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CAP 15 CAP 4 - Part 14 - Dex Submissions

Discussion in 'CAP Process Archive' started by bugmaniacbob, Nov 11, 2012.

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  1. bugmaniacbob

    bugmaniacbob Floats like a Butterfree, stings like a Metapod
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    Ok so it's unbearable dullness time

    My power is fading and I must preside over this... hoo-bloody-ray.

    Some TL edicts:

    Height: 2.1m / 6'11"
    Weight: 193.0 kg / 425.5 lbs
    Gender Ratio: 50% Male / 50% Female
    Hidden Ability: Illusion

    Interestingly, all BW CAPs thus far have been resistant or immune to both of Low Kick and Grass Knot. Why do we hate these moves so much?

    Anyway, as much as I'd love to explain my reasoning, I can't be bothered to.

    Oh alright fine then.

    Height is above average for a pseudo-legend - less than Dragonite, but more than Tyranitar and Garchomp. Which is jolly fitting.

    Weight makes so little difference to anything but... I went with 199 kg, which is about the same as Ho-Oh. Yeah I know what you're thinking, but just let me explain. I envisage the body being pretty feather-light, but the wings being heavy - they are, after all, made of gold. Thus, I did the following: First, I modelled the wings as being gold bars of 100 x 20 x 5 cm, which gives a volume of 10,000 cm^3. Assuming that they are pure, 24 karat gold Au (which has a density of 19.3g/cm^3), they should have a rough mass of about 193,000g, or 193 kg.

    After that, you can make a guess at the fluffy body mass. I decided to make it a nice round number, but I kept it to 6 kg, so the overall mass was under 200, and thus that Grass Knot and Low Kick had 20 less BP (small, I know, but who cares) and to annoy people using Heavy Balls. Actually, scratch that. I'll leave it as 193 kg as a little easter egg for the people who know about the density of gold - which I think adds a bit of a nicer touch than the rather arbitrary addition for body mass.

    Everybody believes in gender equality, so 50%/50% there.

    Also Illusion is the Hidden Ability because let's face it it makes the least sense out of any of the abilities on Aurumoth and I really didn't want to spend time thinking about it too hard

    Anyway, Dex Entry time!

    And thankfully some kind soul bothered to update the Dex Entry Submission guidelines so that we could all know what we should be aiming for. I really should remember to thank that person. Wish I could remember his name...

    The following rules must be adhered to by all submissions:

    • Pokedex entries are 1-3 short, simple sentences.
    • Pokedex entries must be submitted as a Final Submission to be considered in the poll. You should make this absolutely clear so that the Topic Leader knows that it is your Final Submission.
    • Provide a Pokedex entry for Pokemon Black, Pokemon White, and a combined entry for Pokemon Black 2 and Pokemon White 2. This means that you need to submit three Pokedex entries, not just one. Usually, the Black and White entries complement the ideas of the other, but address different sides of the same coin, while the combined third entry combines the two ideas in some fashion. Check some in-game BW Pokedex entries for examples.
    • You may ask for advice, but bumping of any kind is not allowed. If people don't comment on your Pokedex entry, let the silence be your advice. You can revise it and repost it, but please don't ask for help in the thread.
    • Keep entries in good taste. If it happens on Animal Planet or in National Geographic it's fair game, but gratuitously violent or excessively disgusting entries will be warned and deleted.
    • One submission per user.

    Example Submission: Serperior

    Serperior, the Regal Pokemon
    Black: It can stop its opponents' movements with just a glare. It takes in solar energy and boosts it internally.
    White: They raise their heads to intimidate opponents, but only give it their all when fighting a powerful opponent.
    Black 2 / White 2: It only gives its all fighting against strong opponents who are not fazed by the glare from Serperior's noble eyes.


    -------

    Below is CAP 4 so far:

    Name: Aurumoth

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Typing: [​IMG] / [​IMG]
    Abilities: Weak Armour / Illusion (DW) / No Guard
    Base Stats: 110 HP / 120 Atk / 99 Def / 117 SpA / 60 SpD / 94 Spe
    Movepool:
    Height: 2.1m / 6'11"
    Weight: 193.0 kg / 425.5 lbs
    Gender Ratio: 50% Male / 50% Female
    Experience Growth: 1,250,000 EXP (Slow)
    Base Happiness: 35
    Effort Value Yield: 1 HP, 1 Attack, 1 Special Attack
    Capture Rate: 45
    Base Egg Steps: 10,240
  2. bugmaniacbob

    bugmaniacbob Floats like a Butterfree, stings like a Metapod
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    First things first.

    [​IMG]

    I don't expect you all to identify, but I do feel it's necessary to remember.

    (minute's silence)

    Anyway, now for something fun! you guys are going to hate me for this aren't you

    Yes, that's right! This is going to be a themed Dex Entries Submission contest! What does it mean? What does it entail? Well, you lucky lucky people, you're about to find out!

    ...

    Yeah so I'm tired of the same old dull-as-ditchwater, very occasionally morbid dex entries that perpetually seem to be cropping up. So, I'm going to be asking for Dex Entries that are a lot more in line with what I consider to be "proper" Dex Entries - namely, those with humour as their main modus operandi. So, that's your challenge - make me laugh with these Dex entries! And I can assure you, as someone with no sense of humour at all, that will be no small feat. Only the very best of the best will be slated - so I'd advise you to oil that funny bone and sharpen that dry, witty tongue of yours.

    Here are some things that I'll be looking for: First, you should try to be witty within reason, but not go for all-out zany madcap humour.

    If possible, dark humour is best for Black entries, while lighthearted humour or puns are better for White entries. Black 2 / White 2 can be whatever the heck you want them to be.

    Have at it!

    -----

    BMB's obligatory Topic Leader footnote gimmick - My Top 15 Arthropods

    #1 The Praying Mantis

    [​IMG]

  3. fryfrey

    fryfrey

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    FINAL SUBMISSION

    Aurumoth, The Fortune Moth Pokemon

    Black: If an Aurumoth allows you to harvest some of the gold from it's wings, that gold is considered to bring great fortune and luck to whoever possesses it.

    White: They are also called “Dowsing Flies” due to their tendency to gather above where precious metals and gems are buried. However, they are known to gather above gold and silver more than other valuables.

    B2/W2: Even in situations that that require an utmost amount of attention, they are known to spontaneously stop, and stare at the night sky, as if searching longingly for something long ago lost.
    --------------------
    I'm finally happy with my submissions! :D

    The first two entries go well with the "Fortune Moth" name, and the B2/W2 entry adds just the right amount of mysteriousness.
  4. Quanyails

    Quanyails
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    Edited my entries. I'll be fiddling with humor more.

    Aurumoth, the Radiant Moth Pokémon

    Black
    : Their poor eyesight forces them to feel around with their six wings to get a sense of location. In ancient times, people copied this action as a dancing ritual.

    White: Its abdomen glows with a blinding light, and for this reason, trainers' Aurumoth are typically cast as spotlights for performances.

    Black 2/White 2: Its wings have consistencies like baguettes and taste like pistachios. An Aurumoth with only five wings had given a wing away to feed a famished soul.

    Old entry
    : It can navigate any environment regardless of its luminosity. At night, they frequently float into the side of sand dunes.
  5. Deck Knight

    Deck Knight DK! DK! Donkey Kong is here!
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    Gonna take my crack at it. Going a bit dark here.

    - - - - -

    Aurumoth, The Seraph Pokemon

    Black: Alchemists began poaching it after discovering it leaves a fine trail of gold powder behind it after it fights a fierce battle. It does not like humans as a result.

    White: It can sense the feelings of humans, and is known to leave a trail of fine gold dust over the few it deems worthy of aid.

    Black 2 / White 2: In ancient societies, Aurumoth gold dust and Skarmory feathers were used to fund and wage war.
  6. UllarWarlord

    UllarWarlord

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    Let's give it a shot...

    Aurumoth, the Fallen Angel Pokemon

    Black: This Pokemon was rumored to once have serviced in the heavens, but was rejected for its imperfections.

    White: It likes to keep itself clean however possible. Nobody is quite sure why, though the answer might lie in its days of serving the heavens.

    B2W2: Aurumoth constantly attempts to redeem itself for imagined wrongdoings, doing good deeds wherever and however it can.

    I like the 'angelic' theme people thought of for this, as well as that direction with Korski's movepool. So I tried to go along with that.
  7. Verminator

    Verminator

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    Okay, let's take a crack at this. I actually enjoy reading dex entries so I might as well have a shot at writing some.

    Aurumoth, the Mystic Moth Pokémon

    Black: A solitary Pokémon that disguises itself by bending light with its reflective shell. It is provoked to fury if the shell is scratched or cracked.

    White: In battle it can use its mighty powers of thought to calculate the trajectory of its attacks. This uses so much brainpower it loses the ability to defend itself.

    Black 2 / White 2: It sometimes disguises itself as fierce legendary Pokémon to repel people, much to the chagrin of trainers who end up capturing it.

    EDIT: Made edits to the B/W entries, so that they match all of its abilities a little better.
  8. RabidChipmunk

    RabidChipmunk

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    Why not, I'mma give this a go.

    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black: It has the ability to manipulate light. It can use this ability to disguise itself in order to ambush prey, or to unleash a bright flash to escape from danger.

    White: It reinforces the fragile gold in its wings with other, harder metals, though some Aurumoth prefer to keep their wings pure.

    B2W2: It's golden wings have made it the source of many myths and legends. The discovery of Aurumoth is said to have formed the foundations of Alchemy.

    The Black Pokedex entry explains it's ability Illusion, while the White Pokedex entry explains its ability Weak Armour. The B2W2 Pokedex entry simply provides it with more backstory, as well as hammering home the "HEY, IT'S WINGS ARE MADE OF FREAKIN' GOLD" idea.

    What do you think? Too wordy?
  9. Nyktos

    Nyktos Custom Loser Title

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    "Seraphim" is plural; the singular is "seraph".
  10. Korski

    Korski Distilled, 80 proof
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    Aurumoth, the Celestial Pokemon

    Black: Their wings are made of heavy gold. Mysteriously, the gold crumbles into dust when removed, and poachers have learned to ignore them over time.

    White: This Pokemon is very difficult to train, and so most trainers release captured Aurumoth back into the wild. Rumors that they can psychically compel their trainers to release them have not been confirmed.

    B2W2: For unknown reasons, this Pokemon is capable of hibernating for centuries at a time, encased in its golden wings. Past civilizations have mistaken them for mythological statues, often giving them religious significance.

    --------------------

    For some reason I decided to take the "angel on earth" idea and turned it into a narrative about how Aurumoth doesn't like to bother itself with humans or their petty wants or battles or anything like that. And so, there are a lot of things that "mysteriously" happen or are "unknown," and people's knowledge of Aurumoth is based on "rumors." One the one side, the Black entry is about how Aurumoth has little value to profiteers, getting into the Weak Armor business in the process. On the other side, the White entry is about how Aurumoth has little value to trainers too, referencing its Psychic powers in a self-aware sort of way. The B2W2 entry is similar to the first two and gets into the Illusion idea a little. It also brings the first two together by noting that Aurumoth spend hundreds of years essentially hiding from humanity. Aurumoth's internal clock runs on a much larger scale than humans, and so humans' cares seem much smaller and insignificant to Aurumoth.

    In terms of the connection to religion, the Black entry could be interpreted as humans creating a "false idol" out of Aurumoth ("fools' gold", even), the White entry hits on elements of rumor-based "knowledge" (are Aurumoth actually difficult to train or is that just assumed because Aurumoth hypnotize their trainers?), and the B2W2 entry literally mentions people mistaking Aurumoth for religious symbols as the Aurumoth try their best to ignore them.

    EDIT: I really like UllarWarlord's theme of "Fallen Angel." It's pretty clever.
  11. Professor Shroomish

    Professor Shroomish

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Golden Wing Pokemon
    Black: It ambushes its prey by diving from high cliffs, armored by its tough, golden wings. This surprising technique often causes small, scared Pokemon to migrate away from its hunting grounds.
    White: Aurumoth's heavy, shining wings are made of pure gold. These wings can be used to cover Aurumoth's one weak spot, its fluffy thorax.
    Black 2 / White 2: Aurumoth use telekinetic powers to manipulate their golden wings. If a wing is knocked away by a strong attack, Aurumoth panics, attacking everything in sight until it is retrieved.
  12. zyrefredric

    zyrefredric

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    I'm not submitting anything, just dropping by to say I'm liking Verminator's submission so far. I like how the white and B2/W2 dex enties alludes to No Guard and Illusion, respectively. Maybe the black dex entry could be rewritten so that it could relate to Weak Armor? That way the three entries are based on Aurumoth's abilities. Never knew if there's precedence on that, but it's a nice touch.
  13. GRs Cousin

    GRs Cousin

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    I'm used to reading the entries for information, not a laugh. One usually doesn't go to a library instead of a concert if they wish to be entertained. If humor is going to be the strongest point of slating our entries, can we at least slate the other unfunny but still well written ones?

    -------------------

    Aurumoth
    , the Seraph Pokemon

    Black:
    Aurumoth are often portrayed in myths as assistants to the "Original One". They created shadows and illusions to communicate with their creator.
    White: The shape of Aurumoth's shadows as they fly in the sky is often mistaken for disembodied hands. They scare off others from their territory using this deceit.
    Black 2 / White 2: After millennia of not not requiring their abilities of fire to survive, Aurumoth adapted methods of flight using the aerodynamics of their husk-like wings.
    Extra: According to myth, Aurumoth were said to once be spirits of fire. Their powers of kindle were extinguished when the Original One finished creating the universe.

    Justification and etc.
    Show Hide
    I wanted to go for entries that involve major opposition in perspective. Black's entry looks at Aurumoth via the lore told about them, alluding to the fact that as Seraphs they could have very well been the helpers to Arceus itself. White's entry on the other hand looks at their celestial behavior in a more scientific manner. Additionally, the reference to being shaped like hands perfectly alludes to Arceus' myth of shaping the universe with its one thousand hands. Given how that thing has no hands let alone 1,000, I thought Aurumoth could easily fill in that gap that many have wondered since Arceus' unveilment.

    tl;dr, Black and White entries' perspectives are total opposites that work on a totally meta-level

    BW2's entry is more simplistic, as it explains why Aurumoth has Overheat and references the fact that Seraphs are supposed to be angels of fire. Two birds with one stone, basically. My extra entry is there if we decide we want to do four entries instead of just 3, as well as yet again acts as an opposite on the religious-scientific debate of Aurumoth's history. Again, it shows that only humans wrote about Aurumoth and that we don't fully comprehend it yet. That's a way to give character to a Pokemon, in my modest opinion.


    Anyway, critique is gladly appreciated. I won the last poll and I'd sure love winning the second one with the best possible dex for our celestial bug.
  14. bugmaniacbob

    bugmaniacbob Floats like a Butterfree, stings like a Metapod
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    Nope

    I think some of you are slightly missing the point of this exercise

    There is a particular style of dex entry that I'd like these to be modelled on - as I have already demonstrated - and one that has been neglected in CAP basically ever since we started taking this stage seriously. Go back and look at some of Syclant's Dex Entries, for example.

    So yes, I'd like to see something that makes me chuckle. More to the point, I'm ONLY slating things that make an effort to do that. You can provide information at the same time as amusement, remember. Just note that I'm not even remotely inclined to slate anything that has been posted thus far, with the exception of Quanyails', which is at least trying.
  15. Eagle4

    Eagle4

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    C'est Feedback Time.

    Show Hide

    Professor Shroomish - I feel calling it the Golden Wing Pokemon showcases the wings whilst detracting the main body of the pokemon. I'm not to keen on that intention, and so I'd stick with a word or two which sums up the whole of Aurumoth. I'm more than a little sceptical on your Black entry. It seems unnatural for a pokemon with the graceful prowess of Aurumoth to be diving. Gliding or floating is much better. Even then, though, I feel you should decide on a new description; this one seems a little odd and uncharacteristic for Aurumoth. The White entry seems too ordinary. Interesting descriptions means a chance of being slated! Your Black 2/ White 2 is the only description I have no problems with.

    Korski - Celestial implies space and stars, which I find unfitting for Aurumoth. Although I think the "mystery" aspect of your descriptions have the potential to become scapegoats, I'm alright with this idea for the moment. Your entries are good, but I feel you should add a "yet" before "been confirmed", to imply that it is being studied.

    RabidChipmunk - I love your descriptions the most so far, good job. The "Bright Flash" description has been used too many times before however. Try brainstorming for a more unique addition to the first part of the description.

    Verminator - Not too sure about these, I'm afraid. I think you're trying too hard to include the abilities. Either imply the abilities in a subtle way, or talk about Aurumoth's actions differently. The Black description makes it sound like a stroppy teenager, and the White description... is better. By the way, the second sentence on the White description should start with "Its" instead of "It".

    UllarWarlord - I like the unique twist you've taken to differentiate yourself from other descriptions. Nothing much else to say.

    Deck Night - Good so far, but you could include variety by describing other attributes of Aurumoth. I feel the Black entry is awkwardly worded, but I'm not sure how I can suggest to improve it.

    Quanyails - Eh, too much to do with light. I think you have a knack for descriptions though (Oh, you and your big, fancy words) and so I suggest taking a new direction when describing Aurumoth.

    fryfrey - Good, all-round descriptions. I particularly like the B2/W2 entry, although it does limit pre-evo art (If we decide to take that route).
  16. Mdevil

    Mdevil

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth
    , the Holy Aura pokemon.


    Black: A fully matured Aurumoth has no need to search for prey; the duty of providing food falls upon the lesser beings within the conclave.


    Holier than thou (inspired by paintseagull.) Also this hints at the idea of Aurumoth's residing in groups which posses a particular social hierarchy.


    White: Wild Aurumoth have been known to vibrate their wings at incredible rates, producing a melodic hum in praise of their master, Arceus.


    Only humorous in that it deifies Arceus; playing on the idea of angels singing hymns of praise to God.


    Black 2/White 2: When trainers discovered Aurumoth's wings were pure gold, inflation enveloped the region to a point where, for a time, one would beg to buy Magikarp for 500 Poké Dollars.


    I can't make the symbol for Poké Dollars on an iPad; work with me. Also, in case you didn't realise, this is poking fun at the Magikarp salesman.

    ____________________________________________________________________________________

    Edit 1: Format Fail.

    Edit 2: The species name warmed up to me.

    Edit 3: Changed the Black entry.

    Swapped the White and the Black 2/White 2 entries... and I suppose I'll finalize this now.
  17. Verminator

    Verminator

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    If you don't mind me saying, I'm not really a fan of the idea of dex entries being obvious, in-your-face jokes. Even obvious joke Pokémon such as Wobbuffet, Farfetch'd and Stunfisk don't have dex entries that come off as trying to be humorous. Subtle humour is fine by me, but out and out just having the dex entry be a joke just seems inappropriate if we're trying to maintain an air of authenticity, especially on a poke with pseudo-legendary stats and a menacing appearance.
  18. Espeon65

    Espeon65

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    Aurumoth, the Disguise Pokemon

    Black: Its wings are made of pure gold. If an Aurumoth is ever killed or a wing stolen, the crook will contract a mysterious disease with no known cure and die.

    White: It will only reveal itself to a kind-hearted trainer. Whenever a cruel trainer searches for one, it disguises itself as a weak pokemon, and in some cases shoots string at the trainer as if mocking them.

    B2/W2: Only kind-hearted trainers are ever able to train it. If a cruel trainer somehow captures it, it will never listen to, and usually escape from or hurt, their trainer.

    I hope you like them! I tried to make them funny, and I'm not really sure if I succeeded. I will most likely edit them all, including the species name.
  19. KoA

    KoA The very best...
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    Hmm... might as well give this a go, I'll see what I can pull off in the humor department.



    Aurumoth, the Judgement Pokemon

    Black: Good luck charms are made from their golden bodies. Though usually of great value, they will become dull and brittle when around negative influences.

    White: Aurumoth is said to be able to reveal anyone's true self. Pieces of their armor are often collected for charms, however sometimes Aurumoth wants these back.

    B2 W2: Charms made from their shells for good luck are said to reflect the nature of their owner. Whether a good or bad fortune is granted depends on how badly Aurumoth wants its shell back.
  20. gamer40000

    gamer40000

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    Aurumoth, the Glorified Moth Pokemon

    Black: In recent times, Aurumoth fell off its position of the most popular Pokemon because new trainers cannot stand raising it after it molts.

    White: Stories say that long ago, Aurumoth was so wanted that Poke Balls ran out of stock and young trainers had to use bottles to catch it. As a result, Aurumoth became known as "the first lanturn".

    Black 2/White 2: Aurumoth first came down from the skies as snowflakes. The first trainers to find it reported unusual noises, almost like words. After a while, all of the Aurumoth gave up trying and now mute.
  21. Professor Shroomish

    Professor Shroomish

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    gamer40000, Aurumoth is almost seven feet tall. I have no clue how young trainers could catch them in bottles.
  22. Eagle4

    Eagle4

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    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black: Its gold is often used to coat Magikarp caviar as a gourmet dish. Once eaten, many experience a sense of pure gratitude,
    and a sickly sweet aftertaste.

    White: Although scientists have yet to uncover its prominent attributes, it is rumoured to roam near bright lights, harshly headbutting them repeatedly.

    B2/W2: Its stinger changes colour in seemingly random patterns. For this reason, they are often used as Christmas decorations, providing spectacle and wonder.

    I'm pretty happy with these entries, although they are still subject to change. I feel my reasons are blatantly obvious:

    Gold wings equals gold leaf
    Moth equals attraction to lights (allegedly)
    Stinger is shaped like a christmas decoration.

    Feedback?
  23. SubwayJ

    SubwayJ

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    Aurumoth the Golden Moth pokemon

    Black:
    Because Aurumoth's wings are extremely heavy, it uses telepathic powers to keep them afloat. When Aurumoth loses concentration, the wings fall, sometimes harming innocent passers-by.

    White: Young Aurumoth are often seen trying to fly by flapping their solid gold wings. The wings are very heavy however; this causes the Aurumoth to flop around hopelessly.

    Black 2/White 2: An Aurumoth's tail produces light based on how healthy it is. An ill Aurumoth will only show a small glow whereas a healthy Aurumoth has the ability to blind whole cities.
    -----------------------------

    Okay, I wanted to keep my entries somewhat serious, but funny at the same time. So I put in what I would consider "serious dex format" and added a little bit of humor into it. I like these entries and I hope you do too. I may change either my white or black so they aren't both about the wings but IDK. Feedback please!

    An alternate Black entry (open)

    Because Aurumoth's wings are extremely heavy, it uses telepathic powers to keep them afloat. When Aurumoth loses concentration, the wings fall, sometimes harming innocent Delibird, who then sell the wings for huge profit.
  24. Rediamond

    Rediamond

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Justice Pokemon

    Black: Aurumoth hold a strong hatred of corruption and seek to expose liars whenever they can. Some say they can telepathically command a mob to overthrow a selfish king.
    White: This Pokemon has been pushed towards extinction due to habitat loss and long hunting seasons. Politicians have been slow to change these practices.
    B2/W2: In ancient times, Aurumoth sightings were viewed as a sign of the apocalypse. In contemporary times, their lights are often mistaken for spaceships. They have become the mascot of the History Channel.


    Completely unserious:

    Aurumoth, the Heavenly Pokemon
    It is a common misconception that their species name comes from a relationship with angels. It actually refers to the taste of ground Aurumoth shell served with mint sauce.
  25. Aurumoth, the Golden Pokemon

    Black: It disguises itself as a common Pokemon to avoid attention. Many trainers shoo away the very Pokemon they were hoping to catch.
    White: It manipulates light to hide its strength. There are reports of young trainers giving up their journeys after trying to catch disguised Aurumoth.
    B2/W2: Its heavy wings restrict its movements in battle. It is said that it sometimes encourages opponents to break the wings.

    Serious WIP here. I don't love having two entries about Illusion, but I haven't been able to choose one yet. The Black entry plays on everyone's habit of running away from random Rattata and such in the games (though I've had a lot of trouble with the wording of the second sentence), while the White entry shows what might happen to a new trainer that actually wants that Rattata.
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