FML: An Ode to Smogon Bitching

[SMZ]

Every time I see Ace Matador post, I see Justin Bieber. FML
I tried to convince TIK to change his avatar to another funky number, I failed. FML
I mimicked Zacchaeus' avatar, but he never did mine. FML
Fat Mooby Look. FML

 

[a fairy]

I looked at this thread for a second time. FML.

 

[Frieddimsum]

Tonight when washing my face, I realized the towel was already too wet to wipe my face with. So what did I do? Turned the towel over. I'm still unsure as to why I thought this action would solve the problem. MLIA.

Oh. Wait.

 

[Mike B]

A girl was flirting with me and led me into a men's restroom to makeout.

I, thinking my date said "have fun," thought it included making out with the opposite sex. He got angry afterward. FML.





True story.

 

[Xav]

I have no friends. FML.

 

[vonFiedler]

My girlfriend and I got into an argument, so I told her to make me a sandwich and she dumped me. FMLIB

 

[Ninahaza]

Just when i was beginning to enjoy my sleep i got woken up for Karaoke, FML

 

[ungulateman]

well uh

i could complain but i'm better off than pretty much anyone else in this country

i guess i could complain about being a lazy, retarded prick

fml

 

[Agonist]

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML.

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up a black penis very well. FML

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

 

[JSND]

Even in this topic F.O.E !!!!!! FML

 

[Zacchaeus]

I mimicked Zacchaeus' avatar, but he never did mine. FML

My sister needed multiple cameras for her college class, so that left me without. And now I think the thread died. FML

 

[Aku]

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I don't think this is so much an fml as a fucking strange occurrence.

 

[Vexatious]

Everytime a warstory is posted I can't read it without seeing some kind of flame war with my name thrown in there for no reason FML

 

[steph]

my life is bro

 

[Aku]

you've got a bad ass signature
bro
check out that rebel
doesn't care bout societal norms
Christian666n
man fucking bro

 

[sonickid01]

A girl was flirting with me and led me into a men's restroom to makeout.

I, thinking my date said "have fun," thought it included making out with the opposite sex. He got angry afterward. FML.





True story.

Am I the only one confused by the gender issues in this post

Unless you're bisexual

 

[Zacchaeus]

Am I the only one confused by the gender issues in this post

Unless you're bisexual

Holy shit how many times are people going to not know that Mike B is gay?

Here you go

 

[steph]

you've got a bad ass signature
bro
check out that rebel
doesn't care bout societal norms
Christian666n
man fucking bro

no no no bro, I love jesus
MLIB

 

[Frieddimsum]

I have a cold. Woe is me!

 

[black_cotton]

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when i woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

 

[StarGengar]

...

 

[SMZ]

My sister needed multiple cameras for her college class, so that left me without. And now I think the thread died. FML

You used your sister as an excuse, she better be hot, she probably isn't. FML

 

[tup]

I bought an ipad only to discover later that it doesn't have a USB port, a camera or a warranty card. FML

 

[Zacchaeus]

-bacon sex-

So he put his dick in bacon? I'm really not sure how this works

 

[Mike B]

Am I the only one confused by the gender issues in this post

Unless you're bisexual

I'm not even bisexual. The only woman I ever tried to date was a lying, overcontrolling, bitchy slut. FML

So he put his dick in bacon? I'm really not sure how this works

Ever heard of meat curtains? Bacon is more like a meat tassle