"PAAAAARASECT!!" it yells.
It seems scared, so I try to soothe it with my voice: "Hello there, little buddy. Do you need a friend?"
"Parapara..." He seems sad. I quickly realize why; his Trainer's body is being eaten by zombies. Easily fixed with my handy shotgun. I quickly raid him, and it appears that his only Pokemon were this Parasect... AND A FERALIGATR!! YEAH BABY!
"ParaSECT, sect!" It seems to trust me, so I take it in.
"Come on, Parasect, let's go back to Wailord."
I must say, nothing says "CRAPTASTIC!!" quite like Parasect's stats. However, it has a really good amount of useful moves and abilities, listed here in order of usefulness:
-Aromatherapy (Heals zombies back to humans; prevents all of us from becoming Zombified; can now use Feraligatr's Crunch and Ice Fang with SHEER IMPUNITY)
-Dry Skin (can heal when Feraligatr or Wailord use Water attacks on it)
-Spore (It's naptime, little zombies!)
-Effect Spore (You want a piece of me? Take it, and a nap! Or immobility! Or a slow, painful re-death!)
-Growth (Raise stats to do more damage!!)
-Cross Poison (Zombie=Chopped and poisoned)
-X-Scissor (see: Cross Poison, but without poison and with STAB)
-Giga Drain/Leech Life (use on zombies to gain a little health)
-Slash (see: X-Scissor, but without STAB)
The rest are useless. (lol Scratch, lol Damp, lol RAGE powder)