Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML.
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up a black penis very well. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
My sister needed multiple cameras for her college class, so that left me without. And now I think the thread died. FMLI mimicked Zacchaeus' avatar, but he never did mine. FML
I don't think this is so much an fml as a fucking strange occurrence.Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Am I the only one confused by the gender issues in this postA girl was flirting with me and led me into a men's restroom to makeout.
I, thinking my date said "have fun," thought it included making out with the opposite sex. He got angry afterward. FML.
True story.
no no no bro, I love jesusyou've got a bad ass signature
bro
check out that rebel
doesn't care bout societal norms
Christian666n
man fucking bro
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when i woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
You used your sister as an excuse, she better be hot, she probably isn't. FMLMy sister needed multiple cameras for her college class, so that left me without. And now I think the thread died. FML
So he put his dick in bacon? I'm really not sure how this works-bacon sex-
I'm not even bisexual. The only woman I ever tried to date was a lying, overcontrolling, bitchy slut. FMLAm I the only one confused by the gender issues in this post
Unless you're bisexual
So he put his dick in bacon? I'm really not sure how this works