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CAP 15 CAP 4 - Part 14 - Dex Submissions

Discussion in 'CAP Process Archive' started by bugmaniacbob, Nov 11, 2012.

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  1. paintseagull

    paintseagull pink wingull
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    Haha okay here's my attempt at humour...

    Aurumoth, the Holier-than-thou Pokemon

    Okay turns out that's too many characters

    Could change Judgmental to Holy or Judgment or something more normal


    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Judgmental Pokemon
    Black: Despite its great power, it is unpopular among trainers because of its fickle nature and enormous ego.
    White: It is revered for its gold-covered wings and angelic origins. The more admiration it receives, the more aloof it becomes.
    BW2: Its long life is spent without companionship. It judges other Pokemon without reservation.
  2. iamdanielcruces

    iamdanielcruces

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    @Eagle4: Thanks for your comment! :D
    English is not my native language, so I struggle sometimes to find the right phrasing...

    Regarding your submission, your Alternate is quite good, perhaps you should consider exchanging the BW2 entry for this one?
  3. Shadowhand

    Shadowhand

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    Aurumoth, Repentance Pokemon
    7'11"
    150 kg, 330.7 lbs
    50% male 50% female


    Black: Through a combination of mental and physical training, this pokemon can use its thick wings for both attacking and defending, though if too harsh of a blow is taken, the psychic connection to the wing will temporarily fade. It is said that insulting Arceus in its presence will send it into a rage.

    White: Using its surprisingly sturdy, golden, shield-like wings, this pokemon can assume a wide variety of defensive stances and can even use its abilities to disguise itself. If a kingdom was lucky enough to have one in ancient times, their theatrical productions were the best around.

    Black/White 2: This pokemon spends all of its time secluded in a mountain forest to atone for a past action. It uses its sharpened abilities to defeat and outwit any intruder that threatens its solitude.




    I tried to incorporate as many things tying it together as possible, such as including all of its abilities, the mixed offense of its stats, and in a way the “risk” theme with it being dangerous for the trainer to attempt catching it. The mountain forest seemed obvious, it’s bug type, so the forest is a little cliche, but oh well. The nature plays along with the heavenly part, as well as a mountain being towards the heavens. I tried to play the “fallen angel” sort of thing into it, with it voluntarily secluding itself to atone for a past sin, but still a work in progress due to its obvious latent aggression. I also noticed a pattern of white entries showcasing physical attributes, while black entries were about how it battles, so I included that.
    As for height, i want it to be a bit towering and omnipotent, so i made it about 6’8’’ at first, but then i realized i needed to add antennae height.
    For humor I had a little bit of trouble, with it being godly and such, but the thought of it going into a westboro baptist style rage whenever arceus is mentioned in vain amused me greatly, so I included it. Then because the seraphim originate from a more medieval time I wanted to include something there, and thought of how people would use it, were it captured. There is nothing more humorous than a religious extremist fallen angel reciting Shakespeare. Just try to think of something.
  4. bugmaniacbob

    bugmaniacbob Floats like a Butterfree, stings like a Metapod
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    I suppose I should post here in case people think I've disappeared or something

    "Post whatever the hell you feel like"

    I'm too tired and don't have the energy to fight with you guys over something so trivial. If you honestly care that much about this, I'm not proud enough to not climb down. Not saying I will but I don't care enough about this issue to say any more.

    Don't expect many updates after this. I have a lot of writing to do before this is over and a few favours to ask of the CAP mods. For now just assume that the second post doesn't exist. I don't want to end this CAP on a sour note, especially over something so utterly asinine.

    Just make sure you post the best damn dex entries on the planet, alright? Don't let me down.
  5. Birkal

    Birkal We have the technology.
    is a member of the Site Staffis an Artistis a Super Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a CAP Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributoris a Battle Server Admin Alumnus
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    Not a final submission, but just messing around with some ideas. Any feedback is appreciated!


    Aurumoth: The Silence Pokémon
    Height: 2.1m / 6'11"
    Weight: 199.0 kg / 438.7 lbs
    Gender Ratio: 50% Male / 50% Female​

    Pokédex Entries:

    BLACK: They float ominously through forests, silencing the world around them with their psychic powers.

    WHITE: Aurumoth protect the cocoons of Bug Pokémon from predators and forest fires, no matter what the cost.

    B2W2: It prefers to live in complete solitude. It will vanish into thin air if approached by a traveler.​


    I look at KoA's artwork, and I can't help but feel that there is something very powerful and foreboding about Aurumoth. I wanted to put a spin on things, so I added in the element of silence. Although the design does not scream silence, it certainly fits its overall feeling (much like Gothitelle fits the vibe of starry skies). If you need justifications... Cacturne uses the word "travelers" and a gagillion BW entries use "psychic powers," so no worries about those words being non-canon or something.

    I like to imagine that it acts as a sort of "guardian" for Bug-type Pokemon as they complete their metamorphosis. It has the ability to cancel sound, so I'd imagine that it makes sure the cocoons are hibernating in peace (no predators) and quiet (no sounds). Illusion is also worked into there with the idea that it will cast an illusion that it is gone. It gives a mystic vibe that many Psychic-type entries portray.

    I am not a huge fan of how much entries are relying on the gold idea. In my opinion, KoA's design looks very earth-like already, so I want to make sure that I'm not continuing the trend that it might be Rock-type or Ground-type. I tried to avoid using it in my dex entries. If you're looking for humor... "Silence is golden."

    ;)
  6. GRs Cousin

    GRs Cousin

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    Final Submission (in the scenario of lack of input)

    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black:
    Aurumoth are often portrayed in myths as assistants to the "Original One" during the creation of the universe. They made use of illusions to communicate with their master.
    White: The shape of Aurumoth's shadows are often mistaken for disembodied hands. They fly above their nesting grounds to scare off trespassers with this deceit.
    Black 2 / White 2: After millennia of not requiring their fire-based attacks, Aurumoth have adapted more assertive methods of combat involving using their wings as makeshift limbs.

    ------------------------

    Fixed a few grammar errors with my entry, changed chunks of the White and BW2 entries, and removed the extra entry altogether. Black entry had additional wording added to it so as to be more specific. White entry makes use of Illusion in a lesser sense, adding to the "enigma" of Dream World variants that get Illusion. The BW2 entry still references the fiery properties of Seraphs (giving note to Sunny Day, Will-o-Wisp, and Overheat), but additionally now justifies Weak Armor, Close Combat, Counter, and Feint in its movepool. Like I mentioned before, I really wanted to go for an ironic religious-scientific dual view of Aurumoth, writing the Black and White entries specifically so that one tries to justify the other. BW2's entry is a good grey area, being both an urban legend mixed with fact. I think I really got the most out of these, so I'll mark this as my Final Submission unless someone sees a good change I can make. Again, critique is appreciated.
  7. Eagle4

    Eagle4

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    Aurumoth, the Divine Pokemon

    Black: Its gold is often used to coat Magikarp caviar as a gourmet dish. Once eaten, many experience a sense of pure gratitude,
    and a sickly sweet aftertaste.

    White: Although scientists have yet to uncover its prominent attributes, it is rumoured to roam near bright lights, harshly headbutting them repeatedly.

    B2/W2: Researchers are keen to study the fluffy thorax of AURUMOTH. Many find the segment, only to realise they've stumbled upon a VENONAT.

    Alternate: Its stinger changes colour in seemingly random patterns. For this reason, they are often used as Christmas decorations, providing spectacle and wonder.

    I've switched the B2/W2 with a modified version of the previous alternate. I'm not sure if I like it.
  8. Nyktos

    Nyktos Custom Loser Title

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    Early draft.

    Aurumoth, the Guardian Pokemon
    Black: They defend the forests from trespassers. Those who incur their wrath don't see them until it's too late to escape.
    White: They usually remain hidden in the forest, but sometimes appear to worthy souls to grant wishes.
    Black/White 2: Their exoskeletons are easily broken and they have difficulty avoiding attacks, so they prefer to remain camouflaged until they are needed.

    All three focus on them being rarely seen, which fits with (a) Illusion and (b) a low encounter rate, which seems fitting. (In fact if it's a pseudo-legendary precedent suggests they are never seen in the wild, only their prevos.) I worked both No Guard and Weak Armor into the BW2 one but it feels a little forced.

    The idea that the Black and White entries would mirror each other by one talking about it attacking unsuspecting tresspassers and one it appearing to grant wishes was something I came up with a while ago as I was pondering out flavour for my movepool. The Black one made more sense with my movepool where it learned Sucker Punch by level-up, but eh.
  9. fryfrey

    fryfrey

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    Eagle4: I find your entries to be a bit too nonsensical. Maybe word them differently to make it sound more coherent. Very creative though. :)
  10. Shadowhand

    Shadowhand

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, Repentance Pokemon

    Black: Through a combination of mental and physical training, this pokemon can use its thick wings for both attacking and defending, though if too harsh of a blow is taken, the psychic connection to the wing will temporarily fade. It harbors a deep-seated wrath that it seeks to control.

    White: Using its surprisingly sturdy, golden, shield-like wings, this pokemon can assume a wide variety of defensive stances and can even use its abilities to disguise itself. It is said that in the early morning they reflect sunlight off of their wings onto themselves to purify their minds of former misdeeds.

    Black/White 2: This pokemon spends all of its time secluded in a mountain forest to atone for a past action. It uses its sharpened abilities to defeat and outwit any intruder that threatens its solitude.




    I tried to incorporate as many things tying it together as possible, such as including all of its abilities, the mixed offense of its stats, and in a way the “risk” theme with it being dangerous for the trainer to attempt catching it. The mountain forest seemed obvious, it’s bug type, so the forest is a little cliche, but oh well. The nature plays along with the heavenly part, as well as a mountain being towards the heavens. I tried to play the “fallen angel” sort of thing into it, with it voluntarily secluding itself to atone for a past sin, but still a work in progress due to its obvious latent aggression. I also noticed a pattern of white entries showcasing physical attributes, while black entries were about how it battles, so I included that.

    Well, now i don't have to restrict the entry to make it funny, so there are a couple changes. In overall flavour, it became more grim, and almost sorrowful (as fitting with real dex entries, it shows an underlying pain, but keeps it kid friendly). I used the differences between the black/white entries to highlight that it is striving for redemption, but not there yet. (I kind of envision the innocence>wrath>repent to play out through the evolutionary chain, just as it does in the moveset) I made sure not to say what it seeks forgiveness for, because that would honestly fit in a prevo dex entry. I also wanted to include the fact that even though the wings were made of gold, they still make up its 99 base defense, and their weakness lies somewhere else.
  11. gamer40000

    gamer40000

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    Aurumoth, the Glorified Moth Pokemon

    Black: The first idea for a lighthouse came from a dancing Aurumoth that has fallen in a tower from a mountainous region. Now, trainers try to learn the Aurumoth's dances to shine as brightly as they do.

    White: Stories tell of foolish men who once spent years to catch a rare Aurumoth as a light and trophy. Once they took a closer look, it always turned out to be a common Volbeat.

    Black 2/White 2: Aurumoth are now always wary of stray rocks, as no stone has ever missed it.

    I heavily changed my dex entries, now focusing more on its abilities and moves more. I also tried to go with a different approach to a divine moth, with the Black and White entries being about making it smart and famous for good reason, and then the B2/W2 entree showing that it isn't entirely perfect.
  12. Meganium Sulfate

    Meganium Sulfate

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Seraph pokemon

    Black: In the daytime, it forms a cocoon out of its solid gold wings. It comes out after sunset to bring nightmares to immoral people.

    White: It can measure the greediness of anyone who looks at its wings. It allows only the pure of heart to collect the valuable golden powder it leaves behind.

    Black 2 / White 2: It leaves a trail of golden powder wherever it flies. A powerful illusion causes greedy people to see it as gray dust.
  13. nyttyn

    nyttyn No regrets
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    Thank you for being reasonable, bob.

    May the best entry win.

    (hint: not mine)
  14. KoA

    KoA The very best...
    is an Artist Alumnus

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    Just trying to finish this up, and after seeing some suggestions in general, I've "trimmed the fat" from it so to speak.


    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Judgment Pokemon

    Black: Luck charms are made from their golden bodies. Though normally tough, they will become brittle around negativity.

    White: Pieces of their armor are often collected for charms, however sometimes Aurumoth wants these back.

    B2 W2: Charms made from their shells for luck are said to reflect the nature of their owner. Whether good or bad luck is granted depends on how badly Aurumoth wants its shell back.

    Serious, informative, with a lil bit of wit.
  15. capefeather

    capefeather no shit
    is a Forum Moderatoris a CAP Contributoris a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus
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    I kind of like Birkal's idea and I've thought about CAP 4 having Soundproof a lot. Unfortunately, it doesn't have Soundproof. That might be problematic.

    Also this is just a random fanboy flavour stage. Getting so worked up about it won't accomplish anything except make everyone more upset.
  16. RabidChipmunk

    RabidChipmunk

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black: It has the ability to manipulate light. It can use this ability to disguise itself in order to ambush prey, or to frighten predators and escape from danger.

    White: It reinforces the fragile gold in its wings with other, harder metals, though some Aurumoth prefer to keep their wings pure.

    B2W2: It's golden wings have made it the source of many myths and legends. The discovery of Aurumoth is said to have formed the foundations of Alchemy.
  17. Jebus McAzn

    Jebus McAzn

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black: It is nearly unnoticeable when its wings are tucked in, leaving only its horns visible. Aurumoth are prideful, however, and will become hostile upon being mistaken for Sawsbuck antlers.

    White: An Aurumoth can bend light with its six wings, creating illusions. It will make itself appear as anything from a tree to a Pokemon Center to avoid battle.

    Black 2 / White 2: Aurumoth often disguise themselves as legendary Pokemon to scare away enemies. Unfortunately, this tends to lead to a dramatic spike in reported Ho-Oh sightings.



    Justification: I kept it light and witty, with the White entry a little more lighthearted than the Black entry. The BW2 entry was inspired greatly by Verminator's submission. I kept allusions to both its Illusion ability and KoA's lore about how it tends to cover itself with its wings.

    I tried to portray Aurumoth as a shyer kind of Pokemon who would prefer to avoid battle completely or make its enemies flee as opposed to a direct confrontation; I believe that this ties in line with the idea of angels and seraphs being elusive. The entries are humorous but contain actual content that describes both the Pokemon's personality and its abilities, something I'm rather proud of.

    I changed the wording in the first two entries to avoid using "invisible" and "visible" in the same sentence and to avoid the word "disguise" coming up twice in two entries. While I'm not 100% satisfied with the way it sounds overall, it has improved a great deal.
  18. Quanyails

    Quanyails
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    Hmm. ô.o Well, I'll be more comfortable if I downplay whatever humor I have in my entries.

    --

    Aurumoth, the Radiant Moth Pokémon

    Black
    : At night, it sways around with its six wings to get a sense of location. Ancient peoples copied this action, mistaking it for a dancing ritual.

    White: Its abdomen glows with a blinding light, and for this reason, trainers' Aurumoth are often utilized as beacons or spotlights.

    Black 2/White 2: The material in its wings is not unlike dense bread. An Aurumoth with only five wings had given a wing away to feed a famished soul.

    --

    I've never seen Aurumoth with actual gold wings, if KoA's earlier colors had shown anything. Instead, I played with its connection to its mistaken sacredness and their pragmatic actualities.

    If I have to explain further (it's mostly coincidence, anyway), the 'dancing ritual' is refers to its Heart Scale Dance moves, being not normally available, and only unlocked by an external force. I had to cut out the fact that Aurumoth cannot see well, but the light is only useful for and against others. I might cut that last light entry out entirely if it's too Mollux-y. The third entry has 'dense bread' as a subtle religious reference, in case that looks funny (in both terms of the word), and it shows an example of Aurumoth's character.

    Comments! Comments for everyone!
    Show Hide


    • fryfrey: The 'it's' in the first entry should be 'its', but as an entry in general, it never addresses the reader. Make that third person with 'a trainer' or the like. The White entry sounds a bit... hmm, well, a bit long. I think it could be condensed slightly. For the B2/W2 entry: no comma is needed after 'stop'.
    • Deck Knight: That's quite a bit of gold dust in those entries. Not that there's no precedent for that, but it does seem strange with the opposing entries. If they complemented each other more, I think it'd be stronger.
    • UllarWarlord: I like them; they're generically good and expected in terms of how in-depth Game Freak normally makes entries, especially as to the generality of this higher power.
    • Verminator: The Black entry's first part should be a sentence. I'm fine with the first and third entries, which show its behavior outside of battle, but the second just feels like it's there to explain No Guard. I'm not sure how to edit that entry for anything else, though.
    • RabidChipmunk: No comma before 'or' in the Black entry. I like the White entry for the diversity in various Aurumoths' behavior. The B2/W2 entry is nice, portraying Aurumoth's influence on people, especially on a superstitious subject such as alchemy (which should be lowercased).
    • Korski: I'm a fan of those entries that describe brittle golden shells, as that's both flavorful and Weak Armor-esque (and the fact that gold is soft in general). I'm not sure if the B2/W2 entry needs the 'For some reason', as it just lengthens it. The White entry is generally good. :P
    • Professor Shroomish: I like White's entry for its simplicity but distinctiveness, definitely. The B2/W2 entry is lightly humorous while still being very much in-character. The Black one, well, I can live with it. Not spectacular, but not bad.
    • GRs Cousin: Well, it does fit a rather legendary status, which would get confusing if we get pre-evolutions. If we don't, it just reenforces its character--that's a good thing. The B2/W2 entries do feel detached, as the fire connection is not immediately obvious, but the first two entries are great!
    • Eagle4: Well, I've done that. As for your entries, I like the first two showing gold and natural behavior without making it blatant. Just make sure to lowercase the pokemon names in the B2/W2 one. Speaking of, that one is rather curious, as what reason is there for scientists to look at their thoraxes?
    • Mdevil: Ah, the White entry is quite the in-universe allusion, eh? I like it and the horrendous aftermath is implies. I've thought about some sort of incantation/chorus toward Arceus as an entry, so I'm glad to see that one being put to use! I'm not sure what are 'the disappearances' mentioned in the Black entry; were they guardians of some sort? The information's pretty vague for that one.
    • Espeon65: I don't know about the species name, considering it's not a completely illusive pokemon. I'm not fond of your Black entry, since the first is a bit explicit of death (Never Say Die, as the trope goes). The White entry's first part is good, but the second feels a bit like an addition, an example. If it was habitual, it would be more of an entry; integrate that a bit, perhaps. The 'and usually escape from or hurt' section sounds a bit odd in sentence format. How about 'it will never listen to its trainer and instead, escape and hurt him' (well, there's a him/her awkwardness usually not in pokedex entries, then)?
    • KoA: 'Judgment' is the spelling given in Pokemon, so that should be consistent. The Black entry works well, as I like the brittle gold entries. The White entry's two sentences are a bit disconnected, but hey, a lot of pokedex entries are. B2/W2's entry is a nice remix of the previous ones, and quite fitting.
    • gamer40000: 'Glorified Moth' is one character too long as a species name, unfortunately. You could trim it to 'Glory Moth' if you want. v.v The Black one has nice wordplay with 'shine' as the literal definition and the figurative. It does provide reasoning for the Dance moves it has. The White one also gives nice mythology. The B2/W2 one is a lovely allusion to No Guard and humor from its weakness to rock (attack)s. Perhaps just trim the 'now' in that one.
    • SubwayJ: I would be more favorable toward the B2/W2 entry if Mollux didn't share similar entries during the submission phase. Pity, isn't it, that we have two shining CAPs in a row? As for the other entries; Black's is fine and morbidly humorous, which I'll accept, but White does seem at odds (maybe) if Aurumoth gains pre-evolutions and what would constitute as 'young'.
    • Rediamond: Ah, I like the History Channel one, but to dampen the humor slightly, generalize it rather than specifying the specific channel. Black's entry seems very... familiar.
    • Bull of Heaven: I like them in general; they're strong, compliment each other, and subtly reveals its abilities without being too harsh.
    • Jebus McAzn: Ah, Sawsbuck antlers--how impetuous! I do like the tone you've made with your entries, being just plausible enough instead of steeping into jokes. One comment I'll say is that the Black entry is a teensy bit long, so a small trim of that should work.
    • Scoopapa: They're generically good, and are definitely fine. :)
    • WebsterVanCooney: So in the White entry, Aurumoths always glow at night? o3o Just curious, not critical. I do like the 'moth pit'/'mosh pit' pun there; first I've seen, and a workable explanation for it!
    • nyttyn: Short but sweet, as the phrase goes. The comma is not needed in the White entry, and the B2/W2 entry should be a full sentence rather than a news blurb. Otherwise, nice parallel between past, present, and maybe future.
    • capefeather: Aw, Ideals vs Truth could've worked, but if it's partially religious, sure. It's not unheard of for pokedex entries to have vague references to other works (I think). But explicitly mentioning the word 'religious' doesn't have application in the pokemon world. Superstitious, maybe?
    • Adams: A little longer, a little more explicit.
    • jagged_angel: Yay, more brittle gold wing entries! I like them in general! White one's neat with wish-granting and Wish and Healing Wish, without being explicit. B2/W2's is good overall. Great!
    • Yilx: Allcaps aren't required in 5th gen. I see that subtle reference to YOUR MEME there. It works nicely--impressive. The second references the Bible or its natural production of honey. Either and both work. Not sure what the B2/W2 one has as a subtle reference; if there is one, I'm not seeing it. Either way, these references don't detract from Aurumoth's behavior, so it's two thumbs up from me.
    • Shelmet: [skip]
    • RavensNation: Hmm. Very interesting word choice for species name. I don't see Aurumoth's abdomen as a stinger, per se, but everything else sounds fine. If you read my previous comments, you'll see that I like the entries that mention that their golden wings break. Overall, they're solid entries.
    • LouisCyphre: For the Black entry, aren't their wings already removed from the body? The White entry sounds neat, but only if it is put together as a single sentence. B2/W2's is good legendary connection, in both terms of the word.
    • iamdanielcruces: I'll apply Bellisario's Maxim to the first entry, while figuring that the other two are okay, and only okay.
    • Glacier Knight: Gah, your species name is too long! D: Gold Guardian or Golden Guard work. The Black entry is a bit morbid, but not out of Pokemon's expectations. White's entry reminds me of Sigilyph's; not bad, but a curious connection. B2/W2's is cute! :D
    • CiteAndPrune: Heh, I like the direction you're taking with this pokemon. Definitely unique, being a playful and humorous (ahem, BMB) (pseudo-)legendary rather than the mythical, devout one. I'll definitely vote for these entries if yours get in.
    • Zee-V70: I love the depth in your entries, referencing its abilities only slightly while providing a vibrant image of Aurumoth in nature. As for the species name, hmm... I don't see Sulfur evident in the entries, while Shining is shown more so.
    • SpecsX: The Black entry is very Mollux-like. D: Otherwise, the B2/W2 entry is neat, and the White one is fine.
    • phoopes: Ah, so Aurumoths are used to cheat during sporting events? I do wonder why? In the B2/W2 entry, make sure to lowercase 'god' or use the word 'deity' or a synonym. An uppercase God draws Christian references, which probably wouldn't stick in pokemon. The Black entry is neat, but it does make me wonder why it doesn't get Pay Day--that's not to say pokedex entries and moves have to match! It's a good variant on the gold wings' value often mentioned by others.
    • paintseagull: Ah, luciferous, eh? Judgmental would be the spelling consistent with the in-game Judgment attack. Nice wordplay on the holy and the unholy, which may appease BMB. ;)
    • Shadowhand: You're not deciding on height and weight, first of all, so don't worry about that. The entries are pretty darn long for pokedex ones. There's a maximum of three sentences, and those are short ones at that! You have long ones that consist of multiple sentences each! Try cutting the entries to half their lengths.
    • Birkal: How do they ominously float through forest? o3o Is there precedent for the pokedex using those words to bring a tone to the pokemon in other entries (if they're not ghastly, of course)? The other two (White and B2/W2) entries are strong, though, so they're fine for the next poll.
    • Nyktos: Nice parallels in the Black and White entries, which is further reenforced with the B2/W2 one. I don't find the abilities forced at all, but instead, they add to its character.
    • Meganium Sulfate: Good, although the previous entries on it had made me expect these sorts of entries. That's not bad. :)
  19. DarkSlay

    DarkSlay This Wouldn't Have Happened In Romney's Smogon
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    FINAL SUBMISSION

    Aurumoth, the Hallowed Pokemon.

    Black: When in the presence of those who are lost, Aurumoth emits a light from its bulb as a beacon to safety.

    White: Its shell houses a spirit of light. The more love it receives, the brighter its golden eyes shine.

    B2/W2: The more its outer shell is damaged, the weaker its concentration becomes. Yet, its bright glow never seems to diminish.

    ---

    Really like the "Hallowed" idea, as it's not only a direct symbol of reverence but also a play on "Hollowed", like its shell! In terms of the actual entries, I combined practical uses of Aurumoth and combined it with lore that can be seen as a bolster to its roots as either a holy or light-based symbol. Short, sweet, and to the point!
  20. Galladiator

    Galladiator

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    Final Submission

    Aurumoth, the Deity Pokemon

    Black: It is said that ancient civilizations revered this Pokemon as a sign of the apocalypse. It is supposedly able to smite any it deems unworthy with a single glare.

    White: Aurumoth live in a secluded stretch of forest far from civilization. Seeing one is said to bring good luck.

    Black / White 2: It is capable of disguising itself in order to fool its prey. It has been known to secretly appear to unwitting humans under various guises.
  21. The Royal Guard

    The Royal Guard

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,495
    FINAL SUBMISSION

    Aurumoth, the Harrowing Pokemon

    Black: Due to an injustice done to this Pokemon, it feels a rage towards anything it sees. It is rumored to attack any unworthy travelers who approach.

    White: This Pokemon is very withdrawn, only showing in front of trainers that have a pure heart.

    Black 2/White 2: This Pokemon is very anti-social, it is rumored that it is like this due to a past transgression. It only allows the strongest of heart and mind to tame it.


    I kinda like more of a darker tone to the "god-like" qualities to Aurumoth. I just thought I'd throw my hat into the ring.
  22. SubwayJ

    SubwayJ

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    2,754
    Okay thanks for the feedback quan and eagle and others who helped on IRC I didn't change much except I do have an alternate White entry for certain circumstances.

    Final Submission

    Aurumoth the Golden Moth pokemon

    Black: Because Aurumoth's wings are extremely heavy, it uses telepathic powers to keep them afloat. When Aurumoth loses concentration, the wings fall, sometimes harming innocent passers-by.

    White: Young Aurumoth are often seen trying to fly by flapping their solid gold wings. The wings are very heavy however; this causes the Aurumoth to flop around hopelessly.

    Black 2/White 2: An Aurumoth's tail produces light based on how healthy it is. An ill Aurumoth will only show a small glow whereas a healthy Aurumoth has the ability to blind whole cities.
    -------------------------

    I kept my original entries it seemed everyone liked my Black entry so that was good. The white entry I would like to submit (if legal) two submissions. One to be used in the ease of prevos and one otherwise. Also I know my b2w2 entry isn't that funny but I guess that can appease those who don't want ALL humor.

    Todeloo
  23. GRs Cousin

    GRs Cousin

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2011
    Messages:
    302
    Final submission (if nothing said etc)

    I have to say Quanyails, you are a saint. Taking the time to critique every single entry when we're always scarce for input... If more people were like you, we'd all be a lot happier. As thanks, I'll give some in-depth critique to yours.

    I'm not so sure about the whole getting a sense of location segment. It seems like something else, I don't know what, would be better suited there. Pokemon that fly don't often get lost, so it just seems a little counter-intuitive. However, I do love the latter half. It sounds feasible enough, and ironic, meaning it's humorous without feeling forced. If anything, don't change this.

    I'm not so sure about this one, either. Just one CAP ago, we had a Pokemon known for its luminescence. Having an entry that specifically makes a point that our CAP is glowy seems a little uninspired. I'm not against Tail Glow-warranting entries, but try to make it a little more unique.

    Bread? Feed a famished soul? I'm for strange entries and whatnot, but it sounds out of character in my opinion to be talking about Aurumoth's wings being an edible material. If you could at least justify why its wings aren't a hard alloy like its stats would imply, this one would make a lot more sense.

    -----------------------------

    And now, a revision to my submission. As per Quanyails' request, I changed up my BW2 entry. Hopefully it's better and easier to see than the old fire-allusion.

    Aurumoth, the Seraph Pokemon

    Black: Aurumoth are often portrayed in myths as assistants to the "Original One" during the creation of the universe. They made use of illusions to communicate with their master.
    White: The shape of Aurumoth's shadows are often mistaken for disembodied hands. They fly above their nesting grounds to scare off trespassers with this deceit.
    Black 2 / White 2: The fighting-style of Aurumoth is very assertive. It will not retaliate until its opponent either fractures one of its wings or injures one of its offspring.


    As usual, Final Submission if nobody has anything to add about this one.
  24. dwarfstar

    dwarfstar mindless philosopher
    is a Pre-Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    613
    @ Birkal: I thought that too. I like the silent guardian idea - your entries are the best I've seen so far.
  25. Eagle4

    Eagle4

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,628
    Final Submission:

    Aurumoth, the Divine Moth Pokemon

    Black: Its gold is often used to coat Magikarp caviar as a gourmet dish. Once eaten, many experience a sense of pure gratitude
    and a sickly sweet aftertaste.

    White: Although scientists have yet to uncover its prominent attributes, it is rumoured to roam near bright lights, harshly headbutting them repeatedly.

    B2/W2: Researchers are keen to study the fluffy thorax of Aurumoth for speculated medicinal powers. Many find the segment, only to realise they've stumbled upon a Venonat.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I want to keep the humour bugmaniacbob set us, and it seems I might be the only one who's primarily focusing on that. The Black entry refers to its gold wings in a comedic way, whilst the White entry focuses on its nature and personality. The B2/W2 entry is a comedic entry which associates with humans as well as Aurumoth, and includes another pokemon as well.
    I really want at least one slated submission which keeps to bugmaniacbob's previous challenge. I don't mind if it isn't this one, but I feel it definitely needs to be comedic.
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