll just skip right to Onix here as Geodude is a total pushover.
Alright Shenron, shake your booty!

Wow actually getting a lot of them in thanks to Rock Tomb’s piss poor accuracy. Just keep going until you get your head caved in by rocks Shenron! It’s for the greater good!
Alright, I think I got 3 Tail Whips in! Now show this rock snake who’s boss Charming!
*Metal claw does over half heath*
BOOYAH
*Rock Tomb brings Charming to 9HP and lowers his speed*
Not so Booyah.
Alright, guess I’ll have to splurge on a few potions...
*All 4 of my potions later*
WHY THE HELL WON’T ROCK TOMB MISS ANYMORE
*finally misses*
Oh thank god, as long as Onix doesn’t crit and Metal Claw doesn’t miss I got this.
*Onix misses again*
*Onix gets raped*
WooooOOOOooOOOOoo finally!
Though I should mention this is the only time I have ever lost to Brock. Ever. Fucking Rock Tomb...

*Charming is evolving!*
=( I wish I could let you evolve, but Bulbous has to Solo Misty first... so sorry my friend.

Anyway, onto Mt. Moon now! Errrr gotta buy some more potions first though. But in any case, Chapter finished!

NEW FEATURE! END CHAPTER STATUS!

Badges: 1
Pokemon: 2
Blackouts: 1 (Damn you Onix)

Charming the Charmander:

Level 16
Ember
Metal Claw
Scratch
Growl

Shenron the Pikachu:

Level 12
Thundershock
Thunder Wave
Quick Attack
Tail Whip

Alright, bought myself some potions. Now on to Route 3!

Eggheaded Scientist dude: “Hi! Here’s these super hi-tech new product, RUNNING SHOES >:O. They let you do something known as RUNNING. So amazing isn’t it?”

Wait what? Why couldn’t I run before I got some damn shoes? Are the shoes I’m wearing now flip flops or something? Ah whatever, a welcome upgrade since you walk slower than a paralyzed Shuckle without them.

Alright, just gotta plow through some weak ass trainers on the way to Mt. Moon, not much to say about this part...

Youngster: “HI I LIKE SHORTS :D they’re comfortable and easy to wear, and they make my crotch area all tingly with excitement.”

Alright I made that second part up, but seriously this kid has a total short fetish, I swear.

*several minutes and many trainers later*

Jeeze, why is there such a huge concentration of trainers in one tiny section of a route anyway? Some sort of newbie convention or something? Seriously, there are 8 trainers in an area ¼ the size of Viridian Forest. What gives?

*starts battle with last trainer on route, a Lass with a Jigglypuff*
Hrm, same level as my Shenron. I should be able to beat it though :D
*Tail whips and Quick Attacks*
*Stupid puffball infatuates Shenron through Cute Charm*
... Forgot about that, should’ve stuck with Thundershock...
*Stupid puffball gets a critical hit*
NOOOOO
*Shenron faints*
Really? -.- well that’s goddamn annoying.
*Charming finishes off stupid Jigglypuff*

Alright, that’s annoying. Finally reached the Pokemon Center at the end of the route. Now I can get ready for Mt. Moon. That’s going to be interesting to do with just Charming and Shenron >.<

Suspicious Bald Man: “Hey, want to buy a super-special awesome Pokémon? Only 500 Pokedollars :D”
Hrmm let me think about it... NO! GET AWAY BEFORE CHARMING ROASTS YOU, YOU SLEASY CONMAN!

Alright, into Mt. Moon we go! Time to get annoyed to kingdom come by Zubat and Geodude! Yay!

*slowly works his way through the trainers, collecting items while going back to the PokeCenter very frequently. Stupid frail Shenron*

Time to head to one of the side rooms and fight my first rocket grunt!

Let’s see how he fares. Charming wrecks his Sandshrew, Shenron 2HKO’s hit Rattata, and I’m forced to switch back to Charming for Zubat b/c of Shenron’s restriction but who gives a shit, it gets raped too.

Big bad gangsters eh? Not very impressive I say.

Anyway, onwards! There are many more items to collect and opponents to defeat!
... geeze, I won’t be needing to train these two at all at this rate once I get to Cerulean. They’re getting so damn high level already. Currently lv 18 and 16.

Bug Catcher: “You need to go through this cave to reach Cerulean City”
Yeah thanks captian obvious... wait a second... why is that? You’d think they’d have better methods to connect cities than dangerous Pokemon infested tunnels. The Pokemon world just doesn’t make sense :S

Well, I keep on proceeding through the cave... not to the main part of the second floor yet. All the trips I have to make back to the Pokemon center is really slowing me down...

And it’s really damn annoying having to stop Charming’s evolution every time he levels up >.< I can’t wait until I get Bulbous and evolve him...

*finally gets through to fossils* HELL YES good stuff. Just got to fight this Super Nerd and then get the hell out of here!

Hang on, I just realized this guy found both the fossils first, and then you battle him, and take one of the fossils. Does that make me a theif...?

Well anyway, pwned him easily. I’ll grab the Dome fossil just because. I mean, really, there’s not much difference since I can’t use either of them anyway, and I already have access to as many of both fossils as I could ever want on my Pearl version so =/. This is about the least important fossil choice I’ve ever needed to make lol.

So, now just to make a bee-line to Cerulean city! I’d say that this is Chapter complete, how ‘bout you?

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Badges: 1
Pokemon: 2
Blackouts: 1 (and NEVER AGAIN >:O)

Charming the Charmander:

Level 20
Ember
Metal Claw
Scratch
Smokescreen

Shenron the Pikachu:

Level 19
Thundershock
Double Team
Quick Attack
Tail Whip

Alright, first job is to explore Cerulean a bit! Let’s see if the locals are just as stupid here as they were in our last few towns eh?

Every damn person in the city: “Have you heard about Bill? Bill is cool! Bill is wierd! Bill! BILL! BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL”

Good god O.O what the hell is wrong with these people and why are they all obsessed with Bill? Knowing Bill’s crazy ass experiments he’s probably a super villain using a mind control ray
over the whole town, utilizing Abra or something.

Lol that stupid girl with her Slowbro. Slowbro can’t use Sonic Boom you dumbass :D. Seriously, how the hell would that work? Slowbro is about as likely to break the sound barrier as a Shuckle mired in molasses.

Police force is concerned about the break in that house... cmon people, what about the resident super villain you have up on route 25? I mean Team Rocket is hardly worth your trouble, you can sweep them with freaking Rattata...

Alright, I have to be careful not to go near the bridge until I’m ready to fight Derp... so I should go catch Ball on Route 4 first and then train him up to lv 15 or something. Looks like I’m in for some serious grinding...

Alright, first Pokemon I run into is a male Sandshrew, and catching it was easy! Only problem is it was lv 6, lowest level on the route. This is going to be fuuuun >.>

.... Quiet nature. Fuck it, no one said it had to be the first Sandshrew I caught >.>

*Quietly shanks Ball, hides his body in the forest and walks away furtively.*

YOU ALL SAW NOTHING!

*Searches for more Sandshrew*

Alright, lv 10 sandshrew, this should be better... Quirky, well no boosts is better than drops in the wrong stat. Time to grind! I might as well use Defense curl against all the Pokemon on route 4, that’ll get me 3 towards the 15 I need to evolve.

*a lot of Sandshrew, Rattata and Spearow later*

OH wow there’s Mankey here too! I did not know that! Well, 1 more added to the Defense Curl tally!

*a lot of Sandshrew, Rattata, Spearow and MANKEY later*

Level 17 and Poison Sting learned! Ball should be fully capable now of actually fighting, especially since Poison Sting works great with Defense Curl and Sand Attack.

Time to fight Derp! I’ll have him herp derpin’ all the way home I will!
First out comes Pidgeotto, so I lead with Shenron to wipe it out easy!
*Thundershock hits for about 40%*
*sand attack lowers Shenron’s Accuracy*
Well that could be an issue :S hopefully I don’t miss
*Pidgeottos quick attack does about 30%, Thundershock gets it to red and paralyzes it*
Alright, now to finish with Quick attack!
*Quick attack misses*
*Shenron is down to 16hp*
Crap. Ok one more time
*Pidgeotto faints*
Whew, that’s a relief. I just hope Shenron has enough left for Squirtle...
*Shenron learns Slam, forgets Tail whip*
There, that should help a bit.
Alright Ball, take out his Ratatta! Defense cur-
*rattata uses tail whip*
.... ok that strategy is out. Just scratch the bajeesus out of it.
*Rattata gets 3HKO’d*
Well that was easy enough... Squirtle is out next. Go Shenron!
Crap, water gun is a 2hKO and Thundershock is a 3hko... going to have to use a potion.
*Shenron gets 2HKO’d after potion*
CRAP well it’s on low health, Charming should be able to finish it with scratch...
*Squirtle falls before Charming's mighty claws*
Alright, just Abra left! Ball should be able to handle this and get another Defense Curl in!
*Abra uses teleport*
Lolololololol
*Ball obliterates the useless Abra*
Seriously man, it’s at lv 16, you should’ve evolved it to Kadabra by now XD. Derp shows his derpiness yet again!
Derp: “I feel sorry for you, always plodding behind me, take this Fame Checker”
=/ I’m the one who always kicks your ass. Anyway, thanks for the useless gadget.
.
.
.
Wait did he just call me a chatty gossip? You character never says anything but “yes” or “no” throughout the entire game! Oh the irony...

Alright, now just to muscle my way through nugget bridge, having Ball use Defense curl on a bunch of stuff, then catch Bulbus on route 24! Then gotta grind Bulbus up a bit, then onto Bills place. Got it all planned out I do!

Defense curling on Caterpie, one more evolutionary line down! Now Weedle as well, though I wish it’d stop poisoning me; I've had to use so many antidotes... And now Pidgey, 8 total now over half way there! Oddish too, but now I gotta switch out. Bellsprout too, crap I got wrapped. Luckily I outsped and 2HKO’d. Now I've curled in front of Ekans as well, but the Sandshew before it sand attacked me so many times, AND it wrapped me on the turn I Defense Curled. Things got kind of hairy, but thankfully I still had a potion left. Nidoran♂ and Nidoran♀ got defense curled on too. This Challange is easy! Just two more evolutionary lines!

And now to take out the Team Rocket grunt that offers you a membership in Team Rocket. It's kind of lame you don't even get the option to accept it, wouldn’t that be cool if you could? If only Nintendo wasn’t so insistent on you always being the good guy...

Anyway, curled on his Zubat so just one more line! I’m pretty sure there are some Hikers on route 25 so getting that last one will be easy.
And now I just found Attract. I guess Charming is losing Smokescreen eh?

Oh wow just found a typo in the game, this camper tells you he saw your “feat” in the grass lolololol.

Anyway, time to catch and train Bulbus :D. I just hope it doesn’t take too long to get to male one.

There we go, got one. Hardy nature, so that’s fine. Good, now I just got to level it up high enough to take out Misty.

First trainer on route 25 has a Machop :D requirements complete for Ball to evolve! That’ll be real soon, just two levels!

Alright, I should grind Bulbus up a few levels now before fighting the rest of the trainers on route 25...

*a little while later*
Sleep Powder, awesome that’ll be useful.
*a little bit later than that*
Man Vine Whip is a lame move, but my only other option at the moment is Bullet Seed which is no better >.<

*a little bit later*

Alright, time to fight some trainers now that Bulbus is lv 17.

Female Camper: “I wish my boyfriend was as good as you”
*Snerk* Ok girl, do you realize how bad that sounds out of context? I know you’re like 10 but bahahaha.

Male Camper: “Oh well, my girlfriend will cheer me up”
I’m sure she will, but you might want to make sure she isn’t cheering anyone else up if you know what I mean *wink wink nudge nudge*

Alright, now all my Pokemon are level 20+, I could take on Misty right now if I still didn’t have to get to Bill’s first.

Geeze this area is another one where trainers are packed together like sardines. I guess they didn’t have much space for expansive areas in the earlier games so they had to make smaller routes with more trainers?

Alright, time to visit bill, the Clefairy look-a-like.
Bill: “Hiya! I’m a Pokemon... ... No I’m not!”
If you’re not a Pokemon then WHY DID YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF AS A POKEMON YOU NUT-JOB?

Anyway, yeah I’ll get you back to normal mister super villan, just gimme a second... (hmm I wonder if this button will cause everything to go kaput, maybe taking him out? PRESS!)

Awww crap that button was what he wanted me to press. At least he gave me a ticket to the SS Anne as a consolation prize for my failure to end his reign of terror over Cerulean.

In any case, it’s time to take Misty and her lackeys on!

Or I have to solve the Team Rocket crime first because the police in this game are totally useless. Whatever, this won’t take long.
*couple minutes later*
Goddamnit that grunt’s Drowsee was annoying. Almost got it with Ball then I get haxed by Confusion, getting confused and hurting myself >.> forcing me to switch. I also had to stop Bulbus from evolving, need to solo Misty first. Got Dig as well, which I’ll teach to Ball now. Finally he has STAB.

Alright, NOW into the gym. First lets obliterate her lackeys... Shenron should make short work of them.
*3 well fried fish later*
Yup, I was right.
Alright Misty get ready because you’re about to get whipped! Get it, because Bulbus uses Vine Whip? Hahahaha... oh god I’m so un-funny.

Alright, first up is her Staryu. I got a good plan here... sleep it, use Growth a couple times, then destroy everything with Vine whip. Should work!
*Staryu used harden*
Lolololol I’m special based you fail
*uses growth 4 times on a sleeping Staryu*
That should be plenty, time to rape!
*Staryu gets whipped across the room, through the wall and out into the night. They never did find its body*
Ok Starmie, let’s see if you can take a +4 vine whip at all eh? I’m thinking NOT.
*Starmie follows Staryu through the wall*
Well, that is probably the only time Misty has ever been easier for me than Brock. Hurray Bublus! And as an added bonus, you get to evolve right after the battle! It’s nice when a plan comes together.

And now when Charming levels up he can finally evolve too. Things are looking good!

Well I’d say this is a good time to end the chapter, how about you?

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Badges: 2
Pokemon: 4
Blackouts: 1 (and let's see if I can keep it at this number)

Charming the Charmander:

Level 21
Ember
Metal Claw
Scratch
Attract

Shenron the Pikachu:

Level 21
Thundershock
Double Team
Quick Attack
Slam

Ball the Sandshrew:

Level 20
Scratch
Defense Curl
Sand-Attack
Dig

Bulbus the Weepinbell:

Level 22
Vine Whip (bleh, can’t get anything better until lv 42 or after Erika, and Giga Drain has only 5PP)
Growth
Stun Spore
Sleep Powder

Alright, time to head for Vermillion city! On the way I should be able to evolve both Charming and Ball if all goes to plan.

Hmmm there should be a bunch of hidden items along the underground path, I’m going to take some time looking for them... it’d be easier with the Itemfinder... OH CRAP I haven’t been catching any Pokemon except the ones I need and you need Pokedex entries to get good items in this game! Looks like I’m going to be doing some back-tracking, as I only have 6 full entries in my Pokedex right now.

In any case, I’ve found most of the items down there, or so I think, so I’m going to head out to Route 6... after I go buy some more Pokeballs. At least catching Pokemon should be a breeze with Bulbus. I guess I should catch what’s available on the routes I currently have access to as well.
*runs around route 4 and catches a Spearow, but for some reason can’t run into any damn Mankey*
Gah! This is getting frustrating. I ran into plenty of them when I was training, why not now?
*Finally runs into one*
GODDAMIT VITAL SPIRIT. I can’t sleep it! This thing isn’t going to be easy to catch is it... at least I still have Stun Spore.
*Catches it on first toss*
Thank lord... anyway, got more Pokes to catch on the other routes.
*Catches Pidgey, Abra, Metapod, Weedle, Caterpie and Meowth*
Alright that’s everything I can get at the moment. NOW onto route 6 I go.

Got some trainers to pwn!

Holy crap a lv 20 Squirtle, Ball can’t handle this. Go Shenron!
*Shenron makes himself some fried turtle meat for dinner*
I had forgotten just how damn powerful some of the trained Pokemon are down here. If I remember correctly there’s at least one more lv 20 Pokemon down here...

Ah yes, a lv 20 Butterfree. Hopefully this won’t be too hard. Going to get statused though I am >.<
*Indeed, gets Paralyzed and Sleeped. A few healing items later*

Alright, this trainer has nothing but Pidgey! Easy EXP and Ball should evolve after this battle!
*3 severely lacerated Pidgey later*
Yup Ball evolved into Sandslash! Bitchin! Now Charming needs to evolve.

*After narrowly defeating a lv 16 Raticate with Charming*
Alright, here we are! Vermillion city! Time to heal up and then explore and find out how stupid the people are here (I’m betting pretty stupid).

Sweet, a girl in the Pokemon Center is handing out presumably expensive gadgets (Vs. Seeker) to random trainers! If only shit worked like that in real life. Phr33 iPad pl0x?

I apparently became friends with a fishing “guru” and he gave me the most hilariously inadequate fishing rod ever. I mean seriously, look at the picture for this shit:

It’s a glorified stick, is what that is. Might as well catch a Magicarp for the Pokedex I suppose.
*Does so*

Hrm, normally I don’t bother trading Spearow for Farfetch’d but I can use the Pokedex entry this time around. Ch’Ding the Farfetch’d is mine!
.... Weird ass name.

Oh boy, now for the fan club. It’ll be great to get that Bike, but it’s going to be silly listening to this guy prattle on about his Rapidash... He probably has intimate relations with all his Pokemon, if you know what I mean. Well, bike Voucher get! I’ll be cashing that in... right after I finish exploring the town.

Well there was nothing of interest, so I went and got my bike. I find it hilarious that this guy just gives out something worth 1 million Pokedollars for just listening to him talk about how he fucks his Rapidash. Presumably anyway, I didn’t really pay attention.

Damn the Bicycle is slow in this game.

Anyway, onto route 11 for bit! The trainers there will be good exp.

OH! And now Charming gets to evolve! Wooo! 3 of my 4 Pokemon have evolved now :D

Hrm, the Pokemon are getting stronger; there are several lv 21s on this route. Not that it’s proving much of an issue mind you.

Good god the Engineers makes some of the lamest electric type puns I’ve ever heard. “You’re a spark plug” doesn’t even fucking make SENSE!

Well that’s all the trainers, just got to catch a Drowsee and I’m done here.
*few minutes later*
Well that was annoying, apparently Drowsee have Insomnia. I hope that I don’t run into too many other Pokemon with sleep preventing abilities...

Ok, I think I’m going to go through Diglett’s Cave before I do anything else, so I can catch the Pokemon I missed. Won’t be enough to get the Itemfinder just yet, but it’ll get me a lot closer. I’ll also catch me a Diglett too of course!

*after catching diglet*
Lol lv 17 Diglett’s Magnitude 9 does only 30% to Bulbus. Weak shit.

.... forgot I can’t get through to Pewter City until I get cut, what a waste of time >.<

At least Bulbus got lv 24 and Acid, a slightly superior STAB to Vine Whip baring type advantages/disadvantages.

Alright, onto the S.S. Anne I go! By the time I get through here everyone should be level 24-25, so Surge should be easy.

Alright, time to muscle my way through all the trainers and get all the items.

Oooooooo Brick Break! That’ll probably come in use before long. Either Ball or Charming or eventually Wuzzle, deciding who gets it is going to be tough.

“Gentleman” Arthur: “How dare you barge in, insolent pup!”
Gentleman my ass, crotchety old fart is more like it.
Anyway, Ball got Slash in that battle :D awesome!

LOL the Growlithe another Gentleman was using roared my Rattata AND my Farfetch’d out. Looks like they’ll be getting some experience after all. Hell, the Rattata actually levelled up.

Sailor: “You know what they say about Sailors and battling”
Nope, but I presume it’s something along the lines of “They really, really suck at it”.

Well this is going really easily, since I just go back to the bed after almost every fight heh heh. It’s not cheating :D it’s just using available resources!

Got TM 44 (Rest) too, although don’t think I’ll be using that. Most of my Pokemon this challange aren’t what you’d call “bulky” at this point, except for Ball and that’s only on the physical side.

*after a few more trainers*
Ok, time for my Rival! I out-level ALL his Pokemon by at least 5 levels so... this isn’t going to be very hard lol.

Is it just me, or is your rival a lot more helpful and less snotty than it was in Red and Blue in this game...? I really don’t recall him being so nice in the past... I mean, he just tells you that he’s doing well, and then suggests ways you can do well too. That’s not so bad.

Anyway, Shenron utterly wastes Pidgeotto with Thundershock, his Raticate is destroyed by Ball’s Dig, Wartortle is smacked about by Bulbus, and his Kadabra is mashed by Charming’s Metal Claw. Seriously easy stuff.

And now on to the Captain to get Cut! I just gotta not look at his puke, don’t look at his puke (oh god I can smell it). Why am I rubbing his back and how does that cure seasickness good god. I know. He’s a pedophile who tricks kids into giving him back rubs by making himself sick. Or he’s just weird like that

Either way, he’s still a sick bastard (Ba-dum, tsh!)

Hang on, if he gets sea sick so easy how the hell does he captain a world class cruise liner?

Anyway, teaching Farfetch’d cut. Time to get off, and then go back through Diglet’s cave and get all the stuff I couldn’t get last time, along with all the Pokemon I’ve missed. Goodbye S.S. Anne!

Alright, back on route 2 now! First I get Flash, not that I’m going to use it... I’ll just navigate by guide book map, thanks. OH just realized I can trade Abra for Mr. Mime here, I should do that for the extra Pokedex entry. Mimien (odd but better than Ch’Ding) is mine!

Alright, now to catch a Kakuna in Viridian forest...
*almost a god freaking hour later*
OMG WTF WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRG
*runs off waving arms and making monkey sounds, leaving civilization to live in the jungle*
Ok maybe not really, but seriously, I ran into like 4 Pikachu before I ran into this thing. And THEN it was a pain to catch since shed skin kept curing sleep and I couldn’t weaken it since it was such a low level I’d KO it AND I used every last one of my 3 pokeballs and 2 great balls to catch it!

ALL FOR A FUCKING KAKUNA

You know, that jungle is looking pretty good right now...

Alright, time to catch a few other Pokemon...

*catches Nidoran♀, Jigglypuff, Zubat, Geodude, Paras*

Alright, now to try for a Clefairy... believe it or not, I’m more likely to run into one of them than I was that damn Kakuna >.<

*maybe 10 minutes later*
Yup, a lot easier. Now to catch the damn thing at full health with Pokeballs >.> Oh joy.
*6 Pokeballs later*
There we go. And that was still easier than Kakuna, since I didn’t have to put it to sleep almost every turn, leaving me only able to throw Pokeballs every 3rd turn or so. Let it be known to the world that catching Kakuna is harder than catching Clefairy.

Hmmm while I’m on the upper part of Route 4, I think I’ll teach Mega Punch to Charming in place of Scratch. It’ll be a lot more useful than that move, that’s for sure.

Darn I still need 2 more entries to get the Itemfinder... well I got a plan. First step: Trade Nidoran♀ for Nidoran♂ on Route 5. Step 2: Catch a higher level Caterpie/Weedle/Metapod/Kakuna and evolve it using rare candy. Step 3: ???? Step 4: Profit!

Alright, both those done, so it’s time to pick up my Itemfinder!

Now for Lt. Surge and his lackeys! I just got my challange for Shenron changed so I no longer have to solo 4 gym leaders, but instead 50 electric type pokemon. Good opportunity to get some headway into that against Surge and his Lackeys!

I wonder just how much power he’s sucking from the city to power that electric force field of his. I bet when it gets switched on all the lights in Vermillion dim.

Shenron is more than a match for these other Electrics, bar Magnemite. And it levelled up to level 26, and got Thunderbolt! Booyah! Shenron suddenly got a lot more useful! Shame I can’t use him on ALL the electrics in the gym because of his low endurance restriction... basically it amounts to 1 Pokemon per a trainer for the most part.

Alright, let’s find these switches and annihilate Lt. Surge shall we?

*a few seconds later*

I find it strange he mentions war in a Pokemon game... just imagine how Pokemon would change war. Actually, I don’t want to. It sounds terrifying. Dying by fire is a terrible death... with so many Pokemon capable of attacking with massive, intense flames... *shudder*

The strategy for this battle is simple... Spam Dig with Ball. Easy as hell, in theory anyway.
*Voltorb gets OHKO’d by dig*
Pikachu now...
*Pikachu uses Double team*
Well that’s annoying hopefully dig still hi-
*Dig misses*
Well cmon, that’s like a 1/5 shot or something after only 1 double team. Now it’s just going to keep on doing it...
*after 1 more dig miss, slash hits, OHKOs*
Alright, that ended up being less annoying than I feared. Now for Raichu *shudder*
Digging time!
*Raichu uses double team*
Oh no you don’t
*Dig hits anyway! OHKO!*
Wahahaha well that was easy. I barely took any damage at all!

Well I think that just about concludes this chapter! Next chapter, I navigate Rock Tunnel and make my way to Celadon City!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Badges: 3
Pokemon: 4
Blackouts: 1 (YOU SAW NOTHING)

Charming the Charmeleon:

Level 25
Ember
Metal Claw
Mega Punch
Attract

Shenron the Pikachu:

Level 26
Thunderbolt
Double Team
Quick Attack
Slam
Electric Solo tally: 3

Ball the Sandslash:

Level 26
Slash
Defense Curl
Sand-Attack
Dig

Bulbus the Weepinbell:

Level 25
Vine Whip
Growth
Stun Spore
Sleep Powder